         <rindolf>  buu: do you have a working manual of BL?
         <rindolf>  s/working/up-to-date/
             <buu>  It's kind of sort of up to date
 <perlygatekeeper>  he means NO
             <buu>  I've got some docs!
         <rindolf>  buu: do you have a functional spec? An architecture
                    document? An interface whitepaper? A developer's
                    guide? A user manual? A "The BL-Book" and "BL - The
                    Program"?
             <buu>  rindolf: no, no, no no and no

    -- Discussing the merits of documenting one's pet languages on
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
     <rindolf>  sleeper: why are people obsessed with one-liners?
     <rindolf>  It takes 3 lines - OMG what a disaster!
       <Botje>  rindolf: newline prices went up again
     <rindolf>  Botje: I buy my newlines in the black market
 <dabreegster>  Botje: again? drat.
             *  Botje reports rindolf to the newline police
 <dabreegster>  Botje: I know about an... (underground) operation going on
                to pirate newlines.
     <rindolf>  Botje: I bribed a few cops in the newline police, but nice
                try.
 <dabreegster>  Botje: Some crazy guys are trying to free newlines from
                patents! They want to rid the market!
             *  cursor gets called up to serve in the newline jury
     <rindolf>  I think we need to start a campaign to lift all
                restrictions off newlines.
 <dabreegster>  rindolf: La Resistance lives on!\n
       <Botje>  I already stockpiled millions of newlines
 <dabreegster>  Botje: We can have the one-liners destroyed by sundown
 <dabreegster>  Not destroyed, but... TURNED INTO TWO-LINERS! Mwuhahaha!

    -- The Cost of Newlines
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
            *  buu Stevie[FP] with a plunger.
            *  Stevie[FP] looks for the verb in that sentence
       <sili>  i think you're missing a verb
 <Stevie[FP]>  I think he's missing a brain.
       <sili>  unless Stevie[FP] is a verb i don't know
       <sili>  Stevie[FP]: v. see Stevie[FP]
 <Stevie[FP]>  I am not a verb!
       <sili>  you've been verbatized
            *  rindolf Stevie[FP]'s Chris62vw
 <Stevie[FP]>  verbalized?
    <rindolf>  Stevie[FP]: verbalized is a different thing.
    <rindolf>  Stevie[FP]: it comes from "verbal".
 <Stevie[FP]>  Verbified.
 <Stevie[FP]>  Verbiated.
    <rindolf>  stefan: verbificated.
      <Botje>  verbed.
 <Stevie[FP]>  Verberated.
    <rindolf>  Stevie[FP]: verberation is overrated.

    -- Verbing the Verb
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
 <BarnacleBob>  i hate xml.....
    <mcrawfor>  <response to="BarnacleBob">indeed</response>
     <rindolf>  mcrawfor: :-)
     <rindolf>  mcrawfor++ # Nice joke
       <Botje>  ehm. ouch.
       <Botje>  rindolf: no!
       <Botje>  <postincrement comment="Nice
                joke">mcrawfor</postincrement>
     <rindolf>  Botje: LOL.
     <rindolf>  <postincrement comment="As you wish">Botje</postincrement>

    -- Human XML
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
         *  __you fart
         *  __you say "oops"
 <rindolf>  __you: heh
         *  __you kick rindolf
   <__you>  (rindolf, you're now being kicked by 435 people)
 <squeeks>  __you need to go outside.
  <kspath>  __you: Who owns you?
         *  __you go outside
         *  __you are pwned by dazjorz
         *  __you is now known as we
         *  we are having a useless off-topic conversation right now
 <rindolf>  we: hahah
         *  we we is now known as __you
         *  __you decide this channel is now useless and decide to leave
         *  simcop2387 is now known as we
         *  we are not amused
         *  __you and I are together simcop2387
         *  squeeks is now known as _I_
         *  _I_ need to tell __you something
         *  __you listen
         *  simcop2387 is now known as we
         *  we need help
         *  _I_ think we are getting a bit sick of the shenanigans
 <rindolf>  I'm so making a fortune out of it.
         *  we want to be on bash.org

    -- /me (or I, you or we) is finding it amusing
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
 <spyro_boy>  Oh! I fixed it :D
 <spyro_boy>  Yay :D
   <rindolf>  spyro_boy: congrats!
 <spyro_boy>  Thanks for your help, everyone. :)
   <rindolf>  spyro_boy: now you should translate this script to O'Caml,
              Haskell, Perl 6.
 <spyro_boy>  rindolf, huh?
   <rindolf>  spyro_boy: Smalltalk, C, C++, Visual Basic...
 <spyro_boy>  rindolf, translate to what?
   <rindolf>  spyro_boy: to all these programming languages.
 <spyro_boy>  haha
 <spyro_boy>  rindolf, yeah.
   <rindolf>  Because a script in perl is Not Enough<tm>.
   <rindolf>  spyro_boy: but see the Great Computer Language Shootout.
 <spyro_boy>  rindolf, I tried learning C,C++, and Java, but I couldn't
              catch on.

    -- Mulit-linguality
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
     <rindolf>  wankit
      <buubot>  Perl 6, unlike most people, is able to breathe in the
                vacuum of space. In fact, anything else would damage its
                respiratory system. Because of this, whenever it's
                visiting Earth, it wears a respirator, which resembles a
                kickass beard.
     <rindolf>  Heh heh.
     <rindolf>  Are all of buubot's wankit factoids about Perl 6?
     <rindolf>  He should have some about Chuck Norris, too.
      <merlyn>  fictional factoids about a partially designed, partially
                implemented, partially wanted language. :)
     <rindolf>  merlyn: yeah.
      <merlyn>  Heh - those are all Chuck Norris quotes with s/Chuck/P6/
 <dabreegster>  rindolf: It's written in Chuck Norris, right
      <merlyn>  Chuck Norris writes code in Perl 6. Before Larry's done.
                And it works.
     <rindolf>  merlyn: Chuck Norris wrote Perl 6 in a day but then
                destroyed all evidence with his bare hands, so no one will
                know his secrets.

    -- Discussing the merits of documenting one's pet languages on
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
 <rindolf>  LeoNerd: I need to get a life.
 <LeoNerd>  They can be quite useful, but they do have a crazy amount of
            dependencies..
 <LeoNerd>  And sometimes they can be a bit unstable - I think they're
            still beta-testing

    -- Is a Life Ready for Prime Time
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
 <simcop2387>  Daveman: i use a ZED PEE EM to power my computer, its the
               ultimate YOU PEE ES
            *  Daveman throws an Elisabeth at Simcop
    <rindolf>  Me catches the Elisabeth in mid-air.
   <SubStack>  with an s, excellent choice
    <Daveman>  :o
    <Daveman>  Interception!
    <rindolf>  Daveman: when my friend and I played Frisbee, we had an
               intra-tree move.
            *  SubStack pirates Elisabeth and seeds a torrent
    <rindolf>  Which was unintended.
    <rindolf>  Elisabeth: are you here?
    <Daveman>  HAHAHAHHA
    <Daveman>  Substack++
            *  SubStack wins at life.
    <rindolf>  An Elisabeth for all! And all for an Elisabeth.

    -- #perl for Elisabeth
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
  <Alexi5>  what is a good book for getting up to speed with perl?
  <merlyn>  learning perl!
  <merlyn>  intermediate perl!
 <nachos_>  the camel is the _only book_
 <nachos_>  :-P
         *  merlyn bats nachos silly
 <nachos_>  :-(
 <rindolf>  Alexi5: there's also Beginning Perl, which is available
            online.
         *  f00li5h saw that coming
 <rindolf>  You should learn Perl from "Learning Perl in 24 minutes
            Unleashed!"
 <f00li5h>  rindolf: ``Learning perl in 24 minutes Unleashed, in a
            nutshell for dummies'' is the one i have
 <rindolf>  f00li5h: that's even better.

    -- Books for Learning Perl
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
        <rindolf>  Are you using Firefox?
 <Imaginativeone>  yeah...
        <rindolf>  Interesting...
        <rindolf>  Don't know.
          <[x86]>  use a real browser... you know... like IE!
                *  [x86] runs
           <infi>  IE 3 > *
        <rindolf>  IE 2 > *
           <infi>  gopher!
           <infi>  firefox can actually do gopher URLs
        <rindolf>  GNU info!
           <infi>  feh.

    -- Vintage Hypertext
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
  <rindolf>  ofer0: what's up?
    <ofer0>  rindolf, nothing much. what's with you?
  <rindolf>  ofer0: I restored my fonts to my nouveau-enabled X server.
 <jagerman>  What is nouveau?
    <ofer0>  jagerman, "new" in french ?
 <jagerman>  Yes, I know it's a word, but what is the nouveau rindolf is
             talking about?
    <ofer0>  I have no idea. rindolf ?
  <rindolf>  jagerman, ofer0: it's the free-as-in-speech Nvidia drivers.
      <dmq>  jagerman++ (Yes i know its a word).
 <pkrumins>  free as in freedom
   <nainef>  free as in richard stallman?
    <ofer0>  free as in free Microsoft Windows Vista CDs
   <nainef>  lol
 <pkrumins>  vista--
    <ofer0>  "What do you mean? Windows XP isn't free?" -- My neighbour.
   <Ikarus>  ofer0: sounds familiar
    <ofer0>  (when telling him that I can't format his hard-drive and
             re-install XP because he doesn't own a license)

    -- Free as in what?
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
  <rindolf>  This reminds me of a fun discussion I had with my co-worker.
  <rindolf>  He had a Firefox window open with an ActiveState page and I
             read "Perl, PHP, Python, Tcl, XSLT".
  <rindolf>  So he said: "Heresy! C is the only language."
  <rindolf>  So I thought for a moment and said "Intercal is the only
             language."
 <nanonyme>  lol
  <rindolf>  And then "Real men write in Intercal."
  <rindolf>  "COME FROM" anyone?

    -- The Only Programming Language
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
 <rindolf>  mortal5: you need to print the header.
 <rindolf>  mortal5: print header()
 <mortal5>  rindolf, ...I absolutely love it when my textbook leads me
            wrong..
 <rindolf>  mortal5: what is your textbook?
 <mortal5>  "web wizards guide to perl and cgi"
 <mortal5>  lol
 <mortal5>  only the finest for the students at my university
     <buu>  Hahaha
     <buu>  That's awesome.
  <cfedde>  Is this what we're teacing these days? Oh my.
  <somian>  Blows the mind, doesn't it cfedde!
  <cfedde>  somian: it does.
  <cfedde>  I suppose that I'm commenting out of context. but why the mix
            and match.
    <f3ew>  What mind?
  <cfedde>  yours, with this .48
         *  somian sends in CSI las vegas to clean up
 <rindolf>  mortal5: what is your university?
 <mortal5>  rindolf, I'm too ashamed to tell :p
 <rindolf>  mortal5: heh.
 <rindolf>  mortal5: is it bad?
 <mortal5>  rindolf, no not really, we have a fairly well known cs dept
  <somian>  Just so long as it isn't SUNY@BUFFALO
 <mortal5>  it's just the teacher i'm using, she's a total flake

    -- Misleading Textbooks about Perl
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
              *  CPAN rating: Net-DNS-Check rated 4 stars by Ævar Arnfjörð
                 Bjarmason
      <rindolf>  Oooh! avar has rated a module.
    <somian^{}>  avar! WHAT ARE YOU DOING rating CPAN modules!?! Do you
                 really think you are QUALIFIED to be doing that!?! ;-P
              *  avar dongs somian^{}
              *  somian^{} laughs
         <avar>  somian^{}: I'M A PROFESSIONAL PERL PROGRAMMER
         <avar>  I know PERL
    <somian^{}>  But can u mAke teh weB with teh PERL!?
 <Earle_Martin>  avar: I know DONGS
         <avar>  Earle_Martin: SHOW ME
         <avar>  Earle_Martin: Don't you mean DONG foo?
              *  somian^{} has a silly grin on his face as he decends the
                 stairs to make some fresh coffee
         <avar>  somian^{}: I maek teh web really well with PERL
 <Earle_Martin>  /DCC MATRIX avar
         <avar>  Earle_Martin: IT'S SO LARGE AND HARD!
 <Earle_Martin>  avar: You think that's milk you're drinking?
         <f3ew>  heh]
         <avar>  I was wondering why it was so delcicious
         <avar>  "I can't belive it's not jizz"
         <f3ew>  Take the red pill
   <rfordinal_>  blue!
 <Earle_Martin>  I know PERL: Programmer's Elite Robotic Language
              *  avar goes back to work
     <Shadow42>  I wonder what would happen if Neo was colorblind and took
                 the wrong pill.
 <Earle_Martin>  10 DO ROBOT DANCE
 <Earle_Martin>  20 GOTO 10
         <avar>  which doesn't involving discussing dongs in great detail,
                 unfortunately
 <Earle_Martin>  avar: the real world sucks

    -- Perl and Dongs on Freenode's #perl
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
    <polak>  mauke: so how does that "translate" into eng
   <merlyn>  "eng"?
    <mauke>  I spe eng goo
  <rindolf>  mauke: I spe eng wel
  <rindolf>  I spe goo eng
      <sts>  just a short question. besides personal preference is there
             any difference if you use if(! or unless(?
  <rindolf>  sts: no.
  <rindolf>  sts: they do the same thing.
    <Botje>  sts: pfft. Real Men(tm) use unless(!...)
  <rindolf>  Botje: heh.
      <sts>  lol unless(! makes sense. thanks Botje, i'll rather use this
             one. =D
  <LeoNerd>  For me it's a readability thing - I express what seems more
             likely
  <rindolf>  Botje: File::HomeDir used to have a triple or quadruple
             negative in one of its test files.
    <Botje>  unless(! $str !~ /(?!foo)/)
  <rindolf>  Botje: heh
   <merlyn>  whoa
   <merlyn>  unless (!) makes no sense to me at all
    <Botje>  of course not.
      <sts>  Botje: wow!
    <Botje>  it's still cool to confuse people with :]
  <LeoNerd>  Heh.. Should just use !!! in there anywa y:)
   <merlyn>  it's 7 characters too many
     <xand>  some people don't understand double negatives
   <merlyn>  I don't want no complaints!
    <Botje>  xand: you mean don't not understnad?
  <LeoNerd>  We don't know nobody who don't want no double-negatives
      <sts>  Botje: what does (?!foo) do?
 <nanonyme>  lol
     <xand>  Botje: don't not misunderstand
    <mauke>  Botje: that always executes the block
   <merlyn>  there's an argument that can be successfully made that "I
             don't want no complaints" doesn't necessarily work logically
    <Botje>  xand: oh, I don't not think I didn't not misunderstand you.
    <Botje>  mauke: I know. it just looks cool.
    <mauke>  and you want !($str !~ /.../)
     <xand>  don't you?#
   <merlyn>  so it might actually mean what people think they're meaning

    -- N-uple negative on Freenode's #perl
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
   <Yaakov>  LINUX < WINDOWS XP
  <rindolf>  Yaakov: Linux ">" x Inf Windows XP
  <rindolf>  Yaakov: DOS > Linux
  <rindolf>  Yaakov: CTSS > Linux
  <rindolf>  Yaakov: TOPS-10 > Linux
  <rindolf>  Multics > Linux
  <rindolf>  Multics > *
  <rindolf>  I think I'll stop.
 <Supaplex>  I think I'll /clear
    <Kobaz>  CP/M > *
  <rindolf>  Kobaz: heh!
  <rindolf>  Kobaz++
    <Kobaz>  Heh.
    <Kobaz>  CP/M was teh sexy.
    <Kobaz>  How much more of an OS do you really need?
    <Kobaz>  I still have my Apple II sitting in the corner.

    -- My Operating System is Better than Yours
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
  <rindolf>  Mahmoud: what's up?
  <Mahmoud>  rindolf, writing a CMS from scratch with perl.. really cool,
             making my own template engine
  <rindolf>  Mahmoud: why???
  <rindolf>  Mahmoud: use TT2.
  <rindolf>  Or whatever.
  <Mahmoud>  rindolf, i dislike other CMS engines.. they are bloated and i
             don't trust them
  <rindolf>  Mahmoud: TT2 is pure perl.
          *  Mahmoud looks for TT2
  <rindolf>  Mahmoud: a CMS doesn't stay simple forever.
  <rindolf>  Mahmoud: and a CMS != Templating system.
  <Mahmoud>  rindolf, the template engine is quite simple, it's similar to
             how SimpleMachines forum does its templates
  <Mahmoud>  rindolf, just an external file with print 'foo'; commands
 <amnesiac>  Mahmoud, TT2 is very powerful
 <amnesiac>  Mahmoud, there are more templating systems, why not use any
             ofo the existing ones?
  <rindolf>  Mahmoud: please don't re-invent square wheels.
  <Mahmoud>  heh..
  <NOTevil>  oval!
          *  amnesiac likes hexagonal wheels
  <NOTevil>  very small octagon wheels aren't too bad.
  <rindolf>  amnesiac: triangular wheels are the best!
   <Shaine>  i like star shaped wheels :/

    -- On the Many Types of Wheels
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
  <ferret>  LeoNerd: That was one of the first blobs of Java I wrote, it's
            allowed to be even more verbose and convoluted than Java
            normally is. ;P
 <rindolf>  ferret: link?
  <ferret>  /las Cat.java
 <rindolf>  ferret: an implementation of the UNIX "cat" program in Java??
  <ferret>  Actually, specifically the GNU cat program, and only a subset
            thereof.
 <rindolf>  ferret: oh.
 <rindolf>  ferret: how many lines did it take?
         *  f00li5h heads off to #codegolf and tries to convince them to
            allow java submissions
  <ferret>  rindolf: It's mostly argument parser.
 <rindolf>  ferret: I once implemented a parser for a subset of the Bourne
            Shell args, in really hideous ANSI C.
 <rindolf>  f00li5h: good luck.
 <rindolf>  f00li5h: Java Golf...
 <f00li5h>  yeah, for sure!
 <rindolf>  Java Golf would be longer than a non-Golfed Perl program.
 <f00li5h>  rindolf: this is true
 <rindolf>  f00li5h: COBOL Golf!

    -- The Pyramid of Code Golf
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
        <pasteling>  "struggling intern" at 129.162.1.31 pasted "Here it
                     is.." (220 lines, 5.7K) at http://sial.org/pbot/25279
 <strugglingintern>  woohoo
 <strugglingintern>  there it goes...
          <rindolf>  strugglingintern: oh my god!
          <rindolf>  strugglingintern: this code looks really bad.
 <strugglingintern>  heh...
          <rindolf>  strugglingintern: if ($records eq 0 ) - don't you
                     want ($records == 0)?
          <rindolf>  strugglingintern: do you have unit tests?
          <rindolf>  strugglingintern: and you should factor it better.
          <rindolf>  strugglingintern: and possibly use Template Toolkit
                     or something.
          <rindolf>  strugglingintern: and you may have some
                     HTML-injection (or XSS) problems.
            <Ani-_>  rindolf: and probably SQL injection problems.
          <rindolf>  Ani-_: indeed!
 <strugglingintern>  :-/
            <Ani-_>  strugglingintern: really, ask them to review that
                     code when they get back.
 <strugglingintern>  alright
 <strugglingintern>  I appreciate it anyway
          <rindolf>  strugglingintern: how long have you been programming
                     perl?
 <strugglingintern>  hah, about 3 months
 <strugglingintern>  This isn't all my code ;)
 <strugglingintern>  I'll look into it
 <strugglingintern>  Thanks guys (and gals).
          <rindolf>  strugglingintern: you're welcome.
 <strugglingintern>  not my choice ;)
 <strugglingintern>  it's my 3rd week here :)
          <rindolf>  Amazing how much more experienced programmers can
                     tell a code is bad from a quick glance.
          <rindolf>  It's a bit scary.
            <Ani-_>  nothing amazing about it. It's called skill. :)
           <The_SB>  yeh even I can tell it by a look
            <ology>  It's not scary or amazing at all.
            <ology>  It is called experience!
            <Ani-_>  rindolf: what do you find scary?
            <Ani-_>  rindolf: that experienced programmers can tell it? Or
                     the code itself?
            <Ani-_>  I would disagree on the first one but agree on the
                     later! :)
          <rindolf>  Ani-_: no, that I'm so experienced.
          <rindolf>  Ani-_: I hope I don't sound out as a snob.
            <ology>  narcissism is fun
          <rindolf>  I should get a life.
          <rindolf>  Get a girlfriend, go to movies.
          <rindolf>  Instead all I do is write Perl.
          <rindolf>  And chat about writing Perl.
           <Ikarus>  a life, tried that, didn't mix with me

    -- Scary Perl Expertise
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
 <rindolf>  Let me wikipedia it.
 <f00li5h>  so now wikipedia is a verb?
 <rindolf>  f00li5h: it's gonna enter the OED.
 <rindolf>  f00li5h: in English every verb can be nounified and every noun
            can be verbed.
 <rindolf>  f00li5h: google is now a verb too.
 <f00li5h>  rindolf: q{ just one second and i'll "computer" it up for
            you"}
 <rindolf>  f00li5h: LOL.
 <rindolf>  f00li5h++
         *  rindolf f00li5hes jql
 <rindolf>  I'm rindolfed
         *  f00li5h finds it odd that irssi hilighted half of that word
 <rindolf>  f00li5h: it's much harder to do it in Hebrew.
     <jql>  computer is from the verb compute already
 <rindolf>  jql: there's computerise though.
 <f00li5h>  jql: but to computer something is different than computing it
 <f00li5h>  COMPUTIFY!
 <rindolf>  jql: I once thought that the study of Objectivity is
            Objectivism.
 <f00li5h>  "configurated"
     <jql>  you shouldn't noun up a verb that's been nouned already
 <rindolf>  And the study of Objectivism is Objectivistalism.
  <Caelum>  heh
 <rindolf>  And that study of that is Objectvisitalistalism.
 <rindolf>  And to infinity it's Objectivist-elementalism!
 <f00li5h>  eval: object .((ism)x100)
  <buubot>  f00li5h:
            objectismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismism
            ismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismism
            ismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismi
 <rindolf>  With apologies to the 4 people who ever spoke Latin correctly.
     <jql>  I can't help but read that as smi smi smi
  <Caelum>  me too
 <rindolf>  jql: reminds me of Peter Pan.

    -- (Human) Language Fun on Freenode's #perl
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
       <dkr>  I use nedit, the only app with a quadruple-click feature
    <naquad>  wtf is quadruple-click??? %-/
       <dkr>  double-click selects a word, triple-click selects a line,
              quadruple-click select the whole document. heh :)
 <Patterner>  quintuple-click selects the whole harddisk
   <rindolf>  hexuple-click selects the entire Intranet.
   <rindolf>  And septapable-click selects the entire Internet
 <Patterner>  How many for the multiverse?
    <naquad>  people, who uses what editor?
       <arw>  octaple click selects the known universe and nonaple the
              rest too.
   <rindolf>  arw: how long does it takes these clicks to run?
   <rindolf>  I think it's super-exponential complexity.
       <arw>  rindolf: no matter, the universe is finite :)
       <arw>  rindolf: only problem is, the information about your
              clicking will never reach the entire universe as it expands
              ;)

    -- How many clicks must a one man do, before he selects what he wants?
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
           *  reflexive huzzahs. His Perl books just arrived.
   <apeiron>  reflexive, Which?
 <reflexive>  apeiron: IP and PBP. A couple others are still in transit.
   <apeiron>  reflexive, Nice. :)
 <reflexive>  :)
   <rindolf>  reflexive: what is IP?
 <reflexive>  Intermediate Perl.
   <rindolf>  reflexive: oh, OK.
   <rindolf>  Intellectual Perl.
   <rindolf>  Internet Perl.
    <kojiro>  Invasive Perl
    <kspath>  Idiot Perl
   <rindolf>  Interactive Perl.
   <rindolf>  I, Perl.
    <kojiro>  Implementing Pies
    <kojiro>  mmm, pie
   <rindolf>  Improbably Perl
    <kspath>  Ignoble Perl
    <kojiro>  Probably Inverted
   <rindolf>  kojiro: :-)
    <kspath>  Improper Perl
 <reflexive>  Insidious Perl?
       <mst>  ALL PERL IS IMPROPER
    <kojiro>  API?
   <rindolf>  In Soviet Russia all improper is Perl.
   <rindolf>  APII.
      <qrck>  impudent perl
    <kojiro>  no, you never count words like "is"
    <kspath>  Incoherent Perl
    <kojiro>  ALL PERL IS INCOHERENT
 <reflexive>  So true.

    -- The Meaning of "I".
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
        <dkr>  which is that ACME:: filter that obfusctaes all your source
               into whitespace? :)
  <preaction>  Acme::Bleach
    <rindolf>  dkr: as preaction said it is Acme::Bleach.
        <dkr>  moderation -1 Redundant
            *  dkr smirks
        <nws>  get out you slashdotter
        <nws>  jk
        <dkr>  I got moderated overrated yesterday. I felt so loved
        <dkr>  GumbyGumby: how often do you post to /.?
 <GumbyGumby>  dkr: do it to system() a ssh command. Is doing that often.
    <rindolf>  GumbyBRAIN: how often do you post dkr to Slashdot?
 <GumbyBRAIN>  do it to list.

    -- Got the Slashdot?
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
 <WebDragon>  y'all should spell it in uppercase it being an acronym and
              all
  <reaction>  Yes, but we're *lazy*!
           *  WebDragon *so* noticed ;)
       <dkr>  WebDragon: people that use CamelCase have no right to
              criticize about capitalization. :)
 <WebDragon>  dkr: I hate underscores
           *  dkr contemplates a source code filter that does lets you use
              spaces in var names by switch them to underscores at compile
              time
 <preaction>  black magic
       <mst>  dkr: source filters are evil.
       <mst>  dkr: in a bad way.
       <mst>  dkr: hacking the compiler is much more fun, and evil in a
              useful way :)
       <mst>  WebDragon: recommended perl style is $var_name
       <mst>  WebDragon: it's also more readable than $varName or $VarName
       <mst>  WebDragon: I'd recommend trying it for at least a month
       <mst>  WebDragon: also note that it'll make life easier because
              you'll be consistent with the rest of perl code
 <WebDragon>  mst: I was thinking more along the lines of filenames and
              irc nicknames than perl variables
       <mst>  WebDragon: ah. fair enough :)
           *  WebDragon doesn't use camelcase for perlvars
       <mst>  WebDragon: then I shall cease complaining :)
      <avar>  ${"Insert a descriptive essay about the variable here"}
 <WebDragon>  rofl
   <rindolf>  avar: that won't work with 'use strict 'refs''
 <WebDragon>  avar: I've seen things like that in RL and had recurring
              nightmares about them when I saw similar and sometimes worse
              things on thedailywtf.com
       <mst>  rindolf: ${main::}{"Insert a descriptive essay about the
              variable here"} would :)
       <mst>  rindolf: or you could just use %_ :)
       <dkr>  my boss still occasionally uses vars like $x. still trying
              to beat that behavior out of him
           *  WebDragon only uses x|y|z for cartesian coordinate math
 <WebDragon>  which, since I hardly ever do any of that, means the obvious

    -- What's in a variable name?
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
   <mofino>  watched the Fountain
   <mofino>  pretty cool'
 <q[ender]>  yep
     <sili>  what?
     <sili>  you think The Fountain was cool?
     <sili>  it was pretty artsy.
     <sili>  I don't understand the necessity of repeating that same scene
             50k times, though.
   <mofino>  then you didn't get the movie
  <rindolf>  sili: if you repeat a scene 50k times, then the movie will
             have less entropy and will compress better.

    -- Watched the fountain on Freenode's #perlcafe
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
  <convivial>  high-rez, but I don't know enough to help you because I am
               a newbie to perl programming and although I am in deep luv
               with perl and planning on marrying perl, I still have a lot
               to learn.
    <rindolf>  convivial: you can only marry Perl if polygamy is legal
               where you live.
    <rindolf>  convivial: because Perl and I are already married. :-D
  <convivial>  why is that? i'm single :)
    <rindolf>  convivial: but Perl isn't.
  <convivial>  oh crap !
  <convivial>  all the good languages are already married :(
    <rindolf>  convivial: COBOL is still single.
    <rindolf>  convivial: but I heard she's a total bitch.
  <convivial>  ewwwwwwwwwwww, so is JCL and no one is knocking down either
               of their doors
  <convivial>  rindolf, janet reno is single!
    <rindolf>  convivial: what kind of programming language is "Janet
               Reno"?
  <convivial>  :)
  <convivial>  she is a person
    <rindolf>  convivial: I'm not interested in people, I'm only
               interested in programming languages.
 <shaldannon>  rindolf: you should try Ada
    <rindolf>  shaldannon: Ada 95?
 <shaldannon>  yeah
 <shaldannon>  the syntax of Pascal, the power of Basic and the
               friendliness of Java

    -- Commiting yourself to a programming language on Freenode's #perl.
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
            *  shaldannon beats iank over the head with an encyclopedia
    <rindolf>  shaldannon: all volumes of an encyclopedia?
        <dwu>  rindolf: ha
 <shaldannon>  rindolf: every last one of 'em
    <rindolf>  shaldannon: or perhaps a printout of the Wikipedia?
       <iank>  rindolf: the whole bookcase
    <rindolf>  shaldannon: which Encyclopedia?
       <iank>  rindolf: naw, just get the DVD :)
 <shaldannon>  rindolf: I couldn't lift that
 <shaldannon>  rindolf: Britanica
       <iank>  You could lift the DVD!
        <dwu>  shaldannon: Start. Working. Out.
 <shaldannon>  dwu: oh?
        <dwu>  shaldannon: Dude, being able to lift the Britannica is hot.
            *  iank -> the internet
 <shaldannon>  :-}
        <dwu>  Seriously.
        <dwu>  "I can hold the accepted knowledge of a percentage of the
               human race in my arms!" "Oh, god, that is so sexy."
 <shaldannon>  hahahaha
        <dwu>  Seriously. Smart is hot. Smart and funny... well.
            *  shaldannon is hillarious ;)
        <dwu>  Uhm. kay.
    <rindolf>  If you start reading the wikipedia lexicographically, will
               you ever finish at the rate articles are added there?
  <tarrybone>  rindolf: yes (citation needed)
        <dwu>  ha
 <shaldannon>  lol @ tarrybone
        <dwu>  tarrybone++
    <rindolf>  This reminds me of James Bond 1, where the girl there read
               an encyclopedia, instead of going to school.
     <yrlnry>  Does anyone near Philadelphia want to come to my house and
               take away my 1920 Britannica?
 <shaldannon>  rindolf: hey...when I was in elementary school, I used to
               read the World Book encyclopedia instead of doing my
               homework

    -- Commiting yourself to a programming language on Freenode's #perl.
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
      <dwave>  anyone envy me? i'm refactoring production code that uses
               the fact that "" is defined, as a hash key.
      <dwave>  if (ref $ref->{""} ne "ARRAY") {
      <dwave>  $ref->{""} = [$ref->{""},$_];
      <dwave>  } else {
      <dwave>  $ref->{""} = [@{$ref->{""}},$_];
      <dwave>  }
      <dwave>  :(
       <iank>  hey, that looks like fun.
   <integral>  Has the author been lynched yet?
            *  integral would have used "\0" :-P
      <dwave>  the best of it all, is that it's an XML parser
      <mauke>  $ref->{""} = [ref $ref->{""} eq "ARRAY" ? @{$ref->{""}} :
               $ref->{""}, $_]; # fixed
    <rindolf>  dwave: does this XML parser makes use of an existing XML
               parser from CPAN?
    <rindolf>  dwave: or does it do everything from scratch?
      <dwave>  rindolf: everything from scratch :)
    <rindolf>  dwave: nice!
      <dwave>  i'm trying to get rid of it
    <rindolf>  dwave: re-inventing square wheels.
      <dwave>  there's a home made unicode lib too
      <dwave>  !
    <rindolf>  dwave: ouch!
 <shaldannon>  nice
       <iank>  Brilliant!
 <shaldannon>  dwave: I suggest a dailywtf.com submission
    <rindolf>  dwave: yeah, I second shaldannon

    -- Production WTF Code on #perl
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
  <bp31416>  rindolf: I command you both, to uninstall it, and install
             SuSE10.2 =P
 <jagerman>  "versions" are so annoying.
 <jagerman>  "I use Linux 10.2!"
     <iank>  jagerman: I had a friend who insisted the answer to the
             question "What version of the kernel are you running?" was
             "gnome".
 <jagerman>  eval: $POE::Kernel::VERSION
   <buubot>  jagerman: 1.2173
 <jagerman>  \o/
 <Terminus>  heh, a friend of mine only remembers me running ximian a few
             years ago and he keeps on asking me, "why don't you run
             ximian again?" where ximian == OS for him.
  <bp31416>  jagerman: could be worse lingo-wise, in tech-support many
             folks asking on Q about 'THEIR internet' isn't working, or
             'does it have internet installed?', I .....like.... sir....
             when did you manage to buy the internet in whole? .......
             ahhhh... the internet is not a socket you plug in any of the
             ports sir

    -- Versions of Software
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
  <rindolf>  "We're doing XP [= Extreme Programming] here, so you need to
             know Ruby, you need to know Design Patterns and you need to
             know Refactoring."
  <rindolf>  XP may have become a religion.
     <ew73>  I Refactored yesterday!
  <rindolf>  ew73: using which refactoring pattern?
     <ew73>  Leviticus 13:22
    <Somni>  well you will keep refactoring until you get it right!
          *  rindolf extracts the ew73 method.
  <rindolf>  ew73: this is one of my favourite refactoring patterns.
          *  ew73 idly looks up said passage, just to see if it's any
             good.
 <integral>  What do you have to know to claim you know refactoring?
 <integral>  How to click buttons in the right Eclipse menu?
  <rindolf>  integral: the code is in Ruby.
 <integral>  Ruby is too cool to be in Eclipse?
     <ew73>  integral: One time, I moved all this stuff to another
             subroutine!
     <ew73>  Lev. 13:22. And if it spread, he shall judge him to have the
             leprosy:
  <rindolf>  integral: no, but you cannot refactor Ruby code automatically
             using Eclipse.
 <integral>  One time I wrote all this code, but when I was about to go
             home I found I'd left my brain at home! LOLZ
 <integral>  ew73: good butter advert in that

    -- Extreme Programming as a Religion
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
 <rindolf>  Hi all.
 <rindolf>  LeoNerd: here?
 <LeoNerd>  rindolf: Maybe
 <rindolf>  LeoNerd: "be here or be not here - there is no maybe"
 <LeoNerd>  :)
 <rindolf>  LeoNerd: a.k.a the law of the exclusion of the middle.
     <dwu>  I think Yoda phrased that one best.

    -- To be here or not to be here on Freenode's #perl
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
  <perlmonkey>  thats just...mental
     <rindolf>  perlmonkey2: still here?
 <perlmonkey2>  rindolf: hi
     <rindolf>  perlmonkey2: hi.
  <perlmonkey>  phew
     <rindolf>  perlmonkey2: now we have two Perl monkeys.
 <perlmonkey2>  hah
 <perlmonkey2>  good stuff
 <perlmonkey2>  You can never have too many.
  <PeaceNLove>  To produce good stuff like Shakespeare's works, we need an
                infinite number of monkeys
  <perlmonkey>  we're starting a monkey clan
     <rindolf>  PeaceNLove: heh.
     <rindolf>  PeaceNLove: and to write like a monkey we need a million
                Shakespeares.
  <PeaceNLove>  perlmonkey, reproduce and multiply, God be with you
 <perlmonkey2>  PeaceNLove: You can, of course, do anything with an
                infinite number of perl monkeys.
 <perlmonkey2>  PeaceNLove: Actually a million monkeys on a million
                typewriters would most probably have not created Hamlet if
                they started at the beginning of the Universe.
  <PeaceNLove>  perlmonkey2, that's fine, the Universe has not ended yet,
                they have time

    -- Monkey Business at Freenode's #perl
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
 <rindolf>  sarnold: you go to OGI?
 <sarnold>  rindolf: no; but my boss and a co-worker are professors there,
            and other co-workers earned degrees there..
 <rindolf>  sarnold: OK.
    <muli>  sarnold, have you got one of those pesky things?
 <sarnold>  muli: just Bachelor of Arts .. no Masters or Ph.D...
 <rindolf>  sarnold: B.Sc or B.A.?
    <muli>  rindolf, Bachelor of Arts is B.A.
 <rindolf>  muli: I know. But I was just checking.
 <sarnold>  rindolf: ah, you're right, B.Sc.. I chickened out on the
            language requirements :)
 <rindolf>  muli: see?? LOL.
    <muli>  rindolf, sometimes, two bugs cancel each other.
 <rindolf>  muli: wisely spoken.
 <rindolf>  But mine wasn't a bug - it was a sanity check.

    -- Not a bug
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
  <rindolf>  Hmmm... xchat-perl is gone.
  <f00li5h>  OH NOES! ## what's that for then?
  <rindolf>  Who you're gonna call? Bug-busters!!
 <Khisanth>  rindolf: never existed, unless you are using an rpm based
             system
  <rindolf>  Khisanth: I am.
  <f00li5h>  I AINT AFRAID OF NO BUG!
  <rindolf>  f00li5h: heh.
  <f00li5h>  when there's something wierd and in your code base, who you
             gonna call?
 <railbait>  f00li5h: The police?
  <f00li5h>  railbait: BUG BUSTERS!
  <f00li5h>  we test it with science then blow it up
  <f00li5h>  ... or is that someone else

    -- Who you're gonna call?
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
      <Hazard>  How do I look up @- in the perldocs?
     <rindolf>  Hazard: perldoc perlvar
      <Hazard>  rindolf: Thanks.
     <Daveman>  perldoc rindolf
      <Hazard>  I don't know what I'd do without IRC.
     <rindolf>  Daveman: I am not a pragma! I'm a free man!
      <Hazard>  I couldn't even google that.
     <rindolf>  use Daveman (qw(silliness));
             *  jetscreamer sends rindolf back to the village
     <rindolf>  jetscreamer: is it a Perlisoner village where everyone
                becomes a pragma?
 <jetscreamer>  and lots of perlBalloons
     <Daveman>  gumbybrain, how do i make teh web wit shlomi!?
     <rindolf>  jetscreamer: Perloons.
     <rindolf>  jetscreamer: Perlunatics.
     <apeiron>  Perlarks.
     <Daveman>  perlaugh

    -- Tribute to the Prisoner
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
     <ubajas>  Technically, my first language was Turbo Pascal, but I
               started over with Perl 10 years later (not having
               programmed in the meantime). I'm obviously damaged goods.
       <iank>  ubajas: heh, I read that as "I started with (perl 10)
               (years later)" instead of "I started with perl (10 years
               later)" :)
    <rindolf>  Perl 10!
    <rindolf>  Perl for the Fourth Millenium.
   <jagerman>  I thought Perl 6 was supposed to be timeless
     <ubajas>  iank: Maybe I should have added a comma. :-]
   <jagerman>  Perl ∞
       <iank>  perl6 has existed since the beginning of time, or at least
               it will have existed since then once $Larry finds a time
               machine.
 <simcop2387>  iank: i'm sorry but larry is the prophet i am the
               messanger! i will be the one to take it back!
       <iank>  WHAT.
 <simcop2387>  iank: its MY TIME MACHINE!
            *  iank smacks simcop2387 around
   <jagerman>  iank: So it'll be like that Star Trek episode, where they
               say that the development of computers are caused by time
               travel from the future?
   <jagerman>  Except that they were too stupid (like most Voyager
               writers) to get their facts right, and thought computers
               started in the 70s

    -- The Messiah of Perl
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
 <milardovich>  with strict it say me this:
 <milardovich>  Global symbol "$lorem" requires explicit package name at
                split.pl line 3.
     <rindolf>  milardovich: use "my $lorem = "
     <rindolf>  milardovich: my is your friend.
     <rindolf>  pun not intended.
     <rindolf>  my is my friend.
         <dwu>  Preferably with a real value after "= " ^.^
     <rindolf>  dwu: he already has that.
 <milardovich>  that works with my rindolf
 <milardovich>  thaks you!!!
     <rindolf>  milardovich: you're welcome.
 <milardovich>  :)
      <ubajas>  I wish I had a rindolf too. :-\
 <milardovich>  people here are "nicer" than on #php :P
     <rindolf>  ubajas: I'm mass-produced at Chines sweat-shops.
      <ubajas>  hehe
     <rindolf>  ubajas: they sell me for 30 bucks a piece.
     <rindolf>  milardovich: I've heard some horrible stories about ##php.
 <milardovich>  perl rulz x)
     <rindolf>  milardovich: what brings you to Perl?
  <simcop2387>  rindolf: #php apparantly
     <rindolf>  simcop2387: heh.
     <rindolf>  simcop2387++

    -- One rindolf Each on Freenode's #perl
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
    <rindolf>  cl1: what do you do at work?
        <cl1>  i write code :D
    <rindolf>  cl1: naturally.
    <rindolf>  cl1: to do what?
        <cl1>  right now at this contract, i'm working with .net, c#,
               asp.net and pl/sql
    <rindolf>  cl1: sounds enterprisey.
     <BinGOs>  please don't turn enterprise into a verb.
    <rindolf>  BinGOs: enterprisey is an adjective, not a verb.
    <LeoNerd>  Enterprizationaliseation?
     <BinGOs>  okay.
        <cl1>  lol @ enterprisey
    <rindolf>  GumbyBRAIN: BinGOs me!
 <GumbyBRAIN>  i tend to be good, it doesn't want me to buy an island
               utopia (you'll get used to bother me.
     <BinGOs>  But it is a noun and no more.
     <BinGOs>  mmmkay.
        <dwu>  BinGOs: Actually, it's also an adjective. Even without "y".
     <BinGOs>  I HATE YOU ALL.
            *  dwu grin
     <BinGOs>  CRITIQUE IS DEFINITELY A FUCKING NOUN.
        <dwu>  It's also a verb.
     <BinGOs>  NO IT ISN'T
 <simcop2387>  BinGOs: i shall critique your use of critique
     <BinGOs>  JUST BECAUSE SOME DAMNED YANKEE SCUM DECIDE IT IS, DOES NOT
               MAKE IT SO.
        <dwu>  It's been used since the 18th century.
    <rindolf>  BinGOs: dwued!
     <BinGOs>  I refer you to my earlier hate.
        <dwu>  I refer you to your fail.
       <icke>  not earlier than 18th century
        <dwu>  I really shouldn't. It's mean. But I will.
        <dwu>  Because I'm mean.
        <dwu>  icke: Hence "since".
        <dwu>  'criticises'.
     <BinGOs>  My fail-gun appears to firing backwards. Damn thing.
        <dwu>  Your fail gun is... failing?

    -- Are you being verbed on Freenode's #perl
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
      <shishirm1>  is pop3 module avaliable only in perl 5?
       <jernster>  are you saying you use something other than 5?
           <icke>  perl 4 didn't even have modules
       <jernster>  heh
        <rindolf>  shishirm1: do you want to use it with Perl 4?
      <shishirm1>  oh ok sorry i am comlete nooob!! so i am just asking
                   you guys
      <shishirm1>  nope is perl 5 a standard now?
       <jernster>  yes
      <shishirm1>  ok great...
       <jernster>  :)
        <rindolf>  shishirm1: Perl 4 is unmaintained, unloved, deprecated,
                   not recommended, and dead - D. E. D. - DEAD!
 <simcop2387-lap>  perl 4 is an EXPERL!
 <simcop2387-lap>  all statements that perl4 is a going concern are thus
                   inoperative.

    -- How much Perl do you need at Freenode's #perl
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
    <edeca>  Hrm. More infernal questions, mainly because I am trying to
             make my perl prettier and contain less nasty if's. I have
             $foo and $bar which are obtained from split(/ /, 'kitten
             loving'). But I don't want undef if the split fails, I'd
             rather '' for $bar or both. What's the nicest way to do that?
 <Khisanth>  ($foo, $bar) = map { $_ // "" } split / /, $str; # 5.10
             version :)
    <edeca>  Noo 5.10! :)
 <Khisanth>  ($foo, $bar) = map { defined $_ ? $_ : "" } split / /, $str;
             # probably some other shorter ways too
  <rindolf>  edeca: [bad idea] you can also try using the
             conditional->inheritance refactoring.
  <rindolf>  :-)
          *  Khisanth pours boiling coffee on rindolf
  <rindolf>  Khisanth: I hate coffee, but I guess I deserved it.
  <rindolf>  That was a joke, of course.
 <Khisanth>  you weren't really supposed to like having boiling anything
             poured on you but I guess you are into the kinkier stuff

    -- Conditional-to-Inheritance Refactoring on Freenode's #perl
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
 <rindolf>  rbastic: QBasic was the sh*t!
 <rindolf>  rbastic: well, not really.
 <rbastic>  rindolf: yup, that language is responsible for me having
            gotten into programming to begin with.
 <rbastic>  8 yrs old and writing qbasic scripts with QBasic for Dummies
            by my side
 <rindolf>  rbastic: I started when I was 10.
 <rindolf>  rbastic: I know some people who started much later.
  <talexb>  Late bloomer .. didn't start till I was 15.
  <Zoffix>  heh, I started at 14... I could not have a computer before
            that
 <rindolf>  rbastic: but I know a girl who started programming when she
            was 6.
 <rindolf>  Or was it 8?
  <Zoffix>  rindolf, CAN HAS PHONE NUMBER?!
 <rbastic>  lol
 <rindolf>  Zoffix: NO CAN!
  <Zoffix>  :(
 <rindolf>  Zoffix: only have her MSN.
  <Zoffix>  gimmegimmegimme
  <talexb>  Heh.
  <Zoffix>  :)
 <rindolf>  Zoffix: LOL.

    -- Geek Love
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
 <rbastic>  Juerd: eh in today's world of heavy JS on the clientside, i
            think it makes a little more sense to use the same lang.
            everywhere
   <Juerd>  rbastic: JS on the client side is because often it's the only
            option the universe provides.
 <rbastic>  Juerd: from a business perspective, you reduce the complexity
            and potential difficulties in finding new hires with the same
            skillset
 <rindolf>  rbastic: have you heard of RJS?
   <Juerd>  rbastic: On the server side, however, you have great freedom.
 <rbastic>  rindolf: no, what's that?
  <Caelum>  larry wants perl6 to run on javascript :)
 <rindolf>  rbastic: "One Language; and One Sayings".
   <Juerd>  rbastic: Exactly. I would never hire a server side programmer
            who knows *only* Javascript, and is too stupid to learn
            whatever we're using on the server side.
 <rindolf>  rbastic: my translation to a sentence from the Tower of Babel
            myth.
 <rbastic>  Juerd: i'll agree with that also. any real programmer knows or
            has at least coded in half a dozen languages before
   <Juerd>  From a business perspective, you should avoid crap coders at
            all cost.
   <Juerd>  Knows *or* has coded... Hmmm...!
 <rindolf>  rbastic: though according to what most scholars believe it was
            not about using one language but rather thinking the same.
   <Juerd>  I hope they haven't coded in half a dozen languages without
            knowing them.
   <Juerd>  That'd be scary.
   <zshzn>  Reality is scary, Juerd
  <talexb>  Hmm, BASIC, FORTRAN, COBOL, assembler, C, more assembler, C,
            Pascal ... Perl!

    -- The Grand Unified Programming Language
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
 <rindolf>  rbastic: now I'm working with C++.
 <rindolf>  rbastic: I found out that my project compiles really quickly.
 <rindolf>  rbastic: under 5 or 10 minutes on a P4-2.4GHz with 1 GB of
            RAM.
 <rindolf>  rbastic: maybe KDE is making g++ look bad.
 <rbastic>  rindolf: yeah, i'm not a big KDE fan
 <rindolf>  rbastic: actually I'm using KDE-3.5.8 here.
 <rindolf>  rbastic: I was talking about the compilation speed of KDE apps
            and KDE itself.
 <rindolf>  rbastic: possibly because each file has half-a-gazillion
            headers.
 <rindolf>  My C++ code is a server one, so we don't have too many deps.
 <rbastic>  yeah, isn't there a way to cache header files? ie. in their
            "compiled" form?
 <rbastic>  or is that something I'm remembering from some other
            programming language that purported to build on top of C?
 <rindolf>  rbastic: MSVC has that.
 <rbastic>  ahh, nods
 <rindolf>  rbastic: no, Visual C++ has precompiled headers.
 <rindolf>  rbastic: I remember that I kept deleting them.
 <rbastic>  yeah, couldn't remember
 <rbastic>  lol
 <rindolf>  Pascal compiles very quickly.
 <rindolf>  That's one of the things I enjoyed in Delphi.
 <rbastic>  ugh, the app i'm been maintaining in Java was originally a fat
            client/server desktop app, written in Delphi
 <rindolf>  rbastic: ah.
 <rbastic>  i remember booting up the old app for the first time, and
            being amazed at how slow it was
 <rbastic>  eventually, i had to duplicate a feature in the Java code and
            i wasn't sure how it was implemented before
 <rindolf>  rbastic: you mean the Java app is faster? :S
 <rbastic>  so being as i had no Delphi experience, and the newer Delphi
            environments made NO sense to me at all, i just opened up the
            SQL Server query analyzer
 <rbastic>  rindolf: yes, but only b/c the Delphi programmer was an idiot,
            issuing queries over and over again needlessly
 <rbastic>  rindolf: if you could've seen the MSSQL Performance Analyzer
            or whatever, it was basically just.. Query1, Query2, Query3,
            Query1, Query2, Query3, repeat.
 <rbastic>  it was probably the worst ive ever seen in my life.. belongs
            on www.thedailywtf.com

    -- Can I haz a fast compiler
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
  <rindolf>  scrottie: hi.
 <scrottie>  hi rindolf!
  <rindolf>  scrottie: are you the scrottie from use.perl.org?
 <scrottie>  yeah.
  <rindolf>  scrottie: ah, nice to meet you.
  <rindolf>  Well, chat with you on IRC at least.
          *  scrottie cowers from the swinging fist probably coming his
             way
  <rindolf>  scrottie: I'm "Shlomi%20Fish"
 <scrottie>  oh, heh, thanks
  <rindolf>  It's a curse.
 <scrottie>  hmm. i vaguely remember interesting stuff from you but can't
             honestly place what.
 <scrottie>  I know I've seen you around here before too.
  <rindolf>  Yeah, my use.perl.org blog is mostly technical and
             perl-related.
 <scrottie>  I post on use.perl.org entirely too much.
  <rindolf>  So it may be a bit boring.
  <rindolf>  Sometimes it's a bit philosophical.
  <rindolf>  scrottie: yes.
 <scrottie>  heh. and mine is offensively off-topic.
  <rindolf>  scrottie: I have other blogs.
 <scrottie>  I've posted to livejournal twice!

    -- I think too much - therefore I blog too much
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
    <rindolf>  Can we add styles like <b>, <i>, etc.?
    <rindolf>  Or colours?
    <rindolf>  Or blink?
    <rindolf>  Or images?
    <rindolf>  Or flash applets?
   <scrottie>  <banner>!
 <alanhaggai>  rindolf: No I think. Google's Web Application does not
               allow them. It is just a <textarea>.

    -- How intrusive do you want your text to be?
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
  <rindolf>  scrottie: you are a native English speaker right?
  <rindolf>  scrottie: do you know #linguistics ?
 <scrottie>  not familiar with #linguistics, yes, I am a native English
             speaker, but my spelling is atr... my spelling is terrible.
  <rindolf>  atrocious?
 <scrottie>  yeah, that
 <scrottie>  I have an xterm dedicated to dict/spell
  <rindolf>  scrottie: spelling is probably easy to fix using aspell.
  <rindolf>  scrottie: heh.
  <rindolf>  scrottie: I'm using xchat which has an red-line for spelling
             mistakes.
  <rindolf>  Very useful.
  <rindolf>  Too bad I'm using British spelling where it sometimes
             misbehaves.
  <rindolf>  aspell, I mean.

    -- Freenode's #pearl
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
 <rindolf>  A lot of ise's [in Aspell's British Spelling checker] are
            false positivies.
 <rindolf>  positives even.
 <rindolf>  People who say $minor_spelling_correction even, are lam.
 <rindolf>  lame even.
 <rindolf>  I never get tired of these self-referential jokes.

    -- Lame even
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
 <scrottie>  The tech side was there... but I was stuck with my fucking
             graphics I did in crayon. I kid you not. Crayon.
 <scrottie>  It was a cry for help.
 <scrottie>  Programmers will work with each other on fun projects, but
             graphic designers never get involved in stuff like that.
  <rindolf>  scrottie: ah.
 <scrottie>  then there's kingdomofloathing.com... stick figures.
  <rindolf>  scrottie: there are some graphic designers who contribute to
             KDE, GNOME, etc.
 <scrottie>  fuck graphic artists. we should round them all up and burn
             them.
  <rindolf>  scrottie: heh.
 <scrottie>  okay, they can live.
  <rindolf>  scrottie: scrotitler!
 <scrottie>  the rest get burnt though.
  <rindolf>  "He who starts by burning graphics desginers will end up
             burning programmers."
 <scrottie>  only the ASP and PHP programmers... then we'll see where
             things are at and re-evaluate the plan.
  <rindolf>  First they came to the graphics designers...
 <Khisanth>  then they came for more graphics designers
  <rindolf>  scrottie: I knew some very nice PHP programmers.
  <rindolf>  And VB ones.
 <scrottie>  yeah, me too. real shame.
  <rindolf>  scrottie: I still know some PHP programmers.

    -- The Third #perl Reich (on Freenode #perl).
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
        -->  B-rabbit has joined #perl
  <rindolf>  B-rabbit? I know a B-rat on #linguistics.
 <B-rabbit>  rindolf, cool =]
  <rindolf>  B-rabbit: ok.
 <B-rabbit>  my full name is bunny rabbit bt w :)
 <B-rabbit>  hehe
  <rindolf>  B-rabbit: ah.
  <rindolf>  B-rabbit: "bunny" is a female name.
 <B-rabbit>  lol
  <pippijn>  rindolf: correct
  <pippijn>  I know a bunny
  <rindolf>  Or a Playboy bunny.
       <ik>  rindolf: bunny is a stripper name
  <pippijn>  friends call her bun
       <ik>  pippijn: is she a stripper?
 <B-rabbit>  rindolf, i am a male lol x sorry to disappoint u
  <rindolf>  "IRC: Where men are men, women are men, and the kids are FBI
             agents."
  <rindolf>  B-rabbit: ok, no problem.
       <ik>  pippijn: she should change her name
  <pippijn>  ik: it doesn't hurt her
       <ik>  pippijn: right, but she's violating a fundamental law
       <ik>  pippijn: she either needs to change her name or become a
             stripper
  <rindolf>  ik: I think the other option is better.
  <pippijn>  ik: she'd probably become a stripper rather than changing her
             name
  <rindolf>  pippijn: LOL.
       <ik>  rindolf: yeah, but you're creepy
  <rindolf>  I think I'll make a fortune out of it.

    -- The Name "Bunny"
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
 <dazjorz>  Hi rindolf :)
 <rindolf>  Hi dazjorz
 <rindolf>  dazjorz: what's up?
 <rindolf>  dazjorz: No Tests for You?
 <rindolf>  No *more
 <dazjorz>  No more tests :)
 <rindolf>  dazjorz: No more tests for you!!! For three months!
 <rindolf>  dazjorz: nice!
 <dazjorz>  :D
 <dazjorz>  Two, I think

    -- The anti-School nazi
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
   <yrlnry>  Hi, I heard that Perl is just HTML with some sort of macro
             preprocessor attached. So I thought you would be the right
             people to ask about whether there is a way to make the
             submitted value on an <input type=submit> different from the
             visible label on the button.
   <yrlnry>  Thanks in advance.
          *  Roderick tars and feathers yrlnry.
   <yrlnry>  Hi, Roderick! How's the kid?
    <Somni>  you have been misinformed, sir; Perl is just a regex engine
             with named variables
   <ne2k__>  yrlnry: that is possibly one of the oddest questions I have
             ever heard
   <yrlnry>  ne2k__: What's odd about "How's the kid?"
   <yrlnry>  You need to get out more, seriously.
   <ne2k__>  yrlnry: I meant the original question
 <Roderick>  Congratulations, I hope it's going well.
   <yrlnry>  Do you know that Jewish folktale about the man who lives in a
             tiny hut with his wife and kids and they can't stand the
             crowding any more, so they go to the rabbi for advice, and
             the rabbit suggests that they bring the chickens, goat, and
             cow into the house too?
   <ne2k__>  yrlnry: not that it has anything to do with perl, but the
             <input> tag in HTML has both "name" and "value" attributes.
             the value is what gets shown in the browser typically.
   <yrlnry>  ne2k__: yes, and the value is also what is submitted when
             someone presses the button, but I want the displayed label to
             be different from what it submitted, as it is say with
             <option ...>

    -- yrlnry as a Perl newbie
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
      <mMish>  hi rind
    <rindolf>  Hi mMish
    <rindolf>  mMish: now you're mMish ?
    <rindolf>  mMish: are you eMish, oMish, aMish , etc?
      <mMish>  yes
    <rindolf>  mMish: ah, nice.
      <mMish>  depends on the mood
    <rindolf>  GumbyBRAIN: how many nicks must a one IRCer have?
 <GumbyBRAIN>  Oh, i lie, now it's stuck on posting things to do it. You
               said you couldn't have one of many.
    <rindolf>  mMish: ah OK.
    <rindolf>  xMish
    <rindolf>  iMish
    <rindolf>  zMish
    <rindolf>  Like the IBM computers.
    <rindolf>  pMish
      <mMish>  ppszMish <--- HUngarian
    <rindolf>  mMish: LOL.
    <rindolf>  lpstrMish
    <dazjorz>  is lpstr a function?
    <dazjorz>  get_magic_quotes_gpcMish
    <rindolf>  dazjorz: no, Long Pointer to string.
    <dazjorz>  PHP++ :')
    <rindolf>  dazjorz: why?
    <rindolf>  perlbot: karma PHP
    <perlbot>  Karma for PHP: -147
    <LeoNerd>  It takes some nerve to say "PHP++" in #perl :P
    <dazjorz>  rindolf: because they have get_magic_quotes_gpc!
    <dazjorz>  don't we all love get_magic_quotes_gpc!
    <rindolf>  dazjorz: oh.
    <dazjorz>  it's a function
    <rindolf>  dazjorz: love, hate - what's the difference.
    <rindolf>  dazjorz: that does what?
    <dazjorz>  to get the value of magic_quotes_gpc in the config file.
    <rindolf>  dazjorz: ah.
    <dazjorz>  so they have get_magic_quotes_gpc for
               get_ini('magic_quotes_gpc')
    <rindolf>  dazjorz: LOL.
    <dazjorz>  plus, there's the magic_quotes_gpc to escape all input a
               script gets via POST, GET and COOKIE.
    <rindolf>  dazjorz: yes, sounds Evil.
    <rindolf>  Just use placeholders.

    -- Which Prefix do you Want today?
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
      <krang>  Hey all, what's the best way to call one perl script from
               another? I was thinking I'd just use 'system("script.pl");'
    <dazjorz>  krang: yeah, that, or do "script.pl"
    <dazjorz>  krang: depends on how seperated you want them to be
      <krang>  dazjorz: you mean just a line that has "script.pl"; written
               on it?
   <Khisanth>  you need the do as well
    <dazjorz>  krang: no, exactly this: do "script.pl";
    <rindolf>  krang: system is usually what you want.
    <rindolf>  krang: normally require or use are preferable to do
    <dazjorz>  rindolf: that's for modules, isn't it ?
    <rindolf>  dazjorz: yes.
    <dazjorz>  wait, I think require "script.pl" would work too
    <rindolf>  dazjorz: and doing code is not such a good idea.
    <dazjorz>  rindolf: hmm?
      <krang>  rindolf: what is doing anyway?
    <rindolf>  dazjorz: I mean "perldoc -f do"-ing code.
    <rindolf>  krang: do()-ing
    <rindolf>  krang: it reads the file and evaluates it.
    <rindolf>  krang: perldoc -f do.
    <dazjorz>  rindolf: ah
    <dazjorz>  rindolf: do {}
            *  rindolf would rather be doing hot models than doing code.
               :-)
    <dazjorz>  rindolf: yeah, do BLOCK is quite useless
    <dazjorz>  heh
    <rindolf>  dazjorz: you can do my $var = do { ... }
            *  dazjorz would rather be doing GumbyBRAIN than doing code
 <GumbyBRAIN>  and doing code is not be in the days of immortality!
    <rindolf>  dazjorz: or eval { ... }
    <rindolf>  dazjorz: heh.
    <rindolf>  It's hard to do code.
    <dazjorz>  do $model;
    <dazjorz>  eh.. sorry, do $hotmodel;
    <rindolf>  "Are you into my brother?"
    <rindolf>  "No I'm totally into Perl."
      <krang>  ah ok, I see. Thanks guys!
    <rindolf>  krang: yw.
    <dazjorz>  heh :-)
    <rindolf>  If you want a configuration file, you should be using
               something like INI, YAML, etc.
    <rindolf>  XML perhaps.
    <rindolf>  Something.
    <rindolf>  Apache-like config.
    <dazjorz>  Apache-like is very strong but hard to parse, right ?
    <dazjorz>  Loading and saving configuration never looks good,
               especially when it's XML
    <dazjorz>  the code to load and save is ugly.

    -- Sextalk among Perl cultists
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
 <f00li5h>  rindolf: are you coming out this way on tour some time?
 <rindolf>  f00li5h: to .au?
 <f00li5h>  yes!
 <rindolf>  f00li5h: don't think so.
 <f00li5h>  you can pay some of my rent for a bit ^_^
 <rindolf>  f00li5h: I'm out of job too.
 <f00li5h>  perfect timing!
 <f00li5h>  no commitments
         *  f00li5h is very good at constructing circular arguments due to
            his skill in constructing circular arguments

    -- Will rindolf come to Australia?
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
       <Anon>  today my kitty gave a birth to two kitties!
    <rindolf>  Anon: ah, nice.
       <Anon>  one of them died :(
       <Anon>  during birth
    <rindolf>  Anon: oh. :-(
 <simcop2387>  Anon: were you expecting it to happen?
 <simcop2387>  :(
       <Anon>  simcop2387, i was expecting this week
    <rindolf>  Anon: do you know who the father is?
 <simcop2387>  ah
       <Anon>  rindolf, some cat
 <simcop2387>  rindolf: hopefully not him
       <Anon>  rindolf, remember my kitty ran away
    <rindolf>  Anon: ah.
       <Anon>  for a week
    <rindolf>  Anon: no I don't remember that.
       <Anon>  well, she ran away for a week
    <rindolf>  Anon: ah.
       <Anon>  and came back
       <Anon>  and during that time she got pregnant.
    <rindolf>  Anon: ah.
   <freehaha>  they don't seem to have safe sex
    <rindolf>  Anon: she eloped.
 <simcop2387>  Anon: sounds like she had fun
       <Anon>  simcop2387, sounds like that :)
 <simcop2387>  Anon: you should have the talk with her about birth control
               then (i wonder do they even make birth control for kitties)

    -- The Love Life of Cats
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
            *  rindolf is listening to
    <rindolf>  Oh crud.
    <rindolf>  I should support Kaffeine too.
  <Tanktalus>  rindolf is apparently deaf... ;-)
            *  rindolf is listening to Metallica - Nothing Else Matters
     <ubajas>  NOTHING ELSE MATTERS, DUDE
        <tkr>  rindolf: thats nice :)
        <tkr>  rindolf: how about guns 'n roses?
            *  rindolf is listening to Guns and Runs - don't cry
    <rindolf>  tkr: you read my mind.
    <rindolf>  tkr: I now placed some of their songs.
    <rindolf>  Now it's November Rain.
        <tkr>  rindolf: next time youll come to finland Ill buy you a beer
               (with no alcohol)! :)
        <tkr>  rindolf++
    <rindolf>  tkr: OK.
    <rindolf>  tkr: we have something called "Black Beer" in Israel.
    <rindolf>  Which is a non-alcoholic beer.
 <simcop2387>  rindolf: THATS RACIST! IT SHOULD BE AFRICAN AMERICAN
               ISREALI BEER!
      <edenc>  rindolf: is it any good?
    <rindolf>  simcop2387: heh .

    -- Beer, Perlers and Song
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
 <LeoNerd>  I feel there must be a way to do this... given func( foo => 1,
            bar => 2 ); how to write my ( $foo, $bar ) = .... inside the
            function?
 <LeoNerd>  My current attempt is my ( $foo, $bar ) = @{{@_}}{qw( foo bar
            )}; which is messy as sin
    <icke>  LeoNerd: what's the problem? readability?
 <LeoNerd>  Yah
 <dazjorz>  LeoNerd: I'd change specs to be func({ foo => 1, bar => 2})
 <dazjorz>  then my ($foo, $bar) = ($_[0]{foo}, $_[0]{bar});
     <ton>  Leonerd: If you insist on doing it on one line, that's about
            as good as it gets. But why not use a temporary hash ? Should
            be just as fast and as readable
 <LeoNerd>  Hrm.. :/ Then it's only marginally nicer as my ( $foo, $bar )
            = @{$_[0]}{qw( foo bar )};
 <LeoNerd>  my %args = @_; my ( $foo, $bar ) = @args{qw( foo bar )}; ya...
            that works
     <mst>  LeoNerd: my ($foo, $bar) = do { my %a = @_; @a{qw(foo bar)} };
     <ton>  if you combine it with a delete you can then check if %args is
            empty and catch typos or unexpected arguments....
 <LeoNerd>  Oooh.. a do block
 <vincent>  or use padwalker
 <LeoNerd>  Oh, args won't be empty... this is a wrapper function that
            pulls a few named args off and sends the rest to a nested
            inner function
 <LeoNerd>  Now.. I want to call a function "foreach" but that breaks
            things... suggestions?
    <icke>  a method could be named 'foreach'
 <LeoNerd>  Ya.. but this is a plain function
    <icke>  tough
 <LeoNerd>  I suppose "iterate" is about as best as I'll get
    <icke>  for_each
     <ton>  LeoNerd: forall ?
 <LeoNerd>  I'll think on it overnight maybe.. I guess it's home time now
    <icke>  foreachandeverysingleone
     <ton>  forever, forfun, forlorn...
 <vincent>  FOREACH
    <icke>  boo
 <LeoNerd>  one_for $all and $all for @one;
 <rindolf>  forevery?
 <rindolf>  <LeoNerd> one_for $all and $all for @one; - heh
 <rindolf>  $one for @all and @all for @one
 <rindolf>  $one for @all and @all for @$one
 <rindolf>  $one for @all and @all for $one
 <rindolf>  Works too.
 <LeoNerd>  Hrm.. it does?
 <LeoNerd>  deparse: $one for @all and @all for $one
  <buubot>  LeoNerd: Error: syntax error at (eval 107195) line 1, near
            "@all for "
 <LeoNerd>  You can't use two postmod fors in a single statement

    -- Syntax Fun
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
   <as841>  Hi, i am doing a print
            $drh->func('createdb',$database,"localhost","root",$password,'admin');
            but getting this Can't call method "func" on an undefined
            value
   <as841>  could anyone point me in the right direction ?
  <Yaakov>  o/~ Ow we want the func / Give up the func / Ow we need the
            func / We gotta have that func o/~ </drforr>
 <rindolf>  We got the func!
 <rindolf>  Forget the fee func, we've got the see func!
   <as841>  wtf?
   <as841>  did i launch a movement or what ?
  <Yaakov>  What the func?!

    -- The func
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
            *  f00li5h paws at dazjorz
    <dazjorz>  f00li5h! :)
    <f00li5h>  how goes it?
    <dazjorz>  it goes very fine. :)
            *  pkrumins f00s at pawlish
            *  f00li5h pkrums at pawkrumins
   <pkrumins>  f00li5h, thank you sir! =^_^=
    <f00li5h>  dazjorz: I am quite well
            *  dazjorz li5hes at f00paw
            *  dazjorz rins at pawdolf... man, I could go on forever.
   <pkrumins>  haha
   <pkrumins>  pawdolf
            *  pkrumins dazes at pawjorz
            *  dazjorz gumbys at .. oh well
            *  pkrumins paws at GumbyBRAIN
 <GumbyBRAIN>  Ik paws at gumbybrain.

    -- More Than One Way for a Cat to Paw
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
       <Similian>  is there a smart way to read a file to a certain string
                   bit by bit ?
       <Similian>  which loop to use?
        <rindolf>  Similian: you can read it byte by byte.
        <rindolf>  Similian: do you want to read the whole thing?
       <Similian>  no
       <Similian>  too big 200 MB
 <simcop2387-lab>  reading bit by bit is usually not supported by most
                   operating systems
        <rindolf>  Similian: then do you want to read one byte at a time?
             <ik>  or one line at a time?
       <Similian>  guess a line would be better
        <rindolf>  simcop2387-lab: it is on my rindolfOS running on Intel
                   1001.
        <rindolf>  Which was a 1-bit processor.
             <ik>  heh
             <ik>  I had a half-bit processor
             <ik>  it just stored ones
       <danieldg>  ik: that would be a zero-bit processor then
             <ik>  no no
       <danieldg>  half-bit processor stores 0's or sqrt(2)'s
             <ik>  sqrt(2) may as well be 1
 <simcop2387-lab>  rindolf: a 1 bit processor would be a hell of a thing
                   to work with
       <danieldg>  not if you can't test it unless it's one
             <ik>  We're not talking about numbers, we're talking about on
                   and off, true and false, whatever you want to call it
             <ik>  sqrt(2) is nonzero, so it's one.
        <rindolf>  danieldg: not 1/sqrt(2)?
       <danieldg>  hmm it would probably be that, yes
 <simcop2387-lab>  my proc uses sqrt[-1]!
             <ik>  may as well
       <danieldg>  ik: think quantum computers. It tests true with
                   probability 1/sqrt(2)
             <ik>  I'm not talking about a quantum computer..
       <danieldg>  well a 1/2 bit computer clearly can't be classical

    -- Bit by bit
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
 <rindolf>  whoppix: what's up?
 <whoppix>  rindolf, haskelling through the night.
 <rindolf>  whoppix: ah.
 <whoppix>  rindolf, im pretty much a beginner, tho.
 <rindolf>  whoppix: yes, I learned Haskell back at the time.
 <rindolf>  whoppix: I tried to write a log analyser in Haskell once.
 <rindolf>  whoppix: it segfaulted.
 <rindolf>  whoppix: a CL-one was much better.
  <Caelum>  rindolf: haha
 <whoppix>  sadness
 <rindolf>  whoppix: then people showed me how to write it better.
 <rindolf>  whoppix: but it segfaulted too.
 <whoppix>  haha
  <Caelum>  hahaha
  <Zoffix>  lol
 <rindolf>  whoppix: I gave up on using Haskell for production.
  <Caelum>  rindolf: I've submitted your story to bash.org

    -- Log Analyser in Haskell
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
     <rindolf>  perlmonkey2: I've ran into a strange problem with CMake.
                It's some kind of bug that disappears after running a few
                commands.
 <perlmonkey2>  rindolf: heh, the best kind of bugs are intermittant and
                only happen under load :P
     <rindolf>  perlmonkey2: it's not load.
      <daemon>  The best kind of bugs are the ones that do not happen at
                all :)
     <rindolf>  daemon: heh.
     <rindolf>  daemon++
     <Altreus>  The best kind of bugs are the ones that only happen to
                people you hate.
 <perlmonkey2>  hahahaha
     <Altreus>  Those aren't usually bugs
     <Altreus>  >:)
      <daemon>  Altreus, you mean the ones you coded to happen to that
                said person ;)
      <daemon>  hehe
     <Altreus>  Not being able to reproduce strange behaviour is fine too

    -- Best kind of bugs
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
           *  Zoffix &
 <^Quiddity>  Zoffix: fg
   <apeiron>  ^Quiddity, no
   <apeiron>  kill %1
   <rindolf>  kill -9 apeiron
   <apeiron>  rindolf, EPERM
 <^Quiddity>  kill: apeiron: arguments must be process or job IDs
   <rindolf>  apeiron: sudo kill -9 apeiron
 <^Quiddity>  killall -9 apeiron
   <rindolf>  pkill -9 apeiron
   <apeiron>  rindolf, user rindolf is not in the sudoers file, this event
              will be reported
           *  apeiron wonders what it says about him that he has that
              error message pretty much memorized
 <^Quiddity>  apeiron: that you don't spend enough time issuing commands
              correctly

    -- The IRC-Based UNIX Shell
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
 <rindolf>  mst: sorry for that - that was not my intention.
     <mst>  rindolf: I know it wasn't. you aren't that retarded. but the
            way your comment came across was :)
 <rindolf>  mst: yes.
 <rindolf>  mst++
 <rindolf>  mst: "you aren't that retarded." - you shouldn't insult my
            retardedness (sp?). I worked all my life to be so retarded.
 <Altreus>  I think you can spell made-up words like 'retardedness'
            however you like
 <carpftb>  if you're a retard.
   <Botje>  heh
   <Botje>  working hard is the exact opposite of retardedness :]
 <Altreus>  hardly working

    -- Retardedness
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
 <jfroebe>  trying to come up with a replacement name for my
            Flickr::Simple2.. (it is based off of XML::Simple rather than
            XML::Parser::Lite::Tree) - Net::Flickr, Flickr::API,
            Flickr::Simple are already taken. Any ideas? I'm coming up
            blank for a name
 <jfroebe>  It is a Perl interface to Flickr
  <mofino>  wait
 <rindolf>  jfroebe: ah, I saw your message on Chicago.pm
 <rindolf>  jfroebe: maybe WWW::Flickr
  <mofino>  you found others and decided you needed to make ANOTHER perl
            interface to flickr?
 <jfroebe>  the other ones have been broken for a long time (either
            because of use of the abandoned XML::Parser::Lite::Tree module
            or because the authentication method was never correctly
            implemented)
     <buu>  jfroebe: Please no more names involving ::Simple
 <rindolf>  buu: ::Tiny
 <jfroebe>  WWW::Flickr is a good possibility
     <buu>  Thanks rindolf.
  <mofino>  hah tiny is the new simple
 <rindolf>  ::Minimal.
     <buu>  ::SeriouslyfuckingSmall
 <rindolf>  ::NotEnough
 <rindolf>  ::GargantuanlySmall
 <rindolf>  ::Minuscule
 <apeiron>  ::Warning::Uses::XML::Simple::And::Thus::Has::
            Terrible::Performance::And::Memory::Usage
     <Fah>  ::Deficient
  <mofino>  stay in the Flickr:: space
 <rindolf>  apeiron++
  <mofino>  if there already is one
 <jfroebe>  mofino.. that's the problem what to name it
   <nadim>  ::Nano
   <nadim>  that should be small enough and it sounds serious
  <mofino>  jfroebe, something in Flickr:: ;)
 <rindolf>  ::Femto
 <jfroebe>  lol - understood
  <mofino>  jfroebe, ::Improved ::Modern ::Lite ::Tiny ::FUCKYEAH
 <rindolf>  jfroebe: a Rose by any other name...
  <mofino>  IS A DUCK
 <rindolf>  I think half the posts to module-authors are about "How shall
            I name this module?"
  <mofino>  haha
      <ik>  I use perlmonks for that ^_^
 <rindolf>  jfroebe: I'm not a fan of XML::Simple either.
  <mofino>  XML::Simple is teh awesome
      <ik>  1;
      <ik>  XML::Simple is teh sux
  <mofino>  whatever
      <ik>  "this could be an arrayref or a hashref or a nothingref
            depending on how many thingies were in your doo-dad"
  <mofino>  force it
      <ik>  yes
  <mofino>  but yeah, that is a bit annoying
 <rindolf>  ik++ - my thoughts exactly.
  <mofino>  OH SUDDEN HASHREF
 <apeiron>  XML::Simple is the MySQL of XML parsers.
  <mofino>  haha
  <mofino>  ahh mysql, DOOOMED
 <rindolf>  Haha # apeiron++
  <kent\n>  lol @ > apeiron
  <drforr>  There's a reason it's called "Simple." You'll find out about 3
            days after you start using it.
  <kent\n>  would it be anything releated to being feature-incomplete
  <drforr>  That would be be why it's "simple".
 <jfroebe>  but for simple XML data (i.e. Flickr's REST API), it is more
            than sufficient
  <kent\n>  define "simple" XML
  <kent\n>  $xml = '<' # already too complex
 <jfroebe>  kent - lol
 <jfroebe>  :)
 <jfroebe>  thoughts on Flickr::YA::API ?
 <jfroebe>  for a name
  <mofino>  jfroebe, YA?
 <jfroebe>  yet another
  <mofino>  ...
  <mofino>  just pick a name
  <mofino>  Flickr::API
  <mofino>  oh, nevermind
 <jfroebe>  mofino - now you see.. all the good ones are taken ;-)
  <mofino>  maybe you had it at Flickr::Simple2
  <kent\n>  Flickr::API:: something
  <kent\n>  or something
  <mofino>  kent\n, namespace already in use
 <rindolf>  Flickr::Two
  <mofino>  jfroebe, since your API is an improvement over Simple
   <nadim>  mst: lol
  <kent\n>  Flickr::API::SucksLess
 <rindolf>  jfroebe: you can call it Flickr::Jfroebey
 <jfroebe>  mofino, I think you might be right.
  <kent\n>  Flicker::API::FAFINAFA
 <jfroebe>  rindolf - lol ... my head is already big enough lol
  <mofino>  jfroebe, i mean, if that's what it is, it shows a clear
            progression from Simple
  <kent\n>  ( Flicker::API::FAFINAFA is not a flickr api )
   <nadim>  Flicker::rekcilF
 <rindolf>  jfroebe: I have released Spork::Shlomify with some random
            changes to Spork that I needed.
 <rindolf>  Well, I use subclassing to implement them.
 <jfroebe>  lmao
 <apeiron>  You forked that spork!
 <rindolf>  apeiron: it's not a fork! It's an improved spork!
 <rindolf>  Flickr::Bettr
  <kent\n>  Flickr::Strobe
  <kent\n>  ( its a bit brighter )
  <kent\n>  Flickr::OnAndOff
   <nadim>  Flickr::FullBeam
   <nadim>  Flickr::FullLights
  <kent\n>  Flickr::2009
  <mofino>  Flickr::Meat
  <kent\n>  that way somebody will be able to invent something better next
            year
  <kent\n>  and call it Flickr::2010
  <mofino>  Flickr::rkcilF
  <mofino>  Flickr::Barbie::Edition
  <mofino>  Flickr::Nuts
   <nadim>  Flickr::3b0f3a25d07e5d9dbdf98db15ee70410 (and no, it is not
            random)
  <mofino>  Flickr::911wasaninsidejob
   <nadim>  hehe
  <mofino>  haha
 <jfroebe>  thanks guys :) I've requested the Flickr::Simple2 namespace
            via pause

    -- "A rose by any other name…" (and a little on XML::Simple)
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
 <Mel|work>  Yaakov: icke==troll?
  <rindolf>  Mel|work: no, he's not a troll.
   <Yaakov>  Mel|work: No, icke is just... enthusiastic about "channel
             purity"
 <Mel|work>  k....
          *  rindolf hates when people abuse the == operator in English
             for "contained in"
  <apeiron>  rindolf, "icke contained in troll"? That's not what Mel|work
             meant.
    <tarbo>  sure he did, if you make troll a set of users
  <rindolf>  apeiron: what he meant by icke == troll is that icke belongs
             to the set of trolls.
  <rindolf>  apeiron: not that every troll in the world is icke.
  <apeiron>  rindolf, No, he was asking if icke is a troll.
     <icke>  $icke->isa('Troll');
     <icke>  (false)
  <rindolf>  apeiron: is-a means "contained in the set of objects with the
             property of"
  <rindolf>  apeiron: mathematically speaking.
  <apeiron>  rindolf, Okay, so you're assigning the mathematical meaning
             of == to its usage in a *perl* channel?
  <apeiron>  rindolf, Now who's fiddling with meanings, eh?
  <rindolf>  apeiron: whatever.
  <apeiron>  'whatever' is what those who have lost their argument say.
  <rindolf>  apeiron: whatever.
  <apeiron>  ^ QED
  <rindolf>  apeiron: whatever.
  <PerlJam>  apeiron: I thought that's what people who don't care say.
  <apeiron>  PerlJam, If one doesn't care, they wouldn't respond.
  <PerlJam>  apeiron: whatever
  <PerlJam>  ;-)
  <rindolf>  LOL.

    -- Whatever
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
     <rindolf>  My father and I joked about sorting the dishes in the
                dishwasher.
     <rindolf>  My father said: "If you won't sort the dishwasher, the
                dishwasher won't be sorted."
      <Loci64>  rindolf: bubble sort *g*
        <icke>  dishsort
     <rindolf>  Then I said "No, it won't be sorted by me."
     <rindolf>  So he said "No, it won't be sorted at all. We will throw
                the dishwasher."
     <rindolf>  "Along with all the dishes."
     <rindolf>  Loci64: bubble sort is inefficient.
     <rindolf>  Loci64: you should use quicksort or mergesort.
     <whoppix>  or bashsort, or heapsort!
        <icke>  yeah, but thorough.
     <rindolf>  Loci64: or for small values of "N" - insertion sort.
     <whoppix>  although I can't remember if those were stable.
     <rindolf>  whoppix: what is bashsort?
        <icke>  that matters for a dishwasher
 <EvanCarroll>  /bin/sort
 <EvanCarroll>  duh
      <Loci64>  hehe, but dishwashers usually have medium to large numbers
                of N ;-) maybe trashsort solves the problem
     <rindolf>  EvanCarroll: perldoc -f sort is more portable.
     <whoppix>  rindolf, shellsort, not bashsort, sorry :)
     <rindolf>  But I'll need to build a robot to use it with the dishes.
        <icke>  cshsort
 <EvanCarroll>  here must be a trillion sorting algos
 <EvanCarroll>  and 9/10 of them are total shit
 <EvanCarroll>  and inferior in every way.
 <EvanCarroll>  This sorting algorithem is coveted if you KNOW that only
                one value is out of perfect order and it sits in the
                second to last position of the input.

    -- dishsort
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
   <rindolf>  Good localtime(), #perl!
 <sproingie>  rindolf: good scalar localtime to you
   <rindolf>  sproingie: oooh! scalar context.
 <sproingie>  well i didn't want to make ya parse it
   <rindolf>  sproingie: it is implied however.
 <sproingie>  (er unparse it)
   <rindolf>  Good strftime($format, localtime()).
   <rindolf>  But better use DateTime.
   <rindolf>  Or something.
      <icke>  sub good ($$$) { ... }
   <rindolf>  icke: yes.
   <rindolf>  eval: good localtime(), #perl!
   <buubot3>  rindolf: ERROR: syntax error at (eval 21) line 1, near "good
              localtime"
   <Altreus>  eval: 'hi rindolf how is your '.scalar localtime.'?'
   <buubot3>  Altreus: hi rindolf how is your Tue Mar 10 15:43:13 2009?
   <rindolf>  Altreus: how is my Tuesday, 10-March-2009?
   <rindolf>  Altreus: or do you mean down right to that exact second.
   <Altreus>  rindolf: I gave you as much information as I could for you
              to use as you see fit.
   <Altreus>  If you don't need it all you can just take the date

    -- Good scalar localtime()
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
 <rindolf>  The Module::Build saga goes on!
     <mst>  Module::Build isn't a saga, it's a fucking horror series

    -- Module::Build
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
 <Altreus>  Hmm I should have checked the licence on Inline::Lua
     <dwu>  orochi_: licence it and people will steal it anyway :)
  <Yaakov>  Well, you can try to steal that, but it would be like a mouse
            stealing a battle tank.
     <dwu>  Altreus: you mean acronym?
 <Altreus>  Perl license
 <Altreus>  dwu: n
 <Altreus>  IP is not pronounced as a word so it is not an acronym.
 <Altreus>  At least not in the original meaning of the word: which is the
            only meaning given by a majority of dictionaries
  <Yaakov>  Yes, it's not a true acronym, though the word now has that
            baggage.
 <orochi_>  Ip Ip Ip!
 <Altreus>  ni!
         *  orochi_ runs away
     <dwu>  Altreus: i say ip... :)
  <Yaakov>  IP would be an abbreviation.
     <dwu>  also, initials? but isms are cool.
 <rindolf>  I see Eye.Pea.
     <dwu>  oooh yes.
     <dwu>  and dead people?
         *  rindolf is listening to Sesame Street - Yip Yip Martians
 <Altreus>  dwu: Intent is involved; just because you say it as a word
            does not mean it was meant to be said as a word ;)
 <Altreus>  wikipedia knows about it, and has like a million sauces cited
 <Altreus>  mostly dictionaries
  <Yaakov>  YAPC is an acronymic moniker! BE THERE
     <dwu>  Altreus: well absolutement :) also, yumy, i like bernaise.
 <rindolf>  I say* Eye.Pea.
     <dwu>  hrrrm, the oxford cream dictionary. *nomnomnom*
     <dwu>  rindolf: awww.
  <ne2k__>  Eye.Pea.Freely
 <rindolf>  dwu: heh
  <ne2k__>  no-one says "ip", everyone says "Eye Pea"
 <Altreus>  Ip address
     <dwu>  rindolf: can you just -say- dead people, for the heck of it?
 <rindolf>  Yip address
     <dwu>  ne2k__: provably false. i need an ip address, stat!
 <Altreus>  yiff address?
 <rindolf>  dwu: I say dead people.
     <dwu>  <3 rindolf
 <rindolf>  dwu: I say.
     <dwu>  you do :)
 <Altreus>  I say I say I say
 <rindolf>  dwu: :-)
  <ne2k__>  dwu: you can't stat an ip address, only a file

    -- How to say IP?
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
    <rindolf>  Su-Shee: it's VBA, not VB.
    <rindolf>  Su-Shee: completely different beast.
    <rindolf>  Su-Shee: and much saner.
    <rindolf>  Su-Shee: I don't know VB.
    <rindolf>  Never had the need.
      <c0bra>  _Fauchi95_: alright
     <fuzzix>  rindolf: And you coll yourself a programmer...
    <rindolf>  And hopefully will never have the need.
    <rindolf>  fuzzix: call
     <fuzzix>  rindolf: Good coll. Dvorak's tough after spending the day
               on qwerty :)
    <rindolf>  fuzzix: coll again?
    <rindolf>  Hmm... there is such a word called "coll".
     <fuzzix>  rindolf: That one was a joke :)
      <c0bra>  why stop now? he's on a roll
    <rindolf>  Wonder what it means.
    <rindolf>  fuzzix: ah.
 <simcop2387>  c0bra: a rick roll?
    <rindolf>  rall
      <c0bra>  a coll roll
    <rindolf>  roll the ball.
    <rindolf>  rall the boll.
    <rindolf>  And go to the Super-bowl.
      <c0bra>  Coll\, v. t. [OF. coler, fr. L. collum neck.] To embrace.
    <rindolf>  "Rolling is hard. Let's go to the mall."

    -- You coll yourself a programmer
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
 <Su-Shee>  2010 is planned more or less as a refactoring year.
 <DrForr_>  A whole *year*? What physical plane of existence do you reside
            on?
 <Su-Shee>  DrForr_: there's also bugs to fix and systems to care for and
            things like that. it's not that we're locked into the closet
            and a year later a new, shiny product is released. ;)
 <DrForr_>  Closet optional.
 <Su-Shee>  I'm not a wonderwoman refactoring half a million lines of perl
            in a week, sorry. :)
 <rindolf>  Su-Shee: Chuck Norris refactors 10 millions lines of perl
            before lunch.
 <Su-Shee>  rindolf: hm. that's the reason.. I'm not as hairy as chuck
            norris and I don't have a beard...
 <rindolf>  Su-Shee: ah.
 <rindolf>  Su-Shee: Chuck Norris also wrote a complete Perl 6
            implementation.
 <Su-Shee>  rindolf: I heard, he already wrote Perl 7.
 <rindolf>  Su-Shee: yes.
         *  rindolf wants to be as awesome as Chuck when he grows up.
 <Su-Shee>  rindolf: I envy you. I'll never be as awesome without a beard.
 <rindolf>  Su-Shee: heh.
 <rindolf>  Su-Shee: it doesn't matter if you're rigid on the outside as
            long as you're rigid on the inside.
 <Su-Shee>  chuck norris doesn't make mistakes.
 <rindolf>  Su-Shee: Chuck Norris corrects God.
 <Su-Shee>  rindolf: I'll apply as his secretary.
 <rindolf>  Su-Shee: as Chuck's?
 <Su-Shee>  rindolf: yes.
 <rindolf>  Su-Shee: OK.
 <rindolf>  Chuck Norris doesn't code. When he sits next to a computer, it
            just does whatever he wants.
 <Su-Shee>  I'll tell my boss tomorrow. Chuck is who he wants.
 <rindolf>  Su-Shee: Chuck Norris is his own boss.
 <rindolf>  Su-Shee: if you hire him, he'll tell your boss what to do.
 <Su-Shee>  good point.

    -- Becoming as awesome as Chuck Norris is
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
        <integral>  hi perly!
 <perlygatekeeper>  hey Chris, hey integral
 <perlygatekeeper>  dabreegster, don't know you do I but HEY anyway
 <perlygatekeeper>  what's been up?
     <dabreegster>  Ignore me, fine.
                 *  dabreegster goes in a corner
       <Chris62vw>  dabreegster is the man, man
     <dabreegster>  Ah, that's better.
         <rindolf>  perlygatekeeper: yo, yo, yo, dude!
 <perlygatekeeper>  rindolf!!
         <rindolf>  perlygatekeeper: what's up?
 <perlygatekeeper>  hmmm
 <perlygatekeeper>  not much
 <perlygatekeeper>  you?
         <rindolf>  perlygatekeeper: fine. Let me recall what I said to
                    ezra.
         <rindolf>  perlygatekeeper: I'm fine. Got into a few flamewars,
                    and escaped alive to tell the tale.
         <rindolf>  perlygatekeeper: worked a bit on my story "The Human
                    Hacking Field Guide".
         <rindolf>  perlygatekeeper: (which, BTW, you appear there (as
                    your IRC nick at least)
         <rindolf>  perlygatekeeper: and now working on the Computer
                    Graphics section of my homepage.
 <perlygatekeeper>  rindolf, what the hell?
         <rindolf>  perlygatekeeper: excuse me?
 <perlygatekeeper>  rindolf was that someone pretending to be me?
 <perlygatekeeper>  I never said those things
         <rindolf>  perlygatekeeper: it's a fictitious story.
         <rindolf>  perlygatekeeper: relax.
     <dabreegster>  perlygatekeeper: or you could be the imposter right
                    now... or maybe just schizophrenic.
         <rindolf>  dabreegster: MPDed not schizophrenic.
         <rindolf>  dabreegster: schizophrenia is not
                    Multi-Persona-Disordered.
            <b0at>  perlygatekeeper: It's fan fiction from your fan!
     <dabreegster>  rindolf: what's the difference?
         <rindolf>  dabreegster: MPD is when there are several
                    personalities living inside your brain.
         <rindolf>  dabreegster: in schizophrenia, you have one I-ness,
                    but hear voices, hallucinate and stuff.
     <dabreegster>  rindolf: Ah. Why is it considered a disorder? MPD
                    could be quite useful... One would have different
                    perspectives on a subject.
 <perlygatekeeper>  where's beth, she'll know it's me
        <integral>  But how will we know it's beth?!
     <dabreegster>  rindolf: Oh, I have MPD then, not schizophrenia. I
                    don't hallucinate.
     <dabreegster>  integral: WE DON'T!
            <b0at>  I don't hallucinate, but my other personality does.
     <dabreegster>  How do I know all of you exist? Am I just a figment of
                    my own imagination?
     <dabreegster>  b0at: Interesting...
         <rindolf>  dabreegster: Julian Jaynes describes schizophrenia
                    very well in his "The Origins of Consciousness during
                    the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind book".
        <integral>  nono, you're all just figments of _lilo_'s imagination
     <dabreegster>  rindolf: I'll check it out
            <b0at>  he wishes
     <dabreegster>  integral: and you?
 <perlygatekeeper>  the voices tell me if it's really beth or not
     <dabreegster>  perlygatekeeper: The voices tell me everything.
     <dabreegster>  Wait, I do have the Voices. Maybe I have MPD _and_
                    schizophrenia.
            <b0at>  Ah, but the question is: do the Voices have voices?
         <rindolf>  dabreegster:
                    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Origin_of_Consciousness_in_the_Breakdown_of_the_Bicameral_Mind
            <b0at>  And if so, is it your own voice?
     <dabreegster>  b0at: And do the voices of the voices have voices?
            <b0at>  That's just going too far.
             <dkr>  don't worry, those are angels, invest in tarot cards
                    and you will be able to understand them
     <dabreegster>  b0at: and if it's not, then could it be the voice
                    of........ integral? rindolf? or.... buu!
            <b0at>  buu has other plans for our empty skulls
     <dabreegster>  b0at: and if they do, then what do the voices of the
                    voices of the voices of the Voices sound like?
        <integral>  *sob* it's the cabbages. The cabbages keep telling me
                    to do things
           <Botje>  really? most of the time it's the socks that tell me
                    stuff
     <dabreegster>  integral: The lawn gnomes tell me.
                    They're........everywhere...*sniffle*
        <integral>  *blubber* the socks are worse, there's moths living in
                    them
     <dabreegster>  The lawn gnomes tell me to stay away from Life. They
                    force me to write poetry.
     <dabreegster>  integral: *whispering* are the _moths_ the Voices? or
                    the voices of the Voices? or the voices of the voices
                    of the Voices?
                 *  dabreegster goes back to reading
        <integral>  *looks furtively around for moths*

    -- The voices told me so.
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
     <rindolf>  Su-Shee: I'm not good in detecting sarcasm over IRC.
     <rindolf>  But naturally sometimes say sarcastic things myself.
             *  Patterner cuts his Nerd Membership Card in small pieces
     <Su-Shee>  rindolf: that's why god gave us the ;) smiley ;)
     <rindolf>  Su-Shee: not God, but a Russian enterpreneur who
                trademarked it.
             *  rindolf wishes we were all speaking in XML.
     <rindolf>  J/K.
     <rindolf>  Even Perl is not good enough for human communication.
     <Su-Shee>  rindolf: are you really still that nerdy in your age?
     <rindolf>  Su-Shee: I guess.
     <rindolf>  Su-Shee: nerdy or geeky?
     <rindolf>  Su-Shee: I.e: technologically inclined or having no social
                life?
             *  rindolf is both though.
     <Su-Shee>  rindolf: so let's called it nerky. ;)
     <rindolf>  But hopefully once I get a gf, I'll be less of a Nerd.
     <Su-Shee>  rindolf: what makes you think that?
     <rindolf>  Su-Shee: I'll go out.
     <rindolf>  Su-Shee: and stuff.
     <rindolf>  Su-Shee: I also consider to start studying in Tel Aviv
                Uni.
     <Su-Shee>  rindolf: and why does that require a girl friend?
     <rindolf>  English/Hebrew/etc. or something.
     <rindolf>  Lots of girls there. :-)
     <rindolf>  Su-Shee: going out?
     <Su-Shee>  those are language-skills humanities-department girls. ;)
     <Su-Shee>  rindolf: yes.
     <rindolf>  Su-Shee: I like language geeks.
     <rindolf>  Thing is I think my knowledge of English and Hebrew is too
                superficial.
     <rindolf>  And I lack the discipline to correct it on my own.
     <Su-Shee>  rindolf: language departments like English are usually
                exactly _not_ geek-ish departments.
     <rindolf>  Su-Shee: you mean they are not tech-savvy?
     <rindolf>  But you can be an English geek.
     <Su-Shee>  rindolf: they're not even language geeks usually.
     <rindolf>  Or a hacker of English.
     <rindolf>  Su-Shee: really?
     <rindolf>  How sad.
     <Su-Shee>  rindolf: you know some people just want to have good
                language skills and read books and communicate.
 <peterrooney>  a good hacker will know at least three languages.
     <rindolf>  Well, maybe it's different in Israel.
     <rindolf>  peterrooney: human ones, right?
 <peterrooney>  rindolf: at least one of them should be human
     <rindolf>  I know English, Hebrew, studied Literary Arabic for 6
                years and forgot most of it, and have some rudimentary
                French.
     <rindolf>  peterrooney: ok.
     <rindolf>  peterrooney: I think ever hacker should know Perl, Python,
                Haskell, C, Scheme/Lisp and Bash.
     <rindolf>  And HTML/XHTML+CSS+etc.
     <Su-Shee>  thank god I'm no hacker. ;)
             *  rindolf hacks Su-Shee into a hacker.
     <Su-Shee>  rindolf: no you won't. one can perfectly well do nice tech
                stuff without degrading into someone he/she's not.
     <rindolf>  Su-Shee: don't you like programming ? Didn't you
                contribute to FOSS?
     <Su-Shee>  rindolf: aaand? I can do that without declaring myself as
                hacker, nerd, geek or whatever.
     <rindolf>  Su-Shee: OK.
     <rindolf>  Su-Shee: but it still makes you a hacker.
     <Su-Shee>  rindolf: trust me, I'm very much not a hacker. really.
                honest to god not.
             *  rindolf gives a blue badge of honour saying "Hacker" to
                Su-Shee
     <rindolf>  Su-Shee: too late, you're one of us now! ;-)
     <rindolf>  "Resistance is futile."

    -- Hacking someone into a hacker
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
 <FreakGuard>  icke, how to start REPL?
       <icke>  FreakGuard: looked in the docs?
 <FreakGuard>  icke, no.
       <icke>  you got to load it from CPAN
 <FreakGuard>  icke, yeah, I've installed it.
            *  Altreus sells FreakGuard perl docs at a reasonable price
               only $9.99 each
       <icke>  perldoc Devel::REPL is the direct way to info then
            *  Altreus wrings his hands and cackles
 <FreakGuard>  icke, thanks :P
            *  rindolf bests Altreus' bargain by 1 cent.
    <rindolf>  Reminds me of what I learned in Game Theory.
            *  Altreus offers free delivery
            *  rindolf allows free download
    <rindolf>  Of course quality > price.
            *  rindolf offers a deluxe edition of the Perl documentation
               for 1,000 USD plus shipping and handling.
        <huf>  diamond-encrusted?
    <rindolf>  See http://perldoc.perl.org/ for a preview.
    <rindolf>  huf: natural diamonds, too.
    <rindolf>  huf: Canadian diamonds.
        <huf>  well, if <> is natural... :)
    <rindolf>  huf: heh.
    <rindolf>  huf: not this kind of diamond.
            *  Altreus compresses if () under several million tonnes of
               rock for a few aeons
    <rindolf>  I also give free spaceships - <=>
   <infrared>  heh
    <rindolf>  Diamonds are heresy! We need PEARLs!
    <rindolf>  /usr/bin/PEARL
    <Altreus>  f00li5h: Seems like it!
 <FreakGuard>  I prefer other gems :-)
    <Altreus>  I suggested to Think Geek that they should do Perl
               necklaces but they didn't
    <rindolf>  FreakGuard: Ruby gems?
 <FreakGuard>  rindolf, correct.
    <Altreus>  The rare PHP
    <Altreus>  Darling I got you a PHP wedding ring
    <Altreus>  oh it broke
    <rindolf>  Altreus: as PHP tends to.
            *  rindolf laughts maniacally.
    <Altreus>  you maniac!

    -- Given enough suckers, all profits become shallow
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
      <Enl>  apeiron: because I write client side (Provider) which sends
             push messages to the phone and checks for new mail in perl
  <rindolf>  Enl: a cellphone?
  <apeiron>  No, a rotary POTS phone that's capable of receiving email,
             rindolf.
      <Enl>  rindolf: iphone, yep
  <rindolf>  apeiron: :-) apeiron++
  <rindolf>  apeiron: I want a phone like that!
  <rindolf>  apeiron: do you sell them?
  <apeiron>  rindolf, Yes, and I have some oceanfront property for you,
             too.
  <rindolf>  apeiron: would you accept some of my copious gold bars in
             return?
  <apeiron>  rindolf, No. I only deal in Latinum!
  <rindolf>  apeiron: Latinum.
  <rindolf>  apeiron: gold-pressed Latinum?
  <apeiron>  yes.
  <rindolf>  apeiron: I only have silver-pressed Latinum.
      <Enl>  rindolf: get an iPhone, lol
  <rindolf>  apeiron: would you accept LeoNerd and nanonyme as substitutes
             ? You can sell them for mucho Latinum.
  <apeiron>  heh
  <rindolf>  Enl: iPhones are worthless.
          *  rindolf conspires to steal the ApeironPhones.
  <rindolf>  I didn't say I was honest.
          *  apeiron jealously guards his G1
      <Enl>  rindolf: now really
  <rindolf>  Enl: you should get an ApeironPhone too.
  <rindolf>  Enl: chicks love it.
  <apeiron>  what
      <Enl>  rindolf: pff, chicks dont matter
  <rindolf>  I would kill for an ApeironPhone!
  <Su-Shee>  ahaem?
          *  rindolf kills Su-Shee and takes her ApeironPhone.
  <apeiron>  ...
  <apeiron>  wtf.
 <go|dfish>  hahaha
          *  rindolf uses his RindolfMindReading™ to see who else has an
             ApeironPhone.
  <apeiron>  Put down the acid, Shlomi. o.o
      <huf>  like that'll help
      <huf>  he's still got ~8 hrs on it
  <Su-Shee>  rindolf: I have an apeiron-phone?
  <Su-Shee>  where did buu go anyway?
  <rindolf>  Su-Shee: you had one.
  <rindolf>  Su-Shee: before you died.

    -- The ApeironPhone - you know you want it
    -- #perl, Freenode
%
 <rindolf>  Su-Shee: "I always wonder why the people I hang out with are
            so pedantic. And then I remember: because they are so
            pedantic." -- a Perl-ILer. ;-)
    <Zaba>  rindolf, because they use warnings
         *  rindolf adds "use Zaba;" to his code.
    <Zaba>  oh no, I'm being used!
         *  rindolf adds "abuse Zaba;" to his code.
 <rindolf>  Next: "misuse Zaba;"
    <Zaba>  ouch!

    -- use Zaba
    -- #perl, Freenode
