Windows Update Facts

Windows Update is a service offered by Microsoft to update components of its software.

These facts illustrate how horribly slow Windows Update is and how it is annoying to use.

Windows Update Facts

  • Windows Update doesn’t.

  • Aesop originally wanted to write his fable as “The Hare and Windows Update” instead of “The Hare and the Tortoise” but could not figure out how the hare will ever lose to Windows Update, even despite him not taking the race seriously.

  • By the time it takes Windows Update to download a 22 MB update without installing it, Mageia Linux’s urpmi was already able to download and install a game whose package is 900 MB (and there was still a lot of time to spare).

  • Only three things are infinite: the universe, human stupidity, and the amount of patience that Windows Update requires.

  • Windows Update does not take forever to finish updating your computer. It takes at least forever and two weeks.

  • Ten measures of slowness went down to the world. Windows Update required at least eleven, so more had to be provided.

  • The Windows Update developers are going to burn in hell for the combined time it took it to install updates on the users' computers.

  • איזופוס במקור רצה לכתוב את המשל שלו כ"הארנבת ו-Windows Update" במקום "הארנבת והצב", אבל הוא לא הצליח להעלות בדעתו דרך שבה הארנבת הייתה מפסידה ל-Windows Update אפילו למרות העובדה שהיא לא לקחה את המירוץ ברצינות.

Copyright and Licence

This document is Copyright by Shlomi Fish, 2016, and is available under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License 3.0 Unported (or at your option any later version).

For securing additional rights, please contact Shlomi Fish and see the explicit requirements that are being spelt from abiding by that licence.

See Also