Shlomi Fish’s Humorous Collections of Facts


There is an ongoing Internet meme of collecting various funny or otherwise amusing “facts” about Chuck Norris. This meme has expanded to cover facts about other people or entities.

These pages house my contributions to this trend, which I find very amusing. Many people I talk with don't enjoy them, as much as I and some of my friends seem to, so don't worry if you do not.

The Collections

Chuck Norris Facts

These are additions to the Chuck Norris facts by my Internet friends and by me. Most of them are kinda geeky (or even computer geeky), but some are more generic.

Reading from the wikipedia page:

Chuck Norris “facts” are satirical factoids about martial artist and actor Chuck Norris that have become an Internet phenomenon and as a result have become widespread in popular culture. The “facts” are normally absurd hyperbolic claims about Norris’ toughness, attitude, virility, sophistication, and masculinity.

Buffy Facts

Facts about Buffy Summers, the main protagonist of the television show Buffy the Vampire Slayer, as created by Joss Whedon and portrayed by Sarah Michelle Gellar.

Clarissa Darling Facts (from Clarissa Explains it All)

Facts about Clarissa Darling, the protagonist of the show Clarissa Explains It All, as created by Mitchell Kriegman and played by Melissa Joan Hart.

Emma Watson Facts

Emma Watson is a 1990-born British actress and model, who rose to fame playing Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter films, and (quoting from the Wikipedia page):

In October 2013, she was voted Sexiest Female Movie Star in a worldwide poll conducted by Empire magazine. In May 2014, BuzzFeed dubbed her the “most flawless woman of the decade”.

Knuth Facts

Don Knuth is a professor Emeritus of Computer Science at Stanford University, and is the creator of TeX, inventor of several important algorithms and author of The Art of Computer Programming.

These facts explain why he isn’t God, but pretty close.

Larry Wall Facts

Larry Wall is the creator of the Perl programming language, and the inventor of the patch program. These facts illustrate his “hacky” (= rule bending) awesomeness.

NSA Facts

The NSA is the United States’ National Security Agency, a cryptologic intelligence agency. These facts show why the NSA is a paper tiger, and a money sink, and why it should not be feared.

Summer Glau Facts

Summer Glau (born 1981) is a Hollywood actress best known for playing River Tam in Firefly and Cameron, a Terminator, in the Television series The Sarah Connor Chronicles. She is also notable for being featured in the online comics, xkcd, and for being featured as a fictional version of herself in the realistic, political, fan-fiction, screenplay, Summerschool at the NSA.

Glau is notable for being the first non-fictional and real-life female, which is the subject of such facts here.

Windows Update Facts

Windows Update is a service offered by Microsoft to update components of its software.

These facts illustrate how horribly slow Windows Update is and how it is annoying to use.

Xena (the Warrior Princess) Facts

After reading the Wikipedia page about Chuck Norris Facts (and related facts), I was saddened to learn that there were none about females. So, in the name of gender equality, a collection of facts about Xena, the Warrior Princess was created.

I recall watching the show and enjoying it, though I found it a little silly. I also found the character of Xena to be more comical than strong.

XSLT Facts

XSLT is short for Extensible Stylesheet Language (XSL) Transformations and is an XML-based language for transforming XML documents into other XML documents.

These facts illustrate how evil XSLT (supposedly) is.

I think XSLT has many legitimate uses and can be pretty sweet, but an IRC conversation we had on ##programming started this meme and it seems cool.

“In Soviet Russia” Additions

Additions to the In Soviet Russia… (or “Soviet reversal”) meme by my friends and me.