Chuck Norris wrote a complete Perl 6 implementation in a day, but then
destroyed all evidence with his bare hands, so no-one will know his secrets.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck Norris refactors 10 million lines of Perl code before lunch.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck Norris is his own boss. If you hire him, he'll tell your boss what to
do.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck Norris read the entire English Wikipedia in 24 hours. Twice.

( Actually, he wrote it in 24 hours. Twice. The first time longhand in blood.
The second time he typed it in from memory (by *Drew Roberts*). )

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck Norris does not code; when he sits at a computer, it just does whatever
he wants. (By: *Kattana*.)

    -- Kattana
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck Norris commits with a roundhouse kick into the SVN server's head.

    -- Daxim
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes. (Su-Shee)

He corrects God. (Shlomi Fish)

    -- Su-Shee and Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck Norris is the ghost author of the entire Debian GNU/Linux distribution.
And he wrote it in 24 hours, while taking snack breaks.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck Norris doesn't commit changes, the changes commit for him.

    -- Araujo
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Bugs are too afraid to reproduce on Chuck Norris' computer. As a result, when
he uses Microsoft Windows, it behaves just like a Linux system.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck Norris is a real programmer. He writes programs by implementing the most
optimised machines for them using real atoms.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Deletionists delete Wikipedia articles that they consider lame.

Chuck Norris deletes Deletionists whom he considers lame.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
There are no deletionists. Only Wikipedia articles Chuck Norris allows to
live. (By: *joeyadams*)

    -- joeyadams
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Wikipedia deletionists don't delete lame Wikipedia articles. Chuck Norris
deletes lame Wikipedia articles.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
No one knows all of Perl - not even Larry Wall. Except Chuck Norris, who knows
all of Perl 5, Perl 6 and can answer questions about the design of Perl 7.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck Norris reads all messages posted to LKML (= the Linux Kernel Mailing
List), understands them all, and he kills all gnomes he sees in sight.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
When Chuck Norris uses Gentoo, "emerge kde" finishes in under a minute. A
computer cannot afford to keep Chuck waiting for too long.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck Norris is the greatest man in history. He killed all the great men who
could ever pose a competition.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
"My only boss is God. And Chuck Norris who is his boss."

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck Norris can make the statement "This statement is false." a true one.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck Norris can end world hunger, but he thinks that hungry people make
humanity a more challenging adversary. If everyone had enough to eat, it would
be too easy for him.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck Norris can read Perl code that was RSA encrypted.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck Norris once wrote a 10 million lines C++ program in Microsoft Notepad
without having to use the backspace key. And it compiled without errors or
warnings, and was 100% bug-free.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
If the mountain will not come to Muhammad, then Muhammad will go to the
mountain. If the mountain will not come to Chuck Norris, then the mountain
will suffer Norris’s wrath for not complying with his whims.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck Norris has 0 messages in his E-mail inbox. Including already read ones.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck Norris was never a newbie! He will kill anyone who implies otherwise. In
a very not newbie-like manner.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Only perl and Chuck Norris can parse Perl.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
All Chuck Norris has to do is *look* at Perl code and it interprets itself out
of fear and respect.

    -- DrForr
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck Norris taught God how to create the universe.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck Norris is the reason why the Knights who until Recently Said “Ni”, are
no longer saying “Ni”.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck Norris is not afraid of superstitions. Superstitions are afraid of Chuck
Norris.

    -- Dov and Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck Norris *does* expect the Spanish Inquisition.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
The Spanish Inquisition does not expect Chuck Norris.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
A wood chuck can’t chuck wood. Chuck Norris can chuck wood chucks.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
If Chuck Norris asks you “What's up?” and you answer it literally, then he
will club you senseless with all the volumes of the Oxford English Dictionary,
and all the servers hosting en.wiktionary.org, to teach you a lesson.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck Norris helps the gods that help themselves.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
If Chuck Norris had been born before World War II, there would have been only
one world war. However, there would have been three largescale Chuck Norris
masacares of Nazis and Communists.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
If the mountain does not come to Muhammad, then Chuck Norris will bring the
mountain over.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
An apple a day will keep Chuck Norris away. But not for long.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Reality to be conquered must be obeyed. You’d better obey Chuck Norris or
he’ll conquer you.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck Norris had a problem so he decided to use regular expressions. Now, all
the World’s problems are solved.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
A is A and A is not not-A — unless Chuck Norris says so.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck Norris can make East and West meet.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
When Chuck Norris orders Pizza, it arrives before he presses the OK button.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck Norris does not need to heat up food. The food is already warm right
after he took it out of the fridge.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck’s idea of a short walk is to the [Andromeda
Galaxy](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andromeda_Galaxy) and back.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck Norris hasn't taken these facts down yet, so they must be true.

    -- Cantide
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
For every A, Chuck Norris is both A and not-A. Chuck Norris is fucking
everything.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Tomorrow never dies, unless Chuck Norris volunteers to take it out of its
misery

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
God created the world in 6 days and rested on the 7th. Chuck Norris created
the world in one day, and has been incrementally destroying it every day
since, without rest.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck Norris is always right. Even if he says that “A is not-A”, he would be
right, because Logic is subject to his whims.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck Norris does not own a dishwasher. His dishes know better than to become
dirty.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
The Angel of Death cannot keep up with Chuck Norris’s throughput of killing.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Computers are useless because they can only give you answers. Chuck Norris is
not useless, because he knows the questions which these answers belong to.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck Norris is [Vito Corleone](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vito_Corleone)’s
godfather.

    -- ZadYree
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck Norris will kill everyone who has not read these factoids. Slowly and
painfully.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
Chuck Norris could have built the Roman Empire in a day. And it would have
taken him even less time to destroy it.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ )
%
In Soviet Russia, superstition believes in you.

    -- Sawyer X
    -- Post to the Israeli Perl Mongers List ( http://mail.perl.org.il/pipermail/perl/2012-September/012757.html )
%
In Soviet Russia, cats own you. No, wait! Cats own you everywhere.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- “In Soviet Russia” Factoids ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/In-Soviet-Russia/ )
%
In Soviet Russia, joke is tired of you.

    -- apeiron
    -- “In Soviet Russia” Factoids ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/In-Soviet-Russia/ )
%
In Soviet Russia, food tastes YOU!

    -- Leuthihi
    -- “In Soviet Russia” Factoids ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/In-Soviet-Russia/ )
%
In Soviet Russia, government is afraid of you!

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- “In Soviet Russia” Factoids ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/In-Soviet-Russia/ )
%
In Soviet Russia, meme uses You!

    -- Volis
    -- “In Soviet Russia” Factoids ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/In-Soviet-Russia/ )
%
In Soviet Russia, garbage collects you.

    -- mucker
    -- “In Soviet Russia” Factoids ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/In-Soviet-Russia/ )
%
Buffy will always find a wooden stake to slay vampires, even if it means she
will have travelled 100 years back in time, to plant a tree nearby.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Buffy Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Buffy/ )
%
Buffy Summers does not really need stakes to slay vampires, because her kisses
are deadly for them. And that includes those that she blows in the air.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Buffy Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Buffy/ )
%
The Chuck Norris of the Buffyverse, has been secretly training under Buffy’s
supervision, and so far — lost every battle with her.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Buffy Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Buffy/ )
%
Buffy is so hot, that you would totally love to fight her. And lose.

    -- Dan Dascalescu
    -- Buffy Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Buffy/ )
%
Buffy Summers is not afraid of demons. Demons are afraid of her. And for a
very good reason.

    -- Dov Levenglick and Shlomi Fish
    -- Buffy Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Buffy/ )
%
Clarissa Darling can start from “I think therefore I am” and prove that the
grass is green, that there are about 365 days in a year, and that Isaac Newton
formulated the Law of Gravitation back in 1687.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Clarissa Darling Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Clarissa/ )
%
Gödel’s Incompleteness Theorem is about to be replaced by the [Clarissa]
Darling “Like, Totally!” Completeness Theorem.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Clarissa Darling Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Clarissa/ )
%
Clarissa Darling will win over Chuck Norris in a battle of wits.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Clarissa Darling Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Clarissa/ )
%
* Larry Wall can understand the Perl code he wrote last year.

* Larry Wall gets the colon.

* There are at least 137 Larry Walls in the U.S. but only one that matters.

* Larry Wall applies a patch manually quicker than GNU patch.

* Larry Wall dreams in Perl.

* Larry Wall can program in his sleep.

* Larry Wall is lazy, impatient and full of hubris.

* Larry Wall has more dollars in the bank than in his Perl code.

-- Larry Wall facts by Shlomi Fish

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Shlomif Fish’s "Larry Wall Facts" ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Larry-Wall/ )
%
* Larry Wall *does* know all of Perl. However, he pretends to be wrong or
misinformed, so people will think he's not as awesome as he really is.

* Larry Wall's pure-Perl code is faster than Assembly.

* Larry Wall has been changing the world. By modifying its very source code.

-- Larry Wall facts by Shlomi Fish

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Shlomif Fish’s "Larry Wall Facts" ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Larry-Wall/ )
%
* Larry Wall can make shit up, and the computer will understand what he means.

-- Larry Wall facts by Shlomi Fish

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- Shlomif Fish’s “Larry Wall Facts” ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Larry-Wall/ )
%
The NSA don’t publish. They perish.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- NSA Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/NSA/ )
%
The NSA employs the largest number of mathematicians with Ph.Ds. And the most
stupid and incompetent ones.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- NSA Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/NSA/ )
%
The NSA has a patent for an efficient process for collecting a lot of
information and doing nothing with it.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- NSA Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/NSA/ )
%
The Bajoran scholars have positively identified Benjamin Sisko as The
Emissary. They also positively identified the NSA headquarters as The Dungeon.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- NSA Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/NSA/ )
%
One of /Buffy the Vampire Slayer/’s episodes took place in the NSA
headquarters, but had to be destroyed, because all of the test audience had
uncontrollable panic attacks.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- NSA Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/NSA/ )
%
The NSA knows what you did last summer. But no one, in the NSA or outside it,
knows why they should.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- NSA Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/NSA/ )
%
With the NSA’s budget you would expect evil to be extinct by now. (By Kika).

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- NSA Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/NSA/ )
%
Think of the most incompetent organisation possible. The NSA would be more
even more incompetent than that.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- NSA Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/NSA/ )
%
The NSA headquarters are the unhappiest place on Earth.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- NSA Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/NSA/ )
%
*Yogurt:* “Never overestimate the power of the NSA.”

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- NSA Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/NSA/ )
%
First the NSA ignores “silly” Internet memes, then they laugh at them, then
they are unable to fight them, and then they lose.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- NSA Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/NSA/ )
%
The NSA is an intelligence agency which thinks it can use Artificial
Ultra-Stupidity (AUS) to wade through tons of irrelevant information and reach
genuine understanding.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- NSA Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/NSA/ )
%
Your next job after one in [@NSACareers](http://twitter.com/NSACareers), will
be as a dead corpse in a coffin, 6 feet underground, or as a patient in a
psychiatric ward.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- NSA Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/NSA/ )
%
Hackers bend the rules, so the NSA hates them. Instead, the NSA accumulates
rules, observes them, and accepts their fate: death.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- NSA Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/NSA/ )
%
XSLT is the worst thing since non-sliced bread.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ )
%
Mothers used to tell their children stories about XSLT to scare them.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ )
%
XSLT is the number one cause of programmers' suicides since Visual Basic 1.0.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ )
%
The X in XSLT stands for eXtermination.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ )
%
The only things worse than XSLT are Excel and Sugar-Less Tea (XSLT).

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ )
%
XSLT is what Chuck Norris has nightmares of.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ )
%
Confucius says: "XSLT made me realise humanity was hopeless.".

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ )
%
Even APL won't make friends with XSLT.

    -- Zuu
    -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ )
%
God considered using XSLT as the tenth plague of Egypt, but then thought it
was too evil.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ )
%
In Soviet Russia, XSLT codes you. Badly!

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ )
%
Satan condemned Hitler for a million years of writing XSLT.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ )
%
The KGB used to torture their victims by having them look at scrolling XSLT
code.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ )
%
"My name is Inigo Montoya. You forced my father to write XSLT. Prepare to die!
And be thankful I don't force you to write XSLT."

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ )
%
Stray XSLT code causes more deaths than road accidents.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ )
%
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evil redirects to XSLT.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ )
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We have nothing to fear but fear itself. Fear has nothing to fear but XSLT.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ )
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The devil created a 10th circle of hell for the inventors of XSLT, because the
first nine circles were too mild for them.

    -- Shlomi Fish
    -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ )
