The song “Wide Awake” by Katy Perry is Evil!

Photo of Katy Perry

Context for the Bit

I was chatting in an online chatroom the other day, when someone I talked with told us: "I am only half-awake.". So I said:

That’s not good. You should be wide-awake instead - .

(The link is to the music video of the song “Wide Awake” by Katy Perry.)

Shortly after that, I was quieted from the channel temporarily (for 24 hours) with the explanation that I should not link to web resources containing “naked or half-naked women”.

This got me thinking: while there is a short sequence at the beginning where Ms. Perry is shown naked in the video, without showing any sensitive parts, and without the video being marked as pornographic/not-safe-for-work, is it really that inappropriate? Like one of my friends later commented about it: “it’s the kind of video that 8 year olds watch twice a day.”. Furthermore, other participants of the chatroom shared similar possibly-iffy videos in the past, I didn’t remember at the time that it depicted that, and that it was given only as (quite lame I admit) joke in the context of the conversation.

This eventually led to me writing this bit. Note that it is written tongue-in-cheek, and I'm actually quite fond of the song.

The Feature Itself

The song “Wide Awake” by Katy Perry is Evil!!!

It is immoral, unethical, antithetical, impractical, illegal in many countries, incomprehensible, undesirable, encourages bad behaviour in children and adolescents, and completely illogical and unlikable.

It contains nudity, half-nudity, ¾ of nudity, and any α-nudity where 0≤α≤1.3!

Linking to it, while in a chat-room, as a lame joke to someone who said they are only “half-awake” will get you banned!

Seriously, this song will eat your dog! It will also eat your cat, your dog’s kittens and your cat’s puppies!! (Or maybe vice-versa…) It will kill your children, rape your wife, insult your grandparents, as well as cause global warming!

It will redo everything that Chuck Norris has undone for humanity! (Or maybe vice-versa…)

Are you ready for that much EVIL? You're probably not, but since the song has corrupted me, I’ll give you a link:

You have been warned.


This bit was published on 1 April 2016 as an alternative April Fool’s Day joke. I originally wrote it some time before it and decided to publish it because my other ideas didn't seem as good.

See Also


Copyright and Licence

This document is copyright by Shlomi Fish, 2016, and is available under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-ShareAlike License 3.0 Unported (or at your option any later version).

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