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Nadav Har’El Signatures - Fortunes Cookies - Shlomi Fish’s Collection

About

Quotes from Nadav Har’El’s signatures. They were extracted using a script.

Table of Contents

The Fortunes Themselves

"A mathematician is a device for turning

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"A mathematician is a device for turning
coffee into theorems" -- P. Erdos

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

"A witty saying proves nothing." --

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"A witty saying proves nothing." --
Voltaire

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

"Arguing with nyh just doesn't pay off."

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"Arguing with nyh just doesn't pay off."
-- Muli Ben-Yehuda, Linux-il list

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

"Computers are useless. They can only

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"Computers are useless. They can only
give you answers." -- Pablo Picasso

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

"Did you sleep well?" "No, I made a

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"Did you sleep well?" "No, I made a
couple of mistakes."

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

"Do you want to restart Windows now or

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"Do you want to restart Windows now or
wait for the next crash?"

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

"God is dead." - Nietzsche; "Nietzsche is

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"God is dead." - Nietzsche; "Nietzsche is
dead" - God

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

"How could we possibly use sex to get

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"How could we possibly use sex to get
what we want? Sex IS what we want!" Fraser

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

"I don't use drugs, my dreams are

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"I don't use drugs, my dreams are
frightening enough." -- M. C. Escher

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

"I'll doublecross that bridge when I come

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"I'll doublecross that bridge when I come
to it" (a politician about the future)

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

"Luck is when preparation meets

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"Luck is when preparation meets
opportunity." - Richard Sherman

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

"Mommy! The garbage man is here!" "Well,

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"Mommy! The garbage man is here!" "Well,
tell him we don't want any!"- Groucho Marx

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

"Never be afraid to tell the world who

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"Never be afraid to tell the world who
you are." -- Anonymous

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

"Outlook not so good." Wow! That magic 8-

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"Outlook not so good." Wow! That magic 8-
ball knows everything! So, what about IE?

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

"There is no system but GNU, and Linux is

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"There is no system but GNU, and Linux is
one of its kernels" -- Richard Stallman

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

"[I'm] so full of action, my name should

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"[I'm] so full of action, my name should
be a verb" -- Big Daddy Kane ("Raw", 1987)

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

(On the back of a VW Beetle) Don't honk,

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(On the back of a VW Beetle) Don't honk,
I'm peddling as fast as I can.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

:(){ :|:&};: # DANGER: DO NOT run this,

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:(){ :|:&};: # DANGER: DO NOT run this,
unless you REALLY know what you're doing!

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

A Life? Cool! Where can I download one of

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A Life? Cool! Where can I download one of
those from?

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

A Nobel Peace Prize? I would KILL for one

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A Nobel Peace Prize? I would KILL for one
of those.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

A bird in the hand is safer than one

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A bird in the hand is safer than one
overhead.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

A cat has claws ending its paws. A

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A cat has claws ending its paws. A
sentence has a pause ending its clause.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

A city is a large community where people

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A city is a large community where people
are lonesome together.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

A computer program does what you tell it

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A computer program does what you tell it
to do, not what you want it to do.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

A computer without Microsoft is like a

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A computer without Microsoft is like a
chocolate cake without mustard.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

A conclusion is simply the place where

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A conclusion is simply the place where
you got tired of thinking.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

A conscience does not prevent sin. It

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A conscience does not prevent sin. It
only prevents you from enjoying it.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

A diplomat thinks twice before saying

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A diplomat thinks twice before saying
nothing.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

A facility for quotation covers the

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A facility for quotation covers the
absence of original thought.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

A fanatic is one who can't change his

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A fanatic is one who can't change his
mind and won't change the subject.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is

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A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is
a fine for doing well.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

A good programmer is someone who looks

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A good programmer is someone who looks
both ways before crossing a one-way street.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

A language is a dialect with an army.

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A language is a dialect with an army.


        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

A man is incomplete until he is married.

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A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

A man with a watch knows what time it is.

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A man with a watch knows what time it is.
A man with two watches is never sure.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

A messy desk is a sign of a messy mind.

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A messy desk is a sign of a messy mind.
An empty desk is a sign of an empty mind.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

A professor is one who talks in someone

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A professor is one who talks in someone
else's sleep.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

A smart man always covers his ass. A wise

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A smart man always covers his ass. A wise
man just keeps his pants on.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

A thing is not necessarily true because a

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A thing is not necessarily true because a
man dies for it. - Oscar Wilde

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

AAAAA: the American Association for the

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AAAAA: the American Association for the
Abolition of Abbreviations and Acronyms

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

AlGoreithm, n: Repeating a calculation

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AlGoreithm, n: Repeating a calculation
until a prior desired result is produced.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Alarm clock: A device to wake people

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Alarm clock: A device to wake people
without small kids.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

All those who believe in psychokinesis,

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All those who believe in psychokinesis,
raise my hand.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Always borrow money from pessimists. They

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Always borrow money from pessimists. They
don't expect to be paid back.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Always go to other people's funerals,

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Always go to other people's funerals,
otherwise they won't come to yours.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Always keep your words soft and sweet,

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Always keep your words soft and sweet,
just in case you have to eat them.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Always remember you're unique, just like

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Always remember you're unique, just like
everyone else.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

An Apple a day, keeps Windows away.

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An Apple a day, keeps Windows away.


        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. An

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. An
onion a day keeps everyone away!

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

An egotist is a person of low taste, more

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An egotist is a person of low taste, more
interested in himself than in me.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

An error? Impossible! My modem is error

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An error? Impossible! My modem is error
correcting.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

And now for some feedback:

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And now for some feedback:
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Anyone who quotes me in their sig is an

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Anyone who quotes me in their sig is an
idiot. -- Rusty Russell's sig.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Are you still here? The message is over.

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Are you still here? The message is over.
Shoo! Go away!

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a

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As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a
cat.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

As far as we know, our computer has never

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As far as we know, our computer has never
had an undetected error.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Attention: There will be a rain dance

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Attention: There will be a rain dance
Friday night, weather permitting.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Bank, n: a place that will lend you money

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Bank, n: a place that will lend you money
if you can prove that you don't need it.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Bigamy: Having one wife too many.

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Bigamy: Having one wife too many.
Monogamy: The same thing!

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Birthdays are good for you - the more you

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Birthdays are good for you - the more you
have the longer you live.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Boat: A hole in the water surrounded by

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Boat: A hole in the water surrounded by
wood into which one pours money.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Bore, n.: A person who talks when you

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Bore, n.: A person who talks when you
wish him to listen.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Bumper sticker on stealth bomber: "If you

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Bumper sticker on stealth bomber: "If you
can read this, we wasted a lot of money!"

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Bureaucracy, n: A method for transforming

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Bureaucracy, n: A method for transforming
energy into solid waste.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Business jargon is the art of saying

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Business jargon is the art of saying
nothing while appearing to say a lot.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Cat rule #2: Bite the hand that won't

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Cat rule #2: Bite the hand that won't
feed you fast enough.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get

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Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get
eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Cats aren't clean, they're just covered

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Cats aren't clean, they're just covered
with cat spit.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Cats know what we feel. They don't care,

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Cats know what we feel. They don't care,
but they know.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Cement mixer collided with a prison van.

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Cement mixer collided with a prison van.
Look out for sixteen hardened criminals.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Christopher Robin Hood steals from the

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Christopher Robin Hood steals from the
rich and gives to the Pooh.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Cigarette: tobacco wrapped in paper, fire

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Cigarette: tobacco wrapped in paper, fire
at one end, and a fool at the other.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Committee: A group of people that keeps

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Committee: A group of people that keeps
minutes and wastes hours.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Communism is the equal distribution of

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Communism is the equal distribution of
poverty.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Computers are like air conditioners. Both

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Computers are like air conditioners. Both
stop working if you open windows.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Corduroy pillows - they're making

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Corduroy pillows - they're making
headlines!

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Creativity consists of coming up with

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Creativity consists of coming up with
many ideas, not just that one great idea.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard

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Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard
this bull before.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Despite the cost of living, have you

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Despite the cost of living, have you
noticed how it remains so popular?

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Diplomat: A man who always remembers a

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Diplomat: A man who always remembers a
woman's birthday but never her age.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed above

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Disclaimer: The opinions expressed above
are not my own.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Does replacing myself with a shell-script

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Does replacing myself with a shell-script
make me impressive or insignificant?

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be

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Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be
replaced, you can't be promoted.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Drink varnish and you'll get a lovely

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Drink varnish and you'll get a lovely
finish.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Early bird gets the worm, but the second

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Early bird gets the worm, but the second
mouse gets the cheese.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Earth First! We can strip-mine the other

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Earth First! We can strip-mine the other
planets later...

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with

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Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with
battery.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Enjoy the new millennium; it might be

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Enjoy the new millennium; it might be
your last.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Entropy: Not just a fad, it's the future!

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Entropy: Not just a fad, it's the future!


        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter

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Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter
since nobody listens.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Experience is what causes a person to

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Experience is what causes a person to
make new mistakes instead of old ones.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Experience is what lets you recognize a

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Experience is what lets you recognize a
mistake when you make it again.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Fame: when your name is in everything but

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Fame: when your name is in everything but
the phone book.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

For people who like peace and quiet - a

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For people who like peace and quiet - a
phoneless cord.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

From the Linux getopt(3) manpage: "BUGS:

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From the Linux getopt(3) manpage: "BUGS:
This manpage is confusing."

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Give Yogi a rifle. Support your right to

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Give Yogi a rifle. Support your right to
arm bears!

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

God created the world out of nothing, but

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God created the world out of nothing, but
the nothingness still shows through.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Guarantee: this email is 100% free of

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Guarantee: this email is 100% free of
magnetic monopoles, or your money back!

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Happiness isn't getting what you want,

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Happiness isn't getting what you want,
it's wanting what you've got.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Hardware, n.: The parts of a computer

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Hardware, n.: The parts of a computer
system that can be kicked.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Having a smoking section in a restaurant

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Having a smoking section in a restaurant
is like having a peeing section in a pool

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

He who dies with the most toys is still

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He who dies with the most toys is still
dead -- Citibank billboard, Manhattan 2001

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

He who has more is not happier than he

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He who has more is not happier than he
who wants less.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Help Microsoft stamp out piracy. Give

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Help Microsoft stamp out piracy. Give
Linux to a friend today!

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to

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Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to
apply.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Hi! I'm a signature virus! Copy me into

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Hi! I'm a signature virus! Copy me into
your signature to help me spread!

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Hindsight is always 20:20

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Hindsight is always 20:20


        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Hospital: Where they wake you up to give

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Hospital: Where they wake you up to give
you a sleeping pill.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Hospitality: Making your guests feel at

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Hospitality: Making your guests feel at
home, even if you wish they were.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

How do you tell when a pineapple is ready

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How do you tell when a pineapple is ready
to eat? It picks up its knife and fork

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

How long a minute depends on what side of

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How long a minute depends on what side of
the bathroom door you're on.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if
a woodchuck would chuck wood?

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

How to become immortal: Read this

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How to become immortal: Read this
signature tomorrow and follow its advice.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

How's he gonna read that magazine rolled

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How's he gonna read that magazine rolled
up like that? What the ... - a fly.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

I am logged in, therefore I am.

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I am logged in, therefore I am.


        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

I am the world's greatest authority on my

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I am the world's greatest authority on my
own opinion.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

I am thinking about a new signature. Stay

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I am thinking about a new signature. Stay
tuned.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

I before E except after C. We live in a

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I before E except after C. We live in a
weird society!

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

I considered atheism but there weren't

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I considered atheism but there weren't
enough holidays.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

I couldn't afford a cool signature, so I

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I couldn't afford a cool signature, so I
just got this one.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

I couldn't think of an interesting

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I couldn't think of an interesting
signature to put here... Maybe next time.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

I don't eat snails. I prefer fast food.

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I don't eat snails. I prefer fast food.


        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

I don't live on the edge, but sometimes I

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I don't live on the edge, but sometimes I
go there to visit.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy

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I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy
every minute of it.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

I had a lovely evening. Unfortunately,

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I had a lovely evening. Unfortunately,
this wasn't it. - Groucho Marx

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

I have a great signature, but it won't

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I have a great signature, but it won't
fit at the end of this message -- Fermat

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

I have a watch cat! If someone breaks in,

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I have a watch cat! If someone breaks in,
she'll watch.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

I have an open mind - it's just closed

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I have an open mind - it's just closed
for repairs.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

I intend to live forever - so far, so

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I intend to live forever - so far, so
good.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing

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I love deadlines. I love the whooshing
sound they make as they go by.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up.

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I planted some bird seed. A bird came up.
Now I don't know what to feed it...

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

I put a dollar in one of those change

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I put a dollar in one of those change
machines. Nothing changed.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

I started out with nothing... I still

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I started out with nothing... I still
have most of it.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

I used to be a lumberjack, but I just

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I used to be a lumberjack, but I just
couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

I used to work in a pickle factory, until

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I used to work in a pickle factory, until
I got canned.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

I want to be a human being, not a human

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I want to be a human being, not a human
doing -- Scatman John

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

I want to live forever or die in the

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I want to live forever or die in the
attempt.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

I work for money. If you want loyalty,

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I work for money. If you want loyalty,
buy yourself a dog.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

I would give my right arm to be

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I would give my right arm to be
ambidextrous.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

I'm a peripheral visionary: I see into

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I'm a peripheral visionary: I see into
the future, but mostly off to the sides.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

If God had intended us to be vegetarians,

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If God had intended us to be vegetarians,
He wouldn't have made animals out of meat

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

If God is watching us, the least we can

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If God is watching us, the least we can
do is be entertaining.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

If I am not for myself, who will be for

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If I am not for myself, who will be for
me? If I am only for myself, who am I?

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing

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If I were two-faced, would I be wearing
this one?.... Abraham Lincoln

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

If Windows is the answer, you didn't

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If Windows is the answer, you didn't
understand the question.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

If a million Shakespeares tried to write

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If a million Shakespeares tried to write
together, they would write like a monkey.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving
is not for you.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

If con is the opposite of pro, is

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If con is the opposite of pro, is
congress the opposite of progress?

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

If glory comes after death, I'm not in a

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If glory comes after death, I'm not in a
hurry. (Latin proverb)

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

If marriage was illegal, only outlaws

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If marriage was illegal, only outlaws
would have in-laws.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

If the universe is expanding, why can't I

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If the universe is expanding, why can't I
find a parking space?

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it

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If you choke a Smurf, what color does it
turn?

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

If you drink, don't park; Accidents cause

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If you drink, don't park; Accidents cause
people.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

If you lost your left arm, your right arm

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If you lost your left arm, your right arm
would be left.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

If you tell the truth, you don't have to

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If you tell the truth, you don't have to
remember anything.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

If you're looking for a helping hand,

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If you're looking for a helping hand,
look first at the end of your arm.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

In Fortran, God is real unless declared

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In Fortran, God is real unless declared
an integer.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

In God we Trust -- all others must submit

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In God we Trust -- all others must submit
an X.509 certificate.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

In case of emergency, this box may be

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In case of emergency, this box may be
used as a quotation device.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated

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Isn't Disney World a people trap operated
by a mouse?

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

It is better to be thought a fool, then

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It is better to be thought a fool, then
to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

It's fortunate I have bad luck - without

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It's fortunate I have bad luck - without
it I would have no luck at all!

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

It's hard to fly like an eagle when

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It's hard to fly like an eagle when
you're surrounded by turkeys.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Jury: Twelve people who determine which

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Jury: Twelve people who determine which
client has the better lawyer.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Just remember that if the world didn't

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Just remember that if the world didn't
suck, we would all fall off.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Learn from mistakes of others; you won't

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Learn from mistakes of others; you won't
live long enough to make them all yourself

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Life can only be understood backwards but

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Life can only be understood backwards but
it must be lived forwards.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Life is what happens to you while you're

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Life is what happens to you while you're
busy making other plans. - John Lennon

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Life's a bitch, but god forbid the bitch

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Life's a bitch, but god forbid the bitch
divorce me -- Nas

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Linux *is* user-friendly. Not

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Linux *is* user-friendly. Not
idiot-friendly, but user-friendly.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Linux is just like a wigwam: no Windows,

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Linux is just like a wigwam: no Windows,
no Gates and an Apache inside.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Linux: Because rebooting is for adding

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Linux: Because rebooting is for adding
new hardware.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Live as if you were to die tomorrow,

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Live as if you were to die tomorrow,
learn as if you were to live forever.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Long periods of drought are always

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Long periods of drought are always
followed by rain.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at

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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at
math.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Lumber Cartel member #2224.

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Lumber Cartel member #2224.
http://lumbercartel.freeyellow.com/

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Make it idiot proof and someone will make

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Make it idiot proof and someone will make
a better idiot.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Martin Luther King said "I have a dream",

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Martin Luther King said "I have a dream",
not "I have a plan".

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

May you live as long as you want - and

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May you live as long as you want - and
never want as long as you live.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Microchips: what's left at the bottom of

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Microchips: what's left at the bottom of
the bag when it reaches you.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Ms Piggy's last words: "I'm pink,

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Ms Piggy's last words: "I'm pink,
therefore I'm ham."

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

My greatest fear is that no-one will

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My greatest fear is that no-one will
remember me after I'm dead - some dead guy

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

My password is my dog's name. His name is

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My password is my dog's name. His name is
a#j!4@h, but I change it every month.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

My typos are intentional copyright traps.

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My typos are intentional copyright traps.


        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

New! Divorcee Barbie! Comes with all the

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New! Divorcee Barbie! Comes with all the
usual accessories, plus all of Ken's stuff

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Only dead fish go with the flow.

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Only dead fish go with the flow.


        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Open your arms to change, but don't let

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Open your arms to change, but don't let
go of your values.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Politics, n: from Greek, "poly"=many,

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Politics, n: from Greek, "poly"=many,
"ticks"=blood sucking parasites.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Promises are like babies: fun to make,

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Promises are like babies: fun to make,
but hell to deliver.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Quitters never win. Winners never quit.

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Quitters never win. Winners never quit.
Idiots never win BUT STILL never quit.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Recursive, adj.: See Recursive

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Recursive, adj.: See Recursive


        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Red meat is not bad for you: fuzzy green

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Red meat is not bad for you: fuzzy green
meat is bad for you.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Seen on a sign outside a church: "This is

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Seen on a sign outside a church: "This is
a C H _ _ C H ... what's missing?"

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Seen on the back of a dump truck:

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Seen on the back of a dump truck:
<---PASSING SIDE . . . . . SUICIDE--->

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Share your knowledge. It's a way to

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Share your knowledge. It's a way to
achieve immortality.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Shortening Year-2000 to Y2K was just the

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Shortening Year-2000 to Y2K was just the
kind of thinking that caused that problem!

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Sign above a shop selling burglar alarms:

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Sign above a shop selling burglar alarms:
"For the man who has everything"

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Sign in pool: "Welcome to our OOL. Notice

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Sign in pool: "Welcome to our OOL. Notice
there is no P, please keep it that way."

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Sign in zoo: Do not feed the animals. If

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Sign in zoo: Do not feed the animals. If
you have food give it to the guard on duty

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Sign on a back of truck: "Overtakers

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Sign on a back of truck: "Overtakers
beware, or you might meet the Undertaker"

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Sign seen in restaurant: We Reserve The

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Sign seen in restaurant: We Reserve The
Right To Serve Refuse To Anyone!

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Snowflakes are very fragile, but look

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Snowflakes are very fragile, but look
what they can do when they stick together!

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Software is like sex, it is better when

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Software is like sex, it is better when
it's free -- Linus Torvalds

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Some people bring happiness wherever they

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Some people bring happiness wherever they
go, others whenever they go.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Someone offered you a cute little quote

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Someone offered you a cute little quote
for your signature? JUST SAY NO!

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Sorry, but my karma just ran over your

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Sorry, but my karma just ran over your
dogma.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Spelling mistakes left in for people who

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Spelling mistakes left in for people who
feel the need to correct others.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Strike not only while the iron is hot,

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Strike not only while the iron is hot,
make the iron hot by striking it.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Support bacteria - they're the only

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Support bacteria - they're the only
culture some people have!

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Tact is the art of making a point without

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Tact is the art of making a point without
making an enemy.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Tact: The ability to describe others as

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Tact: The ability to describe others as
they see themselves. - Abraham Lincoln

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.

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Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.


        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Tea or coffee? Coffee, without cream. It

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Tea or coffee? Coffee, without cream. It
will be without milk, we have no cream.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

The 3 stages of sex: Tri-weekly, try

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The 3 stages of sex: Tri-weekly, try
weekly, try weakly.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

The fact that no one understands you

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The fact that no one understands you
doesn't mean you're an artist.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

The human mind is like a parachute - it

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The human mind is like a parachute - it
functions better when it is open.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

The knowledge that you are an idiot, is

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The knowledge that you are an idiot, is
what distinguishes you from one.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

The meek shall inherit the Earth, for

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The meek shall inherit the Earth, for
they are too timid to refuse it.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

The message above is just this

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The message above is just this
signature's way of propagating itself.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

The path of least resistance is what

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The path of least resistance is what
makes rivers and politicians crooked.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

The person who knows how to laugh at

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The person who knows how to laugh at
himself will never cease to be amused.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

The road to good intentions is paved with

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The road to good intentions is paved with
hell.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

The socks in my drawer are like

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The socks in my drawer are like
snowflakes: No two are alike.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

The space between my ears was

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The space between my ears was
intentionally left blank.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

The trouble with being punctual is that

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The trouble with being punctual is that
nobody is there to appreciate it.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

The trouble with political jokes is they

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The trouble with political jokes is they
get elected.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

The two most common elements in the

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The two most common elements in the
universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

The two rules for success are: 1. Never

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The two rules for success are: 1. Never
tell them everything you know.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

The world is coming to an end ... SAVE

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The world is coming to an end ... SAVE
YOUR BUFFERS!!!

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

There are 2 ways to do it - my way and

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There are 2 ways to do it - my way and
the right way

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

This '|' is not a pipe.

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This '|' is not a pipe.


        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

This box was intentionally left blank.

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This box was intentionally left blank.


        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

This message contains 100% recycled

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This message contains 100% recycled
characters.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

This signature was intentionally left

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This signature was intentionally left
boring.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

This space is for sale - inquire inside.

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This space is for sale - inquire inside.


        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Those are my principles. If you don't

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Those are my principles. If you don't
like them, I have others.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Those who beat their swords into

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Those who beat their swords into
plowshares will plow for those who don't.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Thousands of years ago, cats were

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Thousands of years ago, cats were
worshipped as gods. They never forgot.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Time is the best teacher. Unfortunately

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Time is the best teacher. Unfortunately
it kills all its students.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

To decide or not to decide, that is the

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To decide or not to decide, that is the
question. Or is it?

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Today is the tomorrow you worried about

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Today is the tomorrow you worried about
yesterday, and now you know why.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Topologist, n.: A person who cannot tell

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Topologist, n.: A person who cannot tell
a doughnut from a coffee mug.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Tourist: Someone who goes 3,000 miles to

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Tourist: Someone who goes 3,000 miles to
get a picture in front of his car.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Two wrongs may not may a right, but three

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Two wrongs may not may a right, but three
rights make a left.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Unix is simple, but it takes a genius to

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Unix is simple, but it takes a genius to
understand its simplicity.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Unix is user friendly - it's just picky

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Unix is user friendly - it's just picky
about its friends.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Unlike Microsoft, a restaurant will not

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Unlike Microsoft, a restaurant will not
ask me to pay for food with a bug in it!

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

War doesn't determine who's right but

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War doesn't determine who's right but
who's left.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Ways to Relieve Stress #10: Make up a

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Ways to Relieve Stress #10: Make up a
language and ask people for directions.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

We aim to please, you aim too, please.

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We aim to please, you aim too, please.
(sign in a gas station men's room)

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

We are Microsoft. You will be

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We are Microsoft. You will be
assimilated. Resistance is futile.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

We could wipe out world hunger if we knew

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We could wipe out world hunger if we knew
how to make AOL's Free CD's edible!

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Wear short sleeves! Support your right to

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Wear short sleeves! Support your right to
bare arms!

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Welcome to the Church of the Holy

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Welcome to the Church of the Holy
Cabbage. Lettuce pray...

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog
vendor? Make me one with everything.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

What's the difference between roast beef

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What's the difference between roast beef
and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

What's the greatest world-wide use of

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What's the greatest world-wide use of
cowhide? To hold cows together.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

What's tiny, yellow and very dangerous? A

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What's tiny, yellow and very dangerous? A
canary with the super-user password.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

When everything's coming your way, you're

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When everything's coming your way, you're
in the wrong lane.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

When you handle yourself, use your head;

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When you handle yourself, use your head;
when you handle others, use your heart.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

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When you lose, don't lose the lesson.


        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Why are you looking down here? The joke

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Why are you looking down here? The joke
is above!

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Why aren't fishmongers generous? Their

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Why aren't fishmongers generous? Their
business makes them selfish.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Why do doctors call what they do

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Why do doctors call what they do
practice? Think about it.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Why do programmers mix up Christmas and

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Why do programmers mix up Christmas and
Halloween? Because DEC 25 = OCT 31

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Why do we drive on a parkway and park on

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Why do we drive on a parkway and park on
a driveway?

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Willpower: The ability to eat only one

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Willpower: The ability to eat only one
salted peanut.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Windows detected you moved your mouse.

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Windows detected you moved your mouse.
Reboot for this change to take effect.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

Windows-2000/Professional isn't.

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Windows-2000/Professional isn't.


        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

You do not need a parachute to skydive.

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You do not need a parachute to skydive.
You only need one to skydive twice.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

You have the right to remain silent.

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You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say will be used against you.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

You may only be one person to the world,

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You may only be one person to the world,
but may also be the world to one person.

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

ech`echo xiun|tr nu oc|sed

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ech`echo xiun|tr nu oc|sed
'sx\([sx]\)\([xoi]\)xo un\2\1 is xg'`ol

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes

echo '[q]sa[ln0=aln256%Pln256/snlbx]

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echo '[q]sa[ln0=aln256%Pln256/snlbx]
sb3135071790101768542287578439snlbxq'|dc

        -- One of Nadav Har’El's Email Signatures.
Author Nadav Har’El
Work Nadav Har’El’s E-mail Signature Quotes