Summerschool at the NSA - Who Should be the Cast? [satire]

About

On this page, I would like to note who I think should be the cast for some of the characters of Summerschool at the NSA.

The Cast

Direction: Chuck Norris

Photo of Chuck Norris from the English Wikipedia

Norris is an excellent actor, and director of action films and has recently made a huge comeback thanks to his factoids and became a bigger star than he ever was and the "alpha male". I want him to direct Summerschool at the NSA which is all about action.

Summer Glau: either herself or Megan Fox (as fallback)

Photo of Summer Glau from the English Wikipedia Photo of Megan Fox from the English Wikipedia

If Summer can play herself, then so be it, but if not, then I believe Fox can be a good substitute, because she’s a great actress.

Sarah Michelle Gellar: Herself

Photo of Sarah Michelle Gellar from the English Wikipedia

A bit obvious, right?

The Waitress: Jennifer Lawrence

Photo of Jennifer Lawrence from the English Wikipedia

Sic transit gloria mundi, bitch! I’m now looking forward to Lawrence’s new autobiography: "Life according to Jennifer Lawrence" subtitled "You used to be Sarah Michelle who?!!".

The Waitress backup: Alex G

Lawrence didn't need my help in getting de-Alpha-Femalized - see Celebgate. But she left a void of no Alpha Female.

At one night, I entertained the thought of making Alex G the next The Hacker Monarch instead of Summer Glau/xkcd. I eventually took Larry Wall (who is an awesome former The Hacker Monarch who chatted with me on IRC and offered me wise advice), and quit only to realize shortly that Summer Glau being a terminator has terminated the whole The Unique Hacker Monarch shenanigan that went at least from Moses, through Saladin, through me, and finally to her and xkcd and made a growing number of competent Hacker Monarchs, and every hacker can and should become one.

I believe Alex G is already a Hacker Monarch even if she doesn't call herself that, but she can be a new Alpha Female as well, right? So welcome to fame and fortune, babe! I hope Ms. Lawrence will be too busy doing a Reddit "I am Jennifer Lawrence, star of the Hunger Games and Silver Linings Playbook - ask me anything" followed by twittering, posting on YouTube and more.

What about Megan Fox? She can be an Alpha Female along with Alex G! No one said that there could not be two at the same time!

Also, RIP Christina Grimmie. You were phenomenal and my favourite for being the next The Hacker Monarch after Summer Glau but you developed arrogance, and became too busy to think and introspect and collaborate with fellow YouTubers and so died from what killed Socrates, Galileo and Samantha Smith among others. Wish I would have noticed and warned you in time.

Andrew: Chris Tucker

Photo of Chris Tucker from the English Wikipedia

I recall seeing Tucker play on Silver Linings Playbook and feels that the role of Andrew the soldier is similar enough to his role there.