God signs people into the book of life using a pen that Chuck Norris gave him.
Author | Shlomi Fish |
Work | Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends |
Windows Update doesn’t.
Author | Shlomi Fish |
Work | Windows Update Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends |
Aesop originally wanted to write his fable as “The Hare and Windows Update” instead of “The Hare and the Tortoise” but could not figure out how the hare will ever lose to Windows Update, even despite him not taking the race seriously.
Author | Shlomi Fish |
Work | Windows Update Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends |
By the time it takes Windows Update to download a 22 MB update without installing it, Mageia Linux’s urpmi was already able to download and install a game whose package is 900 MB (and there was still a lot of time to spare).
Author | Shlomi Fish |
Work | Windows Update Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends |
Only three things are infinite: the universe, human stupidity, and the amount of patience that Windows Update requires.
Author | Shlomi Fish |
Work | Windows Update Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends |
Windows Update does not take forever to finish updating your computer. It takes at least forever and two weeks.
Author | Shlomi Fish |
Work | Windows Update Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends |
Ten measures of slowness went down to the world. Windows Update required at least eleven, so more had to be provided.
Author | Shlomi Fish |
Work | Windows Update Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends |
rindolf | In fc-solve's C source code I have 2,738 "const"s vs. 1,521 "if"s |
rindolf | and I have 1,344 "int"s |
imode | that's 5,376 bytes! |
Felishia | rindolf, D: |
Felishia | how can you have 0,738 of a constant? |
rindolf | Felishia: 2,738 consts |
rindolf | Felishia: over 2 thousand |
rindolf | Felishia: it's not a decimal dot |
Felishia | but you put a comma there |
Felishia | it's a decimal comma |
rindolf | Felishia: yes, for the thousands |
Felishia | no for the thousands it's a dot |
rindolf | Felishia: no, not in English. |
rindolf | or in Hebrew |
Felishia | D: wat |
schally | I have 0.738 of a const |
schally | because it only appears with certain typedefs |
rindolf | shakalaka: good for you! |
schally | or #defines rather |
rindolf | schally: can I borrow 0.002 of a const? |
schally | rindolf: go ahead |
rindolf | schally: thanks! |
rindolf | Hmmm... I gave 1,156 "endif"s - lots of preprocessor stuff. :-( |
rindolf | and I have 1,102 "instance"s |
Felishia | rindolf, what a bad code! ewwww! |
Felishia | such a bad C grammar |
rindolf | I have 864 "void"s |
rindolf | Felishia: only 1,145 "endif"s now after I extracted a macro |
rindolf | 1,140 "endif"s now |
rindolf | Felishia: 1,128 "endif"s now! |
Felishia | rindolf, you gotta bring it down to 2 D: |
rindolf | Felishia: heh. |
Felishia | if windows... if unix... |
rindolf | Felishia: I have #ifdef _cplusplus extern "C" { #endif on every header |
rindolf | 45 files changed, 1904 insertions(+), 2306 deletions(-) |
rindolf | ====> what a day |
Felishia | rindolf, what you only commit once a day |
rindolf | Felishia: no. |
rindolf | Felishia: this is git diff --stat |
Channel | ##programming |
Network | Freenode |
Tagline | The end of the endifs is not so near |
* bizarrefish | was in malaysia last year :D |
bizarrefish | It's quite nice |
bizarrefish | Very friendly people |
differentMonster | bizarrefish : what about you ? well malaysia is hot as hell. |
bizarrefish | I am in the UK, which is not hot |
bizarrefish | Malaysia was for a work trip |
bizarrefish | Was pretty cool |
bizarrefish | I think it's cool how Malaysian children stared at me |
bizarrefish | (I'm 6'4 and white) |
bizarrefish | Chinese people stare as well. I like that they find me so interesting. |
Yuken | bizarrefish, if a Japanese guy passed through a rural African village where everyone is black and 6'+ |
Yuken | he'd probably be stared at as well! :p |
bizarrefish | heh |
differentMonster | bizarrefish : XD we will find you interesting for sure ~ |
bizarrefish | 6ft4in is quite tall, even in the UK. It's a shame nobody feels like they can stare |
bizarrefish | heh |
differentMonster | bizarrefish :cause you be different if you dont wear or sound like we do. |
Yuken | bizarrefish, what if they have a height fetish and start staring at you ominously? |
Yuken | :^) |
bizarrefish | When I go to very different countries, I just worry that I might accidentally be rude. |
Myrl-saki | bizarrefish: your rude |
bizarrefish | Yuken: Then let them stare :) I'm happy for them to. Just no touchy :D |
bizarrefish | Myrl-saki: I'm sorry ;.; |
* Yuken | slowly moves to the UK and stalks bizarrefish then. |
bizarrefish | Myrl-saki: You can touch me if that makes it okay again |
Myrl-saki | bizarrefish: your lewd |
* rindolf | touches bizarrefish |
bizarrefish | Ah |
differentMonster | bizaarrefish : like no touching , you break it you buy it XD |
rindolf | using the unix touch command |
bizarrefish | Why would you want to stalk a British person? We don't even have health insurance |
bizarrefish | touch rindolf |
bizarrefish | sudo touch rindolf |
rindolf | bizarrefish: touchée! |
bizarrefish | while true; do touch rindolf; done |
rindolf | bizarrefish: you are not in the sudoers list |
Yuken | This incident has been reported. |
Myrl-saki | lol |
* bizarrefish | removes HDD, plugs into other computer, chroot, touch rindolf |
rindolf | bizarrefish: heh, you're insistent |
rindolf | bizarrefish: what if the partitions are encrypted? |
bizarrefish | rindolf: I don't have to touch you in your home directory. I can touch you anywhere. In multiple places. |
bizarrefish | cd /tmp; touch rindolf |
rindolf | bizarrefish: that's the RealRindolf™! |
rindolf | bizarrefish: I only have one place in the file system. |
rindolf | OneTruePath™! |
bizarrefish | MakeTmpGreatAgain(TM)! |
rindolf | bizarrefish: nice |
rindolf | bizarrefish: heh |
rindolf | bizarrefish: tmp was never great! |
Channel | ##programming |
Network | Freenode |
rindolf | Rashad: generalised Freecell was shown to be NP-complete |
Rashad | NP-complete means? |
rindolf | Rashad: here? |
Rashad | Yup. |
Rashad | Just came back. |
rindolf | Rashad: did you read about NP-completeness? |
Rashad | Nope. |
Rashad | What is it? |
rindolf | Rashad: see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NP-completeness |
Rashad | Too much math. |
Rashad | On wikipedia. |
rindolf | Rashad: see http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/fortunes/show.cgi?id=memoir-from-a-Physics-lesson-in-the-9th-grade |
Rashad | rindolf: Sometimes formality can make things more complex than they really are. |
rindolf | Rashad: true |
Rashad | rindolf: Can you give me a simple introduction? |
rindolf | Rashad: well, do you know what polynomial time is? |
Rashad | No. |
rindolf | Rashad: hmmm... |
Rashad | I know what a polynomial is. |
Rashad | Is this related to the BigO notation? |
rindolf | Rashad: yes. |
rindolf | Rashad: polynomial time is O(P(N)) where P(N) is a polynomial of N |
Rashad | OK. |
Rashad | I am trying to think of an exaple.. |
Rashad | example* |
sbrg | two nested loops |
rindolf | Rashad: so it can be O(n^2) or O(n) or O(n*log(n)) or even O(n**100) |
Rashad | Aha. |
Rashad | What is 'n'? Number of operations? |
Rashad | Umm. |
Rashad | Probably not. |
rindolf | Rashad: the length of the input |
Rashad | Yeah that makes sense. |
rindolf | Rashad: ok. |
Rashad | I remember stuff about search algorithms. |
Rashad | n is the number of entries in an array, for example. |
sbrg | yep |
rindolf | Rashad: now, some problems's *verification algorithm* is polynomial and these problemms are called "NP" |
Rashad | Verification algorithm? |
rindolf | Rashad: verification means you verify that the solution is correct after given one. |
Rashad | Aha. |
sbrg | Rashad: for example, if I give you a list and tell you that it's sorted, you can verify in polynomial time that it is correct |
sbrg | by simply checking each pair of elements |
Rashad | A solution in freecell is a series of moves? |
rindolf | Rashad: yes |
Rashad | sbrg: I see. |
Rashad | OK so NP *complete* means? |
rindolf | Rashad: now, some problems are NP-hard which means that each of them can be used to solve any problem in NP after a polynomial transformation. |
sbrg | and NP complete are problems which are both in NP and NP-hard |
rindolf | Rashad: yes, what sbrg said, |
sbrg | so, NP: a problem that, when given a solution, you can verify that it is correct in polynomial time |
sbrg | NP-hard: a class of problems that can be converted to each other |
Rashad | OK. |
Rashad | OK. |
Rashad | So NP-hard does not imply NP? |
rindolf | Rashad: no, not necessarily |
kadoban | No, problems that are harder than NP are in NP-hard too |
Rashad | Ahhh |
Rashad | Now that makes sense. |
Rashad | *at least NP hard* |
rindolf | Rashad: for instance, the Halting Problem is NP hard. |
Rashad | OK now everything is in place for me. |
rindolf | Rashad: good |
kadoban | It gets complicated because we don't know the actual hard relationships between many of the complexity classes, like we don't actually know if P = NP or if there are problems in NP that aren't in P. Which leads to the famous question you've likely heard of. |
Rashad | But I am interested by how you can map NP-hard problems from one to the other. |
rindolf | Rashad: there's a 1 million USD prize for proving whether P is NP or not, |
Rashad | kadoban: It got pretty philosophical fast :P |
Rashad | P = ? |
rindolf | Rashad: P is the class of polynomial problem,s |
kadoban | P, the complexity class above, which is problems you can solve in polynomial time on a deterministic turing machine. |
Rashad | I am a bit confused now.. |
kadoban | NP, problems you can verify solutions to in polynomial time on a deterministic turing machine. |
Rashad | OK so NP is about verification, P is about solving. Correct? |
rindolf | Rashad: well yes, but you often want to find good solutions for NP problems |
Rashad | What do you mean? |
kadoban | Correct, though that's really just a definition used for picking which complexity class. In general we're still interested in getting the answer to problems in NP |
Rashad | Ah. |
sbrg | Rashad: P is the class of problems that can be *solved* in polynomial time. NP is the class of problems *whose solution can be verified* in polynomial time. |
Rashad | So the concern is: Can you find a solution to NP problems faster than you can verify the given solution? |
sbrg | Rashad: Assuming you mean "faster or as fast", well.. you just asked whether P = NP |
Rashad | I see. |
sbrg | if you have an answer to that question, someone will give you a million dollars |
Rashad | But how is that not a philosophical question, though? |
Rashad | Let me rephrase that. |
kadoban | It depends, what's a "philosophical question"? |
sbrg | kadoban: that is ^ |
sbrg | lol |
Rashad | Wouldn't a solution imply a way to verify it? |
kadoban | But if you're asking if it has practical consequences, it does, potentially. |
sbrg | Rashad: Well, take sudoku as an example |
Rashad | OK! |
sbrg | If I give you a solved sudoku, how long would it take for you to verify it? |
Rashad | kadoban: What kind of consequences? |
sbrg | it's the same every time. you just make sure that 1 to 9 appears in all rows, columns and boxes |
Rashad | sbrg: OK |
sbrg | however, does seeing the solution tell you how you solve it? |
sbrg | How as in, which steps |
Rashad | OK that's exactly what I am asking. |
kadoban | Rashad: For example if P = NP, then quite a lot of cryptography isn't very well founded. That would mean there were "quick" (in one way of speaking) algorithms to solve hard problems that crypto relies on, such as discrete logarithm and integer factorization. |
Rashad | How do you get an answer that is not completely random that in the same process of figuring it out you are unable to replicate the same logic into how you verify it? |
Rashad | And we're still talking about computers here so I am not sure if Newton's apple aha moment counts... |
Gamah | Rashad: sometimes it's easier to assert the validity a solution (P) than it is to explain it (NP) |
Gamah | or... those reversed |
Gamah | i forget. |
sbrg | Rashad: well, how easy is it to verify a sudoku? it's very easy. it's the same steps every time. however, does that knowledge of the rules of the game allow you to also solve the puzzle in an equal number of moves it took you to verify it? |
Rashad | sbrg: The solution however is ultimately guided by the rules of verification. |
Gamah | sbrg: poorly formed... technically speaking it can be easier to solve some given sudoko puzzles than it is to verify they are solved |
Rashad | Unless it is a complete shot in the dark. |
sbrg | Gamah: and there are lists that are already sorted. that doesn't change the lower bound for sorting. what's your point? |
sbrg | Rashad: Yes, it is. so one would think that it would be possible |
sbrg | and as Gamah pointed out, some sudokus are very easy to solve, while others are much harder |
Gamah | Rashad: no p |
Gamah | :P |
sbrg | the question is whether you can give an algorithm that guarantees that you can solve every sudoku within some time limit(in terms of the size of the input) that performs no more steps than you would verifying a sudoku |
Gamah | sbrg: i'm saying you can't apply the act of solving and the act of verifying a "solved" sudoko to p=np because in the space of sudoku, either task could be on either side of the equation |
Gamah | define "steps" |
Gamah | because it always takes less steps to solve than verify... from some perspective |
Rashad | rindolf: So solitaire is O(n)? |
sbrg | Gamah: you don't seem to understand complexity theory. we're talking about sudokus in general. I can verify *any* sudoku in some bounded polynomial time |
Rashad | Ah sorry, I meant verifying a solitaire solution is O(n)*. |
Gamah | you can also solve any sudoku |
sbrg | the question is whether I can somehow use the rules of verification to help me create a solution in at most as much time as it would take me to verify it. i.e. P vs NP |
workmad3 | iirc, np-complete problems are ones where verifying a solution is polynomial time, but calculating a solution is non-polynomial |
rindolf | Rashad: there are many variants of card solitaire |
Gamah | sbrg: but the number of sudoku permetations and soultions is not unbound... |
rindolf | Rashad: generalised Freecell is NP-complete |
rindolf | Rashad: which assumes you have n ranks of cards insetad of 13 (ace-to-king) |
sbrg | Gamah: for a 9x9 sudoku, no, obviously not. but we are talking about sudoku in general |
Gamah | hmm. |
sbrg | Rashad: at any rate, the point is that we just don't know whether we can use the information that lets us verify solutions in polynomial time to also construct solutions in polynomial time |
Gamah | i feel like sudoku is still a search problem (IE: rainbow table) |
Gamah | and not really applicable |
workmad3 | Gamah: and how long would it take you to compute that rainbow table? |
sbrg | by your logic, I can solve any problem that way. |
sbrg | i can just create a database of all sorted lists. |
Gamah | sure... |
sbrg | .. just like i can create a database of all sudokus. if we fix n, then yes, it is bounded and you can just solve it in constant time. |
kadoban | sbrg: Well, not really, you still have lookup time. |
kadoban | Oh, for fixed n I guess that doesn't matter. |
sbrg | constant time where a unit is defined to be the lookup time |
sbrg | there you go! |
Gamah | workmad3: that would depend on how well i could optimize the verification algo |
sbrg | it's all about context |
workmad3 | sbrg: well, you can solve it in constant time, assuming the existence of an oracle :) |
Gamah | the $1m question just says "a computer" and "in polynomial time" |
Gamah | it doesn't say i can't spend years precomputing the search space |
Gamah | :) |
sbrg | i don't think you understand what P vs NP means |
workmad3 | Gamah: assuming the existence of an oracle is generally not classed as a solution to P vs NP |
Gamah | i thought the smiley implied i was being pedantic |
workmad3 | Gamah: otherwise it would have been solved years ago :P |
Gamah | workmad3: well i was just going to use oracle DB |
Gamah | :) |
Channel | ##programming |
Network | Freenode |
rindolf | Hi all. |
bkeys | Hello rindolf |
rindolf | bkeys: sup? |
bkeys | Messing with docker still |
bkeys | I hate it but there is no better option |
bkeys | yourself? |
rindolf | bkeys: I fixed Freecell Solver on ARM linux. |
rindolf | bkeys: turns out "char"s in C are unsigned there by default. |
bkeys | I thought this was always the case |
rindolf | bkeys: they are signed on x86 |
bkeys | I did not know this |
ExpiredPopsicle | Protip: uint8_t and int8_t exist. Use them. :P |
rindolf | bkeys: ah. |
bkeys | I almost never use chars directly |
rindolf | ExpiredPopsicle: I know |
bkeys | Most of the time C++ data structures are good enough |
ExpiredPopsicle | Sign extending a char to an int can ruin your day. |
bkeys | Then ints and floats |
BlackMoon | rindolf: so you actually have to type signed char? :) |
BlackMoon | weird. |
ExpiredPopsicle | Or you could just use int8_t. |
BlackMoon | neverah |
rindolf | BlackMoon: yes |
BlackMoon | you can take my poorly defined types from my cold, dead, typedefed hands |
ExpiredPopsicle | pfft |
rindolf | BlackMoon: or use the -fsigned-char compiler flag |
BlackMoon | 'build procedure: use more obscure flags' |
ExpiredPopsicle | -O9999999999999999999999999999999999 |
BlackMoon | -O911 |
ExpiredPopsicle | Performance problems solved! |
BlackMoon | activate emergency optimizations! |
ExpiredPopsicle | Also I accidentally made the optimizer sentient. We're all doomed. |
BlackMoon | nah we'r find just so long as.. oh, you showed it some of your source code too? Well no wonder it wants to end all human life |
ExpiredPopsicle | You know how the optimizer figures out how some code is unneeded and just deletes it? |
ExpiredPopsicle | It did that with humans. |
BlackMoon | or stuffed us all into a lib somewhere, never to be linked with again |
ExpiredPopsicle | We have been simplified down to a 32-bit constant: 0x4655434B |
* rindolf | survived |
BlackMoon | I will not be typecast! |
BlackMoon | I am a cHuman! NOT A NUMBER! AND DEFINATELY NOT A VOID* |
Type-21 | >DEFINATELY |
BlackMoon | I hope the compilers come for you first Type-21 |
Type-21 | i'm already lost |
Type-21 | the compilers are flowing through me |
BlackMoon | resistance is futile, you will be compil error on line 53, invalid type-21 |
BlackFox | I'm defiantly a void |
* rindolf | got transpiled into JavaScript |
Type-21 | aren't the kids these days doing coffescript or typescript or something? |
Channel | #reddit-gamedev |
Network | Freenode |
rindolf | Hi all |
rindolf | Sup? |
Zuu | Hi rindolf and Thymo :> |
Zuu | Merry weekend :> |
rindolf | Zuu: hi |
Zuu | How goes it? |
rindolf | Zuu: fine - working on cpan modules |
Thymo | Hey. |
rindolf | Zuu: perls before swine |
Thymo | Is GitHub up for you guys? |
rindolf | Thymo: it was a while ago |
Zuu | rindolf, do you happen to know if theres some sort of perl to C transformer tool? |
Zuu | there's this exif tool written in perl, and it's just nuts that its not in C :P |
rindolf | Zuu: you can embed Perl code in C code |
Zuu | ofcourse, if i wanted to have the entire interpreter on board |
Zuu | anyways, i take it as a "no, i dont know of such a thing" :) |
Thymo | status.github.com |
Thymo | They just got a major outage. |
Zuu | ouch |
Thymo | Server availability just dropped to 0%. |
Zuu | maybe the student worker accidentally altered the DNS records :P |
Thymo | It had major outages yesterday. |
Zuu | Maybe they have two student workers :P |
Zuu | Or DoS... |
Thymo | The servers are still up. They're serving a 503 page. |
Zuu | or government attack :O |
Zuu | no, wait! The aliens have landed! |
rindolf | Zuu: heh |
Zuu | or maybe little bobby 0; DROP TABLES; -- have visited |
Thymo | SSH is still up. |
Thymo | But hangs as soon as it connects. |
* Zuu | starts playing the intro theme for X-Files |
Zuu | Thymo, We've got to solve this mystery |
Thymo | Let's ping -f them to see when they'll get back up. :p |
Zuu | i will help by making fun of things :> |
Zuu | to make sure we're doing a reliable ping, i think we need to ping it from several places |
Zuu | say... from a large scale botnet |
rindolf | Zuu: heh |
Zuu | you know... to see if it has come up yet :P |
rindolf | Zuu: you've been making me laugh now |
Zuu | :D |
Zuu | Welcome to ##Fun :> |
Channel | ##fun |
Network | Freenode |
Kake_Fisk | Any cool JetBrains programs I should try out except for CLion? |
rindolf | Kake_Fisk: I wish JetBrains would have sold and developed one IDE instead of several variations on the same one. |
Kake_Fisk | Yeah! |
Kake_Fisk | Will probably happen in the future. Visual Studio were also like that at one point if I recall correctly |
q_q | am i only the one who thinks pycharm is a heap of shit? |
Kake_Fisk | q_q: Well, I couldn't even get pycharm to work |
kadoban | q_q: I dunno, everyone seems to love it. Never tried it. |
Channel | ##programming |
Network | Freenode |
sir_galahad_ad | o/ |
vdamewood | sir_galahad_ad: \o |
alvanson | \o/ |
rindolf | sir_galahad_ad: hi. |
alvanson | \o/ |v| o= /o\ |
rindolf | sir_galahad_ad: sup? |
sir_galahad_ad | hi rindolf not much is up, working on learning mysql |
rindolf | sir_galahad_ad: ah |
rindolf | sir_galahad_ad: I'm still feeling ill |
rindolf | sir_galahad_ad: well, yesterday and the day before were better |
sir_galahad_ad | i'm sorry rindolf :( |
rindolf | sir_galahad_ad: thanks! |
rindolf | sir_galahad_ad: it's most likely not your fault |
sir_galahad_ad | butterflies... |
vdamewood | rindolf: I've been secretly adding arsenic to your coffee. Is that why you're sick? |
rindolf | vdamewood: :-) heh , I don't drink coffee |
rindolf | vdamewood: perhaps you also added that coffee with arsenic to my water |
vdamewood | Then whose coffee was it? |
Channel | ##programming |
Network | Freenode |
The only reason some jokes never die is because Chuck Norris is not interested in killing them.
Author | Shlomi Fish |
Work | Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends |
The Knights Who Say “Ni” said “Ni” to Chuck Norris. They are now no longer The Knights Who Say “Ni”.
Author | Shlomi Fish |
Work | Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends |
ChrisWarrick | ks |
ChrisWarrick | sorry, wrong tab |
rindolf | ChrisWarrick: I can never forgive you for using the wrong tab! ;-) J/K - everything's cool. |
FMan | however, there is a wrong tab tax payable to me |
ChrisWarrick | rindolf: (arguably, wrong machine/screen/app/everything, because that went to irssi on screen 1 instead of the windows vm on screen 2) |
rindolf | FMan: heh |
rindolf | ChrisWarrick: you will go to hell for using the wrong window! |
rindolf | ChrisWarrick: no redemption for you! |
Zuu | rindolf, you mean, no christmas presents? |
rindolf | Zuu: no Chanukkah coins either! |
Zuu | Ohnoes! :O |
* rindolf | is away |
Zuu | He's hiding all the Chanukkah coins, i just know it! |
Channel | ##programming |
Network | Freenode |
Don’t use a big word when a singularly unloquacious and diminutive linguistic expression will satisfactorily accomplish the contemporary necessity.
Author | Ultimate Giggles |
Work | Facebook Post |
It’s better to have loved and lost than to never have lost at all.
Author | Samuel Butler (Unsourced) |
Work | Unknown |
Zuu_ | My monitor is noisy! |
* Zuu_ | blames all of you |
rindolf | Zuu_: guilty as charged! I made your monitor noisy because I hate you |
Zuu_ | Arrrr *shakes fist at Evil rindolf* |
rindolf | Zuu_: it was a late EvilChristmas present |
* Zuu_ | wraps it back up, and sends it back to santa :P |
Channel | ##programming |
Network | Freenode |