Conclusions and Reflection of Summerschool at the NSA [satire]

As the sling shoots, grown men will cry

Abstract

The Hollywood actresses Sarah Michelle Gellar (of Buffy fame) and Summer Glau (of xkcd notability) conspire to kick the ass of the NSA (= the United States government’s National Security Agency), while using special warfare that is completely non-violent and non-destructive. Two attractive, intelligent, and resourceful women against a large, inefficient, federal government organisation whose estimated annual budget is several times their combined worth. Does the NSA actually stand a chance?

This screenplay is surrealistic realism and takes place in April 2013. It is far-fetched, but could actually happen.

About

Reflection and conclusion about the screenplay Summerschool at the NSA which pities Sarah Michelle Gellar and Summer Glau (= the Hollywood actresses) against the U.S. National Security Agency (NSA).

My Representation of Ms. Gellar and Ms. Glau

While I am a big fan of Sarah Michelle Gellar, due to her role playing Buffer Summers on the Buffy the Vampire Slayer show and spin-off shows in the Buffy franchise, I admit I was only familiar with Summer Glau due to being mentioned in the xkcd web comic, which like Buffy was at the time, is a big phenomenon among computer geeks (or “software hackers”). I eventually decided to check out some of her videos on YouTube and saw a collection of highlights of her best excerpts, and the two videos of her sharing a train cabin with the four main guys of The Big Bang Theory which was nicely done and funny.

I originally planned to send Gellar into the NSA headquarters, but after discovering she was a mother, decided against it, and so decided to instead send a fellow actress, who as far as I know, is still unmarried and does not have children. I should also note that the characters of both Gellar and Glau in the screenplay may not correspond, precisely or at all, to the real ones, but I know of several cases where it happened in the past (see for example Wil Wheaton as a cocky version of himself on The Big Bang Theory).

Finally note that I no longer think that entering the NSA headquarters is safe, even with the world’s best bodyguard, because it is essentially one of the largest psychiatric wards in .us. Naturally, Saladin, was able to deal with the Knights Templar who were crazier back then, than the NSA people are today, but I still don't wish any harm done to Ms. Glau. Based on a gut feeling “Summerschool at the CIA” sounds harmless enough, but it's up to the CIA to invite Ms. Glau for a guided and filmed tour in their headquarters, and I'm not sure if they are enlightened enough for that yet.

How I wrote the screenplay

During one of my Hypomanias I was obsessed with reforming the NSA, and getting them to publish all they know (“Publish or Perish”) and also came up with some NSA facts, and ended up publicly requesting Sarah Michelle Gellar to project and star in a documentary film titled “Summerschool at the NSA”. Then I attended a Sci-Fi fantasy conference called Olamot in Tel Aviv (some photos I took) which was an amazing experience and I ended up mostly helping to man the booth of open source in Israel. After the first day, I came up with the skeleton of the plot while on my way from the conference, and ended up "perfecting" it later on.

Correlation with the Snowden Documents

The Edward Snowden fiasco, broke down shortly after the publication of the original screenplay in Advogato, the Full Disclosure mailing list, and as a popular post on the /r/xkcd subreddit. While possibly not causing, I do not think it is a coincidence, because it's possible that simply many people now are both not afraid of the NSA, and think they are evil.

Furthermore, it seems likely to me that many of the Snowden’s findings are not real or don't work well in practice, and that they are a product of someone with Mania or perhaps an attack of Schizophrenia. Like I said earlier, I won't be surprised if many people in the NSA have become Bipolar (= Manic-depressive) or Schizophrenics, due to the huge amount of stress and evil they run into, and I'm reminded of the delusions I thought of during my own "Great Mania" which were irrational at the time.