Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #1

Chuck Norris wrote a complete Perl 6 implementation in a day, but then destroyed all evidence with his bare hands, so no-one will know his secrets.

Shlomi Fish Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #2

Chuck Norris refactors 10 million lines of Perl code before lunch.

Shlomi Fish Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #3

Chuck Norris is his own boss. If you hire him, he'll tell your boss what to do.

Shlomi Fish Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #4

Chuck Norris read the entire English Wikipedia in 24 hours. Twice.

( Actually, he wrote it in 24 hours. Twice. The first time longhand in blood. The second time he typed it in from memory (by Drew Roberts). )

Shlomi Fish Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish Kattana's Chuck Norris Fact #5

Chuck Norris does not code; when he sits at a computer, it just does whatever he wants. (By: Kattana.)

Kattana Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Daxim's Chuck Norris Fact #6

Chuck Norris commits with a roundhouse kick into the SVN server's head.

Daxim Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Su-Shee's Chuck Norris Fact #7

Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes. (Su-Shee)

He corrects God. (Shlomi Fish)

Su-Shee and Shlomi Fish Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #8

Chuck Norris is the ghost author of the entire Debian GNU/Linux distribution. And he wrote it in 24 hours, while taking snack breaks.

Shlomi Fish Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Araujo's Chuck Norris Fact #9

Chuck Norris doesn't commit changes, the changes commit for him.

Araujo Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #10

Bugs are too afraid to reproduce on Chuck Norris' computer. As a result, when he uses Microsoft Windows, it behaves just like a Linux system.

Shlomi Fish Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #11

Chuck Norris is a real programmer. He writes programs by implementing the most optimised machines for them using real atoms.

Shlomi Fish Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #12

Deletionists delete Wikipedia articles that they consider lame.

Chuck Norris deletes Deletionists whom he considers lame.

Shlomi Fish Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends joeyadams's Chuck Norris Fact #13

There are no deletionists. Only Wikipedia articles Chuck Norris allows to live. (By: joeyadams)

joeyadams Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends joeyadams's Chuck Norris Fact #14

Wikipedia deletionists don't delete lame Wikipedia articles. Chuck Norris deletes lame Wikipedia articles.

Shlomi Fish Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #15

No one knows all of Perl - not even Larry Wall. Except Chuck Norris, who knows all of Perl 5, Perl 6 and can answer questions about the design of Perl 7.

Shlomi Fish Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #16

Chuck Norris reads all messages posted to LKML (= the Linux Kernel Mailing List), understands them all, and he kills all gnomes he sees in sight.

Shlomi Fish Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #17

When Chuck Norris uses Gentoo, "emerge kde" finishes in under a minute. A computer cannot afford to keep Chuck waiting for too long.

Shlomi Fish Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #18

Chuck Norris is the greatest man in history. He killed all the great men who could ever pose a competition.

Shlomi Fish Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #19

"My only boss is God. And Chuck Norris who is his boss."

Shlomi Fish Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #20

Chuck Norris can make the statement "This statement is false." a true one.

Shlomi Fish Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #21

Chuck Norris can end world hunger, but he thinks that hungry people make humanity a more challenging adversary. If everyone had enough to eat, it would be too easy for him.

Shlomi Fish Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #22

Chuck Norris can read Perl code that was RSA encrypted.

Shlomi Fish Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Shlomif Fish’s Chuck Norris Fact #23

Chuck Norris once wrote a 10 million lines C++ program in Microsoft Notepad without having to use the backspace key. And it compiled without errors or warnings, and was 100% bug-free.

Shlomi Fish Chuck Norris Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #1

XSLT is the worst thing since non-sliced bread.

Shlomi Fish XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #2

Mothers used to tell their children stories about XSLT to scare them.

Shlomi Fish XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #3

XSLT is the number one cause of programmers' suicides since Visual Basic 1.0.

Shlomi Fish XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #4

The X in XSLT stands for eXtermination.

Shlomi Fish XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #5

The only things worse than XSLT are Excel and Sugar-Less Tea (XSLT).

Shlomi Fish XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #6

XSLT is what Chuck Norris has nightmares of.

Shlomi Fish XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #7

Confucius says: "XSLT made me realise humanity was hopeless.".

Shlomi Fish XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Zuu's "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #8

Even APL won't make friends with XSLT.

Zuu XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #9

God considered using XSLT as the tenth plague of Egypt, but then thought it was too evil.

Shlomi Fish XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #10

In Soviet Russia, XSLT codes you. Badly!

Shlomi Fish XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #11

Satan condemned Hitler for a million years of writing XSLT.

Shlomi Fish XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #12

The KGB used to torture their victims by having them look at scrolling XSLT code.

Shlomi Fish XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #13

"My name is Inigo Montoya. You forced my father to write XSLT. Prepare to die! And be thankful I don't force you to write XSLT."

Shlomi Fish XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #14

Stray XSLT code causes more deaths than road accidents.

Shlomi Fish XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #15

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evil redirects to XSLT.

Shlomi Fish XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends Larry Wall Facts

Larry Wall can understand the Perl code he wrote last year.
Larry Wall gets the colon.
There are at least 137 Larry Walls in the U.S. but only one that matters.
Larry Wall applies a patch manually quicker than GNU patch.
Larry Wall dreams in Perl.
Larry Wall can program in his sleep.
Larry Wall is lazy, impatient and full of hubris.
Larry Wall has more dollars in the bank than in his Perl code.

-- Larry Wall facts by Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomif Fish’s "Larry Wall Facts" Larry Wall Facts No. 2

Larry Wall does know all of Perl. However, he pretends to be wrong or misinformed, so people will think he's not as awesome as he really is.
Larry Wall's pure-Perl code is faster than Assembly.
Larry Wall has been changing the world. By modifying its very source code.

-- Larry Wall facts by Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomif Fish’s "Larry Wall Facts" Shlomif Fish’s "How XSLT is Evil" Facts #16

We have nothing to fear but fear itself. Fear has nothing to fear but XSLT.

Shlomi Fish XSLT Facts by Shlomi Fish and Friends