Chuck Norris wrote a complete Perl 6 implementation in a day, but then destroyed all evidence with his bare hands, so no-one will know his secrets. -- Shlomi Fish -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ ) % Chuck Norris refactors 10 million lines of Perl code before lunch. -- Shlomi Fish -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ ) % Chuck Norris is his own boss. If you hire him, he'll tell your boss what to do. -- Shlomi Fish -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ ) % Chuck Norris read the entire English Wikipedia in 24 hours. Twice. ( Actually, he wrote it in 24 hours. Twice. The first time longhand in blood. The second time he typed it in from memory (by *Drew Roberts*). ) -- Shlomi Fish -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ ) % Chuck Norris does not code; when he sits at a computer, it just does whatever he wants. (By: *Kattana*.) -- Kattana -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ ) % Chuck Norris commits with a roundhouse kick into the SVN server's head. -- Daxim -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ ) % Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes. (Su-Shee) He corrects God. (Shlomi Fish) -- Su-Shee and Shlomi Fish -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ ) % Chuck Norris is the ghost author of the entire Debian GNU/Linux distribution. And he wrote it in 24 hours, while taking snack breaks. -- Shlomi Fish -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ ) % Chuck Norris doesn't commit changes, the changes commit for him. -- Araujo -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ ) % Bugs are too afraid to reproduce on Chuck Norris' computer. As a result, when he uses Microsoft Windows, it behaves just like a Linux system. -- Shlomi Fish -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ ) % Chuck Norris is a real programmer. He writes programs by implementing the most optimised machines for them using real atoms. -- Shlomi Fish -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ ) % Deletionists delete Wikipedia articles that they consider lame. Chuck Norris deletes Deletionists whom he considers lame. -- Shlomi Fish -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ ) % There are no deletionists. Only Wikipedia articles Chuck Norris allows to live. (By: *joeyadams*) -- joeyadams -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ ) % Wikipedia deletionists don't delete lame Wikipedia articles. Chuck Norris deletes lame Wikipedia articles. -- Shlomi Fish -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ ) % No one knows all of Perl - not even Larry Wall. Except Chuck Norris, who knows all of Perl 5, Perl 6 and can answer questions about the design of Perl 7. -- Shlomi Fish -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ ) % Chuck Norris reads all messages posted to LKML (= the Linux Kernel Mailing List), understands them all, and he kills all gnomes he sees in sight. -- Shlomi Fish -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ ) % When Chuck Norris uses Gentoo, "emerge kde" finishes in under a minute. A computer cannot afford to keep Chuck waiting for too long. -- Shlomi Fish -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ ) % Chuck Norris is the greatest man in history. He killed all the great men who could ever pose a competition. -- Shlomi Fish -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ ) % "My only boss is God. And Chuck Norris who is his boss." -- Shlomi Fish -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ ) % Chuck Norris can make the statement "This statement is false." a true one. -- Shlomi Fish -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ ) % Chuck Norris can end world hunger, but he thinks that hungry people make humanity a more challenging adversary. If everyone had enough to eat, it would be too easy for him. -- Shlomi Fish -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ ) % Chuck Norris can read Perl code that was RSA encrypted. -- Shlomi Fish -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ ) % Chuck Norris once wrote a 10 million lines C++ program in Microsoft Notepad without having to use the backspace key. And it compiled without errors or warnings, and was 100% bug-free. -- Shlomi Fish -- Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Chuck-Norris/ ) % XSLT is the worst thing since non-sliced bread. -- Shlomi Fish -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ ) % Mothers used to tell their children stories about XSLT to scare them. -- Shlomi Fish -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ ) % XSLT is the number one cause of programmers' suicides since Visual Basic 1.0. -- Shlomi Fish -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ ) % The X in XSLT stands for eXtermination. -- Shlomi Fish -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ ) % The only things worse than XSLT are Excel and Sugar-Less Tea (XSLT). -- Shlomi Fish -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ ) % XSLT is what Chuck Norris has nightmares of. -- Shlomi Fish -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ ) % Confucius says: "XSLT made me realise humanity was hopeless.". -- Shlomi Fish -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ ) % Even APL won't make friends with XSLT. -- Zuu -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ ) % God considered using XSLT as the tenth plague of Egypt, but then thought it was too evil. -- Shlomi Fish -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ ) % In Soviet Russia, XSLT codes you. Badly! -- Shlomi Fish -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ ) % Satan condemned Hitler for a million years of writing XSLT. -- Shlomi Fish -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ ) % The KGB used to torture their victims by having them look at scrolling XSLT code. -- Shlomi Fish -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ ) % "My name is Inigo Montoya. You forced my father to write XSLT. Prepare to die! And be thankful I don't force you to write XSLT." -- Shlomi Fish -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ ) % Stray XSLT code causes more deaths than road accidents. -- Shlomi Fish -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ ) % http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evil redirects to XSLT. -- Shlomi Fish -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ ) % * Larry Wall can understand the Perl code he wrote last year. * Larry Wall gets the colon. * There are at least 137 Larry Walls in the U.S. but only one that matters. * Larry Wall applies a patch manually quicker than GNU patch. * Larry Wall dreams in Perl. * Larry Wall can program in his sleep. * Larry Wall is lazy, impatient and full of hubris. * Larry Wall has more dollars in the bank than in his Perl code. -- Larry Wall facts by Shlomi Fish -- Shlomi Fish -- Shlomif Fish’s "Larry Wall Facts" ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Larry-Wall/ ) % * Larry Wall *does* know all of Perl. However, he pretends to be wrong or misinformed, so people will think he's not as awesome as he really is. * Larry Wall's pure-Perl code is faster than Assembly. * Larry Wall has been changing the world. By modifying its very source code. -- Larry Wall facts by Shlomi Fish -- Shlomi Fish -- Shlomif Fish’s "Larry Wall Facts" ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/Larry-Wall/ ) % We have nothing to fear but fear itself. Fear has nothing to fear but XSLT. -- Shlomi Fish -- XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends ( http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/facts/XSLT/ )