Shlomi Fish's Favourite Fortunes

What is is

What is is. Perceive It. Integrate it. Act on it. Idealize it.

I/O, I/O…

I/O, I/O,
It's off to disk I go,
a bit or byte to read or write,
I/O, I/O, I/O, I/O

Roses are red, Violets are Blue ("Fresh Prince of Bel-Air")

Will: "Roses are red,
Violets are Blue.
Jazz and I are black,
But, Carlton, what are you?"

Excerpt from "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air"

"Wives live longer than husbands…"

And the top story for today: wives live longer than husbands because they are not married to women.

Let others praise ancient times

Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these.

"Bring it On": Cheerleader Song

I'm sexy, I'm cute, I'm popular to boot.
I'm bitchin', great hair, the boys all love to stare!
I'm wanted, I'm hot, I'm everything you're not.
I'm pretty, I'm cool, I dominate this school.
Who am I? Just guess. Guys wanna touch my chest.
I'm rockin', I smile and many think I'm vile.
I'm flying, I jump you can look but don't you hump. Whoo!
I major, I roar. I swear I'm not a whore.
We cheer and we lead - we act like we're on speed.
You hate us cause we're beautiful but we don't like you either.
We're cheerleaders. We are cheerleaders!

Excerpt from "Bring it On"

"Suppose x is the speed…"

An algebra teacher is discussing a problem with a student. The teacher says: "Now, suppose x is the speed at which the train is travelling...". And the student says "But teacher, what if x is not the speed at which the train is travelling?

The Shibber Factor

Keep all the grades of the students who passed the test as is, and convert the grades of all the students who failed to 54.

God is Dead

"God is Dead"

-- Neitzsche

"Neitzsche is Dead"

-- God

( writing on a toilet's wall )

A serious Philosophical Work

A serious and good philosophical work could be written that would consist entirely of jokes.

-- Ludwig Wittgenstein

The difference between a bad student and a good student

The difference between a bad student and a good student is that a bad student forgets all the material five minutes before the exam, while a good student five minutes after it.

Histeria! - "did the Fall Hurt You?"

Knuth: Beware of Bugs

Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it.

Stallmanism vs. Stalinism

> > "It's not because they have suddenly converted to Stallmanism."

> Anyone else misread that as "Stalinism"?

The word "Stalinism" is deprecated, the correct term is "GNU/Communism".

-- Spotted on Slashdot

Slashdot: Creative Shells

Personally, I'd have a far better time writing scripts if I had some more creative shells to script in...

ASMsh: The Assembly shell. Commands include MOV, SHL, SHR, JNE, etc.

shellTM: Turing machine shell. Only four commands. Read, write, move left, move right. Capable of producing any programming language imaginable, given enough time and nerves of steel.

GeneSH: Four commands. G, A, T, C. Need I say more?

Qsh: Only uses one environment variable, which contains all possible values simultaneously. Method of scripting: isolate the universe in which the desired result is already accomplished, and intersect with it.

Of course, I never said they'd be easy to use. But then, if these shells existed, and I knew a sysadmin who used any of them, you can believe Sysadmin Day would be a far more celebrated holiday.

The Night Watchman on a Slashdot Comment

Mission from God

We're on a mission from God.

-- The Blues Brothers

Sitting Here Doing Nothing

It may look like I'm just sitting here doing nothing, but I'm really actively waiting for all my problems to go away.

"The ones of you that have heard it before"

I'm going to do a routine now, the ones of you that have heard it before may enjoy hearing it again. The ones of you that have not heard it before - may enjoy hearing it again next time.

-- Victor Borge

Larry Wall: "I'm an Optimist"

I guess I really am an optimist. A paranoid optimist, true, but an optimist nonetheless.

Larry Wall, "The 3rd State of the Onion"

"Linus Torvalds's Greatest Hack"

In fact, I think Linus's [= Linus Torvalds'] cleverest and most consequential hack was not the construction of the Linux kernel itself, but rather his invention of the Linux development model. When I expressed this opinion in his presence once, he smiled and quietly repeated something he has often said: "I'm basically a very lazy person who likes to get credit for things other people actually do." Lazy like a fox. Or, as Robert Heinlein famously wrote of one of his characters, too lazy to fail.

Eric Raymond, the "Cathedral and the Bazaar"

"Democracy is two wolves and a lamb…"

Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote.

Misattributed to Benjamin Franklin

On Tech Progress

Shlomi Fish: And to think that home desktops can simulate these systems [= PDP-10's and PDP-11's] much faster than those ancient mainframes.

William Lee Irwin III: Shlomi, and to think the net usefulness of the home desktops is is less than what users got out of those mainframes.

"I feel much better…"

I feel much better, now that I've given up hope.

Ashleigh Brilliant

"I have abandoned my search…"

I have abandoned my search for truth, and am now looking for a good fantasy.

Ashleigh Brilliant

"I may not be totally perfect…"

I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent.

Ashleigh Brilliant

Dijkstra on Whether a Computer can Think

The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.

Edsger W. Dijkstra

Intelligent Life

Sometimes I think the surest sign, that intelligent life exists else where in our universe is, is that none of it has tried to contact us.

Calvin

The more I think about it

The more I think about it, the more I think I should think about it some more.

Clarissa in "Clarissa Explains it All"

Rusty Russell's Signature

Rusty Russell's signature:

Anyone who quotes me in their sig is an idiot.
-- Rusty Russell

The First Law of Thermodynamics

The First Law of Thermodynamics: A system with a constant energy, volume and pressure behaves in any way it wants.

Linus Torvalds about His Macros

I wrote them (and looking at the original ones, I'm a bit ashamed: the "toupper()" and "tolower()" macros are so horribly ugly that I wouldn't admit to writing them if it wasn't because somebody else claimed to have done so.)

Linus Torvalds on the Linux Kernel Mailing List in response to SCO's Linux Kernel ownership claims.

Everything is Owned by SCO

Baby making is owned by SCO. Linus's mother never payed royalities.

Also, having a name is a SCO trade secret. By giving Linus a name, they again ask for being fined.

Best regards,

Iztok

(p.s.: Iztok is owned by SCO, and phrase "Best Regards" as well. LWN is owned by SCO.)

An LWN comment in regards to the SCO ownership claims of Linux Kernel code.

The source of my intention

The source of my intention
really isn't crime prevention
My intention is prevention of the lie.

Scatman John
"Scatman's World"

ESR: "To follow the Path"

To follow the path:
look to the master,
follow the master,
walk with the master,
see through the master,
become the master.

Eric S. Raymond in "How To Become a Hacker"

"GIMP Should Manipulate SVGs" on #gimp

Hanah Senesh: Walk to Caesarea

My God, My God,
May it never, never end.
The sand and the sea,
the jitter of the water,
the shine of the sky,
the prayer of Man.

"A Walk to Caesarea" / Hanah Senesh
( Translated from Hebrew by Shlomi Fish )

"I am not without artifice where magic is concerned…"

'You must know that I am not without artifice where magic is concerned,' said Weasel. 'Only last year did I - assisted by my friend there - part the notoriously powerful Archmage of Ymitury from his staff, his belt of moon jewels, and his life, in that approximate order.'

Linus Torvalds about the SHA1 Security

If we want to have any kind of confidence that the hash is really unbreakable, we should make it not just longer than 160 bits, we should make sure that it's two or more hashes, and that they are based on totally different principles.

And we should all digitally sign every single object too, and we should use 4096-bit PGP keys and unguessable passphrases that are at least 20 words in length. And we should then build a bunker 5 miles underground, encased in lead, so that somebody cannot flip a few bits with a ray-gun, and make us believe that the sha1's match when they don't. Oh, and we need to all wear aluminum propeller beanies to make sure that they don't use that ray-gun to make us do the modification _ourselves_.

Neo-Tech: About Capitalism

The dictionary definition of capitalism is: An economic system characterized by private ownership of capital goods and by investments that are determined by private decision rather than by state control. Prices, production and distribution of goods are determined by a free market.

...

But most writers and commentators put dishonest altruistic-platonistic connotations on the meaning of capitalism: A system of exploitation of the weak by the strong -- devoid of love and good will. A system in which unwanted goods and services are pushed onto consumers through clever, deceptive advertising for the sole purpose of profits and greed. Capitalism dominates most Western governments. Capitalism, big business, and fascism are synonymous.

Neo-Tech IV / The Neo-Tech Discovery.

"People who disagree with me…"

Which mindset is right? Mine, of course. People who disagree with me are by definition crazy. (Until I change my mind, when they can suddenly become upstanding citizens. I'm flexible, and not black-and-white.)

One bug, two bugs, tar bugs, su bugs,

One bug, two bugs, tar bugs, su bugs,
grep bugs, mew bugs, old bugs, new bugs.
This bug has a little hack,
This bug has a broken stack.
Say! What a lot of bugs to track.
Yes, some are in tar, and some in su.
Some are old. And some are new.
Some in sed, and some in jed.
And some are even in parted.
Why are they in parted, jed and sed?
I do not know. Bugs should be dead!
Some in jpeg, and some in TIFF
This TIFF one has an attached diff.
From there to here, from here to there
Test release bugs are everywhere.

Charlene: The Sweet Life

"I took the sweet life
but I never knew
I'd be bitter from the sweet"

Neo-Tech: Fully Integrated Honesty

Yet, acting on fully integrated honesty (Neo-Tech), not reason itself, is the basic moral act. When Genghis Khan, for example, chose to use reasoning for a specific military move, then in an out-of-context sense, he chose to act morally by protecting himself and his troops (thus filling human biological needs). But in the larger sense of fully integrated honesty, Khan's total actions were grossly immoral in choosing to use aggressive force in becoming a mass murderer (thus negating human biological needs). The highly destructive, irrational immorality of Genghis Khan's overall dictatorial military actions far outweighed any narrow, out-of-context "moral" actions. ...Genghis Khan was enormously evil as were Stalin, Hitler, Mao, Castro, Pol Pot.

Neo-Tech Orientation and Definitions
http://www.neo-tech.com/orientation/

chromatic: "Ruby Code Can't Be Bad"

Why are there so many unmaintainable applications written in PHP and Perl? Because PHP and Perl let undisciplined, inexperienced programmers write useful code. So does Ruby -- but give it the popularity and longevity of PHP and Perl (at least in English-speaking circles) and I bet you'll see plenty of bad code written in Ruby too.

This seems like a variant of the Hackers and Painters fallacy. (Paul Graham is rich. Paul Graham writes Lisp. Therefore everyone who writes Lisp will get rich.) "All of the good, smart programmers I know are using Ruby. They write good code. Therefore you can't write bad code in Ruby!"

It feels like there's another fallacy in there somewhere. I want to call it the Pre-Post-Java Blindspot, where Java was the beginning of Serious Programming Languages and only its successor will unseat it. (Like any good fallacy, you have to ignore history, such as the fact that Ruby's between 10 and 12 years old.)

(I mean, if you really just can't read regular expressions, why not admit it? You could start a twelve-step program or something.)

I Upgraded the Plot Device's…

I have upgraded the plot device's hard-drive, soft-drive and squishy drive,and it is now being the world's most powerful super-computer!

The Angry Scientist in "Sheep in the Big City"

Affairs of Dragons

Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

Source unknown.

Bjarne Stroustrup about Java

Much of the relative simplicity of Java is - like for most new languages - partly an illusion and partly a function of its incompleteness. As time passes, Java will grow significantly in size and complexity. It will double or triple in size and grow implementation-dependent extensions or libraries. That is the way every commercially successful language has developed. Just look at any language you consider successful on a large scale. I know of no exceptions, and there are good reasons for this phenomenon. [I wrote this before 2000; now see a preview of Java 1.5 - http://xrl.us/kb3a ]

Oscar Wilde on Redundancy (from the Uncyclopedia)

"I simply hate, detest, loathe, despise, and abhor redundancy."

An Oscar Wilde quote, that quotes Oscar Wilde on his views on Redundancy in a quote.

Vital Enterprise Applications Are (DailyWTF)

In yesterday's post (Bitten by the Enterprise Bug), we learned how vital enterprise application are for proactive organizations leveraging collective synergy to think outside the box and formulate their key objectives into a win-win game plan with a quality-driven approach that focuses on empowering key players to drive-up their core competencies and increase expectations with an all-around initiative to drive up the bottom-line.

http://thedailywtf.com/forums/64833/ShowPost.aspx

Beatles: "Come Together"

He says "One and one and one is three".
Got to be good-looking 'cause he's so hard to see.

Excerpt from "Come Together" by the Beatles.

The Smithosnian (from Ozy and Millie)

Slashdot: Vim Version 7

Version 7? [of Vim]

GNU Emacs is at version 21.4. Can we really trust such an immature editor?

"yet another coward" in a Slashdot comment for the announcement of the release of Vim version 7. http://it.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=185216&cid=15286781

Star Trek Plot on FreeNode's #bmp - The Beep Media Player channel.

I'd love to change the world

I'd love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

-- Unknown

"What are stars?" on the Lion King

Martin about UNIX Letting You Shoot Yourself in the Foot

>That's the nice thing about UNIX, it gives you so many >ways to shoot yourself in the foot. :)

At least it does allow you to shoot yourself in the foot.

It doesn't say "shooting feet isn't supported"

Or you can shoot yourself in the foot by writing a management console plugin that will pass the data to Word using VBA and then call Excel via com to split it into columns and then write an activeX control to get the columns back as

Dazjorz: "We are the Borg on IRC"

[21:10] *** dazjorz changed nick to We
[21:10] * We are the Borg.
[21:10] *** We changed nick to Lower
[21:10] * Lower your shields and power down your weapons.
[21:11] *** Lower changed nick to We
[21:11] * We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own.
[21:11] *** We changed nick to Resistance
[21:11] * Resistance is futile.
[21:11] *** Resistance changed nick to __You
[21:11] * __You will be assimilated.
[21:11] *** __You changed nick to dazjorz

God is my favourite…

"(God) is my favourite fictional character." - Homer Simpson

Learn several new words everyday

You should learn several new words everyday--eventually you will forget how to speak so others can understand you.

Yaakov on Freenode's #perl

Acme::NewMath

For thousands of years, we have been plagued by mathematicians insisting that two plus two equals four. Who elected them? I, Stevie-O, am promoting an entirely new system, where two plus two equals FIVE. Eventually, it will be extended to provide other stuff these power-hungry madmen kept hidden away for themselves, such as division by zero, cold fusion, the ability to solve the halting problem, and the secret to attracting hot chicks.

Stevie-O on the Acme::NewMath POD document.
http://search.cpan.org/dist/Acme-NewMath/

Should Perl drop SCO Support?

> Should Perl do the same? [= Drop SCO Support]

Absolutely not. Perl supports defunct operating systems, buggy operating systems, commercial operating systems, and poorly marketed operating systems. It would be inappropropriate to drop SCO just because it happens to be all of the above.

Climbing for the Apocalypse on #perlcafe

Slashdot: "In Soviet Russia…"

In Soviet Russia, every time you kill a kitten, god masturbates

GyroTech on http://linux.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=195378&cid=16009070

"I Wrote This Much Code" on Freenode's #perlcafe

Slashdot: Dealing with RMS's Vim Attitude

Recently, Richard Stallman gave a speech in which he illustrated an academic point about programming history by quoting a guy who described vi as 'an editor spread at sword-point and which is really hard to use'.

I think I speak for all moderate vi(m) users when I say -- DEATH and DAMNATION (in that order) to this Cardinal of the CTRL key! Needless to say my own local vim user group has dispatched assassins to kill Mr. Stallman, but this is hardly the end of the story. The fact is that a man has referred to another man who in turn expressed some often-voiced reservations about OUR EDITOR! On behalf of all editors of text everywhere, I implore EMACS users to return to the true path, lest you be burned at the stake and then go to hell, the Buffer From Which There Is No Unloading. We'll see how productive you are then, with your ctrl-meta-alt and your ELISP and your 'ring buffer', whatever THAT is.

Peace and love to all.
^C
^X
quit
q
QUIT
exit :exit
zz
ZZ

kahei on http://linux.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=196931&cid=16136657

Linus: "debugging my own machines"

The thing is, I don't actually enjoy debugging my own machines. I _much_ prefer having other people debug _their_ machines, and fixing my machine in the process. So I didn't want just something that worked on the Mac Mini, I wanted something that works _universally_, so that hopefully people who are even crazier than me will waste _their_ time trying to get these machines working.

Linus Torvalds in http://lwn.net/Articles/188123/

Slasdhot: Iran: "First they came for"

Re:Silly Iranians... ALWAYS!

First, they came for the newspapers, and I did nothing because the Farsi Side comic was just re-prints now.

Next, they came for the books, and I looked the other way because the Death to America Book of the Month Club was only recommending books to burn anyway.

Then, they came for the Satellite Dishes, and I said nothing because I still had a year left on my Infidelphia Cable contract.

Finally, they came for my Internet Service, and no one was left to hear my ululation!

patrixmyth on Slashdot http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=201413&cid=16490111

Linus Torvalds: "I Won't Always Change my Mind"

I don't guarantee that I always change my mind, but I _can_ guarantee that if most of the people I trust tell me I'm a dick-head, I'll at least give it a passing thought.

[ Chorus: "You're a dick-head, Linus" ]

Linus Torvalds on http://lwn.net/Articles/201440/

Review of the Oxford English Dictionary

Review of the Oxford English Dictionary on Amazon.com:

[One Star]

"an epic work that has trouble holding the interest"

By: a customer

I'm at the ABs, and I still can't get a grip on the plot. Characters enter, are introduced in exhausting detail -- and then disappear again! Very frustrating. The only time an old character shows up again is in another's history! A lot like _A Dance to the Music of Time_, I suppose.

Perhaps things will become clearer when we meet Oxford, English or Dictionary -- clearly three key figures. Some kind of menage a trois?

Neo-Tech: Selfishness

Although the contents of her book, The Virtue of Selfishness, are precisely accurate and widely integrated, Ayn Rand committed an error by distorting the word "selfishness" in fashioning a dramatic statement. The word "selfishness" does have valuable, precise denotations of "an irrational, harmful disregard for others". Rand could have strengthened her work by selecting accurate wording such as rational self-growth. Instead, she unnecessarily bent and undermined the precise, valuable meaning of selfishness. ...As with selflessness, selfishness is a form of immature, destructive, irrational behavior -- a form of stupid behavior.

Neo-Tech Advantage No. 14 - "Self-Growth vs. Selfless View"
http://www.neo-tech.com/neotech/advantages/advantage14.html

Alan Kay on C++

I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.

Alan Kay (Attributed)

VB.NET and Java Freenode's #perl

Wilderness Cat: Extra Peculiar

Extra Peculiar

Did you watch Uri Geller's show last night? He said that if anything extraordinary happened at home during the show, people should phone in, or report it at his website. During the entire show I was installing Hebrew Windows XP for my mother-in-law, and something extraordinary did happen. The operating system got installed, came up, ran without a glitch. Should I report this to Uri?

khatul's comment:

Without a glitch, huh? Apparently you (and Uri) managed to install Linux from a Windows XP installation CD. This is much more than telekinesis. It smells like pure alien intervention. Report immediately!

Linus Torvalds: Rare "Perfect" Kernels

It's one of those rare "perfect" kernels. So if it doesn't happen to compile with your config (or it does compile, but then does unspeakable acts of perversion with your pet dachshund), you can rest easy knowing that it's all your own d*mn fault, and you should just fix your evil ways.

You could send me and the kernel mailing list a note about it anyway, of course. (And perhaps pictures, if your dachshund is involved. Not that we'd be interested, of course. No. Just so that we'd know to avoid it next time).

Linus Torvalds announcing the 2.6.19 Linux kernel.
http://lwn.net/Articles/211904/

"Not comparable" on Freenode's #perl

Jokes about Particle Physics on Freenode's #perl

Tel Aviv - a functional definition

Tel Aviv - a functional definition:

Free parking space free space.

Shachar Shemesh
http://blog.shemesh.biz/?p=435

Always find someone to blame on Freenode's #perl.

Linus Torvalds: Releasing Kernel 2.6.20 on Superbowl Sunday

In a widely anticipated move, Linux "headcase" Torvalds today announced the immediate availability of the most advanced Linux kernel to date, version 2.6.20.

Before downloading the actual new kernel, most avid kernel hackers have been involved in a 2-hour pre-kernel-compilation count-down, with some even spending the preceding week doing typing exercises and reciting PI to a thousand decimal places.

The half-time entertainment is provided by randomly inserted trivial syntax errors that nerds are expected to fix at home before completing the compile, but most people actually seem to mostly enjoy watching the compile warnings, sponsored by Anheuser-Busch, scroll past.

As ICD head analyst Walter Dickweed put it: "Releasing a new kernel on Superbowl Sunday means that the important 'pasty white nerd' constituency finally has something to do while the rest of the country sits comatose in front of their 65" plasma screens".

Walter was immediately attacked for his racist and insensitive remarks by Geeks without Borders representative Marilyn vos Savant, who pointed out that not all of their members are either pasty nor white. "Some of them even shower!" she added, claiming that the constant stereotyping hurts nerds' standing in society.

Geeks outside the US were just confused about the whole issue, and were heard wondering what the big hoopla was all about. Some of the more culturally aware of them were heard snickering about balls that weren't even round.

-- Linus Torvalds announcing kernel 2.6.20 ( http://lwn.net/Articles/220544/ )

Sesquipedallianism

Sesquipedallianism:

Making excessive use of long words.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sesquipedallian

TimToady's Lament

Slashdot: The Spanish Inquisition

You fool. Why did you tell him the Spanish Inquisition is coming. Now he's going to expect it.

niconorsk on a Slashdot Comment
http://politics.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=224312&cid=18164404

Cluster of 386s

From the Beowulf Cluster FAQ:

11. Should I build a cluster of these 100 386s? [1999-05-13]

If it's OK with you that it'll be slower than a single Celeron-333 machine, sure. Great way to learn.

Are you being installed in FreeNode's #perl

Losing my Abstraction

That's me in the corner.
That's me in the spotlight.
Losing my abstraction.

Trying to keep my point of view...
And I don't know if I can do it.
Oh no, I code too much.
Haven't debugged enough.

Is that why I heard you laughing?
I thought that I heard you ping.
I think I thought I saw you reply.

Memorial Day Weekend and SQL Databases

Slashdot Comment on Reasons to or not to use MySQL:

A nice flame war. I'm just going to sit back, crack a beer and enjoy it. It is almost memorial day weekend, you know. Hopefully it get hot enough in here to roast a hot dog.

Oh goody! I'll help get things going:

• * MySQL users will have to wait until you are done with the fire before they can roast their hot dogs, since MySQL is not a real database and does not support concurrent roasting;
• * I've read the PostgreSQL manual eight times and still can't figure out something as bloody simple as roasting a hot dog, though I did figure out I have to call VACUUM before I can apply ketchup;
• * Serious enterprises who care about their hot dogs use Oracle, since you can roast over 10,000 dogs at once and optionally impart the taste of filet mignon;
• * If you try to roast a footlong hotdog using MySQL it will silently truncate it to regular size, causing your child to cry;
• * Oracle will sue you if you complain about the difficulty of starting your fire or the blackened taste of the dogs;
• * With SQLite your hot dogs are pre-roasted;
• * Last year on Memorial Day, mysqld leapt out of my MacBook Pro and pushed my cousin into the fire, resulting in third degree burns. And also it causes cancer. And terrorism. Blindness. Violent puppy death. BOO! MYSQL IS SCARY DON'T USE MYSQL!!

http://developers.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=236249&cid=19275875

DailyWTF: Calculator 2.0

Max Rabkin's description for his entry is better than anything I could come up with:

"Calculator 2.0 is an enterprise-level client-side numerical productivity suite. It leverages proven technologies to provide a clear and user-friendly interface to a rich set of efficient and powerful components. It is powered by an XML database."

http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/OMGWTF-Highlights-2-Misc.aspx

Slashdot: Dual Core and Microsoft

I think this is the idea behind dual core: 1 core belongs to microsoft, 1 core for you.

-- sucati on http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=244291&cid=19718695

No. All your core are belong to us.

-- geobeck on http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=244291&cid=19722737

"Eye have a Spelling Chequer"

Eye have a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write.
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
and eye can put the error rite.
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

Slashdot: Linus and Bill Gates

Oh no, here we go again..

x"Linus just made the kernel; it's irritating when he gets credit for Linux"

"Yeah, but at least he made the Kernel -- Gates just made the Basic compiler"

"That's news to me - have you ever heard of this guy called Paul Allen?"

"Doesn't matter - personally I think the Linux kernel isn't all that - I use BSD"

"Screw Linus -- he was wrong about Bitkeeper and Tivo so he's wrong about MS & Novell"

"Yeah, well at least he's not a convicted monopolist"

"Yeah, until M$ stops treating me like a criminal I refuse to buy their software"

Also insert random quotes and mis-quotes such as: "When Microsoft writes an application for Linux, I've Won." - Linus Torvalds "640kb ought to be enough for everybody" - Bill Gates

That about cover it? Can we have a non-childish discussion now? If there's any other slime to be thrown, just reply to this post -- let's keep the forum clean for an actual discussion.

http://linux.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=267393&cid=20200075

Free Karma on Freenode's #perl6.

Getting rich easily on Freenode's #perl.

Neo-Tech: All the Destruction for What?

Poetical sing-song or hypnotically rhythmic meter are often found in the rhetoric of dictators, evangelists, sibyls, politicians, theologians, mountebanks, social "intellectuals", media men, medicine men, hallucinating psychotics, chanting shiites, and screaming terrorists. Consider how millions of normally rational Germans thrilled and responded to the poetical cadence and charisma of the consummate altruist neocheater, Adolph Hitler. The results: a reign of destruction with tens of millions of human beings slaughtered so one impotent man could indulge his mysticism to feel unearned power. All that slaughter was for nothing more than to let one neocheater feel a pseudo self-esteem. ...Twenty million dead so one pip-squeak could feel big and important.

"So what!" cry the mystics as the lifetime efforts of a thousand productive, innocent individuals are blown to bits every day without a backward glance. So what if the troops roll across the country with military cadence and guns ablaze. So what if they level town after town, reducing to rubble and corpses all the values, beauty, and life that took generations of productive effort to build.

And that is all the chanting religious automatons or splendid Panzer divisions know how to do -- to destroy in a moment, without a thought, all the values that producers labored for lifetimes to build. Chanting mobs or marching troops never glance back, never think for a moment of the death and destruction they leave behind. So what! the mystics and neocheaters cry. So what if genocide happens in Russia, Nazi Germany, Cuba, Cambodia, Red China, or in our land. "I don't want to hear it! To hell with the lifetime efforts of productive individuals! ...Save the snail darter!"

Neo-Tech Advantage No. 104

Fonts and Microsoft

> > > Ah, understood.  I was stuck with Outlook at my last job, and it was
> > > impossible to get it to quote a message in a way that you could
> > > actually reply to things point by point.  It seemed optimized for
> > > sending a message to every person in the company and making all of
> > > your text blue.  What a fucking joke.
> >
> > If it's a joke you should use Comic Sans so everyone /knows/ it's
> > funny.
>
> No no, Comic Sans is for presentations to the shareholders!

Somebody who is presenting to shareholders knows how to change the
default font?

Weird...

    Jonathan Rockway, Andy Armstrong, Jonathan Rockway, and Adrian Howard
    http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.module-authors/2007/10/msg5907.html

Slashdot: 1 out of 10 Lawyers

Geez...get any 10 lawyers together, one will be a real decent person, the other nine will be total asshats.

http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=332831&cid=21033847

It just appears that way because it's logarithmic. 100 lawyers will net you 2 good ones, 1000 lawyers 3 good ones and so forth.

http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=332831&cid=21035649

What would Jesus do?

What *would* Jesus do?

Oh my god.

http://xrl.us/7j6w

"They felt Jesus would not have approved of copyright breaches."

Jesus, you da man! Stick it to those kids!

You might be interested to note that the students had studied "Exodus 20:15 - you shall not steal" which comes a little way before Jesus anyway. Wasn't the whole point of Jesus coming to make the "new commandment" that people "love one another as I have loved you" and to annul the previous commandments that were given to Moses? I was raised Christian and was Christian for a long time but now am not, but I can't quite remember the specifics of this point.

Anyway, the point is that Jesus probably would have told them to stick Exodus to the man and just get on with the lovin'. Or something.

liedra in http://liedra.livejournal.com/21176.html

Geeky "Your Momma's So Fat" Jokes

use.perl.org - Managed C++

Michael Frame:

«Managed C++... there’s a pile of hate. Let’s take all the complexity and bad design in C++, and throw away the speed and efficiency by compiling it to .NET interpreted pseudocode instead. Microsoft has such great ideas when it comes to languages.»

To which in reply, Yossi Kreinin:

«What’s there not to like with C++/CLI? You can have macros expanding to templates from which generics are generated, and then have classes generated from the generics. And these classes can have a close function and two destructors, and hold references to unmanaged pointers to managed pointers! With C++, you only have duplicate features, but with C++/CLI, you can finally have triplicate ones! You see, this is a language for an expert. Experts love having 3 different ways to do things, each broken in its own way.»

Slashdot: Windows Desktop Search

I think you'll find that the [Windows] Desktop Search is completely inseparable from the desktop and that the latter would be rendered completely useless if it is uninstalled. Just like IE is.

speaker of the truth in http://it.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=339585&threshold=0&commentsort=0&mode=thread&cid=21112043

A mouse is a device

A mouse is a device used to point at the xterm you want to type in.

alt.sysadmin.recovery

Writing a Mailing List Manager from Scratch

Apart from the fact that I congratulate you for writing bugless software without peer review, I also congratulate you for being able to write a fully RFC compliant MLM that won't blow up when you receive input you didn't account for.

Quite frankly, even a crappy sysadmin can get a reasonable mailman setup working (including nice archiving), quicker than the best coder can rewrite a full MLM from scratch. And you still have time left over to modify/fix/improve mailman to do the few things it didn't do quite right for you.

But if your attitude to coding is "I'd rather rewrite all this than soiling my eyes and hands looking at someone else's code", that's not a very good way to get hired anywhere as a coder, and even if you are super brilliant, you end up being a DJB that people snicker at with "that guy thinks he's so bright that he had to write his own libc" (instead of fixing/wrapping the few problematic pieces of them, and in the case of reasonable maintainers, contributing the code back).

"Not doing it for money"

We're not doing it for money...We're doing it for a shitload of money!

Excerpt from Spaceballs

"%s on %s" on Freenode's #perl