I don't believe in fairies. Oops! A fairy died. I don't believe in fairies. Oops! Another fairy died. Shlomi Fish % The prefix "God Said" has the extraordinary logical property of converting any statement that follows it into a true one. Shlomi Fish % A Jewish Deduction The Bible dictates that "Thou shalt not seethe [= cook] a kid [= young goat] in his mother's milk." To avoid any possibility of breaking that regulation, the Jewish tradition ruled that it also applies to female goats, to mature goats, and to the meat and milk of two completely unrelated goats. It is also forbidden to eat the meat with fresh milk, and it applies to beef and mutten as well (including mixing the milk and meat of two different beasts). Finally, chicken, which are incapable of milk production, may not be eaten along with any mammal's milk either. We are fortunate that most mathematicians were not Jewish. Otherwise, it would have been forbidden to divide by all numbers between -1 and 1. Shlomi Fish % I used to be arrogant. Now I'm simply Perfect. % If the ancient Greeks had invented UNIX, Murphy's Law would have been known as Aristotle's Law. Had they invented MS-Windows, Murphy's Law would have been known as the Law of Socrates. Shlomi Fish % Microsoft's slogan used to be "Microsoft - making it all make sense." Today it should be: "Microsoft - making everything make sense. Ours." Shlomi Fish % Linux - Because Software Problems Should not Cost Money. Shlomi Fish % The American Lottery - all you need is a dollar and a dream. We will take the dollar, but you can keep the dream. Shlomi Fish % "Shit Happens" according to the religions of the world (Deltas by Shlomi Fish) Judaism: God knows you will do shit, does nothing to prevent it, but makes you take the blame for it anyway. % "Shit Happens" according to the religions of the world (Deltas by Shlomi Fish) Judaism: God is all the shit, all the non-shit and all the intermediate demi-shits in between. % Let's interpret the past according to the present and not the present according to the past. Shlomi Fish % "Computer Sciense is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes" Edsger W. Dijkstra "Programming Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about stars." Shlomi Fish % [Discussing the shortage of IT workers as of 1998 on E-mail] Shlomi Fish to Omer Zak: "Even the NSA doesn't have enough programmers. But it is not likely that they will have more and that's because 'Summerschool at the NSA' may might as well be the name of Sarah Michelle Gellar's next movie." Omer Zak to Shlomi Fish: "And as opposed to 'I Know What You Did Last Summer' it is going to be scary." % Objective philosophy is like a pencil sharpener for one's mind. Shlomi Fish % Oh! I wish you could see the look on his face! Actually, I would have also liked to see the look on his face, but just then I woke up from the dream. "The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It" Shlomi Fish % Had I not been already insane, I would have long ago driven myself mad. "The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It" Shlomi Fish % "Except for that, I planned a political simulator that forecast the two World Wars after I entered all the relevant data until the year 1000 AD." "Do you have a computer at home?" "Oh no. At present the program is written on a paper. Don't ask how much time it took me to take out all the bugs from it. But it was great fun!" "The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight it" Shlomi Fish % "Likewise." Added the interviewer and said: "Your answers were also very ... unusual." "Although this description cannot testify on their quality, I take it as a compliment." "The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It" Shlomi Fish % The government of the Supporter will finance your travel, and you will be able to leave tomorrow morning. We would like to inform you of the following facts: we cannot assure your safety during this travel. Furthermore, despite your long service at the Organization and your constructive proposal, we cannot say, wholeheartedly or halfheartedly, that we wish to protect your safety. Likewise, we cannot guarantee that we would not take actions that may harm you, indirectly or in a direct manner. We hope to see you here very soon. "The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It" Shlomi Fish % "Okay, I think that I can now return to my country and my village. By the way, how many forbidden books do you have?" "Oh,", one of them said to me, " their number grows up geometrically. When I checked two weeks ago, their number was 2,148,763. A week ago there were 4,278,109 forbidden writings. Now there must be about 8,600,000." "You are wrong.", I said to him. "I beg your pardon?" "There are now exactly 8,517,559 or 8,517,560 forbidden books." "Why is it so important?" "Why, it means that meanwhile you have 82,440 or 82,441 extra books you can read at bedtime if you can't fall asleep!" "The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It" Shlomi Fish % "And what is the nature of those activists: Socialists? Communists? Liberals? ... " "Let's say for simplicity that they are people of my intellect, only that as opposed to me they are sane." "The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It" Shlomi Fish % A more experienced programmer does not make less bugs. He just realizes what went wrong more quickly. Shlomi Fish % BTW, for an editor with no replace feature (at least not on Windows 95), no regular-expression search and replace, no indentation support, no syntax-highlighting and no macros and scriptability features: MS Notepad is one hell of an editor! "Wonderous are the ways of Microsoft" Shlomi Fish % Suggested Improvements to the Documentation: The WYSIWYT project was for a long time fascinated by Microsoft's tremendous desire to advance its Internet Explorer web-browser. We saw the fact that they switched the help systems of the upcoming Windows 98, as well as Microsoft Visual C++ 5.0, to HTML a major step in advancing our project. As a complementary step, some of the chief heads of our project suggested that the Windows' manuals themselves, as well as all of Microsoft's ads, will be designed in HTML and printed after being rendered by IE4. While this project is in the preliminary and planning stages, we expect it to acquire a large momentum soon. "IRPWUG Announces Project 'WYSIWYT'" Shlomi Fish % If: 1. A is A. 2. A is not not-A. does it also imply that: 1. B is B. 2. B is not not-B. Shlomi Fish % I know I'm blond, but I have to colour my hair brown, so people whould not think I'm stupid. Because, like the title of the book says: "You've only got Three Seconds". Actually, since Amazon sent us two books like that, you've only got six seconds. % Knuth is not God! It took him two days to build the Roman Empire. Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2049 % Knuth is not God! God has already released TeX version 4.0. Shlomi Fish % > > Shlomi, > > Have you ever considered taking a Turing test? ;-) > Sure I did. I sat at one point of an IRC channel, and someone tested me. Eventually it was discovered that I am a computer, but it turned out the other side was an Eliza program. Strangely enough, I could not detect that the latter fact was true. Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2465 % There is no IGLU Cabal! None of them could pass the Turing test. But strangely enough a computer program they coded, could. Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2465 % Knuth is not God! Google is not God! RMS is not God! God himself said that was the case. Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2385 % Knuth is not God! Typing "God" into Google and pressing "I'm Feeling Lucky" would not lead you to his homepage. Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2084 ("The Great WWW-Wisdom Shootout") % Knuth is not God! Unless you confuse him with Dijkstra. Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2037 % (I am patenting issuing a TINIC with anything else but the phrase "There is no IGLU Cabal!". The patent number is kept secret to avoid violating the copyright of its text) Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2021 % C++ supports Object-Oriented Programming roughly as much as COBOL supports Functional Programming. Shlomi Fish % I hope that if it had not been clear before, it isn't less clear now. % Jack: Hi, Sophie! Sophie: Don't "Hi, Sophie!" me. Jack: Don't "Don't 'Hi, Sophie!' me" me! Shlomi Fish % My opinions may seem crazy but they all make sense. Insane sense, but sense nonetheless. Shlomi Fish % Shlomi, I'm considering naming a corollary of Godwyn's law after you - any discussion of anything is over when you mention Freecell Solver. Muli Ben-Yehuda on #kernelnewbies (irc.kernelnewbiews.org) Muli: BTW, I think that any discussion only begins to gain momentum when I mention Freecell Solver. Shlomi Fish on #offtopic (irc.kernelnewbies.org) % There's no point in keeping an idea to yourself since there's a 10 to 1 chance that somebody already has it and will share it before you. Shlomi Fish % An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Two apples a day will keep two doctors away. % "You are banished! You are banished! You are banished! - hey I'm just kidding!" Shlomi Fish % [Discussing Foreign Languages Knowledge in the U.S.A] Ben Collins-Sussman: Tis' true, unlike Europe, the language doesn't change every 100 miles. Shlomi Fish: And unlike England, the accent does not change every 10 miles. % What happened to Christopher Michael Pilato? Is he gone? Is he gone for good? Is he gone for better? Is he gone for best? Is he gone forever? Will he return? Who is Christopher Michael Pilato, anyway? Shlomi Fish % > Can anyone draw a plan as to how to teach a computer to laugh? Say we > define laugh as print "LOL", and define smile as print ":)". How would a > computer know when to print any of those, and when to operate an Eliza > program? Judging by IRC or AOL, randomly would do just fine ;-) Muli Ben-Yehuda in Hackers-IL message No. 3513 % In Philosophy, as much as in software engineering, you don't get credit for originality. What matters is the final product, not who came up with the idea for each feature first. Shlomi Fish % > Unfortunatly as other people have mentioned - the HURD is seriously > lacking in developers, especially driver writers. Linux is to blame for > most of that. KImageShop is seriously lacking in developers, and the GIMP is to blame for most of that. Shlomi Fish in a Linux-IL post (http://www.mail-archive.com/linux-il@cs.huji.ac.il/msg31920.html) % He has a high degree of idealism, a high degree of stubbornness, and an even higher degree of inability to distinguish between the two. Shlomi Fish % > Thanks, applied as change #22936. > And thank you for applying this patch. But to be honest, I'm a little disappointed. I expected it won't go in so easily and will trigger some discussion here. But there was none. No typo corrections ("you mis-spelled 'floccinaucinihilipilification'"); no flames ("this patch is the worst thing since non-sliced bread"). Nothing. Someone should do something about it. This direction is not healthy for p5p. Seriously. Shlomi Fish in perl5-porters http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.perl5.porters/92352 % Right now, I think I'll go to sleep. nite rindolf sleep-fu well mitch: night. Bye all! mitch: there are no PDB entries for me sleeping. mitch: nor do I want any. haha (rindolf-sleep INTERACTIVE|NONINTERACTIVE) mitch: heh mitch: (plug-in-rindolf-sleep ... :) (plug-in-rindolf-sleep 8 HOURS) Contemplating some potential procedural database functions in #gimp. % a quickie: are 'adjustments layers' planned to be implemented in gimp? yacoob: at some point in the future, yes. nomis: dare to estimate how far this future is? yacoob: no. yacoob: faster if you contribute. * nomis waits for the "oh, I cannot program at all". nomis: faster if he learns how to program, and then contributes. :) rindolf: you wouldn't like me to contribute, believe me ;) #gimp % [Commenting in Slashdot after Arnold Schwarzenegger's decision to use open-source software in the California government:] > This is obviously because Bill Gates and Steve Jobs are girly-men. Yeah and what are the offerings of the open-source world? Let's see: 1. Linus Torvalds - Looks like a dweeb, ergo is a dweeb. How girly is that? (plus his wife can kick ass better than him) 2. Richard M. Stallman - a hippy. How girly is that? 3. Eric S. Raymond - a nice looking man with a mustache. Baby faced, so he looks a bit girly to me. 4. Larry Wall - a cross between Linus and RMS (i.e: a hippy dweeb) that is even more girly. So who do we have left? Alan Cox? OK, he's manly. (huge man, huge facial hair, etc.) And all the others are so neglible people don't even know how they look like. Note: this comment may have been a bit cruel, so sorry. Don't take it too seriously, especially if you're one of the guys I laughed about. I hold you all with the greatest respect. Seriously. Sincerily yours, Shlomi Fish (who is a quite girly male himself). - http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=117863&cid=9962843 % If his programming is anything like his philosophizing, he would find ten imaginary bugs in the "Hello World" program. Shlomi Fish % buu: do you have a working manual of BL? s/working/up-to-date/ It's kind of sort of up to date he means NO I've got some docs! buu: do you have a functional spec? An architecture document? An interface whitepaper? A developer's guide? A user manual? A "The BL-Book" and "BL - The Program"? rindolf: no, no, no no and no -- Discussing the merits of documenting one's pet languages on FreeNode's #perl channel. % Hacker sees bug. Hacker fixes bug. Shlomi Fish % Tcl is LISP on drugs. Using strings instead of S-expressions for closures is Evil with one of those gigantic E's you can find at the beginning of chapters. Shlomi Fish % Linus Torvalds: "95% of Programmers consider themselves in the top 5%". Shlomi Fish's Corollary: "95% of Programmers consider 95% of the code they did not write, in the bottom 5%." % Linuxgrrl: well The Gilmore Girls is also a drama. Sort of a dramedie, but a serious one. Meh. Too girly for me. Linuxgrrl: you are a girl. Linuxgrrl: let me guess - you're using Debian or Gentoo, right? Gentoo. Linuxgrrl: knew it. Linuxgrrl: no self-respecting tomboy would use Mandrake. Shlomi Fish (rindolf) and Linuxgrrl on OFTC's #linuxchics. % C++ is complex, complexifying and complexified. (With apologies to the Oxford English Dictionary). Shlomi Fish % I'm siicckk of blogging memes. You are this file type. You are that type of cloth. You are this member of the Friends show jkauffman: LOL. "January 4th, 2005: Just took an online quiz and it turns out I'm a Joey type" Shlomi Fish (rindolf) and jkauffman on Freenode's #perlcafe % sleeper: why are people obsessed with one-liners? It takes 3 lines - OMG what a disaster! rindolf: newline prices went up again Botje: I buy my newlines in the black market Botje: again? drat. * Botje reports rindolf to the newline police Botje: I know about an... (underground) operation going on to pirate newlines. Botje: I bribed a few cops in the newline police, but nice try. Botje: Some crazy guys are trying to free newlines from patents! They want to rid the market! * cursor gets called up to serve in the newline jury I think we need to start a campaign to lift all restrictions off newlines. rindolf: La Resistance lives on!\n I already stockpiled millions of newlines Botje: We can have the one-liners destroyed by sundown Not destroyed, but... TURNED INTO TWO-LINERS! Mwuhahaha! -- Did anybody see my newline at Freenode's #perl channel. % * buu Stevie[FP] with a plunger. * Stevie[FP] looks for the verb in that sentence i think you're missing a verb I think he's missing a brain. unless Stevie[FP] is a verb i don't know Stevie[FP]: v. see Stevie[FP] I am not a verb! you've been verbatized * rindolf Stevie[FP]'s Chris62vw verbalized? Stevie[FP]: verbalized is a different thing. Stevie[FP]: it comes from "verbal". Verbified. Verbiated. stefan: verbificated. verbed. Verberated. Stevie[FP]: verberation is overrated. -- Verbing the verb on Freenode's #perl % rindolf: you are seriously the craziest fucker I know and I know some crazy ass people haha tyler-: I am crazy. And proud of it. rindolf: you should be haha Ahh man tyler-: being crazy is hard work. I worked all my life to be crazy. Normal people aren't fun. tyler-: "Craziness is not an action. It's a process." heh rindolf: I see You need to tend to your insanity. tyler-: do you want to be crazy? rindolf: that's why I feed my leprechaun at least once a day. tyler-: I can teach you everything I know. Freenode's #perlcafe % mofino: I have some money, and am living and am supported by my parents. mofino: there's much less of a taboo against living with one parents after school in Israel, than there is in the States. It's not taboo It's pathetic. Although, sometimes life sucks, and you have no choice. you know, it depends if you're not married and / or not getting any, it doesn't much matter if you live with your folks ender, usually when you have self-respect, you try and you know, make it on your own q[ender]: are you married and not getting any? You could live with your parents. hahaha haha awesome rindolf++ # good burn! -- Discussing living with one's parents on IRC. % :)-< +-- -- Moses the Smiley by Shlomi Fish % The first phrase that need to be taught when teaching a new language is how to say "Do you speak English?". The first thing that needs to be taught when teaching a new computer tool is how to exit it. Shlomi Fish % He who re-invents the wheel, will understand much better how a wheel works. He who re-invents the wheel, may actually invent a much better wheel. Shlomi Fish He who re-invents the wheel will likely design a square wheel and spend a year trying to figure out why it doesn't work properly. Nadav Har'El % Sometimes you don't need to be familiar with a better alternative to know that something sucks. Take Microsoft Word for example. Eran Keidar % The difference between a good student and a bad student is that a bad student forgets the material five minutes before the test, while a good student five minutes afterwards. % Real programmers don't write workarounds. They tell their users to upgrade their software. Shlomi Fish % If his programming is anything like his philosophising, he would find 10 imaginary bugs in the "Hello World" program. Shlomi Fish % Jewish Atheists are the only true Atheists. They beat the hell out of Goy Atheists. Shlomi Fish % i hate xml..... indeed mcrawfor: :-) mcrawfor++ # Nice joke ehm. ouch. rindolf: no! mcrawfor Botje: LOL. Botje FreeNode's #perl % dazjorz is now known as __you * __you fart * __you say "oops" __you: heh * __you kick rindolf <__you> (rindolf, you're now being kicked by 435 people) __you need to go outside. __you: Who owns you? * __you go outside * __you are pwned by dazjorz __you is now known as we * we are having a useless off-topic conversation right now we: hahah we is now known as __you * __you decide this channel is now useless and decide to leave simcop2387 is now known as we * we are not amused * __you and I are together simcop2387 squeeks is now known as _I_ * _I_ need to tell __you something * __you listen simcop2387 is now known as we * we need help * _I_ think we are getting a bit sick of the shenanigans I'm so making a fortune out of it. * we want to be on bash.org /me (or I, you or we) is finding it amusing on Freenode's #perl. % Freenode's #perl: --------------- Oh! I fixed it :D Yay :D spyro_boy: congrats! Thanks for your help, everyone. :) spyro_boy: now you should translate this script to O'Caml, Haskell, Perl 6. rindolf, huh? spyro_boy: Smalltalk, C, C++, Visual Basic... rindolf, translate to what? spyro_boy: to all these programming languages. haha rindolf, yeah. Because a script in perl is Not Enough. spyro_boy: but see the Great Computer Language Shootout. rindolf, I tried learning C,C++, and Java, but I couldn't catch on. % wankit Perl 6, unlike most people, is able to breathe in the vacuum of space. In fact, anything else would damage its respiratory system. Because of this, whenever it's visiting Earth, it wears a respirator, which resembles a kickass beard. Heh heh. Are all of buubot's wankit factoids about Perl 6? He should have some about Chuck Norris, too. fictional factoids about a partially designed, partially implemented, partially wanted language. :) merlyn: yeah. Heh - those are all Chuck Norris quotes with s/Chuck/P6/ rindolf: It's written in Chuck Norris, right Chuck Norris writes code in Perl 6. Before Larry's done. And it works. merlyn: Chuck Norris wrote Perl 6 in a day but then destroyed all evidence with his bare hands, so no one will know his secrets. -- FreeNode's #perl. % ajs: perhaps Chuck Norris would be a useful addition to the Pugs and Parrot teams. rindolf: If Norris can write, give him a commit bit, and tie him to a keyboard ;) I thought he already had commit Chuck Norris commits with a roundhouse kick into the SVN server's head * FurnaceBoy chuckles daxim: If you can get that to pass the test suite, then more power to you! Chuck *is* the test suite chuck norris does not code, when he sits at a computer, it just does whatever he wants. Kattana: :-) ah, we're easy to amuse Be the test suite, Chuck... BE the test suite. you gotta pass 'make chuck' Chuck Norris Perlsixifies at FreeNode's #perl6 channel. % LeoNerd: I need to get a life. They can be quite useful, but they do have a crazy amount of dependencies.. And sometimes they can be a bit unstable - I think they're still beta-testing Geek Humour at FreeNode's #perl % Daveman: i use a ZED PEE EM to power my computer, its the ultimate YOU PEE ES * Daveman throws an Elisabeth at Simcop Me catches the Elisabeth in mid-air. with an s, excellent choice :o Interception! Daveman: when my friend and I played Frisbee, we had an intra-tree move. * SubStack pirates Elisabeth and seeds a torrent Which was unintended. Elisabeth: are you here? HAHAHAHHA Substack++ * SubStack wins at life. An Elisabeth for all! And all for an Elisabeth. Freenode's #perl % what is a good book for getting up to speed with perl? learning perl! intermediate perl! the camel is the _only book_ :-P * merlyn bats nachos silly :-( Alexi5: there's also Beginning Perl, which is available online. * f00li5h saw that coming You should learn Perl from "Learning Perl in 24 minutes Unleashed!" rindolf: ``Learning perl in 24 minutes Unleashed, in a nutshell for dummies'' is the one i have f00li5h: that's even better. FreeNode's #perl % "You know:", The physicist said, "in my opinion since you left the Organization you acted without thinking a lot before you did things. I would define your behavior as deriving from spontaneousness and fickle-mindedness that border on rashness. Do you also think so?" "Of course!" I answered him, "Except for arrogance, rashness is my only defect!" Excerpt from "The Enemy and How I Helped to Fight it" By: Shlomi Fish http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/TheEnemy/ % The current solution offered by Nvidia may be the second-best solution. But this is one case where the second best solution is not good enough. Shlomi Fish in http://www.petitiononline.com/nvfoss/petition.html % If it isn't in my email, it doesn't exist. And if the whole world says one thing and my email says something different, email will conquer. % Hi CSWookie CSWookie: aren't you also on Freenode? rindolf: What's up. rindolf: I am. CSWookie: I'm fine. CSWookie: you are a Buffy fan right? rindolf: I am. Although really, more a Willow fan. Nothing hotter than red-headed Jewesses that are scared of boys. GimpNet's #gimp % Are you using Firefox? yeah... Interesting... Don't know. <[x86]> use a real browser... you know... like IE! * [x86] runs IE 3 > * IE 2 > * gopher! firefox can actually do gopher URLs GNU info! feh. Discussing Vintage Hypertext on Freenode's #perl % Hi all! How can I tell Flash in FF to play using artsd? It keeps trying to invoke esd. I'm on Mandriva 2007. the REAL question is, wtf is taking adobe so long with flash 9 :@ rindolf: you might have to set that with firefox' settings. or, do what good people do and use opera. :P * rindolf slaps vexati0n vexati0n: I'm not using Opera. Period. I don't like it and it's not FOSS. god, it's like opera is anathema just cause people can't look at it's code or something. like YUO are going to tinker with your browser's source code anyway vexati0n: actually, I did that for Firefox. vexati0n: I have a bug pending on bugzilla.mozilla.org. vexati0n: nah, nah, nah, nah well, you wouldn't have to do it with opera because it already works :P vexati0n: I hate the fact that it resizes images. vexati0n: it causes the images to be too large. vexati0n: now tell me how do I fix that. opera resizes images? o.O do you have a page it screws up so i can look? vexati0n: when I press Ctrl++ and Ctrl+- oh. you mean it doesn't just increase the size of the text. vexati0n: take http://www.shlomifish.org/art/ for example. vexati0n: yes. Freenode's ##linux % The bad thing about hardware is that it sometimes work and sometimes doesn't. The good thing about software is that it's consistent: it always does not work, and it always does not work in exactly the same way. Shlomi Fish % Kev: thanks. Kev: did you post it on the French page? not yet Kev: you need to create an account first. But it's easy. It's' a MediaWiki based wiki. arghhhhhhhhhhhh Kev: what's wrong? Maybe MediaWiki wronged him in some way! wiki Just be thankful it isn't a blog! Kev: what's wrong with wikis? And be extra thankful it's not MySpace. Mt. Allison [University] is now paying 5 students to maintain a "life as a Mt. A student" blog -- Freenode's #perlcafe % Well I'm confused and I'm going home Later guys And girl. Young tender girl ... sweet 16 year old girl .... haha mofino: heh. * mofino puts away his lynching pedo personality ;) lates --- ChanServ gives channel operator status to jagerman <-- jagerman has kicked mofino from #perlcafe (Leave already :P) --- jagerman removes channel operator status from jagerman We have found pedobear and he is mofino --> mofino has joined #perlcafe can you like not do that as I'm picking up my keys? you fagerman fagerman, homofino, what's next? I know - q[tyler-] OTOH, I've been called Slimy Fish lately. rindolf: The *real* Slimy Fish? avar: the one and only 100% original real actual and unmatched Slimy Fish! I'm the real Slimy, yes I'm the real Slimy, if you're the real Slimy and not just a Slimy. So will the real Slimy please stand up, please stand up... * jagerman is ashamed for actually knowing those lyrics sing it jew boy:) -- Freenode's #perlcafe % CSWookie: tried Christian Ubuntu yet? ;-) lol. Oh dear, you weren't joking. goldfish: no, I was. hah "Ubuntu Christian Edition is a free, open source operating system geared towards Christians. It is based on the popular Ubuntu Linux. Ubuntu is a complete Linux-based operating system, freely available with both community and professional support." i might try it soon right now we are using plain dapper at my church moldy: hah is this that funny? :p :) http://christianubuntu.blogspot.com/ hehe For 40 days before Easter, Ubuntu Christian Edition works in text mode only. haha That's brilliant :) There's also a Jewbuntu blog, but it's not as funny as this Christian Ubuntu blog. true That sounds about right -- Jesus might have preferred Jewbuntu since he was a Jew. Then again, Jesus was also a dedicated idealist, so he might have chosen Debian instead of Ubuntu. :-P hehehe why has ubuntu become the distro of puns? has it? there are puns for other distros, too Jesus came from long long ago. I bet he runs debian stable. :) -- Freenode's #vim. % ofer0: what's up? rindolf, nothing much. what's with you? ofer0: I restored my fonts to my nouveau-enabled X server. What is nouveau? jagerman, "new" in french ? Yes, I know it's a word, but what is the nouveau rindolf is talking about? I have no idea. rindolf ? jagerman, ofer0: it's the free-as-in-speech Nvidia drivers. jagerman++ (Yes i know its a word). free as in freedom free as in richard stallman? free as in free Microsoft Windows Vista CDs lol vista-- "What do you mean? Windows XP isn't free?" -- My neighbour. ofer0: sounds familiar (when telling him that I can't format his hard-drive and re-install XP because he doesn't own a license) -- Freenode's #perl % This reminds me of a fun discussion I had with my co-worker. He had a Firefox window open with an ActiveState page and I read "Perl, PHP, Python, Tcl, XSLT". So he said: "Heresy! C is the only language." So I thought for a moment and said "Intercal is the only language." lol And then "Real men write in Intercal." "COME FROM" anyone? Shlomi Fish ("rindolf") in Freenode's #perl % mortal5: you need to print the header. mortal5: print header() rindolf, ...I absolutely love it when my textbook leads me wrong.. mortal5: what is your textbook? "web wizards guide to perl and cgi" lol only the finest for the students at my university Hahaha That's awesome. Is this what we're teacing these days? Oh my. Blows the mind, doesn't it cfedde! somian: it does. I suppose that I'm commenting out of context. but why the mix and match. What mind? yours, with this .48 * somian sends in CSI las vegas to clean up mortal5: what is your university? rindolf, I'm too ashamed to tell :p mortal5: heh. mortal5: is it bad? rindolf, no not really, we have a fairly well known cs dept Just so long as it isn't SUNY@BUFFALO it's just the teacher i'm using, she's a total flake Freenode's #perl % * CPAN rating: Net-DNS-Check rated 4 stars by Ævar Arnfjörð Bjarmason Oooh! avar has rated a module. avar! WHAT ARE YOU DOING rating CPAN modules!?! Do you really think you are QUALIFIED to be doing that!?! ;-P * avar dongs somian^{} * somian^{} laughs somian^{}: I'M A PROFESSIONAL PERL PROGRAMMER I know PERL But can u mAke teh weB with teh PERL!? avar: I know DONGS Earle_Martin: SHOW ME Earle_Martin: Don't you mean DONG foo? * somian^{} has a silly grin on his face as he decends the stairs to make some fresh coffee somian^{}: I maek teh web really well with PERL /DCC MATRIX avar Earle_Martin: IT'S SO LARGE AND HARD! avar: You think that's milk you're drinking? heh] I was wondering why it was so delcicious "I can't belive it's not jizz" Take the red pill blue! I know PERL: Programmer's Elite Robotic Language * avar goes back to work I wonder what would happen if Neo was colorblind and took the wrong pill. 10 DO ROBOT DANCE 20 GOTO 10 which doesn't involving discussing dongs in great detail, unfortunately avar: the real world sucks Perl, dongs and everything between on Freenode's #perl % mauke: so how does that "translate" into eng "eng"? I spe eng goo mauke: I spe eng wel I spe goo eng just a short question. besides personal preference is there any difference if you use if(! or unless(? sts: no. sts: they do the same thing. sts: pfft. Real Men(tm) use unless(!...) Botje: heh. lol unless(! makes sense. thanks Botje, i'll rather use this one. =D For me it's a readability thing - I express what seems more likely Botje: File::HomeDir used to have a triple or quadruple negative in one of its test files. unless(! $str !~ /(?!foo)/) Botje: heh whoa unless (!) makes no sense to me at all of course not. Botje: wow! it's still cool to confuse people with :] Heh.. Should just use !!! in there anywa y:) it's 7 characters too many some people don't understand double negatives I don't want no complaints! xand: you mean don't not understnad? We don't know nobody who don't want no double-negatives Botje: what does (?!foo) do? lol Botje: don't not misunderstand Botje: that always executes the block there's an argument that can be successfully made that "I don't want no complaints" doesn't necessarily work logically xand: oh, I don't not think I didn't not misunderstand you. mauke: I know. it just looks cool. and you want !($str !~ /.../) don't you?# so it might actually mean what people think they're meaning N-uple negative on Freenode's #perl % On Sunday 01 April 2007, chromatic wrote: > On Saturday 31 March 2007 15:26, Yuval Kogman wrote: > > uses_version_control sounds more like lacks_manifest_skip_file which > > should deduct kwalitee IMHO. > > Maybe so, but how else can CPANTS detect that you use the world's most > advanced version control system: CVS? > Are you kidding? CVS is not advanced as: 1. Microsoft Visual SourceSafe - the only sane choice for good data integrity and portability. 2. tarballs/zip-files and patches. This one excels in convenience, and robustness. CVS is a very advanced version control system, however. I do wish that Subversion (which is a VCS that I have to use against my will) was as good as it is. -- Shlomi Fish answering to chromatic on 01-April-2007 % * Larry Wall can understand the Perl code he wrote last year. * Larry Wall gets the colon. * There are at least 137 Larry Walls in the U.S. but only one that matters. * Larry Wall applies a patch manually quicker than GNU patch. * Larry Wall dreams in Perl. * Larry Wall can program in his sleep. * Larry Wall is lazy, impatient and full of hubris. * Larry Wall has more dollars in the bank than in his Perl code. -- Larry Wall facts by Shlomi Fish % Electrical Engineering studies. In the Technion. Been there. Done that. Forgot a lot. Remember too much. Shlomi Fish % Well, for the record, *I* am without faults, but i'll mention them here anyways: 1) i really hate scriptaculous 2) i kicked a dog the other day 3) i pushed an old lady aside, on my way to get a cup of free coffee 4) i secretly program in Python 5) i like to interject and make lists Jeff Anderson on the London Perl Mongers http://london.pm.org/pipermail/london.pm/Week-of-Mon-20070402/007215.html % I'm not an actor - I just play one on T.V. Shlomi Fish % You know for when they finally decide to release that programatic abortion they call perl 6 anonuser: on Christmas. anonuser: don't know which one. anonuser: you can download pugs and play with it. rindolf, The running joke I have with friends is that Duke Nukem Forever (DNF) is being written in Perl6 anonuser: it's an old joke. rindolf, DNF and Perl6 together is an old joke? anonuser: yeah. anonuser: "Perl 6 is the language Duke Nukem Forever will be written in." Well, it's not too old, but it's a meme. rindolf: I'm the guy who's going to port DNF from GNU/Hurd to FreeBSD Discussing vapourware on Freenode's ##freebsd % Trying to block pornography is like climbing a waterfall and trying to stay dry. Drew Dexter % I'm not straight - I'm Israeli. Shlomi Fish (who is not gay) % Hi Omer! Mazal Tov on Chen and yours marriage. It reminds me of a quote from Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre: "At this period she married, removed with her husband (a clergyman, an excellent man, *almost worthy of such a wife*) to a distant county, and consequently was lost to me." Well, in your case I can say that both of you are almost worthy of each other. Congrats again! Shlomi Fish in: http://omerm.livejournal.com/36505.html?thread=43673#t43673 % LINUX < WINDOWS XP Yaakov: Linux ">" x Inf Windows XP Yaakov: DOS > Linux Yaakov: CTSS > Linux Yaakov: TOPS-10 > Linux Multics > Linux Multics > * I think I'll stop. I think I'll /clear CP/M > * Kobaz: heh! Kobaz++ Heh. CP/M was teh sexy. How much more of an OS do you really need? I still have my Apple II sitting in the corner. -- My operating system is better than yours on Freenode's #perl % > You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it > means. It does not mean what I think it means, but it means what *you* think it means. Muahahahah... -- Shlomi Fish in http://allium.zgp.org/pipermail/linux-elitists/2007-April/011935.html % Mahmoud: what's up? rindolf, writing a CMS from scratch with perl.. really cool, making my own template engine Mahmoud: why??? Mahmoud: use TT2. Or whatever. rindolf, i dislike other CMS engines.. they are bloated and i don't trust them Mahmoud: TT2 is pure perl. * Mahmoud looks for TT2 Mahmoud: a CMS doesn't stay simple forever. Mahmoud: and a CMS != Templating system. rindolf, the template engine is quite simple, it's similar to how SimpleMachines forum does its templates rindolf, just an external file with print 'foo'; commands Mahmoud, TT2 is very powerful Mahmoud, there are more templating systems, why not use any ofo the existing ones? Mahmoud: please don't re-invent square wheels. heh.. oval! * amnesiac likes hexagonal wheels very small octagon wheels aren't too bad. amnesiac: triangular wheels are the best! i like star shaped wheels :/ Freenode's #perl on the many types of Wheels. % LeoNerd: That was one of the first blobs of Java I wrote, it's allowed to be even more verbose and convoluted than Java normally is. ;P ferret: link? /las Cat.java ferret: an implementation of the UNIX "cat" program in Java?? Actually, specifically the GNU cat program, and only a subset thereof. ferret: oh. ferret: how many lines did it take? * f00li5h heads off to #codegolf and tries to convince them to allow java submissions rindolf: It's mostly argument parser. ferret: I once implemented a parser for a subset of the Bourne Shell args, in really hideous ANSI C. f00li5h: good luck. f00li5h: Java Golf... yeah, for sure! Java Golf would be longer than a non-Golfed Perl program. rindolf: this is true f00li5h: COBOL Golf! The Pyramid of Code Golf on Freenode's #perl % "struggling intern" at 129.162.1.31 pasted "Here it is.." (220 lines, 5.7K) at http://sial.org/pbot/25279 woohoo there it goes... strugglingintern: oh my god! strugglingintern: this code looks really bad. heh... strugglingintern: if ($records eq 0 ) - don't you want ($records == 0)? strugglingintern: do you have unit tests? strugglingintern: and you should factor it better. strugglingintern: and possibly use Template Toolkit or something. strugglingintern: and you may have some HTML-injection (or XSS) problems. rindolf: and probably SQL injection problems. Ani-_: indeed! :-/ strugglingintern: really, ask them to review that code when they get back. alright I appreciate it anyway strugglingintern: how long have you been programming perl? hah, about 3 months This isn't all my code ;) I'll look into it Thanks guys (and gals). strugglingintern: you're welcome. not my choice ;) it's my 3rd week here :) Amazing how much more experienced programmers can tell a code is bad from a quick glance. It's a bit scary. nothing amazing about it. It's called skill. :) yeh even I can tell it by a look It's not scary or amazing at all. It is called experience! rindolf: what do you find scary? rindolf: that experienced programmers can tell it? Or the code itself? I would disagree on the first one but agree on the later! :) Ani-_: no, that I'm so experienced. Ani-_: I hope I don't sound out as a snob. narcissism is fun I should get a life. Get a girlfriend, go to movies. Instead all I do is write Perl. And chat about writing Perl. a life, tried that, didn't mix with me -- Scary Perl Expertise on Freenode's #perl % Let me wikipedia it. so now wikipedia is a verb? f00li5h: it's gonna enter the OED. f00li5h: in English every verb can be nounified and every noun can be verbed. f00li5h: google is now a verb too. rindolf: q{ just one second and i'll "computer" it up for you"} f00li5h: LOL. f00li5h++ * rindolf f00li5hes jql I'm rindolfed * f00li5h finds it odd that irssi hilighted half of that word f00li5h: it's much harder to do it in Hebrew. computer is from the verb compute already jql: there's computerise though. jql: but to computer something is different than computing it COMPUTIFY! jql: I once thought that the study of Objectivity is Objectivism. "configurated" you shouldn't noun up a verb that's been nouned already And the study of Objectivism is Objectivistalism. heh And that study of that is Objectvisitalistalism. And to infinity it's Objectivist-elementalism! eval: object .((ism)x100) f00li5h: objectismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismism ismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismism ismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismismi With apologies to the 4 people who ever spoke Latin correctly. I can't help but read that as smi smi smi me too jql: reminds me of Peter Pan. -- (Human) Language Fun on Freenode's #perl % I use nedit, the only app with a quadruple-click feature wtf is quadruple-click??? %-/ double-click selects a word, triple-click selects a line, quadruple-click select the whole document. heh :) quintuple-click selects the whole harddisk hexuple-click selects the entire Intranet. And septapable-click selects the entire Internet How many for the multiverse? people, who uses what editor? octaple click selects the known universe and nonaple the rest too. arw: how long does it takes these clicks to run? I think it's super-exponential complexity. rindolf: no matter, the universe is finite :) rindolf: only problem is, the information about your clicking will never reach the entire universe as it expands ;) -- How many clicks must a one man do, before he selects what he wants on Freenode's #perl. % A few weeks ago, I've been to Freenode's #perl, talking to merlyn and other guys, when we got to discuss the Biblical "Tower of Babel Myth". As it turned out, the commonly perceived interpretation was not the one most scholars find as more sensible, which is the one we ended up being taught at Junior High School. What most people think is something like that: <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< The people spoke to each other in the same language, concentrated in one place, and decided to build a tower high enough so they can reach God. God, a small dwarf who lived in the sky, was afraid of the efforts of these people, because he feared they'll reach him. So he casted an 8th level Spell of Language Fragmentation, caused these people to speak in different tongues, and without being able to understand each other, they ended up spreading across the Earth. God was relieved and returned to his dwarfish deeds, as dwarfs do. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Shlomi Fish in http://shlomif.livejournal.com/11889.html (Based on what his Bible teacher said) % * reflexive huzzahs. His Perl books just arrived. reflexive, Which? apeiron: IP and PBP. A couple others are still in transit. reflexive, Nice. :) :) reflexive: what is IP? Intermediate Perl. reflexive: oh, OK. Intellectual Perl. Internet Perl. Invasive Perl Idiot Perl Interactive Perl. I, Perl. Implementing Pies mmm, pie Improbably Perl Ignoble Perl Probably Inverted kojiro: :-) Improper Perl Insidious Perl? ALL PERL IS IMPROPER API? In Soviet Russia all improper is Perl. APII. impudent perl no, you never count words like "is" Incoherent Perl ALL PERL IS INCOHERENT So true. The meaning of "I" on Freenode's #perl. % which is that ACME:: filter that obfusctaes all your source into whitespace? :) Acme::Bleach dkr: as preaction said it is Acme::Bleach. moderation -1 Redundant * dkr smirks get out you slashdotter jk I got moderated overrated yesterday. I felt so loved GumbyGumby: how often do you post to /.? dkr: do it to system() a ssh command. Is doing that often. GumbyBRAIN: how often do you post dkr to Slashdot? do it to list. - Got the Slashdot? on Freenode's #perl. % y'all should spell it in uppercase it being an acronym and all Yes, but we're *lazy*! * WebDragon *so* noticed ;) WebDragon: people that use CamelCase have no right to criticize about capitalization. :) dkr: I hate underscores * dkr contemplates a source code filter that does lets you use spaces in var names by switch them to underscores at compile time black magic dkr: source filters are evil. dkr: in a bad way. dkr: hacking the compiler is much more fun, and evil in a useful way :) WebDragon: recommended perl style is $var_name WebDragon: it's also more readable than $varName or $VarName WebDragon: I'd recommend trying it for at least a month WebDragon: also note that it'll make life easier because you'll be consistent with the rest of perl code mst: I was thinking more along the lines of filenames and irc nicknames than perl variables WebDragon: ah. fair enough :) * WebDragon doesn't use camelcase for perlvars WebDragon: then I shall cease complaining :) ${"Insert a descriptive essay about the variable here"} rofl avar: that won't work with 'use strict 'refs'' avar: I've seen things like that in RL and had recurring nightmares about them when I saw similar and sometimes worse things on thedailywtf.com rindolf: ${main::}{"Insert a descriptive essay about the variable here"} would :) rindolf: or you could just use %_ :) my boss still occasionally uses vars like $x. still trying to beat that behavior out of him * WebDragon only uses x|y|z for cartesian coordinate math which, since I hardly ever do any of that, means the obvious What's in a variable-name? on Freenode's #perl. % watched the Fountain pretty cool' yep what? you think The Fountain was cool? it was pretty artsy. I don't understand the necessity of repeating that same scene 50k times, though. then you didn't get the movie sili: if you repeat a scene 50k times, then the movie will have less entropy and will compress better. Freenode's #perlcafe % high-rez, but I don't know enough to help you because I am a newbie to perl programming and although I am in deep luv with perl and planning on marrying perl, I still have a lot to learn. convivial: you can only marry Perl if polygamy is legal where you live. convivial: because Perl and I are already married. :-D why is that? i'm single :) convivial: but Perl isn't. oh crap ! all the good languages are already married :( convivial: COBOL is still single. convivial: but I heard she's a total bitch. ewwwwwwwwwwww, so is JCL and no one is knocking down either of their doors rindolf, janet reno is single! convivial: what kind of programming language is "Janet Reno"? :) she is a person convivial: I'm not interested in people, I'm only interested in programming languages. rindolf: you should try Ada shaldannon: Ada 95? yeah the syntax of Pascal, the power of Basic and the friendliness of Java Commiting yourself to a programming language on Freenode's #perl. % * shaldannon beats iank over the head with an encyclopedia shaldannon: all volumes of an encyclopedia? rindolf: ha rindolf: every last one of 'em shaldannon: or perhaps a printout of the Wikipedia? rindolf: the whole bookcase shaldannon: which Encyclopedia? rindolf: naw, just get the DVD :) rindolf: I couldn't lift that rindolf: Britanica You could lift the DVD! shaldannon: Start. Working. Out. dwu: oh? shaldannon: Dude, being able to lift the Britannica is hot. * iank -> the internet :-} Seriously. "I can hold the accepted knowledge of a percentage of the human race in my arms!" "Oh, god, that is so sexy." hahahaha Seriously. Smart is hot. Smart and funny... well. * shaldannon is hillarious ;) Uhm. kay. If you start reading the wikipedia lexicographically, will you ever finish at the rate articles are added there? rindolf: yes (citation needed) ha lol @ tarrybone tarrybone++ This reminds me of James Bond 1, where the girl there read an encyclopedia, instead of going to school. Does anyone near Philadelphia want to come to my house and take away my 1920 Britannica? rindolf: hey...when I was in elementary school, I used to read the World Book encyclopedia instead of doing my homework Making use of Encyclopedias at FreeNode's #perl % anyone envy me? i'm refactoring production code that uses the fact that "" is defined, as a hash key. if (ref $ref->{""} ne "ARRAY") { $ref->{""} = [$ref->{""},$_]; } else { $ref->{""} = [@{$ref->{""}},$_]; } :( hey, that looks like fun. Has the author been lynched yet? * integral would have used "\0" :-P the best of it all, is that it's an XML parser $ref->{""} = [ref $ref->{""} eq "ARRAY" ? @{$ref->{""}} : $ref->{""}, $_]; # fixed dwave: does this XML parser makes use of an existing XML parser from CPAN? dwave: or does it do everything from scratch? rindolf: everything from scratch :) dwave: nice! i'm trying to get rid of it dwave: re-inventing square wheels. there's a home made unicode lib too ! dwave: ouch! nice Brilliant! dwave: I suggest a dailywtf.com submission dwave: yeah, I second shaldannon Freenode's #perl. % shlomif * r1712 gegl/ (ChangeLog docs/index-static.html.in): * docs/index-static.html.in: fixed "GEGLs" into "GEGL's" and "GIMPs" into "GIMP's" in the homepage. why is breaking the correct writing a fix? rindolf: ? rindolf: oh i misread :) * rindolf gives some GEGLs and GIMPs to the mitches. haha :) One GEGL each! There's not enough for everybody. GEGLS FOR THE MASSES We should have an assembly line of GEGLs. Mass-produce them for the ever-growing demand. - One GEGL Per Child on GIMPNet's #gimp channel. % rindolf: my brother had AIMA in hard-cover.. and maybe I can get a hold of PAIP s/had/has/; * adeht yays for perl adeht: what did perl do? s/had/has/; adeht: it's actually from sed and ed before that. I know, but I'm using perl syntax :) adeht: now write it in Lisp. heh. in Lisp you wouldn't use a regex for this kind of dumb substitution.. though you could rindolf: a nice way of writing CL code is to imagine your dream language for expressing that particular problem, and then realizing it :) You probably wouldn't use a regex in Python either. adeht: I see. adeht: I'm not going to implement Perl in Common Lisp. :-D heh Freenode's #lisp-il. % > This reminds me of Paul Graham's articles, in which he claims that LISP > programmers are better. But why is it so (whether or not you agree to > the conclusion)? There are at least two opposite reasons: 1. Because > programmers that learned LISP become better 2. Because good programmers > prefer LISP when they come to know it. No. 1 is true, naturally. No. 2 is not true - I know LISP but I prefer Perl. Other like Python, etc. The reasons I don't prefer LISP are: 1. The standards of Common LISP and Scheme don't define anything practical. 2. LISP is at the moment incredibly verbose. 3. As Larry Wall noted, all LISP code comes in parenthesis and so it all looks the same. (Perl is the exact opposite in this regard). 4. I cannot make heads nor tails of serious LISP code. Many LISPers create so many macros and use them along with regular LISP code, so you keep having to refer to the previous definitions, and make a lot of research to get you started. SICP Scheme is easy and fun. But serious LISP code can take too much time to understand. OTOH, recently I had little problem reading the source code of other Perl programmers, and extending it or fixing bugs. (likewise for Python). Shlomi Fish http://www.mail-archive.com/linux-il%40cs.huji.ac.il/msg39629.html % rindolf: I command you both, to uninstall it, and install SuSE10.2 =P "versions" are so annoying. "I use Linux 10.2!" jagerman: I had a friend who insisted the answer to the question "What version of the kernel are you running?" was "gnome". eval: $POE::Kernel::VERSION jagerman: 1.2173 \o/ heh, a friend of mine only remembers me running ximian a few years ago and he keeps on asking me, "why don't you run ximian again?" where ximian == OS for him. jagerman: could be worse lingo-wise, in tech-support many folks asking on Q about 'THEIR internet' isn't working, or 'does it have internet installed?', I .....like.... sir.... when did you manage to buy the internet in whole? ....... ahhhh... the internet is not a socket you plug in any of the ports sir FreeNode's #perl % "We're doing XP [= Extreme Programming] here, so you need to know Ruby, you need to know Design Patterns and you need to know Refactoring." XP may have become a religion. I Refactored yesterday! ew73: using which refactoring pattern? Leviticus 13:22 well you will keep refactoring until you get it right! * rindolf extracts the ew73 method. ew73: this is one of my favourite refactoring patterns. * ew73 idly looks up said passage, just to see if it's any good. What do you have to know to claim you know refactoring? How to click buttons in the right Eclipse menu? integral: the code is in Ruby. Ruby is too cool to be in Eclipse? integral: One time, I moved all this stuff to another subroutine! Lev. 13:22. And if it spread, he shall judge him to have the leprosy: integral: no, but you cannot refactor Ruby code automatically using Eclipse. One time I wrote all this code, but when I was about to go home I found I'd left my brain at home! LOLZ ew73: good butter advert in that The Holy Extreme Programming in Freenode's #perl % Hi all. LeoNerd: here? rindolf: Maybe LeoNerd: "be here or be not here - there is no maybe" :) LeoNerd: a.k.a the law of the exclusion of the middle. I think Yoda phrased that one best. To be here or not to be here on Freenode's #perl % thats just...mental perlmonkey2: still here? rindolf: hi perlmonkey2: hi. phew perlmonkey2: now we have two Perl monkeys. hah good stuff You can never have too many. To produce good stuff like Shakespeare's works, we need an infinite number of monkeys we're starting a monkey clan PeaceNLove: heh. PeaceNLove: and to write like a monkey we need a million Shakespeares. perlmonkey, reproduce and multiply, God be with you PeaceNLove: You can, of course, do anything with an infinite number of perl monkeys. PeaceNLove: Actually a million monkeys on a million typewriters would most probably have not created Hamlet if they started at the beginning of the Universe. perlmonkey2, that's fine, the Universe has not ended yet, they have time -- Monkey Business at Freenode's #perl % We don't know his cellphone number, and even if we did, we would tell you that we didn't know it. Shlomi Fish % sarnold: you go to OGI? rindolf: no; but my boss and a co-worker are professors there, and other co-workers earned degrees there.. sarnold: OK. sarnold, have you got one of those pesky things? muli: just Bachelor of Arts .. no Masters or Ph.D... sarnold: B.Sc or B.A.? rindolf, Bachelor of Arts is B.A. muli: I know. But I was just checking. rindolf: ah, you're right, B.Sc.. I chickened out on the language requirements :) muli: see?? LOL. rindolf, sometimes, two bugs cancel each other. muli: wisely spoken. But mine wasn't a bug - it was a sanity check. -- #offtopic on OFTC % plis tak mi auot from yuor mail list. -- This Engrew sentence contains very few errors. -- From a message sent to Shlomi Fish % Hmmm... xchat-perl is gone. OH NOES! ## what's that for then? Who you're gonna call? Bug-busters!! rindolf: never existed, unless you are using an rpm based system Khisanth: I am. I AINT AFRAID OF NO BUG! f00li5h: heh. when there's something wierd and in your code base, who you gonna call? f00li5h: The police? railbait: BUG BUSTERS! we test it with science then blow it up ... or is that someone else Who you gonna call on Freenode's #perl % How do I look up @- in the perldocs? Hazard: perldoc perlvar rindolf: Thanks. perldoc rindolf I don't know what I'd do without IRC. Daveman: I am not a pragma! I'm a free man! I couldn't even google that. use Daveman (qw(silliness)); * jetscreamer sends rindolf back to the village jetscreamer: is it a Perlisoner village where everyone becomes a pragma? and lots of perlBalloons gumbybrain, how do i make teh web wit shlomi!? jetscreamer: Perloons. jetscreamer: Perlunatics. Perlarks. perlaugh -- Freenode's #perl % Technically, my first language was Turbo Pascal, but I started over with Perl 10 years later (not having programmed in the meantime). I'm obviously damaged goods. ubajas: heh, I read that as "I started with (perl 10) (years later)" instead of "I started with perl (10 years later)" :) Perl 10! Perl for the Fourth Millenium. I thought Perl 6 was supposed to be timeless iank: Maybe I should have added a comma. :-] Perl ∞ perl6 has existed since the beginning of time, or at least it will have existed since then once $Larry finds a time machine. iank: i'm sorry but larry is the prophet i am the messanger! i will be the one to take it back! WHAT. iank: its MY TIME MACHINE! * iank smacks simcop2387 around iank: So it'll be like that Star Trek episode, where they say that the development of computers are caused by time travel from the future? Except that they were too stupid (like most Voyager writers) to get their facts right, and thought computers started in the 70s -- Freenode's #perl % with strict it say me this: Global symbol "$lorem" requires explicit package name at split.pl line 3. milardovich: use "my $lorem = " milardovich: my is your friend. pun not intended. my is my friend. Preferably with a real value after "= " ^.^ dwu: he already has that. that works with my rindolf thaks you!!! milardovich: you're welcome. :) I wish I had a rindolf too. :-\ people here are "nicer" than on #php :P ubajas: I'm mass-produced at Chines sweat-shops. hehe ubajas: they sell me for 30 bucks a piece. milardovich: I've heard some horrible stories about ##php. perl rulz x) milardovich: what brings you to Perl? rindolf: #php apparantly simcop2387: heh. simcop2387++ -- Freenode's #perl % What do you mean by "WDYM"? Shlomi Fish % cl1: what do you do at work? i write code :D cl1: naturally. cl1: to do what? right now at this contract, i'm working with .net, c#, asp.net and pl/sql cl1: sounds enterprisey. please don't turn enterprise into a verb. BinGOs: enterprisey is an adjective, not a verb. Enterprizationaliseation? okay. lol @ enterprisey GumbyBRAIN: BinGOs me! i tend to be good, it doesn't want me to buy an island utopia (you'll get used to bother me. But it is a noun and no more. mmmkay. BinGOs: Actually, it's also an adjective. Even without "y". I HATE YOU ALL. * dwu grin CRITIQUE IS DEFINITELY A FUCKING NOUN. It's also a verb. NO IT ISN'T BinGOs: i shall critique your use of critique JUST BECAUSE SOME DAMNED YANKEE SCUM DECIDE IT IS, DOES NOT MAKE IT SO. It's been used since the 18th century. BinGOs: dwued! I refer you to my earlier hate. I refer you to your fail. not earlier than 18th century I really shouldn't. It's mean. But I will. Because I'm mean. icke: Hence "since". 'criticises'. My fail-gun appears to firing backwards. Damn thing. Your fail gun is... failing? Are you being verbed on Freenode's #perl % Chen Shapira: spent 5 hours yesterday trying to get Windows to print on my new wireless printer. It still doesn't work. On Ubuntu it worked after few minutes. Shlomi Fish: Heh. Linux++ . Chen Shapira: I'd do Windows-- , but this may result in an integer underflow. % is pop3 module avaliable only in perl 5? are you saying you use something other than 5? perl 4 didn't even have modules heh shishirm1: do you want to use it with Perl 4? oh ok sorry i am comlete nooob!! so i am just asking you guys nope is perl 5 a standard now? yes ok great... :) shishirm1: Perl 4 is unmaintained, unloved, deprecated, not recommended, and dead - D. E. D. - DEAD! perl 4 is an EXPERL! all statements that perl4 is a going concern are thus inoperative. How much Perl do you need at Freenode's #perl % A few days ago I joined #mandriva on Freenode trying to get to the bottom of a problem I have with KMail at work, where I cannot start KAddressBook from inside it. I asked my question and soon afterwards received: * One Thunderbird recommendation. * Two Evolution recommendations. * One Sylpheed Claws recommendation. * One GMail recommendation. The problem is that I wasn't interested to learn about alternative E-mail clients, and just wanted to get my problem solved. And in GMail's case it was completely out of the question due to my work's constraints. -- Shlomi Fish in -- http://www.shlomifish.org/philosophy/computers/web/use-qmail-instead/ % RTFM vs. JATFM -------------- I recently had to figure out how to do something with wget: get everything below a directory on the web-server, without following links to outside it. So I logged in to FreeNode's #debian channel, where there are many knowledgable people to ask it. The first answer I got was "RTFM". So, I read the wget man page, but could not find it there. Eventually, after telling people that it would be faster to give an answer, I got a reply ( add the -np -r flags). But this has been the last straw. I composed my own acronym. Just like RTFM is "Read the Fabulous Manual" and STFW is "Search the Fabulous Web", then JATFM is "Just Answer the Fabulous Man". It means that it's usually faster to answer someone's question than to ask him to RTFM, which is just going to annoy him. I think the RTFM mantra has done a lot of damage in the UNIX/Linux world, and I hope JATFMing would prove to be a more healthy ideology. -- Shlomi Fish in -- http://www.advogato.org/person/shlomif/diary.html?start=215 % A: I'm busy right now - I have to do TWAIN. B: Do Shania Twain? C: Oh, I'd love to do Shania Twain. -- Adapted from a conversation on Freenode's #perl % --> spx2 has joined #soc-help I want to FIGHT FOR PERL IN GSOC ! I feel the power of metal in my veins perl is flowing in my blood ! What perl Armies can I join this YEAR ? spx2: a lot :) ambs: Hail BRETHREN ! where are the armies ??? I want to ENGAGE and start preparing my weapons ! ambs: what projects are this year ? spx2: ideas at http://www.perlfoundation.org/perl5/index.cgi?gsoc2008_projects I will fight this year in the PERL battle ! spx2: Python is for the WEAK and TIMID! rindolf: TOTALLY ! * spx2 examines the war grounds % Hrm. More infernal questions, mainly because I am trying to make my perl prettier and contain less nasty if's. I have $foo and $bar which are obtained from split(/ /, 'kitten loving'). But I don't want undef if the split fails, I'd rather '' for $bar or both. What's the nicest way to do that? ($foo, $bar) = map { $_ // "" } split / /, $str; # 5.10 version :) Noo 5.10! :) ($foo, $bar) = map { defined $_ ? $_ : "" } split / /, $str; # probably some other shorter ways too edeca: [bad idea] you can also try using the conditional->inheritance refactoring. :-) * Khisanth pours boiling coffee on rindolf Khisanth: I hate coffee, but I guess I deserved it. That was a joke, of course. you weren't really supposed to like having boiling anything poured on you but I guess you are into the kinkier stuff -- Freenode's #perl % rbastic: QBasic was the sh*t! rbastic: well, not really. rindolf: yup, that language is responsible for me having gotten into programming to begin with. 8 yrs old and writing qbasic scripts with QBasic for Dummies by my side rbastic: I started when I was 10. rbastic: I know some people who started much later. Late bloomer .. didn't start till I was 15. heh, I started at 14... I could not have a computer before that rbastic: but I know a girl who started programming when she was 6. Or was it 8? rindolf, CAN HAS PHONE NUMBER?! lol Zoffix: NO CAN! :( Zoffix: only have her MSN. gimmegimmegimme Heh. :) Zoffix: LOL. -- Geek love on Freenode's #perl % Juerd: eh in today's world of heavy JS on the clientside, i think it makes a little more sense to use the same lang. everywhere rbastic: JS on the client side is because often it's the only option the universe provides. Juerd: from a business perspective, you reduce the complexity and potential difficulties in finding new hires with the same skillset rbastic: have you heard of RJS? rbastic: On the server side, however, you have great freedom. rindolf: no, what's that? larry wants perl6 to run on javascript :) rbastic: "One Language; and One Sayings". rbastic: Exactly. I would never hire a server side programmer who knows *only* Javascript, and is too stupid to learn whatever we're using on the server side. rbastic: my translation to a sentence from the Tower of Babel myth. Juerd: i'll agree with that also. any real programmer knows or has at least coded in half a dozen languages before From a business perspective, you should avoid crap coders at all cost. Knows *or* has coded... Hmmm...! rbastic: though according to what most scholars believe it was not about using one language but rather thinking the same. I hope they haven't coded in half a dozen languages without knowing them. That'd be scary. Reality is scary, Juerd Hmm, BASIC, FORTRAN, COBOL, assembler, C, more assembler, C, Pascal ... Perl! -- The Grand Unified Programming Language % rbastic: now I'm working with C++. rbastic: I found out that my project compiles really quickly. rbastic: under 5 or 10 minutes on a P4-2.4GHz with 1 GB of RAM. rbastic: maybe KDE is making g++ look bad. rindolf: yeah, i'm not a big KDE fan rbastic: actually I'm using KDE-3.5.8 here. rbastic: I was talking about the compilation speed of KDE apps and KDE itself. rbastic: possibly because each file has half-a-gazillion headers. My C++ code is a server one, so we don't have too many deps. yeah, isn't there a way to cache header files? ie. in their "compiled" form? or is that something I'm remembering from some other programming language that purported to build on top of C? rbastic: MSVC has that. ahh, nods rbastic: no, Visual C++ has precompiled headers. rbastic: I remember that I kept deleting them. yeah, couldn't remember lol Pascal compiles very quickly. That's one of the things I enjoyed in Delphi. ugh, the app i'm been maintaining in Java was originally a fat client/server desktop app, written in Delphi rbastic: ah. i remember booting up the old app for the first time, and being amazed at how slow it was eventually, i had to duplicate a feature in the Java code and i wasn't sure how it was implemented before rbastic: you mean the Java app is faster? :S so being as i had no Delphi experience, and the newer Delphi environments made NO sense to me at all, i just opened up the SQL Server query analyzer rindolf: yes, but only b/c the Delphi programmer was an idiot, issuing queries over and over again needlessly rindolf: if you could've seen the MSSQL Performance Analyzer or whatever, it was basically just.. Query1, Query2, Query3, Query1, Query2, Query3, repeat. it was probably the worst ive ever seen in my life.. belongs on www.thedailywtf.com -- Can I haz a fast compiler on Freenode's #perl % scrottie: hi. hi rindolf! scrottie: are you the scrottie from use.perl.org? yeah. scrottie: ah, nice to meet you. Well, chat with you on IRC at least. * scrottie cowers from the swinging fist probably coming his way scrottie: I'm "Shlomi%20Fish" oh, heh, thanks It's a curse. hmm. i vaguely remember interesting stuff from you but can't honestly place what. I know I've seen you around here before too. Yeah, my use.perl.org blog is mostly technical and perl-related. I post on use.perl.org entirely too much. So it may be a bit boring. Sometimes it's a bit philosophical. scrottie: yes. heh. and mine is offensively off-topic. scrottie: I have other blogs. I've posted to livejournal twice! -- I think too much - therefore I blog too much on Freenode's #perl % Can we add styles like , , etc.? Or colours? Or blink? Or images? Or flash applets? ! rindolf: No I think. Google's Web Application does not allow them. It is just a