Favourite Quotes


These are amusing or insightful fortunes I (= Shlomi Fish) collected from various sources. Most of them don’t appear elsewhere.

Table of Contents

The Fortunes Themselves

What is is


What is is. Perceive It. Integrate it. Act on it. Idealize it.

AuthorLeonard Peikoff

I/O, I/O…


I/O, I/O,
It's off to disk I go,
a bit or byte to read or write,
I/O, I/O, I/O, I/O

AuthorDave Peacock
WorkHis signature

Roses are red, Violets are Blue ("Fresh Prince of Bel-Air")


Will: "Roses are red,
Violets are Blue.
Jazz and I are black,
But, Carlton, what are you?"

Excerpt from "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air"

AuthorAndy Borowitz (Creator)
Work"The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air"

"Wives live longer than husbands…"


And the top story for today: wives live longer than husbands because they are not married to women.

AuthorColin Mochrie
Work"Who's Line is it, Anyway?"

Let others praise ancient times


Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these.

AuthorOvid (43 BC - 18 AD)

"Bring it On": Cheerleader Song


I'm sexy, I'm cute, I'm popular to boot.
I'm bitchin', great hair, the boys all love to stare!
I'm wanted, I'm hot, I'm everything you're not.
I'm pretty, I'm cool, I dominate this school.
Who am I? Just guess. Guys wanna touch my chest.
I'm rockin', I smile and many think I'm vile.
I'm flying, I jump you can look but don't you hump. Whoo!
I major, I roar. I swear I'm not a whore.
We cheer and we lead - we act like we're on speed.
You hate us cause we're beautiful but we don't like you either.
We're cheerleaders. We are cheerleaders!

Excerpt from "Bring it On"

WorkBring it On (The Original)

"Suppose x is the speed…"


An algebra teacher is discussing a problem with a student. The teacher says: "Now, suppose x is the speed at which the train is travelling…". And the student says "But teacher, what if x is not the speed at which the train is travelling?

WorkRe: "A Parody on Aristotle's Organum"

The Shibber Factor


Keep all the grades of the students who passed the test as is, and convert the grades of all the students who failed to 54%.

AuthorShlomi Fish
WorkBased on a Technion Legend

God is Dead


“God is Dead”

— Nietzsche

“Nietzsche is Dead”

— God

( writing on a toilet's wall )

AuthorAnonymous toilet's wall writers
WorkWriting on a toilet's wall.

A serious Philosophical Work


A serious and good philosophical work could be written that would consist entirely of jokes.

-- Ludwig Wittgenstein

AuthorLudwig Wittgenstein

The difference between a bad student and a good student


The difference between a bad student and a good student is that a bad student forgets all the material five minutes before the exam, while a good student five minutes after it.

AuthorOne of Shlomi Fish's Lecturers
WorkTechnion Class

Histeria! - "did the Fall Hurt You?"


[Isaac Newton falls off the tree]

Cho-Cho: Did the fall hurt you?

Newton: It wasn't the fall; it was the sudden stop at the end.

AuthorTom Ruegger

Knuth: Beware of Bugs


Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it.

AuthorDonald Knuth
WorkMemo to Peter van Emde Boas

Stallmanism vs. Stalinism


It's not because they have suddenly converted to Stallmanism.

Anyone else misread that as "Stalinism"?

The word "Stalinism" is deprecated, the correct term is "GNU/Communism".

-- Spotted on Slashdot

WorkSlashdot Comment: “Re: Misread”

Slashdot: Creative Shells


Personally, I'd have a far better time writing scripts if I had some more creative shells to script in…

ASMsh: The Assembly shell. Commands include MOV, SHL, SHR, JNE, etc.

shellTM: Turing machine shell. Only four commands. Read, write, move left, move right. Capable of producing any programming language imaginable, given enough time and nerves of steel.

GeneSH: Four commands. G, A, T, C. Need I say more?

Qsh: Only uses one environment variable, which contains all possible values simultaneously. Method of scripting: isolate the universe in which the desired result is already accomplished, and intersect with it.

Of course, I never said they'd be easy to use. But then, if these shells existed, and I knew a sysadmin who used any of them, you can believe Sysadmin Day would be a far more celebrated holiday.

The Night Watchman on a Slashdot Comment

AuthorThe Night Watchman
WorkSlashdot comment.

Mission from God


We're on a mission from God.

-- The Blues Brothers

AuthorDan Aykroyd and John Landis
Work"The Blues Brothers"

Sitting Here Doing Nothing


It may look like I'm just sitting here doing nothing, but I'm really actively waiting for all my problems to go away.


"The ones of you that have heard it before"


I'm going to do a routine now, the ones of you that have heard it before may enjoy hearing it again. The ones of you that have not heard it before - may enjoy hearing it again next time.

AuthorVictor Borge
WorkPhonetic Punctuation

Larry Wall: "I'm an Optimist"


I guess I really am an optimist. A paranoid optimist, true, but an optimist nonetheless.

Larry Wall, "The 3rd State of the Onion"

AuthorLarry Wall
Work3rd State of the Onion

"Linus Torvalds's Greatest Hack"


In fact, I think Linus's [= Linus Torvalds'] cleverest and most consequential hack was not the construction of the Linux kernel itself, but rather his invention of the Linux development model. When I expressed this opinion in his presence once, he smiled and quietly repeated something he has often said: "I'm basically a very lazy person who likes to get credit for things other people actually do." Lazy like a fox. Or, as Robert Heinlein famously wrote of one of his characters, too lazy to fail.

Eric Raymond, the "Cathedral and the Bazaar"

AuthorEric Raymond
WorkThe Cathedral and the Bazaar

"Democracy is two wolves and a lamb…"


Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote.

Misattributed to Benjamin Franklin

AuthorNot clear
WorkQuotes about Democracy

On Tech Progress


Shlomi Fish: And to think that home desktops can simulate these systems [= PDP-10's and PDP-11's] much faster than those ancient mainframes.

William Lee Irwin III: Shlomi, and to think the net usefulness of the home desktops is less than what users got out of those mainframes.

#offtopic on the oftc.net IRC network.

AuthorWilliam Lee Irwin III

"I feel much better…"


I feel much better, now that I've given up hope.

Ashleigh Brilliant

AuthorAshleigh Brilliant
Work"I Feel Much Better, Now That I've Given Up Hope


I have abandoned my search for truth, and am now looking for a good fantasy.

Ashleigh Brilliant

AuthorAshleigh Brilliant
Work"I Have Abandoned My Search for Truth and Am Now Looking for a Good Fantasy"

"I may not be totally perfect…"


I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent.

Ashleigh Brilliant

AuthorAshleigh Brilliant
WorkI May Not Be Totally Perfect, but Parts of Me Are Excellent

Dijkstra on Whether a Computer can Think


The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.

Edsger W. Dijkstra

AuthorEdsger W. Dijkstra
WorkEWD898 - The threats to computing science

Intelligent Life


Sometimes I think the surest sign, that intelligent life exists else where in our universe is, is that none of it has tried to contact us.


AuthorBill Watterson
WorkCalvin & Hobbes quotes

The more I think about it


The more I think about it, the more I think I should think about it some more.

Clarissa in "Clarissa Explains it All"

WorkClarissa Explains it All

Rusty Russell's Signature


Rusty Russell's signature:

Anyone who quotes me in their sig is an idiot.
-- Rusty Russell

AuthorRusty Russell
WorkRusty Russell's Signature

The First Law of Thermodynamics


The First Law of Thermodynamics: A system with a constant energy, volume and pressure behaves in any way it wants.


Linus Torvalds about His Macros


I wrote them (and looking at the original ones, I'm a bit ashamed: the "toupper()" and "tolower()" macros are so horribly ugly that I wouldn't admit to writing them if it wasn't because somebody else claimed to have done so.)

Linus Torvalds on the Linux Kernel Mailing List in response to SCO's Linux Kernel ownership claims.

AuthorLinus Torvalds
WorkPost to the Linux Kernel Mailing List

Everything is Owned by SCO


Baby making is owned by SCO. Linus's mother never payed royalities.

Also, having a name is a SCO trade secret. By giving Linus a name, they again ask for being fined.

Best regards,


(p.s.: Iztok is owned by SCO, and phrase "Best Regards" as well. LWN is owned by SCO.)

An LWN comment in regards to the SCO ownership claims of Linux Kernel code.

WorkLinus is "owned by SCO"

The source of my intention


The source of my intention
really isn't crime prevention
My intention is prevention of the lie.

Scatman John
"Scatman's World"

AuthorScatman John
WorkScatman's World

ESR: "To follow the Path"


To follow the path:
look to the master,
follow the master,
walk with the master,
see through the master,
become the master.

Eric S. Raymond in "How To Become a Hacker"

AuthorEric Raymond
WorkHow to Become a Hacker

"GIMP Should Manipulate SVGs" on #gimp


strestout1Can GIMP save to svg?
rindolfstrestout1: SVG is a vector graphics format.
rindolfstrestout1: GIMP manipulates bitmaps.
strestout1Yes rindolf, I know.
strestout1I just thought itd be nice to have one app for everything instead of having to use inkscape for svg and gimp for everything else.
UnNamedIt could do 3d too.
schumamlAnd Audio processing…
UnNamedAnd Audio mixing…
UnNamedAnd word processing…
schumamlAnd it gotta have a kitchen sink!
schumamlSo, the real question might be: is there an image editing mode for Emacs? ;)
Tagline"GIMP Should Manipulate SVGs"

Hanah Senesh: Walk to Caesarea


My God, My God,
May it never, never end.
The sand and the sea,
the jitter of the water,
the shine of the sky,
the prayer of Man.

"A Walk to Caesarea" / Hanah Senesh
( Translated from Hebrew by Shlomi Fish )

AuthorHanah Senesh
WorkWalk to Caesarea

"I am not without artifice where magic is concerned…"


'You must know that I am not without artifice where magic is concerned,' said Weasel. 'Only last year did I - assisted by my friend there - part the notoriously powerful Archmage of Ymitury from his staff, his belt of moon jewels, and his life, in that approximate order.'

AuthorTerry Pratchett
WorkThe Colour of Magic

Linus Torvalds about the SHA1 Security


If we want to have any kind of confidence that the hash is really unbreakable, we should make it not just longer than 160 bits, we should make sure that it's two or more hashes, and that they are based on totally different principles.

And we should all digitally sign every single object too, and we should use 4096-bit PGP keys and unguessable passphrases that are at least 20 words in length. And we should then build a bunker 5 miles underground, encased in lead, so that somebody cannot flip a few bits with a ray-gun, and make us believe that the sha1's match when they don't. Oh, and we need to all wear aluminum propeller beanies to make sure that they don't use that ray-gun to make us do the modification _ourselves_.

AuthorLinus Torvalds
WorkMessage to the git mailing list

Neo-Tech: About Capitalism


The dictionary definition of capitalism is: An economic system characterized by private ownership of capital goods and by investments that are determined by private decision rather than by state control. Prices, production and distribution of goods are determined by a free market.

But most writers and commentators put dishonest altruistic-platonistic connotations on the meaning of capitalism: A system of exploitation of the weak by the strong -- devoid of love and good will. A system in which unwanted goods and services are pushed onto consumers through clever, deceptive advertising for the sole purpose of profits and greed. Capitalism dominates most Western governments. Capitalism, big business, and fascism are synonymous.

Neo-Tech IV / The Neo-Tech Discovery.

AuthorFrank R. Wallace
WorkNeo Tech IV

"People who disagree with me…"


Which mindset is right? Mine, of course. People who disagree with me are by definition crazy. (Until I change my mind, when they can suddenly become upstanding citizens. I'm flexible, and not black-and-white.)

AuthorLinus Torvalds
WorkLinus compares Linux and BSDs

One bug, two bugs, tar bugs, su bugs,


One bug, two bugs, tar bugs, su bugs,
grep bugs, mew bugs, old bugs, new bugs.
This bug has a little hack,
This bug has a broken stack.
Say! What a lot of bugs to track.
Yes, some are in tar, and some in su.
Some are old. And some are new.
Some in sed, and some in jed.
And some are even in parted.
Why are they in parted, jed and sed?
I do not know. Bugs should be dead!
Some in jpeg, and some in TIFF
This TIFF one has an attached diff.
From there to here, from here to there
Test release bugs are everywhere.

AuthorRed Hat Inc. Fedora Workers
WorkFedora Core 2 Test 2 available for x86 and x86-64

Charlene: The Sweet Life


"I took the sweet life
but I never knew
I'd be bitter from the sweet"

WorkI've Never Been to Me

Neo-Tech: Fully Integrated Honesty


Yet, acting on fully integrated honesty (Neo-Tech), not reason itself, is the basic moral act. When Genghis Khan, for example, chose to use reasoning for a specific military move, then in an out-of-context sense, he chose to act morally by protecting himself and his troops (thus filling human biological needs). But in the larger sense of fully integrated honesty, Khan's total actions were grossly immoral in choosing to use aggressive force in becoming a mass murderer (thus negating human biological needs). The highly destructive, irrational immorality of Genghis Khan's overall dictatorial military actions far outweighed any narrow, out-of-context "moral" actions. …Genghis Khan was enormously evil as were Stalin, Hitler, Mao, Castro, Pol Pot.

Neo-Tech Orientation and Definitions

AuthorFrank R. Wallace
WorkNeo Tech Orientation and Definitions

chromatic: "Ruby Code Can't Be Bad"


Why are there so many unmaintainable applications written in PHP and Perl? Because PHP and Perl let undisciplined, inexperienced programmers write useful code. So does Ruby -- but give it the popularity and longevity of PHP and Perl (at least in English-speaking circles) and I bet you'll see plenty of bad code written in Ruby too.

This seems like a variant of the Hackers and Painters fallacy. (Paul Graham is rich. Paul Graham writes Lisp. Therefore everyone who writes Lisp will get rich.) "All of the good, smart programmers I know are using Ruby. They write good code. Therefore you can't write bad code in Ruby!"

It feels like there's another fallacy in there somewhere. I want to call it the Pre-Post-Java Blindspot, where Java was the beginning of Serious Programming Languages and only its successor will unseat it. (Like any good fallacy, you have to ignore history, such as the fact that Ruby's between 10 and 12 years old.)

(I mean, if you really just can't read regular expressions, why not admit it? You could start a twelve-step program or something.)

WorkBlog Post for 17-Novemeber-2005

I Upgraded the Plot Device's…


I have upgraded the plot device's hard-drive, soft-drive and squishy drive,and it is now being the world's most powerful super-computer!

The Angry Scientist in "Sheep in the Big City"

AuthorMo Willems
WorkSheep in the Big City

Affairs of Dragons


Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

Source unknown.

AuthorUnknown Author
WorkInternet Meme

Bjarne Stroustrup about Java


Much of the relative simplicity of Java is - like for most new languages - partly an illusion and partly a function of its incompleteness. As time passes, Java will grow significantly in size and complexity. It will double or triple in size and grow implementation-dependent extensions or libraries. That is the way every commercially successful language has developed. Just look at any language you consider successful on a large scale. I know of no exceptions, and there are good reasons for this phenomenon. [I wrote this before 2000; now see a preview of Java 1.5 - http://xrl.us/kb3a ]

AuthorBjarne Stroustrup
WorkF.A.Q. Entry about Java

Oscar Wilde on Redundancy (from the Uncyclopedia)


"I simply hate, detest, loathe, despise, and abhor redundancy."

An Oscar Wilde quote, that quotes Oscar Wilde on his views on Redundancy in a quote.

WorkUncyclopedia entry about Redundancy

Vital Enterprise Applications Are (DailyWTF)


In yesterday's post (Bitten by the Enterprise Bug), we learned how vital enterprise application are for proactive organizations leveraging collective synergy to think outside the box and formulate their key objectives into a win-win game plan with a quality-driven approach that focuses on empowering key players to drive-up their core competencies and increase expectations with an all-around initiative to drive up the bottom-line.


AuthorThe Daily WTF
WorkThe Daily WTF - Enterprise SQL

Beatles: "Come Together"


He says "One and one and one is three".
Got to be good-looking 'cause he's so hard to see.

Excerpt from "Come Together" by the Beatles.

AuthorThe Beatles
WorkCome Together

The Smithosnian (from Ozy and Millie)


Isolde: Any museum has a certain Americana factor. But the Smithosnian… This is the one place you can find the very essence of America, distilled.

Millie: Ooh.. do they let you drink it, and then take on mutant American superpowers, and then go around unilaterlly dispensing frontier-style justice in the name of "Freedom"?

Isolde: No, not usually.

Millie: Museums would be a lot more fun if they'd actually *read* what I put in their suggestion boxes.

AuthorD.C. Simpson
WorkOzy and Millie - "The Essence of America"

Slashdot: Vim Version 7


Version 7? [of Vim]

GNU Emacs is at version 21.4. Can we really trust such an immature editor?

"yet another coward" in a Slashdot comment for the announcement of the release of Vim version 7. Slashdot comment

Authoryet another coward
WorkComment on the release of Vim version 7

Star Trek Plot on FreeNode's #bmp - The Beep Media Player channel.


deadchipComputer: Remove characters 'nenolod' and 'sxpert'.
deadchipComputer: Resume program.
sxpert"Program cannot run without characters 'nenolod' and 'sxpert'. restoring instances.
deadchipComputer: Command override, command code Lt. Cmdr. Milosz Derezynski omega-3-3-9-alpha zero. Remove instances 'nenolod' and 'sxpert'.
deadchip"Unable to comply."
deadchip"Computer: Is it possible to at least, _alter_ the subprograms nenolod and sxpert?"
deadchip"Specify parameters."
deadchiphmm i take that as a "yes"
deadchip"Computer: Please remove 'nonsense' component from 'sxpert' character."
sxpert"unable to comply. "
deadchipyou're truly un-nonsensifiable
sxpert"the intellectual subroutines are not alterable"
deadchip"Computer: Is it possible to alter the _look_ of the character 'sxpert'?"
deadchip"Computer: Please dress character 'sxpert' in a clown's costume."
deadchip"Specify paramters."
deadchip"Mid-20th-century Earth, Balkan area."
deadchip"Processing. Character alteration complete."
deadchipsxpert: bah
deadchipyeah i knew you would delete the whole databank first
geekoe"Computer, can we …. finally… simply remover the characters 'sxpert'?"
sxpert"computer, here's arlequin costume. apply to character deadchip"
sxpert"character parameters changed"
TaglineStar Trek-Like Plot

I'd love to change the world


I'd love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

— Unknown

AuthorUnknown Author

"What are stars?" on the Lion King


Pumbaa: Timon, ever wonder what those sparkly dots are up there?

Timon: Pumbaa, I don't wonder; I know.

Pumbaa: Oh. What are they?

Timon: They're fireflies. Fireflies that, uh… got stuck up on that big bluish-black thing.

Pumbaa: Oh, gee. I always thought they were gigantic balls of gas burning billions of miles away.

Timon: Pumbaa, with you, everything's gas.

AuthorWalt Disney Corp
Work"The Lion King"

Martin about UNIX Letting You Shoot Yourself in the Foot


>That's the nice thing about UNIX, it gives you so many >ways to shoot yourself in the foot. :)

At least it does allow you to shoot yourself in the foot.

It doesn't say "shooting feet isn't supported"

Or you can shoot yourself in the foot by writing a management console plugin that will pass the data to Word using VBA and then call Excel via com to split it into columns and then write an activeX control to get the columns back as

WorkComment in the JoS Forum

Dazjorz: "We are the Borg on IRC"


[21:10] *** dazjorz changed nick to We
[21:10] * We are the Borg.
[21:10] *** We changed nick to Lower
[21:10] * Lower your shields and power down your weapons.
[21:11] *** Lower changed nick to We
[21:11] * We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own.
[21:11] *** We changed nick to Resistance
[21:11] * Resistance is futile.
[21:11] *** Resistance changed nick to __You
[21:11] * __You will be assimilated.
[21:11] *** __You changed nick to dazjorz
AuthorSjors (Dazjorz)
WorkFreenode on IRC

God is my favourite…


"(God) is my favourite fictional character." - Homer Simpson

AuthorMatt Groening
WorkThe Simpsons

Learn several new words everyday


You should learn several new words everyday--eventually you will forget how to speak so others can understand you.

Yaakov on Freenode's #perl

WorkFreenode's #perl Conversation.



For thousands of years, we have been plagued by mathematicians insisting that two plus two equals four. Who elected them? I, Stevie-O, am promoting an entirely new system, where two plus two equals FIVE. Eventually, it will be extended to provide other stuff these power-hungry madmen kept hidden away for themselves, such as division by zero, cold fusion, the ability to solve the halting problem, and the secret to attracting hot chicks.

Stevie-O on the Acme::NewMath POD document.

WorkAcme::NewMath POD document

Should Perl drop SCO Support?


> Should Perl do the same? [= Drop SCO Support]

Absolutely not. Perl supports defunct operating systems, buggy operating systems, commercial operating systems, and poorly marketed operating systems. It would be inappropropriate to drop SCO just because it happens to be all of the above.

AuthorKurt Starsinic
Workadvocacy@perl.org Email

Climbing for the Apocalypse on #perlcafe


jkauffmanLynx_: you do seem to do a lot of climbing
jkauffmanLynx_: you'll have the last laugh when the apocalypse comes
jkauffmanyou'll be physically fit
jkauffmanclimbing over the mountains of sulfurous ash
jkauffmanbounding over rivers of lava
Lynx_sounds great
Lynx_but what will i eat?
jkauffmanthose who didn't bother to practice climbing
Lynx_those will be all fatty
Lynx_but maybe sulfurous ash is not so bad with some salt
TaglineClimbing for the Apocalypse

Slashdot: "In Soviet Russia…"


In Soviet Russia, every time you kill a kitten, god masturbates

GyroTech on a Slashdot comment

WorkSlashdot Comment

"I Wrote This Much Code" on Freenode's #perlcafe


jagermandooky: A coworker used to like to say things like "I wrote this much code" while holding his hands a couple feet apart
jagermanOnce I asked him "At what font size?"
jagermanHe never said it any more
Tagline"I Wrote This Much Code"

Slashdot: Dealing with RMS's Vim Attitude


Recently, Richard Stallman gave a speech in which he illustrated an academic point about programming history by quoting a guy who described vi as 'an editor spread at sword-point and which is really hard to use'.

I think I speak for all moderate vi(m) users when I say -- DEATH and DAMNATION (in that order) to this Cardinal of the CTRL key! Needless to say my own local vim user group has dispatched assassins to kill Mr. Stallman, but this is hardly the end of the story. The fact is that a man has referred to another man who in turn expressed some often-voiced reservations about OUR EDITOR! On behalf of all editors of text everywhere, I implore EMACS users to return to the true path, lest you be burned at the stake and then go to hell, the Buffer From Which There Is No Unloading. We'll see how productive you are then, with your ctrl-meta-alt and your ELISP and your 'ring buffer', whatever THAT is.

Peace and love to all.
exit :exit

kahei on Slashdot

WorkSlashdot Comment

Linus: "debugging my own machines"


The thing is, I don't actually enjoy debugging my own machines. I _much_ prefer having other people debug _their_ machines, and fixing my machine in the process. So I didn't want just something that worked on the Mac Mini, I wanted something that works _universally_, so that hopefully people who are even crazier than me will waste _their_ time trying to get these machines working.

Linus Torvalds in an Email message

AuthorLinus Torvalds
WorkEmail Message

Slasdhot: Iran: "First they came for"


Re:Silly Iranians… ALWAYS!

First, they came for the newspapers, and I did nothing because the Farsi Side comic was just re-prints now.

Next, they came for the books, and I looked the other way because the Death to America Book of the Month Club was only recommending books to burn anyway.

Then, they came for the Satellite Dishes, and I said nothing because I still had a year left on my Infidelphia Cable contract.

Finally, they came for my Internet Service, and no one was left to hear my ululation!

patrixmyth on Slashdot

WorkSlashdot Comment

Linus Torvalds: "I Won't Always Change my Mind"


I don't guarantee that I always change my mind, but I _can_ guarantee that if most of the people I trust tell me I'm a dick-head, I'll at least give it a passing thought.

[ Chorus: "You're a dick-head, Linus" ]

Linus Torvalds in an E-mail message.

AuthorLinus Torvalds
WorkEmail Message

Review of the Oxford English Dictionary


Review of the Oxford English Dictionary on Amazon.com:

[One Star]

"an epic work that has trouble holding the interest"

By: a customer

I'm at the ABs, and I still can't get a grip on the plot. Characters enter, are introduced in exhausting detail -- and then disappear again! Very frustrating. The only time an old character shows up again is in another's history! A lot like _A Dance to the Music of Time_, I suppose.

Perhaps things will become clearer when we meet Oxford, English or Dictionary -- clearly three key figures. Some kind of menage a trois?

WorkAmazon.com: Oxford English Dictionary

Neo-Tech: Selfishness


Although the contents of her book, The Virtue of Selfishness, are precisely accurate and widely integrated, Ayn Rand committed an error by distorting the word "selfishness" in fashioning a dramatic statement. The word "selfishness" does have valuable, precise denotations of "an irrational, harmful disregard for others". Rand could have strengthened her work by selecting accurate wording such as rational self-growth. Instead, she unnecessarily bent and undermined the precise, valuable meaning of selfishness. …As with selflessness, selfishness is a form of immature, destructive, irrational behavior -- a form of stupid behavior.

Neo-Tech Advantage No. 14 - "Self-Growth vs. Selfless View"

AuthorFrank R. Wallace
WorkNeo-Tech Advantage No. 14 - "Self-Growth vs. Selfless View"

Alan Kay on C++


I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.

Alan Kay (Attributed)

AuthorAlan Kay

VB.NET and Java Freenode's #perl


ew73VB.NET is all of the fun of enforced privacy OO with all of the power of BASIC.
TaglineVB.NET and Java

Wilderness Cat: Extra Peculiar


Extra Peculiar

Did you watch Uri Geller's show last night? He said that if anything extraordinary happened at home during the show, people should phone in, or report it at his website. During the entire show I was installing Hebrew Windows XP for my mother-in-law, and something extraordinary did happen. The operating system got installed, came up, ran without a glitch. Should I report this to Uri?

khatul's comment:

Without a glitch, huh? Apparently you (and Uri) managed to install Linux from a Windows XP installation CD. This is much more than telekinesis. It smells like pure alien intervention. Report immediately!

Workwildernesscat : Extra Peculiar (Blog Entry)

Linus Torvalds: Rare "Perfect" Kernels


It's one of those rare "perfect" kernels. So if it doesn't happen to compile with your config (or it does compile, but then does unspeakable acts of perversion with your pet dachshund), you can rest easy knowing that it's all your own d*mn fault, and you should just fix your evil ways.

You could send me and the kernel mailing list a note about it anyway, of course. (And perhaps pictures, if your dachshund is involved. Not that we'd be interested, of course. No. Just so that we'd know to avoid it next time).

Linus Torvalds announcing the 2.6.19 Linux kernel.
Email message

AuthorLinus Torvalds
WorkEmail Message

"Not comparable" on Freenode's #perl


castoffmerlyn: is it true that array itteration is better performance wise than hash itteration?
* avarwould guess that array iter is faster than hash iter
merlynwhat is "hash iter"?
merlynwith "each()"?
castoffforeach key…
avaryeah, or keys
merlynI don't see those as comparable
merlynwhen you have a hash, and you need to iterate, you do.
merlynwhen you have an array, and you need to iterate, you do
merlynwhat is there to choose between?
castoffthe hash has no real value stored other than the key so i converted to arrays
avarmerlyn: you can compare the speed of the two operations
avarwell duh
merlynWhy would you compare the speed of unrelated events?
merlyn"let's time baking this bread compared to driving to seattle"
merlynit's pointless
idesmerlyn: heh, yes, but I think it would make a funny performance comparison article! :)
merlyn"always optimize for baking bread!"
* avareats merlyn
idesmerlyn: I was thinking more along the lines of "Performance comparison on Perl vs RoR vs Ice Fishing"
merlyn"I repeated baking bread 5000 times to get the average"
merlyn"It took me six years"
idesmerlyn: too bad there isn't a Benchmark module for my oven…
TaglineNot comparable

Jokes about Particle Physics on Freenode's #perl


TeratogenTwo atoms are walking down the street when one of them says "I think I've lost an electron." The second one says "are you sure?", to which the first one replies "Yes, I'm positive".
mpeg4codecSo officer Schroedinger pulls over this quantum particle and he says ``Do you know how fast you were going?''
mpeg4codecthe particle says, ``No, but I know exactly where I am.''
Teratogeneverybody has heard of Schroedinger's cat experiment
Teratogenbut very few people know that Schroedinger hated cats
Teratogenwith a passion
Teratogenand actually experimented on them
Teratogenhe even owned a set of cat-fur gloves
Teratogencats mysteriously disappeared around Schroedinger's laboratory
Teratogenand there was no Chinese restaurant close by to explain the disappearances
mpeg4codecSchroedinger's cat: wanted dead AND alive
TaglineJokes about Particle Physics

Tel Aviv - a functional definition


Tel Aviv - a functional definition:

Free parking space free space.

Shachar Shemesh
Blog Post

AuthorShachar Shemesh
Work"Tel Aviv - a Functional Definition" (Blog Post)

Always find someone to blame on Freenode's #perl.


BotjetecloSolaris: that's an irssi script. you can't run it outside irssi.
tecloSolarisbut it fails in irssi
Botjewhy does it fail?
merlynit fails because of its parents!
merlynI blame its parents
merlynIt fails because of society.
merlynit fails as a fundamental shortcoming of Perl
merlynit fails at succeeding
TeratogenI blame society!
merlynI blame Teratogen's society.
merlynI'll blame the blamer
TaglineAlways find someone to blame

Linus Torvalds: Releasing Kernel 2.6.20 on Superbowl Sunday


In a widely anticipated move, Linux "headcase" Torvalds today announced the immediate availability of the most advanced Linux kernel to date, version 2.6.20.

Before downloading the actual new kernel, most avid kernel hackers have been involved in a 2-hour pre-kernel-compilation count-down, with some even spending the preceding week doing typing exercises and reciting PI to a thousand decimal places.

The half-time entertainment is provided by randomly inserted trivial syntax errors that nerds are expected to fix at home before completing the compile, but most people actually seem to mostly enjoy watching the compile warnings, sponsored by Anheuser-Busch, scroll past.

As ICD head analyst Walter Dickweed put it: "Releasing a new kernel on Superbowl Sunday means that the important 'pasty white nerd' constituency finally has something to do while the rest of the country sits comatose in front of their 65" plasma screens".

Walter was immediately attacked for his racist and insensitive remarks by Geeks without Borders representative Marilyn vos Savant, who pointed out that not all of their members are either pasty nor white. "Some of them even shower!" she added, claiming that the constant stereotyping hurts nerds' standing in society.

Geeks outside the US were just confused about the whole issue, and were heard wondering what the big hoopla was all about. Some of the more culturally aware of them were heard snickering about balls that weren't even round.

-- Linus Torvalds announcing kernel 2.6.20 ( http://lwn.net/Articles/220544/ )

AuthorLinus Torvalds
WorkAnnouncement of Kernel 2.6.20




Making excessive use of long words.


WorkDefinition for Sesquipedallian

TimToady's Lament


TimToadyTimToady's Lament: The pain in reign falls mainly in the 'splain. --
TaglineTimToady's Lament

Slashdot: The Spanish Inquisition


You fool. Why did you tell him the Spanish Inquisition is coming. Now he's going to expect it.

niconorsk on a Slashdot Comment

WorkSlashdot Comment

Cluster of 386s


From the Beowulf Cluster FAQ:

11. Should I build a cluster of these 100 386s? [1999-05-13]

If it's OK with you that it'll be slower than a single Celeron-333 machine, sure. Great way to learn.

WorkBeowulf mailing list FAQ

Are you being installed in FreeNode's #perl


* f00li5hinstalls q-mail
* dazjorzinstalls f00li5h
* Zabainstalls dazjorz
jeegerqmail installs f00li5h
jeegerIn soviet russia …
jeegerSoftware installs YOU!
* dazjorzrm -rf zaba
* f00li5his in Soviet Australia
TaglineAre you being installed?

Losing my Abstraction


That's me in the corner.
That's me in the spotlight.
Losing my abstraction.

Trying to keep my point of view…
And I don't know if I can do it.
Oh no, I code too much.
Haven't debugged enough.

Is that why I heard you laughing?
I thought that I heard you ping.
I think I thought I saw you reply.

AuthorAndy Armstrong and Randal L. Schwartz
WorkPerl module-authors post

Memorial Day Weekend and SQL Databases


Slashdot Comment on Reasons to or not to use MySQL:

A nice flame war. I'm just going to sit back, crack a beer and enjoy it. It is almost memorial day weekend, you know. Hopefully it get hot enough in here to roast a hot dog.

Oh goody! I'll help get things going:

  • * MySQL users will have to wait until you are done with the fire before they can roast their hot dogs, since MySQL is not a real database and does not support concurrent roasting;
  • * I've read the PostgreSQL manual eight times and still can't figure out something as bloody simple as roasting a hot dog, though I did figure out I have to call VACUUM before I can apply ketchup;
  • * Serious enterprises who care about their hot dogs use Oracle, since you can roast over 10,000 dogs at once and optionally impart the taste of filet mignon;
  • * If you try to roast a footlong hotdog using MySQL it will silently truncate it to regular size, causing your child to cry;
  • * Oracle will sue you if you complain about the difficulty of starting your fire or the blackened taste of the dogs;
  • * With SQLite your hot dogs are pre-roasted;
  • * Last year on Memorial Day, mysqld leapt out of my MacBook Pro and pushed my cousin into the fire, resulting in third degree burns. And also it causes cancer. And terrorism. Blindness. Violent puppy death. BOO! MYSQL IS SCARY DON'T USE MYSQL!!


WorkSlashdot Comment

DailyWTF: Calculator 2.0


Max Rabkin's description for his entry is better than anything I could come up with:

"Calculator 2.0 is an enterprise-level client-side numerical productivity suite. It leverages proven technologies to provide a clear and user-friendly interface to a rich set of efficient and powerful components. It is powered by an XML database."

OMGWTF Highlights #2: Misc. (The Daily WTF)

WorkOMGWTF Highlights #2: Misc. (The Daily WTF)

Slashdot: Dual Core and Microsoft


I think this is the idea behind dual core: 1 core belongs to microsoft, 1 core for you.

-- sucati on a Slashdot comment

No. All your core are belong to us.

-- geobeck in response.

WorkSlashdot Comments

"Eye have a Spelling Chequer"


Eye have a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write.
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
and eye can put the error rite.
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

WorkSpell Chequer

Slashdot: Linus and Bill Gates


Oh no, here we go again..

"Linus just made the kernel; it's irritating when he gets credit for Linux"

"Yeah, but at least he made the Kernel -- Gates just made the Basic compiler"

"That's news to me - have you ever heard of this guy called Paul Allen?"

"Doesn't matter - personally I think the Linux kernel isn't all that - I use BSD"

"Screw Linus -- he was wrong about Bitkeeper and Tivo so he's wrong about MS & Novell"

"Yeah, well at least he's not a convicted monopolist"

"Yeah, until M$ stops treating me like a criminal I refuse to buy their software"

Also insert random quotes and mis-quotes such as: "When Microsoft writes an application for Linux, I've Won." - Linus Torvalds "640kb ought to be enough for everybody" - Bill Gates

That about cover it? Can we have a non-childish discussion now? If there's any other slime to be thrown, just reply to this post -- let's keep the forum clean for an actual discussion.

Slashdot comment

WorkSlashdot Comment

Free Karma on Freenode's #perl6.


masakthis definitely gives a more solid feel for kp6
masakkudos to whomever set exp_evalbot up!
moritz_masak: that was me ;)
masakmoritz_: kudos
fglockmoritz++ :)
masakmoritz_++ # the best thing about karma is that it's free
masakmoritz++ # oh right
moritz_"karma is like software - it's better when it's free" ;-)
TaglineFree Karma

Getting rich easily on Freenode's #perl.


talexbWow, I've won 4M pounds sterling, and all I have to do is contact someone in Zambia for more information. What could possibly go wrong?
rindolftalexb: heh.
jagermanWait, I thought *I* won that.
talexbrindolf, Can't believe people still fall for that line ..
fwilesdamn, wish I would win something… I just seem to be pre-approved for about $13 billion worth of home loans
talexbOops, sorry jagerman .. I'm already faxing this lady my Power of Attorney!!!
talexbfwiiles, Oh, that'll buy you a nice semi in Toronto.
jagermantalexb: Oh, I'm way ahead of you then. I'm flying there to meet with "government officials."
jagermanI'm paying for it myself, of course, since I'll be rich once they transfer the money to me.
talexbjagerman, Rats! Hey, I know a couple of lawyers if you need 'em .. very trustworthy, share some office space with some barbers.
TaglineGetting Rich Easily

Neo-Tech: All the Destruction for What?


Poetical sing-song or hypnotically rhythmic meter are often found in the rhetoric of dictators, evangelists, sibyls, politicians, theologians, mountebanks, social "intellectuals", media men, medicine men, hallucinating psychotics, chanting shiites, and screaming terrorists. Consider how millions of normally rational Germans thrilled and responded to the poetical cadence and charisma of the consummate altruist neocheater, Adolph Hitler. The results: a reign of destruction with tens of millions of human beings slaughtered so one impotent man could indulge his mysticism to feel unearned power. All that slaughter was for nothing more than to let one neocheater feel a pseudo self-esteem. …Twenty million dead so one pip-squeak could feel big and important.

"So what!" cry the mystics as the lifetime efforts of a thousand productive, innocent individuals are blown to bits every day without a backward glance. So what if the troops roll across the country with military cadence and guns ablaze. So what if they level town after town, reducing to rubble and corpses all the values, beauty, and life that took generations of productive effort to build.

And that is all the chanting religious automatons or splendid Panzer divisions know how to do -- to destroy in a moment, without a thought, all the values that producers labored for lifetimes to build. Chanting mobs or marching troops never glance back, never think for a moment of the death and destruction they leave behind. So what! the mystics and neocheaters cry. So what if genocide happens in Russia, Nazi Germany, Cuba, Cambodia, Red China, or in our land. "I don't want to hear it! To hell with the lifetime efforts of productive individuals! …Save the snail darter!"

Neo-Tech Advantage No. 104

AuthorFrank R. Wallace
WorkNeo-Tech Advantage No. 104

Fonts and Microsoft


> > > Ah, understood.  I was stuck with Outlook at my last job, and it was
> > > impossible to get it to quote a message in a way that you could
> > > actually reply to things point by point.  It seemed optimized for
> > > sending a message to every person in the company and making all of
> > > your text blue.  What a fucking joke.
> >
> > If it's a joke you should use Comic Sans so everyone /knows/ it's
> > funny.
> No no, Comic Sans is for presentations to the shareholders!

Somebody who is presenting to shareholders knows how to change the
default font?

AuthorJonathan Rockway, Andy Armstrong, Jonathan Rockway, and Adrian Howard
WorkPerl Module Authors Post

Slashdot: 1 out of 10 Lawyers


Geez…get any 10 lawyers together, one will be a real decent person, the other nine will be total asshats.

Slashdot Comment

It just appears that way because it's logarithmic. 100 lawyers will net you 2 good ones, 1000 lawyers 3 good ones and so forth.

Slashdot comment

WorkSlashdot Comment

What would Jesus do?


What *would* Jesus do?

Oh my god.


"They felt Jesus would not have approved of copyright breaches."

Jesus, you da man! Stick it to those kids!

You might be interested to note that the students had studied "Exodus 20:15 - you shall not steal" which comes a little way before Jesus anyway. Wasn't the whole point of Jesus coming to make the "new commandment" that people "love one another as I have loved you" and to annul the previous commandments that were given to Moses? I was raised Christian and was Christian for a long time but now am not, but I can't quite remember the specifics of this point.

Anyway, the point is that Jesus probably would have told them to stick Exodus to the man and just get on with the lovin'. Or something.

liedra in a blog post.

WorkBlog Post

Geeky "Your Momma's So Fat" Jokes


LeoNerddefc0n-: Make sure to use a nice tight knot, so your joined thread doesn't fall apart
Somnithread jokes, how droll
* LeoNerdgrins "I have a whole stack of them waiting here.."
defc0n-C jokes are worse, a la if (malloc(sizeof(yourmom_t)) == NULL) printf("error: mom too fat\n");
idiotbenjoke? hell thats good logic! =P Your
idiotbenYour momma so fat, the bitch needs PAE to fit in memory w/o using up swap
idiotbenyo momma so fat, your dad has to run RHEL4's "hugemem" kernel
idiotbenyour mom is sooooo fat! everyone she comes in contact with has a buffer overflow!
LeoNerd… she needs 64k cluster size?
LeoNerd(going for a combined fat/FAT joke there)
TaglineGeeky "Your Momma's So Fat" Jokes

use.perl.org - Managed C++


Michael Frame:

Managed C++… there’s a pile of hate. Let’s take all the complexity and bad design in C++, and throw away the speed and efficiency by compiling it to .NET interpreted pseudocode instead. Microsoft has such great ideas when it comes to languages.

To which in reply, Yossi Kreinin:

What’s there not to like with C++/CLI? You can have macros expanding to templates from which generics are generated, and then have classes generated from the generics. And these classes can have a close function and two destructors, and hold references to unmanaged pointers to managed pointers! With C++, you only have duplicate features, but with C++/CLI, you can finally have triplicate ones! You see, this is a language for an expert. Experts love having 3 different ways to do things, each broken in its own way.

Workuse.perl.org Blog Post


I think you'll find that the [Windows] Desktop Search is completely inseparable from the desktop and that the latter would be rendered completely useless if it is uninstalled. Just like IE is.

speaker of the truth in http://it.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=339585&threshold=0&commentsort=0&mode=thread&cid=21112043

Authorspeaker of the truth
WorkSlashdot Comment

A mouse is a device


A mouse is a device used to point at the xterm you want to type in.


Writing a Mailing List Manager from Scratch


Apart from the fact that I congratulate you for writing bugless software without peer review, I also congratulate you for being able to write a fully RFC compliant MLM that won't blow up when you receive input you didn't account for.

Quite frankly, even a crappy sysadmin can get a reasonable mailman setup working (including nice archiving), quicker than the best coder can rewrite a full MLM from scratch. And you still have time left over to modify/fix/improve mailman to do the few things it didn't do quite right for you.

But if your attitude to coding is "I'd rather rewrite all this than soiling my eyes and hands looking at someone else's code", that's not a very good way to get hired anywhere as a coder, and even if you are super brilliant, you end up being a DJB that people snicker at with "that guy thinks he's so bright that he had to write his own libc" (instead of fixing/wrapping the few problematic pieces of them, and in the case of reasonable maintainers, contributing the code back).

AuthorMarc Merlin
Worklinux-elitists blog post

"Not doing it for money"


We're not just doing it for money…We're doing it for a shitload of money!

Excerpt from Spaceballs

AuthorMel Brooks

"%s on %s" on Freenode's #perl


asarchIs there any web application framework for Perl? Something ala Ruby on Rails
integralasarch: Jifty and Catalyst and lots more!
archon-asarch: catalyst
integralfor example CGI::Application.
Yaakovasarch: Perl on Pontoons.
integralJifty is closer to Rails than Catalyst is
integralCatalyst is like Lego, Jifty is like that not-Lego stuff that sucks :-)
asarchThanks Yaakov
asarchLet me see…
integralWhy can't you just use Rails? Too slow? Too crap?
asarchlol :-D
YaakovRuby on Rails will always seem like Ruby on Crack to me, thanks to that promotional video…
integralHaskell on Highways
YaakovLogo on Logs
YaakovPHP on PCP
integralBCPL on Boats
integralThey should bring back BCPL
YaakovJCL on Jets
anno-cobol on cobbles
YaakovAlgol on Airplanes
YaakovSnobol on Snowmobiles
YaakovAda on Armored Transports
Tagline%s on %s

Slashdot: Response to "BBC Creates 'Perl on Rails'"


Slasdhot Response to "BBC Creates 'Perl on Rails'":

This is proof that there is a conspiracy to make up absurd programming shenanigans to sell overpriced door stoppers! Coming soon…

  • "Perl on Rails for Dummies"
  • "Perl on Rails for Idiots"
  • "Perl on Rails Bible"
  • "Perl on Rails in 24 Hours"
  • "Perl on Rails in a Nutshell"
  • "Perl on Rails: The Missing Manual"

…at a bookstore near you to burn a hole in your wallet!

WorkSlashdot Comment

"Worse is Better" (Larry Wall)


Among the generalists, the conventional wisdom is that the worse-is-better approach is more adaptive. Personally, I get a little tired of the argument: My worse-is-better is better than your worse-is-better because I'm better at being worser! Is it really true that the worse-is-better approach always wins? With Perl 6 we're trying to sneak one better-is-better cycle in there and hope to come out ahead before reverting to the tried and true worse-is-better approach. Whether that works, only time will tell.

Larry Wall in "State of the Onion 11"

AuthorLarry Wall
WorkState of the Onion 11

Too many Freenode #perl cooks.


ew73I have discovered another benefit to the unemployed status!
ew73I can cook whenever I want.
siliew73: cooking with… imagination?
ew73sili: I'm actually quite good at teh cookingz.
ew73no :(
siliI guess that explains why you're unemployed :p
ew73That was mean!
siliit's not like I stole your bike
ew73That also would be mean.
phroggygood cooking impresses the ladies a lot more than good programming.
utopia_depends on the lady
phroggy(any present female company excepted, of course)
jdv79phroggy: except when you don't have any money
ew73phroggy: But imagine, a good cook AND a good programmer.
siliI can cook some stuff.
phroggyjdv79: yeah, that nixes the deal. I have that problem too.
jdv79its a start
ew73"Here's my recipie for mushroom stir-fry. And HERE's the source for my nutritional database system."
jimew73: so when you load the data model, do you get the recipe free?
ew73jim: Geek.
* jimlooks around…
jimlike yer any different :)
TaglineToo many Freenode #perl cooks.

Security by perl-deprivation on Freenode's #perl.


→FilipeMendeshas joined #perl
FilipeMendesany way to avoid having users running perl? I need specify who can or who can not
dondelelcaroFilipeMendes: uh… why?
FilipeMendessecurity purposes
maukechmod 0 /usr/bin/perl
dondelelcaroquestion repeated, with more emphasis and incredulity
FilipeMendesi want specify some users
CaelumFilipeMendes: why would you not want users running perl?
FilipeMendeschmod wouldnt be useful
dkrFilipeMendes: chmod 750 /usr/bin/perl; chgrp leet /usr/bin/perl; and put the leet people in that group ?
dondelelcaroyou realize that any user who wants can just stick their own perl executable there?
go|dfishFilipeMendes: ACL , maybe.
dkralso your system scripts might rely on it
dondelelcaro(and probably all of the users actually end up using perl?)
dkrmodify the perl code to have it exit based on checking a uid whitelist. :)
dkrchange the name to something obscure only the cool people know
dkrrealize that removing tools does not remove abilities and give up
maukethe _ means it's private!
dkrmauke: :D
TaglineSecurity by perl-deprivation

"It was 20 years ago today…"


It was 20 years ago today
Larry Wall taught some text to play
It's been going in & out of style
But it's stuck around for quite a while()
So may I introduce to you
The tool you've loved for all these years
Larry's Practical Extract & Report Laaaanguage

It's Larry's Practical Extract Report Lang
5.10 still has some bugs to fix
Larry's Practical Extract Report Lang
Don't ask for a date for version 6…

on Perl's 20th Birthday

AuthorAndy Lester
WorkPerl's 20th Birthday

Linus Torvalds: The Purpose of Holidays


The regression list keeps shrinking, so we're still on track for a full 2.6.24 release in early January. Assuming we don't all overeat during the holidays and nobody gets any work done. But we all know that the holidays are really the time when we get away from the boring "real work", and can spend 24/7 on kernel hacking instead, right?

Here's to a merry christmas, doing the whole druidic festival around the tree thing.

Linus Torvalds announcing Linux Kernel prepatch 2.6.24-rc6

AuthorLinus Torvalds
WorkAnnouncing Linux Kernel prepatch 2.6.24-rc6

Counter-qouting Jamie Zawinski


Some people, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, I'll use regular expressions." Now they have two problems.

--Jamie Zawinski, in comp.lang.emacs

— OMouse in http://programming.reddit.com/info/1awnv/comments/c1axk7

Some people, when confronted with regular expressions, always think "I know, I'll paste that Jamie Zawinski quote, and people will think I'm clever!"

These people have a problem.

— dmd in http://programming.reddit.com/info/1awnv/comments/c1axqc

WorkReddit Comment

Boxing on Freenode's #perl


BinGOsmst: doh.
BinGOsmst++ # thinking outside the box.
dwumst++ # utterly destroying the box.

DJB on Command Interfaces


I have discovered that there are two types of command interfaces in the world of computing: good interfaces and user interfaces.

Daniel J. Bernstein (DJB) in http://cr.yp.to/qmail/guarantee.html

AuthorDaniel J. Bernstein (DJB)
Work"The qmail security guarantee"

Slashdot: Xeno's Paradox


Xeno's paradox is easily disproved in three steps:

  1. Get crossbow and bolt.
  2. Aim crossbow at Xeno.
  3. Fire.

If the bolt moves to Xeno, then it is proved that movement is possible. Also, Xeno will be dead. Win win situation.

WorkSlashdot Comment

Linus Torvalds: "The Patch Fell…"


I bow down before you.

I thought I had done some rather horrible things with gcc built-ins and macros, but I hereby hand over my crown to you.

As my daughter would say: that patch fell out of the ugly tree, and hit every branch on the way down. Very impressive.

AuthorLinus Torvalds

jerryleecooper on Windows


Are you saying that this linux can run on a computer without windows underneath it, at all ? As in, without a boot disk, without any drivers, and without any services ?

That sounds preposterous to me.

If it were true (and I doubt it), then companies would be selling computers without a windows. This clearly is not happening, so there must be some error in your calculations. I hope you realise that windows is more than just Office ? Its a whole system that runs the computer from start to finish, and that is a very difficult thing to acheive. A lot of people dont realise this.

Microsoft just spent $9 billion and many years to create Vista, so it does not sound reasonable that some new alternative could just snap into existence overnight like that. It would take billions of dollars and a massive effort to achieve. IBM tried, and spent a huge amount of money developing OS/2 but could never keep up with Windows. Apple tried to create their own system for years, but finally gave up recently and moved to Intel and Microsoft.

Its just not possible that a freeware like the Linux could be extended to the point where it runs the entire computer fron start to finish, without using some of the more critical parts of windows. Not possible.

I think you need to re-examine your assumptions.

WorkTalkback on ZDNet

Slashdot: Keep Modding up this Joke


I mean really, after the first 6143569056076952107294386875907695350 times maybe it was worthy of a chuckle, but to keep on modding up this joke suggests some form of psychosis.

Wait, I'll put this in a way that you mods can understand:

  1. go to slashdot
  2. find a story
  3. find a comment on that story
  4. post a tired, old, lame-ass joke for the 9 billionth time
  5. ???????

Ok, I followed the silly meme, where's my +5 Funny?

AuthorAnonymous Coward
WorkSlashdot Comment

Linux Genuine Advantage #1


Linux Genuine Advantage™ is an exciting and mandatory new way for you to place your computer under the remote control of an untrusted third party!

According to an independent study conducted by some scientists, many users of Linux are running non-Genuine versions of their operating system. This puts them at the disadvantage of having their computers work normally, without periodically phoning home unannounced to see if it's OK for their computer to continue functioning. These users are also missing out on the Advantage of paying ongoing licensing fees to ensure their computer keeps operating properly.

To remedy this, we have created a new program available as a required free download: Linux Genuine Advantage™!

Finally! Linux users can experience a feature that until now remained the exclusive domain of proprietary software.

Once you've installed Linux Genuine Advantage™, you'll want to register and send in your licensing fees to receive these important benefits:

  • Your computer, which worked just fine before, will continue functioning normally!
  • Our software which you just installed will not disable logins on your computer (as long as our license server keeps working properly)!
  • It's totally awesome! We might not raise the yearly licensing fees in the future!

Plus, if you act now, we promise not to launch unfounded lawsuits against you, slander you or our competitors in the press and the courts (possibly by using other smaller companies as pawns), or require you to pay us for software you won't use on every new computer you buy!

WorkLinux Genuine Advantage

Linux Genuine Advantage #2


Get the Linux Genuine Advantage!

Did you wake up this morning and say "I wish someone would figure out a way to let me do less with my computer"? You've come to the right place!

WorkLinux Genuine Advantage

Linux Genuine Advantage - News


08/25/2007 - The Windows Genuine Advantage servers went down worldwide, marking any Windows machines as pirated during Microsoft's server outage. Meanwhile, the Linux Genuine Advantage™ activation server was up the whole time. Truly another victory for Open Source software! Microsoft, contact us if you'd like to license Linux Genuine Advantage™, we'd love to enter into a lucrative licensing agreement. With the money you save, you could put the WGA programmers onto other tasks, like improving Vista!

02/03/2007 - The Linux Genuine Advantage™ crack is spreading! Someone uploaded it to The Pirate Bay! Looks like it's time to get more involved in Swedish politics from across the globe!

02/02/2007 - Linux Genuine Advantage™ has been cracked by computer hackers! Rather than improving our software, we'll be sending our team of intimidating lawyers to pay them a visit.

WorkLinux Genuine Advantage

Larry Wall: Manipulexity and Whipuptitude


If you were a Unix programmer you either programmed in C or shell. And there really wasn't much in between. There were these little languages that we used on top of shell, but that was the big divide. The big revelation that hatched Perl, as it were, was that this opened up into a two-dimensional space. And C was good at something I like to call manipulexity, that is the manipulation of complex things. While shell was good at something else which I call whipuptitude, the aptitude for whipping things up.

So Perl was hatched. As a small egg. That was Perl 1. And it was designed from the very beginning to evolve. The fact that we put sigils in front of the variables meant that the namespaces were protected from new keywords. And that was intentional, so we could evolve the language fairly rapidly without impacting.

And it evolved… And it evolved… And finally we got to Perl 5. And… So… Perhaps the Perl 6 slogan should be "All Your Paradigms Are Belong To Us". We'll get to that.

AuthorLarry Wall
WorkPresent Continuous, Future Perfect

Larry Wall's "My Own Irrationationalities"


So I'd like to start off with my own irrationalities.

I don't think syntax should dangle in the wind. I'm with Aristotle. I think things should have a beginning, a middle, and an end. Which means I like K&R bracketing. I do not like the way that Python hangs stuff out there, with no end.

I think that ordinary people dislike abstraction. That's because I dislike abstraction and I think I'm ordinary. (laughter) I might be wrong about that, but I don't know.

I simultaneously believe that languages are wonderful and awful. You have to hold both of those. Ugly things can be beautiful. And beautiful can get ugly very fast. You know, take Lisp. You know, it's the most beautiful language in the world. At least up until Haskell came along. (laughter) But, you know, every program in Lisp is just ugly. I don't figure how that works.

I think visual metaphors are very important. How it looks. Different things should look different. Similar things should look similar. A language designer simultaneously has to care what other people think, and has to not care what other people think. Otherwise you go crazy. Well, crazier. (laughter)

And finally, I think God has free will. And therefore he created programmers with free will and that they ought to be given choices.

AuthorLarry Wall
WorkPresent Continuous, Future Perfect

Larry Wall's "Irrationalities of Other Languages"


Now, I'm not the only language designer with irrationalities. You can think of some languages to go with some of these things.

  • "We've got to start over from scratch" - Well, that's almost any academic language you find.
  • "English phrases" - Well that's Cobol. You know, cargo cult English. (laughter)
  • "Text processing doesn't matter much" - Fortran.
  • "Simple languages produce simple solutions" - C.
  • "If I wanted it fast, I'd write it in C" - That's almost a direct quote from the original awk page.
  • "I thought of a way to do it so it must be right" - That's obviously PHP. (laughter and applause)
  • "You can build anything with NAND gates" - Any language designed by an electrical engineer. (laughter)
  • "This is a very high level language, who cares about bits?" - The entire scope of fourth generation languages fell into this… problem.
  • "Users care about elegance" - A lot of languages from Europe tend to fall into this. You know, Eiffel.
  • "The specification is good enough" - Ada.
  • "Abstraction equals usability" - Scheme. Things like that.
  • "The common kernel should be as small as possible" - Forth.
  • "Let's make this easy for the computer" - Lisp. (laughter)
  • "Most programs are designed top-down" - Pascal. (laughter)
  • "Everything is a vector" - APL.
  • "Everything is an object" - Smalltalk and its children. (whispered:) Ruby. (laughter)
  • "Everything is a hypothesis" - Prolog. (laughter)
  • "Everything is a function" - Haskell. (laughter)
  • "Programmers should never have been given free will" - Obviously, Python. (laughter)

So my psychological conjecture is that normal people, if they perceive that a computer language is forcing them to learn theory, they won't like it. In other words, hide the fancy stuff. It can be there, just hide it.

AuthorLarry Wall
WorkPresent Continuous, Future Perfect

Larry Wall - Taking a Trip


Back to dimensionality. When you are saying something linguistically, it's like taking a trip. You know, when you take a trip from California to Netanya, you don't go straight south and then straight west and then straight north. It's not orthogonal. There are little bits at the beginning. Then you take bigger hops on the planes and then you take littler hops at the end. Language works the same way, it's fractal. There is little orthogonality. At least apparently; you can have orthogonal views of it, there are orthogonal subsets. But there are multiple orthogonal subsets. At first glance it just looks like a network, and you have to navigate the geography.

AuthorLarry Wall
WorkPresent Continuous, Future Perfect

Larry Wall - "Anthropology"


Now in terms of the anthropology we try to welcome people into the tribe. We allow people to have their own little fiefdoms, where they are the ruler and can beat up on their followers.

We try to let people share with each other. We try to capture knowledge. Both of those things are why we have the CPAN, Comprehensive Perl Archive Network, which is arguably one of the greatest repositories of reusable crappy software in the world. (laughter).

And we have a culture of cooperating with other cultures too. We try to make Parrot so that other languages can ran on top of that. We've always tried to hook up Perl with everything. In kind of a humble sort of way. And finally it's culture of fun. At least we try to make it that way. And that's why I give weird talks.

AuthorLarry Wall
WorkPresent Continuous, Future Perfect

Linus Torvalds: Hardware for Servers


So, everybody has a different idea. Everybody also has different hardware. The desktop is also where all the hardware really exists. Servers have 1% of the hardware that the desktop has in terms of different drivers and things like that. You don’t find webcams on servers generally. You don’t find oddball IDE drives on servers.

AuthorLinus Torvalds
WorkInterview, Part II

Slashdot: High-Quality Microsoft Products


«had been responsible for the 'production and distribution of more than 90 percent of the high-quality counterfeit Microsoft software products.»

Why doesn't MSFT sell these "high-quality" products instead of the crap they've been selling us for years.

WorkSlashdot Comment

Timezone'd on Freenode's #perl


x86can someone tell me what this epoch translates to in %Y-%m-%d format? 1202256000
integraleval: POSIX::strftime("%Y-%m-%d", gmtime(1202256000))
buubotintegral: 2008-02-06
integralnote that if you're not specifying timezone you're in for a world of hate
integralerr, *pain
iankI will dump butter on you unless you specify tz.
iankAlso if you do specify tz.
iankFuck it, I will dump butter on you, fullstop.
integraldon't waste good butter on them, try margarine

CPAN is your Friend (or Enemy) on Frenode's #perl


x86DateTime::Format::Strptime is not one of the core modules
iankboo hoo cpan it
apeiron"i (can't|don't want to) use external modules"
iank(If only we had some sort of comprehensive archive network.. for perl stuff.. complete with a convenient tool you could use to easily fetch, build, and install modules!)
iankapeiron: "oh, but you're a dumbass"
iank"carry on then"
simcop2387-labiank! i know i'll call it Ruby on Rails!
integralwell, it'd be different if CPAN and CPANPLUS really were convenient.
x86POSIX::strptime is not a core module either
x86this sucks
apeironSend patches or shut up. :)
integralapt-get : cpan :: brilliant : annoying
iankthis : pretentious and awkward :: 1 : 1
x86iank: not so conveinent when you're writing software to be deployed on 100 servers and you dont want to have to install the same module 100 times
integralbundle it with your app.
iankx86: stop failing at sysadmining
iankOr that.
integralThey're also pure-perl so this is very, very trivial.
integralWe have PARs which are jsut like Java's JARs for even more deployability win
mstand people have this retarded obsession with only using core
mstI mean, anybody who does perl for a living grows out of it pretty fucking fast
mstbut there's always colossal whining the first time you tell someone to get something from CPAN
integralBut due to my last point, PAR isn't as well known as it should be
mstx86: thanks for being today's example :)
TaglineCPAN is your Friend (or Enemy)

As long as you don't resort to violence on Freenode's #perl


mrmccrac-GumbyBRAIN: who is man bear pig?
GumbyBRAINMan i need to get a modification of a fried pig and eating without my hands wouldn't be "too much bacon" for me; i don't know what @inc is?
iankmrmccrac-: he is half man, and half bearpig.
* shaldannonis half man, half asleep
iankHalf ass leap?
iankWhat's a leap?
* shaldannonstabs iank
* iankpunches shaldannon
* shaldannonkicks iank in the groin
* iankpasses out from the pain
TaglineAs long as you don't resort to violence

chromatic: Choice of Syntax


If choice of syntax were the main factor of the maintainability of existing code, wouldn't the comment mantra be "Comment what you're doing, not why"?

You can look up syntax in the language's documentation.

WorkChoice of Syntax

Mark Jason Dominus - "More about How to Ask a Good Question"


I don't have many examples where the author really blew it, because I try not to answer those questions. I figure that even if I don't, someone else will come along and say ``Because you can't just make shit up and expect the computer to magically know what you mean, Retardo!''. And even if nobody does come along and say this, that's not a bad thing.

AuthorMark Jason Dominus
Work"More about How to Ask a Good Question"

Light Bulb Joke


Q: How many hardware engineers does it take to replace a lightbulb?

A: None! We'll fix it in software.

AuthorUnknown Author
WorkLightbulb Jokes - Computers

Linux Kernel Module's Programmer Guide: Beginning Programmers


When the first caveman programmer chiseled the first program on the walls of the first cave computer, it was a program to paint the string `Hello, world' in Antelope pictures. Roman programming textbooks began with the `Salut, Mundi' program. I don't know what happens to people who break with this tradition, but I think it's safer not to find out. We'll start with a series of hello world programs that demonstrate the different aspects of the basics of writing a kernel module.

AuthorOri Pomerantz
WorkLinux Kernel Module's Programmer Guide

chromatic - "Program vs. Script" - #1


The difference between a program and a script isn't as subtle as most people think. A script is interpreted, and a program is compiled.

Of course, there's no reason you can't write a compiler that immediately executes the compiled form of a program without writing compilation artifacts to disk, but that's an implementation detail, and precision in technical matters is important.

Though Perl 5, for example, doesn't write out the artifacts of compilation to disk and Java and .Net do, Perl 5 is clearly an interpreter even though it evaluates the compiled form of code in the same way that the JVM and the CLR do. Why? Because it's a scripting language.

Okay, that's a facetious explanation.

The difference between a program and a script is if there's native compilation available in at least one widely-used implementation. Thus Java before the prevalence of even the HotSpot JVM and its JIT was a scripting language and now it's a programming language, except that you can write a C interpreter that doesn't have a JIT and C programs become scripts.

Work"Program vs. Script"

chromatic - "Program vs. Script" - #2


Of course, if someone were to write an extra optimizer step for Perl 5 to evaluate certain parts of the optree and generate native code in memory on certain platforms without writing it out to disk (uh oh…) and then execute that code under certain conditions, all Perl 5 scripts would automatically turn into programs. You know, like .pmc files, or Python's .pyc files. Uh.

As well, if more people use Punie (Perl 1 on Parrot) this year than native Perl 1 -- a possibility -- then Perl 1 scripts automatically become Perl 1 programs because Punie can use Parrot's JIT. I don't know if this powerful upgrade from script to program is retroactive, but I see no reason why not.

Perl 5 scripts were briefly programs while Ponie was viable, but the removal of the code from the Parrot tree has now downgraded them back to scripts. We apologize for the inconvenience.

Work"Program vs. Script"

chromatic - "Program vs. Script" - #3


To summarize, if you have a separate compilation step visible to developers, you have programs. If not, you have scripts. An exception is that if you have a separate, partial compilation step at runtime and not visible to users, then you may have programs. The presence of one implementation that performs additional compilationy thingies at runtime instantly upgrades all scripts to programs, while the presence of an interpreter for a language in which people normally write programs, not scripts, does not downgrade programs to scripts. Program-ness is sticky.

I hope this is now clear.

Ironically some JavaScript implementations have JITs, so the colloquial name of the language should change from JavaScript to JavaProgram.

Script bad, four-legs good.

Work"Program vs. Script"

Stroustrup on Ease of Use


I have always wished that my computer would be as easy to use as my telephone. My wish has come true - I no longer know how to use my telephone.

AuthorBjarne Stroustrup
WorkMy Other New Computer (Replacement Model)

Moving Pianos


Moving pianos is dangerous.
Moving pianos are dangerous.

AuthorLanguage Log
Work"Nearly All Strings of Words are Ungrammatical"

"Real men don't"


> Someone here said "Real Men use LaTeX". So I'll add:
> * "Real men don't install Wine"
> * "Real men don't watch T.V."

Real men don't listen to sentences that start with "Real men don't".

WorkWhatsup.org.il Comment

"Let a Thousand Flowers Bloom"


I have to say I cringed a little when I read it, because it helps reinforce the idea that there's a sort of Perl Hierarchy, or that there are Perl Gods, or that "you must be this tall to ride".

Randal and I are just normal ol' Perl hackers. We just spend a lot of time on Perl, and writing about it, and talking about it. The only reason we are Perl luminaries is that we are Perl luminaries. I'm not necessarily a better programmer, or have better ideas, or I'm a better debugger than anyone else. I just do it and make noise about it.

Even though Joey's response was out of line, I admire his spirit of "I'm just going to go do it." TMTOWTDI is one of the cardinal rules of Perl. Similarly, over on the module-authors list, the perennial argument of "Maybe CPAN should have minimum requirements for posting modules" has raised its ugly head. Instead, I said what I always say during these arguments: "CPAN thrives BECAUSE of the unfettered uploading of shit, not in spite of it."

So to it will be with Joey's website. Maybe it will be a dismal failure. Maybe it will become the Next Great Perl resource. However, I know that there is zero chance of Next Great Perl resource if he doesn't try. The only way you get home runs is by stepping up to the plate, and if you strike out, you're doing pretty good. Batting 3/10 is a great batting average, but in real life we find those odds terrifying.

Personally, as much as I like the community around Perlmonks, I think it's a terrible site for new people, and is practically unsearchable. I'd love to see something leapfrog Perlmonks and become the Next Great Thing. That's why I stopped writing to use.perl.org, because I think it's a terrible news source. Instead, I started perlbuzz.com, and went with that. Yes, it's different, but that's OK.

Let a thousand flowers bloom!

AuthorAndy Lester
Work"Let a thousand flowers bloom"

What do you do with ideas?


jrockway"omg i have web 2.0 photoship skillz AND LOVE TEH GIT LETS MAKE A STARTUP!!!11!!"
awwaiidit drops my cool-concept impressedness of github like 100 points
jrockwaythat's the rails mentailty
jrockway"i have an idea, so i'm going to make a company"
jrockwaycompared to the perl version, "i have an idea, so I'm going to write a module"
awwaiidis that why we're all poor?
jrockwayawwaiid: no, starting companies is not how you get rich :)
TaglineWhat do you do with an idea?

Manipulating People Using Perl


Khisanth<insert obligatory disclaimer about parsing HTML with regex>
BotjeKhisanth =~ s/disclaimer/death threat/
KhisanthI can live with that
Botjeooh, i got write access on Khisanth
BotjeKhisanth =~ s/must sleep/must give Botje all my money/
Botjeand now we play the waiting game … >:)
afallenhopeBotje, write&
* Khisanthgives all of Botje's money to himself
BotjeKhisanth: that's not supposed to happen!
* Botjeresets the universe
Khisanthbuggy code
snegtulno such thing Khisanth! =)
snegtulthe bugs are a lie!
TaglineManipulating People with Perl

OSNews.com: Mono Syllabic Review


Win95 - Wow!
Win98 - Oh
WinMe - Ow!
Win2k - Oooh
WinXp - Meh
Vista - Doh!

This mono-syllabic review brought to you by the letter 'W' and the number '7'

WorkI can't imagine saying "oh, wow!" about

Cats and Computer Trees


pkruminsPrim's algorithm, om nom nom
f00li5hcats don't like being trapped in trees, is handy to know how to traverse one quickly!
pkruminsthe more tree traversal algorithms a kit knows, the sneakier the kit is
* f00li5hvisits every node, traveling on the minium weighted edges
pkruminssneaky kit
TaglineCats and Computer Trees

"Stumble on a Wiki Page"


Surely there's a better way, no?

Ask the maintainers of M::B, EU::MM and M::I to all export a `halt` function that does just this? That would also provide a convenient spot in the respective modules’ docs for related CPAN Testers arcana, so people wouldn’t have to stumble onto a wiki page in the bottom of a locked cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying “beware the leopard” in order to learn these trivia.

AuthorAristotle Pagaltzis
WorkRe: cpantesters - why exit(0)?

Samuel Beckett - Ever Tried


Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter.

Try again. Fail again. Fail better.

AuthorSamuel Beckett
WorkWorstward Ho

Larry Wall on Ada Lovelace


Suppose you went back to Ada Lovelace and asked her the difference between a script and a program. She'd probably look at you funny, then say something like: Well, a script is what you give the actors, but a program is what you give the audience. That Ada was one sharp lady…

AuthorLarry Wall
Work"Programming is Hard, Let's Go Scripting"

Larry Wall on BASIC


Now, however it was initially intended, I think BASIC turned out to be one of the first major scripting languages, especially the extended version that DEC put onto its minicomputers called BASIC/PLUS, which happily included recursive functions with arguments. I started out as a BASIC programmer. Some people would say that I'm permanently damaged. Some people are undoubtedly right.

But I'm not going to apologize for that. All language designers have their occasional idiosyncrasies. I'm just better at it than most. :-)

Anyway, when I was a RSTS programmer on a PDP-11, I certainly treated BASIC as a scripting language, at least in terms of rapid prototyping and process control. I'm sure it warped my brain forever. Perl's statement modifiers are straight out of BASIC/PLUS. It even had some cute sigils on the ends of its variables to distinguish string and integer from floating point.

But you could do extreme programming. In fact, I had a college buddy I did pair programming with. We took a compiler writing class together and studied all that fancy stuff from the dragon book. Then of course the professor announced we would be implementing our own language, called PL/0. After thinking about it a while, we announced that we were going to do our project in BASIC. The professor looked at us like were insane. Nobody else in the class was using BASIC. And you know what? Nobody else in the class finished their compiler either. We not only finished but added I/O extensions, and called it PL 0.5. That's rapid prototyping.

AuthorLarry Wall
Work"Programming is Hard, Let's Go Scripting"

Larry Wall - JAM (no not that one)


My first scripting language was written in BASIC. For my job in the computer center I wrote a language that I called JAM, short for Jury-rigged All-purpose Meta-language. Story of my life…

JAM was an inside-out text-processing language much like PHP, except that HTML hadn't been invented yet. We mostly used it as a fancy macro processor for BASIC. Unlike PHP, it did not have 3,000 functions in one namespace. We wouldn't have had the memory, for one thing.

AuthorLarry Wall
Work"Programming is Hard, Let's Go Scripting"

Larry Wall - LISP


For good or ill, when I went off to grad school, I studied linguistics, so the only computer language I used there was LISP. It was my own personal McCarthy era.

Is LISP a candidate for a scripting language? While you can certainly write things rapidly in it, I cannot in good conscience call LISP a scripting language. By policy, LISP has never really catered to mere mortals.

And, of course, mere mortals have never really forgiven LISP for not catering to them.

AuthorLarry Wall
Work"Programming is Hard, Let's Go Scripting"

Larry Wall - Common Memes Floating Around


I think, to most people, scripting is a lot like obscenity. I can't define it, but I'll know it when I see it. Here are some common memes floating around:

Simple language
"Everything is a string"
Rapid prototyping
Glue language
Process control
Domain specific
"Batteries included"

…I don't see any real center here, at least in terms of technology. If I had to pick one metaphor, it'd be easy onramps. And a slow lane. Maybe even with some optional fast lanes.

AuthorLarry Wall
Work"Programming is Hard, Let's Go Scripting"

chromatic - Perl's reliable state of the art


That's not helpful. When a project doesn't release a new version, some people say "Oh, don't use it! They don't release new versions!" When a project does release a new version, some people say "Oh, don't use it! It's not perfect yet!"

Meanwhile, the so-called reliable state of the art is a jumble of Perl which writes cross platform shell scripts to install Perl code, and you customize that by writing a superclass from which platform-specific modules inherit pseudo-methods which use regular expressions to search and replace cross-platform cross-shell code, with all of the cross-platform and cross-shell quoting issues that entails. I wish I were making any of this up. (I wrote tests for part of it.)

This is why we can't have nice things.

Work"Re: Module::Build 0.30 is released"

"Ask Not What Your Country Can Do For You" and more


Ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country

-- John F. Kennedy (from his Inaugural Address).

The common good before the private good.

-- One of the slogans of Nazism in Nazi Germany.

AuthorBased on a page on an Objectivism Site
WorkGlossary of Nazi Germany in the Wikipedia

What are You Trying to Achieve?


sQuEEeval: [qr/^(\d)(?{ "x{$1}" })$/]
buubotsQuEE: [qr/(?-xism:^(\d)(?{ "x{$1}" })$)/]
* maukelooks at sQuEE
fizztpok_Man, I always feel like I'm getting the hang of Perl until I see nonsense like that.
maukewhat are you trying to do?
sQuEEim trying to eval qr/$regex/ which contains ^(\d)(??{ "x{$1}" })$ , but $@ returns null
maukeno, what are you actually trying to do?
iksQuEE: what is the point of doing the thing that you are doing?
sQuEEno, thats just a testing example
sQuEEim trying to assign $regex what i captured from a previous match using qr// , eval { $regex = qr/$2/ };
sQuEEim not sure what im doing wrong
maukeI'm not interested in what you're doing; what are you trying to achieve?
ikYou're capturing a regex with a regex and attempting to use said regex?
ikI hope the data you're matching isn't input :(
PerlJammauke: I'm trying to achieve world peace and this regex is the last thing standing in my way! ;)
Khisanththere will be no world peace!
* Khisanthstabs PerlJam
DrForrCan I at least have whirled peas?
* PerlJamfires up the whirly gig for DrForr and inserts some peas
* Khisanthdumps a bowl of whirled peas on DrForr's head
DrForrMmm, whirled peas.
Tagline"What are you trying to achieve?"

What's the Difference Between JavaScript and Java?


What's the difference between JavaScript and Java?

One is essentially a toy, designed for writing small pieces of code, and traditionally used and abused by inexperienced programmers.

The other is a scripting language for web browsers.

WorkStackoverflow.com Question

"R is similar…"


R is similar to other programming languages, like C, Java and Perl, in that it helps people perform a wide variety of computing tasks by giving them access to various commands.

New York Times article about R, quoted in jest's use.perl.org journal - http://use.perl.org/~jest/journal/38229

Work"Worst sentence ever written about programming in the MSM"

"A discussion is not a war"


tk: A discussion is not a war, to be won or lost. It is a communal quest for truth. And you are inhibiting it by responding at only the most superficial level. Look beyond the presence of a word to its context. Respond to the thoughts expressed there. Or simply leave.

Work"What does 'lose' mean?" (Comment on an Advogato Article)

"Someone is Wrong"


mstbut jrockway will bitch about them all anyway
stevanrhesa: 100% of those with the last name "Rockway" will do that
rjbsSubject: catalyst framework not compatible with PERL
jrockwaystevan: i am going to name my kid "Someone is WRONG"
stevanjrockway: I think that will be implied, no need to actually name him that
perigrinSomeone is WRONG rockway
perigrinhas a nice ring to it
Penfoldaka 'little Bobby wrong'?
rhesawould make a great children's book series: SiW in the zoo etc
stevanthe first one in the series should be Someone is Wrong on the internet
jrockwayrhesa: that is a great idea!
jrockwayrhesa: i have a friend who is writing a children's book
jrockwayi will tell her to change the title and content immediately!
jrockwaysomeone is wrong in the children's book industry!
rjbs"No, zookeeper. That animal doesn't have a tail; it's *not* a monkey!"
Tagline"Someone is Wrong"

Lightning Fast Objects


jrockwaybtw, feel free to LOL: http://stackoverflow.com/questions/605641/how-to-use-classarrayobjects
jrockwaywow, such concise code
jrockwayand i can FEEL THE SPEED from using arrays
rjbsbowl full of mush
rindolfjrockway: there was a discussion about using arrays as objects in module-authors.
jrockwayi read it and laughed
jrockway(yeah, someone is wrong on the internet, but i don't really care)
rjbsI use JSON strings as my objects, and define my classes in terms of regexps that pull out the right attributes.
rjbsIt makes the code portable to JavaScript, except the methods.
jrockwaygreat plan!
jrockwayregexps are fast in perl, because perl is designed for parsing text
rjbstx, can I add "endorsed by jon rockway" to my precis?
jrockwayoh yeah
jrockwayi recommend you reverse the JSON first, though, to provide better encapsulation
jrockwayotherwise people could read the objects… and that breaks encapsulation, dontchaknow
rjbsI use UTF-16 and rot4096.
jrockwayUTF-16 IS TOO SLOW!
jrockwayi can't believe we are even having this conversation… utf-16…
jrockwayi am never speaking to you again!
* rindolfwonders how one can combine JSON with inside-out objects.
rjbsjrockway: no, no, WITHOUT the bom
rjbsBOM is what makes it slow.
rjbsrindolf: sub id { my $self = shift; $json_parser_for{ $self }->decode($json_for{ $self })->{id} }
rindolfrjbs: LOL.
Dylanunicode: somebody set us up the BOM
rindolfWhere's the BOM? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering Ka-BOM!
rjbsI think Iran has it.
perigrinif it doesn't … Sen. McCain will introduce a bill to provide them with one
rjbsgive the bom bom bom, bom to Iran
rjbsfunnier if you pronounce Iran properly
perigriniran … iran so far away …
rindolfiRack - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rw2nkoGLhrE
autarchsomeone set us up the BOM
jnapiorkowskiI thought all our base waz ownzed or something like that
* confoundis the king of BOM
rjbswho's the BOM king?
confoundI'm the BOM king!
ubu"once i was the King of BOM"
rjbshear me now
TaglineLightning Fast Objects

"pgTAP 0.20 Infiltrates Community"


I did all I could to stop it, but it just wasn't possible. pgTAP 0.20 has somehow made its way from my Subversion server and infiltrated the PostgreSQL community. Can nothing be done to stop this menace? Its use leads to cleaner, more stable, and more-safely refctored code. This insanity must be stopped! Please review the following list of its added vileness since 0.19 to determine how you can stop the terrible, terrible influence on your PostgreSQL unit-testing practices that is pgTAP: …

Don't make the same mistake I did, where I wrote a lot of pgTAP tests for a client, and now testing database upgrades from 8.2 to 8.3 is just too reliable! And by all means, DO NOT read the documentation or download and install this monstrosity, since it could easily lead to cleaner, more stable code, and therefore losing your job!

http://pgtap.projects.postgresql.org/ http://pgfoundry.org/frs/?group_id=1000389


Good luck with your mission.

AuthorDavid E. Wheeler
WorkpgTAP 0.20 Infiltrates Community

"I'm a Lesbian…"


I'm a Lesbian born in a man's body.

AuthorUnclear (origin needed)

If you have the same ideas as everybody else…


If you have the same ideas as everybody else, but have them one week earlier than everyone else - then you will be hailed as a visionary. But if you have them five years earlier, you will be named a lunatic.

— Barry Jones

AuthorBarry Jones
WorkBarry Jones Quotes

Great, mediocre and small minds


Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people.

Unknown, quoted by Admiral Hyman G. Rickover

AuthorHyman G. Rickover
WorkHyman G. Rickover Quotes

Tail for the lions…


Better be a tail for the lions, rather than the head of the jackals.

Rabbi Mathiah Ben Charash in Pirkei Avot 4, 15

AuthorRabbi Mathiah Ben Charash
WorkPirkei Avot 4, 15

Learned a lot from my teachers


I learned a lot from my teachers, and from my friends more than my teachers, and from my pupils the most.

— Rabbi Hanina, the Talmud

AuthorRabi Hanina, The Jewish Talmud
Work"Three Levels of Learnings" (from "Thoughts about the Best Introductory (Programming) Language")

Slashdot: Internet Explorer is Perfectly Safe


I must dispute your view in the strongest terms possible. Internet Explorer is perfectly safe for everyday use. However, as there is no such thing as perfect security, you must take additional precautions to keep evil hackers away from your data. Apply these rules according to the sensitivity of your data, from least important to most:

  • Disconnect your computer from your local network. Download files on another computer, scan them for viruses, print them out, scan them into your Windows PC using OCR software, and then view the pages in IE.
  • Do the above, but have a priest onsite to bless each page individually before scanning it. This is an excellent deterrent against viruses with the word "demon" in the name.
  • Do the above, but encase your PC in acrylic and immerse it in a 10,000 gallon tank of holy water. Interact with it while wearing scuba gear.
  • Do the above, but put a lid on the tank and immerse it in the ocean. Interact with your PC via a submersible robot in the tank from from outside while wearing scuba gear.

If you fail to follow these simple security guidelines, you can't blame Microsoft for the results.

Work"Re: Breaking News" Slashdot Comment

What is an encyclopedia?


Yesterday I asked one of my students if she knew what an encyclopedia is, and she said: "Is it something like Wikipedia?".

WorkTwitter Twit

J. Hall in response to Dr. Judith Bauer


The move from a structuralist account in which capital is understood to structure social relations in relatively homologous ways to a view of hegemony in which power relations are subject to repetition, convergence, and rearticulation brought the question of temporality into the thinking of structure, and marked a shift from a form of Althusserian theory that takes structural totalities as theoretical objects to one in which the insights into the contingent possibility of structure inaugurate a renewed conception of hegemony as bound up with the contingent sites and strategies of the rearticulation of power.

By the eight brazen balls of Azuza the Bibulous Bandicoot, I'd rather be cast naked and chained into a lake of bubbling white hot fondue cheese than be one of her students.

That is, if she actually teaches anything at Berkeley [which can be, really, a lovely place full of very smart science people, theologians and historians, though you'd never know it by this whale's spout of academic doublespeak].

I suspect she sits on a lot of committees and inserts the word 'hegemony' into conversations as often as possible and is avoided at all costs during the holidays lest one become becalmed in the horse latitudes of her spleen regarding Christmas trees, "The Ref" and the hegemony of Zionist post-piety in a restructured universe of gender in-articulation.

For a full PhD at UCB in a language art, she cannot, and will not, though, write a simple, clear, understandable sentence. Think about that for a minute.

And to think my Cal state taxes pay for her office desk chair. Man.

Hegemoniously yours, etc.


AuthorJ. Hall
WorkPost to writers@mit.edu .

Valerie Aurora: Sleeping with the Enemy


Jonathan Schwartz’s resignation via Twitter reminded me of a strange facet of Sun company culture: I’ve never known so many married couples working for the same company. Some of them even worked on the same project together. For the same boss. From home.

Now, the exact percentage of married couples in a company can’t be used to compare companies directly – after all, it depends heavily on things like industry, age, and local marriage laws – but it seems linked to another facet of Sun company culture: Complete, almost embarrassing disconnect from public opinion.

The post-Google standard company perks – free food, on-site exercise classes, company shuttles – make it trivial to speak only to fellow employees in daily life. If you spend all day with your co-workers, socialize only with your co-workers, and then come home and eat dinner with – you guessed it – your co-worker, you might go several years without hearing the words, “Run Solaris on my desktop? Are you f—ing kidding me?

Schwartz’s “the financial crisis did it” explanation for Sun’s demise is a symptom of an inbred company culture in which employees at all levels voluntarily isolated themselves from the larger Silicon Valley culture. Tech journalists write incessantly about the exchange of expertise and best practice between companies as a major driver of the Bay area’s success. But you have to actually talk to your competition to do that – over a beer, or maybe a pillow.

AuthorValerie Aurora
Work"Sleeping with the enemy"

All American Rejects - "Gives You Hell" Quote


And truth be told I miss you.

And truth be told I'm lying.

AuthorThe All American Rejects
Work"Gives You Hell" Lyrics

Rob Pike's Answer to "One Tool for One Job"


One tool for one job?

Given the nature of current operating systems and applications, do you think the idea of "one tool doing one job well" has been abandoned? If so, do you think a return to this model would help bring some innovation back to software development?

(It's easier to toss a small, single-purpose app and start over than it is to toss a large, feature-laden app and start over.)

Rob Pike: Those days are dead and gone and the eulogy was delivered by Perl.

AuthorRob Pike
WorkSlashdot Interview

Larry Wall about Do One Thing and Do it Well


Or think about shell programming, and reductionism. How many times have we heard the mantra that a program should do one thing and do it well?

Well…Perl does one thing, and does it well. What it does well is to integrate all its features into one language. More importantly, it does this without making them all look like each other. Ducts shouldn't look like girders, and girders shouldn't look like ducts. Neither of those should look like water pipes, and it's really important that water pipes not look like sewer pipes. Or smell like sewer pipes. Modernism says that we should make all these things look the same (and preferably invisible). Postmodernism says it's okay for them to stick out, and to look different, because a duct ought to look like a duct, and a sewer pipe ought to look like a sewer pipe, and hammer ought to look like a hammer, and a telephone ought to look like either a telephone, or a Star Trek communicator. Things that are different should look different.

AuthorLarry Wall
Work"Perl, the first postmodern computer language"

Slashdot: Jokes on Slashdot


Which is why I didn't belabor it, or introduce it out of context. I was pointing out that Firefox's scheme is only as secure as the master password you choose. The particular bad password I chose for the Spaceballs reference on the hope that it might get a chuckle or trigger a brief moment of pleasant nostalgia, forgetting that on /., every joke must be beaten to death and explained, rehashed, insulted, re-explained by someone who thinks the insult came due to unfamiliarity, etc., until all traces of humor vanish. Oh well…

Hmm… This is an old story, so this probably won't receive any mods, but I have no idea what I'd mod it if I were moderating. Flamebait/Insightful/Funny/Interesting/Off-topic maybe? Mods, if you can coordinate to apply each of those once, it would be awesome (and I'd end up with overall neutral Karma!). :-)

Work"Re: Prettier Tool, Old Exploit"

Larry Wall Quote


Doing linear scans over an associative array is like trying to club someone to death with a loaded Uzi.

AuthorLarry Wall
Work"Re: grep on keys of associative array s-l-o-w. Why?" (comp.lang.perl Usenet post)

What does "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." really mean?


I keep hearing and reading this nice proverb if it ain't broke, don't fix it. The latest apperance was in response to Shlomi Fish suggesting that some Ancient Perl code should be replaced by Modern Perl code.

I am not saying that every pices of code should be rewritten every 6 months, but in my understanding that sentence actually translates to let's wait till it breaks and then panic.

I think people who say that sentence are afraid that the new version will break something. Sure, there is always a chance that a change introduces an error, but, if we are afraid to touch the code, what will happen when later on we encounter a case where it does not work? For example, if we need to use it in a new environment. Will we have the courage to change the code then? How much will it cost in money, time, and lost sleep?

I think we have been trying to teach ourselves that we should have really good test coverage of our code and then we can easily refactor it and get rid of technical debt. So why do we keep hearing that sentence?

AuthorGabor Szabo
WorkWhat does "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." really mean?

Gabor Szabo on "I don't know Perl."


Often, when I ask the people I train if they know Perl, they tell me “I don't know Perl. I can only read it”. I wonder whether it indicates that Perl is not a write-only language as some people like to claim.

AuthorGabor Szabo
WorkGabor Szabo (Perl programmer and trainer)

Slasdhot on Patents on Reality T.V.


(Discussing patents on storylines.)

Hopefully someone will patent reality TV shows. I am rather sick of those.

Wait no, this wont work. You need to have a story to be able to patent it. Soon all that will be on the air is reality TV. Noooo!

WorkUSPTO Issues Provisional Storyline Patent

Vanguard about Real Programmers


Real programmers use a nice editor and a nice programming language and get it done in less than O(N!).

-- vanguard on Freenode's ##programming

WorkFreeNode's ##programming

Modern Fairy Tale about Short Stories


* Juliet|Awesomeshould publish her short stories
cmptrgeekkencan #so get a discount, juju?
Juliet|Awesomeonly if you say nice things about them
cmptrgeekken"This book is teh s3x"
Juliet|AwesomeI'm like one of those people who is so overly critical about her writing and has such an intense fear of failure that I never… ummmm…. get around to it
madsyJuliet|Awesome: Your title can be "Kawaii". Now get to it ;-)
Juliet|AwesomeOnce upon a time there was midwestern computer programmer who couldn't bring herself to write the warped and tortured stories spinning round and round her sordid imagination
jessicahand then a kiwi married her and made all things right in her world
Juliet|AwesomeThen she did, and it was awesome, for she was awesome. She absolutely radiated with awesomeness, so much so it gave all the kids at the nearby elementary school a rare form of leukemia and radiation sickness
TaglineThe Awesome princess, rescued by the awesome prince on his awesome white horse

Gandhi - “An Eye for an Eye…“


An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind.

AuthorMohandas Karamchand Gandhi (Attributed)
WorkMohandas Gandhi's Quotes

Spaceballs - Druish Princess


Princess Vespa: I am Princess Vespa, daughter of Roland, King of the Druids.

Lone Starr: Oh great. That's all we needed. A Druish princess.

Barf: Funny, she doesn't look Druish.

AuthorMel Brooks

UserFriendly.org: Greg at the Veterans Club


[ Greg the tech support guy is sitting in a Veterans club along with a veteran. ]

Veteran: Tech support? What the hell kind of wussy veteran experience is that?!

Greg: Look, pal, you try to deal rationally with a horde of puerile, clueless, I-make-more-money-than-you-so-fix-this-now dorks on a daily basis and then tell me who should get a medal.

[ Pause. ]

Veteran: I…I'm sorry. I didn't know...

Greg: Buddy, you have just no idea what real pain is about.

WorkUserFriendly Comic Strip for 10 October, 2001

“Yo Dawg,”


Lubaf“yo dawg, we heard you like recursion, so we put a yo dawg, we heard you like recursion, so we put a yo dawg, we heard you like recursion…”
rindolfLubaf: :-)
LubafFurther variation: “yo dawg, we heard you don’t like fractals.”
TaglineYo Dawg

There was one Napoleon…


There was one Napoleon, one George Washington, and one me!

AuthorJim Cash and Joe Epps Jr.
WorkDick Tracy (1990 film)

“If at first…”


If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.


Daniel Browning about Correct Spelling and Grammar


In this doggy-dog world, does grammer; spelling; “or correct” quotation usage really matter anymore? I beleive not. Case and point: mitsakes is literally a diamond dozen, but they TOTALLY don’t make me want to claw my eyes out with a dull spoon. Irregardless, it begs the question: is it a mute point? For all intensive purposes, if bad enlgish would of been the downfall of society, then we’d of seen it bye now. some say teh worst problem is loosing capitalization punctuation is also an issue i think some thoughts need to be seperated or maybe its the run on sentences? Does it try your patients when I’LOL OMG Y U BFF said IDK BRB?!! OIC, the BBQ is W/E GF IKR!! 1 How bad does it get before i.e. its something up with which you will not put?

AuthorDaniel Browning
WorkPost to the Portland Perl Mongers Mailing List

“A UDP packet walks into a bar”


A UDP packet walks into a bar, no one acknowledges him.

A TCP packet walks into a bar twice because no one acknowledged him the first time.

An ICMP packet walks into a bar, says “Hello!” to the bartender, who then in turn runs out to tell the ICMP packet’s wife.

A BGP peer walks into a bar, exchanges contact details with every one, then leaves and… yeah I’ve probably gone over my quota for terrible jokes today.

WorkYou Down with UDP?

UDP Joke


The best thing about a UDP joke is that I don’t care if you get it or not.

WorkYou Down with UDP?

Steven Rostedt about comments and code


Golden rule #12: When the comments do not match the code, they probably are both wrong ;)

AuthorSteven Rostedt
WorkPost to the Linux kernel mailing list


Way too boring, what you really want is for every package to have its own twitter account so you can tweet karma :-).

You might be on to something here! But the 140 char limit would really stifle my creativity when it comes to comments. I'd rather create facebook pages for every package - that way we could add karma by “liking” a package.

We could even take it a step farther and use this for marketing. Just imagine - “Play farmville with glibc next wednesday and learn about the great new features!”, “gdb has shared a picture with you”, “NetworkManager wants to be your friend”. Oh the possibilities …

Then again, the thought of getting an email saying “Anaconda is now following you on Twitter” also amuses me.

AuthorTim Flink
WorkRe: Fedora QA and Google Summer of Code 2012

Children warned name of first pet should contain 8 characters and a digit


Popular pet names Rover, Cheryl and Kate could be a thing of the past. Banks are now advising parents to think carefully before naming their child’s first pet. For security reasons, the chosen name should have at least eight characters, a capital letter and a digit. It should not be the same as the name of any previous pet, and must never be written down, especially on a collar as that is the first place anyone would look. Ideally, children should consider changing the name of their pet every 12 weeks.

Expectant mothers have also been advised to choose carefully where they give birth. Anywhere that has a place name is best avoided. These are listed on maps, which are freely available on the Internet.

It’s a good idea too, security experts have warned, for children not to get friendly with certain teachers. For instance, Miss Smith may be enriching your son’s education but he should try and see if he can’t make a favourite of Father O’Grinnighan-Scythe II, even though it may mean a lot of staying late.

We tried to call Barclays’ security expert R0b Ste!nway for a comment, but he was not available for 24 hours, having answered his phone incorrectly three times in succession.

WorkNewsBiscuit Post

Why Debian May Have an Older Version of a Package


There are a ton of reasons why Debian may have an older version of an upstream release. For example, and I hasten to point out that the following list is by no means exhaustive, and not all of the possibilities are common:

  • The Debian package maintainer is dead, but nobody noticed it yet, and nobody has wanted an update badly enough to do an NMU or to adopt the package.
  • The upstream release is actually a fake. It's a trojan, which was put there by the NSA in order to infiltrate the CIA mainframe. The Debian package maintainer noticed this and uploaded that version of the package to non-free instead of main, since the trojan code does not come with proper source.
  • Upstream has moved the RSS feed for new releases without notifying the old feed of the move, so the Debian package maintainer missed that, and doesn't actually know about the new release. Due to a complicated series of happenstance involving rainbows, midget unicorns, and the ongoing rewrite of the Netsurf web browser, the Debian package maintainer is not able to find the new feed because it would require doing a web search and their browser doesn't have working form support now. No other browser is available on the Amiga they're using as their only computer, either.
  • The new release is requested by insistent Hurd porters, and the Debian package maintainer absolutely loathes the Hurd, and will refuse to upload any packages that work on the Hurd.
  • The Debian package maintainer suffers from mental problems cause by reading debian-devel too much, and now has a nervous breakdown every time they recognize a name as someone whom they've seen on the list.
  • The Debian development process is being sabotaged by Microsoft sending people to the developers' houses pretending to be TV license checkers or Jehova's witnesses every time they detect, using the hardware wireless keylogger embedded in every PC, that the developer is trying to run any Debian packaging command.
  • Apple is also sabotaging Debian by paying me to write snarky e-mails on Debian mailing lists to distract everyone from working on the actual release, so that we can get past the freeze and start uploading things again without having to worry that it breaks things in ways that makes the freeze longer.
AuthorLars Wirzenius
WorkPost to debian-devel

Writing for the World


Some European users bugged me into adding an option to limit the number of messages retrieved per session (so they can control costs from their expensive phone networks). I resisted this for a long time, and I'm still not entirely happy about it. But if you're writing for the world, you have to listen to your customers—this doesn't change just because they're not paying you in money.

AuthorEric Raymond
WorkThe Cathedral and the Bazaar

Excerpt from “Best Thing I Never Had”


Thank God I found the good in goodbye!

Work“Best Thing I Never Had”

Eleanor Roosevelt Quote


Do one thing every day that scares you.

AuthorEleanor Roosevelt

Larry Wall: “All Truth is God’s Truth”


I have a book on my bookshelf that I’ve never read, but that has a great title. It says, “All Truth is God’s Truth.” And I believe that. The most viable belief systems are those that can reach out and incorporate new ideas, new memes, new metaphors, new interfaces, new extensions, new ways of doing things. My goal this year is to try to get Perl to reach out and cooperate with Java. I know it may be difficult for some of you to swallow, but Java is not the enemy. Nor is Lisp, or Python, or Tcl. That is not to say that these languages don't have good and bad points. I am not a cultural relativist. Nor am I a linguistic relativist. In case you hadn't noticed. :-)

AuthorLarry Wall
WorkLarry Wall’s “Perl Culture” Keynote

The CIA vs. The KGB vs. The Shin Bet


A contest is being held to see which intelligence agency can find a rabbit in a forest as quickly as possible.

First, it's the CIA's turn. Using cutting edge satellite technology, deep electronic scans, and other high-tech equipment, it is able to locate the rabbit in a week.

Then, it's the KGB's turn. They install secret agents, bribe or threaten a few animals, and find the rabbit in two weeks.

Then it's the Shin Bet’s turn (the Shin Bet being the Israeli internal security agency). A week passes, and then two, and then three.

After two months, the camera zooms into the forest to see a bear tied to a tree with a Shin Bet agent slapping him saying “Admit you’re a rabbit! Admit you’re a rabbit! Admit it already, goddamnit!”

AuthorIsraeli Joke
WorkGoogle Plus Post

An Engineer in Hell


An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, you’re an engineer. You are in the wrong place.”

So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, “So, how’s it going down there in hell?”

Satan replies, “Hey, things are going great. We’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.”

God replies, “What? You’ve got an engineer? That’s a mistake. He should never have gotten down there; send him up here.”

Satan says, “No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I’m keeping him.”

God says, “Send him back up here or I’ll sue.”

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, “Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?”


Joke: The Believer Rabbi


There was a Rabbi living in Louisiana - he was great in the Torah, very friendly, extremely helpful and righteous - helps the poor, finds jobs for people, resolves feuds - everybody liked him. And he lived in a remote shack on the Louisiana coast, right before Hurricane Katrina came.

So two people arrived there in a Jeep and told the Rabbi: “Rabbi, there will be a flood, come with us so you’ll be saved.” and the Rabbi said: “No, that’s OK - God will save me.”.

And indeed it started to rain, and there was a lot of water, and so a boat arrived at the Rabbi’s house and the people there told the Rabbi: “Rabbi, there’s a flood, come with us and you’ll be saved.” and the Rabbi told them: “No, that’s OK - God will save me.” and he remained there.

And it continued to rain, and the water level went up and the Rabbi had to climb to the roof of his shack. A helicopter arrived at his shack, and the people inside told the Rabbi: “Rabbi, there’s a big flood. Come with us to safety.”, and the Rabbi said: “No, that’s OK - God will save me.”. And the Helicopter left.

The water levels rose even more, and the Rabbi drowned, and his soul went to heaven. There he confronted God and asked him: “Dear God all mighty, I have been a righteous and good man my whole life - why didn't you save me?”, and God replied “Well, I tried. I sent you a Jeep, a boat - even a helicopter - but you wouldn't accept any of them. What more could I have done?”


Moral of the story is: God helps them that help God help them.


Joke: How did the Engineering Student Get His Bicycle


Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?” The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly, and said: “Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.”

WorkJokes: Comprehending Engineers

Larry Wall - The Ada Programming Language


Once I got into industry, I wrote a compiler in Pascal for a discrete event simulator, and slavered over the forthcoming Ada specs. As a linguist, I don't think of Ada as a big language. Now, English and Japanese, those are big languages. Ada is just a medium-sized language.

AuthorLarry Wall
Work"Programming is Hard, Let's Go Scripting"

Excerpt from “Bad Grammar” by James at War


I’m worser at superlatives.
And I don’t ever use no double negatives.

AuthorJames at War
Work“Bad Grammar”

Excerpt from Wyrd Sisters by Terry Pratchett


It was a good storm. There was quite effective projection and passion there, and critics agreed that if it would only learn to control its thunder it would be, in years to come, a storm to watch.

AuthorTerry Pratchett
WorkWyrd Sisters

Excerpt from Harvey Danger’s “Wine, Women, and Song”


I figured wrong (with a capital R).

AuthorHarvey Danger
Work“Wine, Women, and Song”

Joke: Praying at the Western Wall


In Jerusalem, an American female journalist heard about an old Rabbi who visited the Kotel, the Western Wall to pray twice a day every day for over five decades.

In an effort to check out the story, she goes to the holy site and there he is. She watches the old man at prayer and after about 45 minutes, when he turns to leave, she approaches him for an interview. “I’m Rebecca Smith from CNN, sir, how long have you been coming to the Wailing Wall and praying?”

“For about 50 years,” he informs her. “That’s amazing! What do you pray for?” “I pray for peace between the Jews and Arabs. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all of our children to grow up in safety and friendship.”

“And how do you feel, sir, after doing this for 50 years?”

“Like I’m talking to a brick wall!”


Lawrence Lessig: Rewarding the Critics


I find it insanely difficult to read these comments [to my blog posts]. Not because they’re bad or mistaken, but mainly because I have very thin skin. There’s a direct correlation between what I read and pain in my gut. Even unfair and mistaken criticism cuts me in ways that are just silly. If I read a bad comment before bed, I don’t sleep. If I trip upon one when I’m trying to write, I can be distracted for hours. I fantasize about creating an alter ego who responds on my behalf. But I don’t have the courage for even that deception. So instead, my weakness manifests itself through the practice (extraordinarily unfair to the comment writer) of sometimes not reading what others have said.

So then why do I blog all? Well, much of the time, I have no idea why I do it. But when I do, it has something to do with an ethic I believe that we all should live by. I first learned it from a judge I clerked for, Judge Richard Posner. Posner is without a doubt the most significant legal academic and federal judge of our time, and perhaps of the last hundred years. He was also the perfect judge to clerk for. Unlike the vast majority of appeals court judges, Posner writes his own opinions. The job of the clerk was simply to argue. He would give us a draft opinion, and we’d write a long memo in critique. He’d use that to redraft the opinion.

I gave Posner comments on much more than his opinions. In particular, soon after I began teaching he sent me a draft of a book, which would eventually become Sex and Reason. Much of the book was brilliant. But there was one part I thought ridiculous. And in a series of faxes (I was teaching in Budapest, and this was long before e-mail was generally available), I sent him increasingly outrageous comments, arguing about this section of the book.

The morning after I sent one such missive, I reread it, and was shocked by its abusive tone. I wrote a sheepish follow-up, apologizing, and saying that of course, I had endless respect for Posner, blah, blah, and blah. All that was true. So too was it true that I thought my comments were unfair. But Posner responded not by accepting my apology, but by scolding me. And not by scolding me for my abusive fax, but for my apology. “I’m surrounded by sycophants,” he wrote. “The last thing in the world I need is you to filter your comments by reference to my feelings.”

I was astonished by the rebuke. But from that moment on, I divided the world into those who would follow (or even recommend) Posner’s practice, and those who wouldn’t. And however attractive the anti-Posner pose was, I wanted to believe I could follow his ethic: Never allow, or encourage, the sycophants. Reward the critics. Not because I’d ever become a judge, or a public figure as important as Posner. But because in following his example, I would avoid the worst effects of the protected life (as a tenured professor) that I would lead.

AuthorLawrence Lessig
WorkRemix: Making Art and Commerce Thrive in the Hybrid Economy

Gabor Szabo: Yak Shaving


I was lucky as Ricardo SIGNES was also awake who explained that actually he has stopped using Module::Starter as he is writing Dist::Zilla that provides much better project management capabilities. I pointed him at my blog entry and after reading it he asked me if I know the expression yak shaving. I've heard it, actually I even read about it in in The Productive Programmer I mentioned earlier in The Quest for the Perfect Editor but I did not really understand it.

Actually, I think I understood it back when I read the book but promptly forgotten it as I did not have any way to connect the expression to the actions or lack of actions.

I was so lucky to find Ricardo there, as he explained:

  • I need to fix this bug, but first I better eat something so I don’t get tired.
  • So I'm going to have some cereal, but I'm out of milk.
  • So I'll go get some milk. But I heard that yak milk is the best, so I'll go out to Nepal to find a yak.
  • But they're all so hairy, I can't get to their udders.
  • So, first I'll just shave the yak.

This is just the way you have to teach. Now I can remember it much more easily.

AuthorGabor Szabo
Work“Yak Shaving” Blog Post

“If a tree falls down in the middle of the forest…”


If a tree falls down in the middle of the forest, and there’s no one there to hear it… what colour is the tree?

AuthorRon Gilbert
WorkMonkey Island 2: LeChuck’s Revenge

Tim Berners-Lee, the World Wide Web, and the Dexter Model


Tim Berners-Lee's abandonment of the Dexter Model for hypertext a hypertext model where all links must be resolvable at all times was (IMHO) the single biggest factor in creating a successful World Wide Web.

Before the Web, hypertext systems were assumed to have all links resolvable at all times. This was not a robust design. Now, you would think this would be more robust than the Web but it fails even for single-file hypertext systems. Early in my career, I realized that computer systems were not 100% reliable, so if wanted to create software that failed safe (or at least failed soft), you had to account for errors at every step of the way. A single-file hypertext system can still fail if access to the single file is disturbed. Across the Internet, where all computers on the Internet have not been all up at the same time since the late 1970's (and possibly not even then), you cannot build a Dexter Model hypertext system because not all of your links can be resolved all of the time.

Microsoft's Help system has become much more usable since they went to a Web (i.e. HTML) based-system. At the risk of being redundant, even if you have a lint program to verify all hypertext links and destinations, file access errors will derail your hypertext system when you use a all-resolvable-all-the-time design (and I don't know if Microsoft had such a lint tool).

It boils down to handling failures with at least a small amount of grace. Unix/Linux systems handle errors much better than Microsoft Windows 1.0-3.x systems because processes can handle out-of-bounds memory errors better (Windows NT and its descendants fall in-between Unix/Linux and 16-bit Windows). I once wrote a Perl 4-based server that would run for months at a time because it could either recover gracefully from an error or stop gracefully upon an error. The Web runs as well as it does because the software systems handle link errors with a small amount of grace, rather than just throwing up their hands or dying horribly. Thank Tim Berners-Lee and his fellow designers for the reliability of the Web we have today.

AuthorMark Leighton Fisher
Work“Tim Berners-Lee, the World Wide Web, and the Dexter Model” blog post

Peter Ustinov about Comedy


Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

AuthorPeter Ustinov
WorkPeter Ustinov Quotes

Peter Ustinov about Botticelli


If Botticelli were alive today, he’d be working for Vogue.

AuthorPeter Ustinov
WorkPeter Ustinov Quotes

Peter Ustinov about Beliefs


Beliefs are what divide people. Doubt unites them.

AuthorPeter Ustinov
WorkPeter Ustinov Quotes

Avicii - “Wake me up” Lyrics


Feeling my way through the darkness
Guided by a beating heart
I can't tell where the journey will end
But I know where to start

They tell me I'm too young to understand
They say I'm caught up in a dream
Life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes
Well that's fine by me

So wake me up when it's all over
When I'm wiser and I'm older
All this time I was finding myself
And I didn't know I was lost

I tried carrying the weight of the world
But I only have two hands
I hope I get the chance to travel the world
But I don't have any plans

Wish that I could stay forever this young
Not afraid to close my eyes
Life's a game made for everyone
And love is the prize

Work“Wake Me Up”

“What have the Romans ever done for us?”


Reg: All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?

Attendee: Brought peace?

Reg: Oh, peace - shut up!

AuthorMonty Python
WorkLife of Brian (1979)

Shakespears Sister - “Hello (Turn Your Radio On)” Excerpt


Life is a strange thing. Just when you think you learned how to use it, it’s gone.

AuthorShakespears Sister
Work“Hello (Turn Your Radio On)”

The Mighty Boosh: The Ape of Death Scene


Ape of Death: Shut up! Now you shall burn! You and your wife with the ridiculous hair.

Vince Noir: Ridiculous hair? Have you seen yours? It’s like split-ends-central!

Ape of Death: Shut up!

Vince Noir: Well look at it - it’s an Urban Fuzz.

Ape of Death: Shut your gub!

Vince Noir: You look ridiculous - it's like a ginger ball bag.

Ape of Death: Shut up I say! [ Rises up. ]

Ape of Death: I’ve always had problems with my hair. Even as a child. It’s not curly, it’s not straight. It’s somewhere in between. If I wash it, it becomes too dry, if I lead [ ? ] it, it become too greasy.

Ape of Death: I can't do a thing with it.

Vince Noir: Listen, there are hair products - straightners, finishing gel.

Ape of Death: Finishing gel? What is finishing gel?

Vince Noir: Where have you been. I could sort your hair out in six minutes.

Ape of Death: Why didn’t you tell me about this? Davy? Nemo?

[ The two Mandrill guards lower their gazes ]

Ape of Death: You can do this for me?

[ Message on the screen - “Six Minutes Later” ]

Ape of Death: This is sheer liquid wonderment. For this smashing gift, I shall set you both free. Thank you.

Vince Noir: Don’t thank me, thank Naboo’s Miracle Wax.

Ape of Death: Look at me. I’m so confident, and feel strong and super-sexy.

Ape of Death: Hit it!

AuthorThe Mighty Boosh
WorkThe Mighty Boosh - “The Ape of Death” Scene

Big O


Shammahanytime I see people talk about "Big O" as if it's some magic voodoo I cringe hard
Shammah> I have worked +7 years as a programmer and still don't know what Big O is
Shammah> Big O is very important and is one of the most important things you should learn!
Shammahbro, you can learn it in 10 minutes
Shammahit's not a big deal
Shammah> In particular, "Big O" (and its related data structures and algorithms concepts) is a key concept to making programs go fast.
Shammahshit like that
Shammahrustle smy jimmies so hard
Shammahmy poor jimmies
k-hosnon stop jimmies vibration
_bryanthe cloud is more annoying
_bryanaka the internet renamed
ShammahA series of tubes 3.0
_bryanmy old company launched a cloud marketing campaign on the clous
_bryannot a single customer of mine knew or cared
ShammahIn particular, "Big O" (and its related data structures and algorithms concepts) is a key concept to making programs go fast.
Shammahthe fuck did i just read
alteredwritten by this guy http://i.imgur.com/Tsm63TJ.png
k-hossanic the hodgepodge!
Jonas__Shammah, you don't use big o magic?
Jonas__I use the big-o lib for everything
ShammahI just use std::bigO();
Jonas__that's not even fast
Jonas__boost::bigO<T>() is like the least you should even consider
Jonas__it's boosted so it's faster
Shammahsounds legit
TaglineBig O No

Santayana’s Definition of a Fanatic


A fanatic: one who redoubles his efforts after he has forgotten his aim.

AuthorGeorge Santayana
WorkESR: “Evaluating the harm from closed source”

Compiling a C program from 20 years ago


As it turns out, compiling a C program [= Vim] from more than 20 years ago is actually a lot easier than getting a Rails app from last year to work.

AuthorPascal Hartig
Work“Building Vim from 1993 today”

D&D Stats Explained with Tomatoes


  • Strength is being able to crush a tomato.
  • Dexterity is being able to dodge a tomato.
  • Constitution is being able to eat a bad tomato.
  • Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
  • Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad.
  • Charisma is being able to sell a tomato based fruit salad.
WorkD&D Reddit “D&D Stats Explained With Tomatoes”

Some people were allocating memory…


Some people were allocating memory before it was cool. These people are called heapsters.

Workvia ZadYree

A Positive Attitude


A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

AuthorHerm Albright
Work“Herm Albright’s ‘Positive Attitude’”

Joke: Thinking Big


A banker, who always advised his son to think big, came home one day to find the boy in the yard with the family dog and a sign, “Dog for Sale, $38,000.” The father smiled and went into the house.

The next day, the sign–and the dog–had vanished. The banker asked his son, “You didn’t get $38,000 for the dog, did you?”

“No,” the boy replied, “but I traded him for two $19,000 cats.”

AuthorHerm Albright
Work“Herm Albright’s ‘Positive Attitude’”

A Productive Day


One of my most productive days was throwing away 1,000 lines of code.

AuthorKen Thompson (Attributed)
WorkKen Thompson Quote

“Ice Ice Baby” Excerpt


Anything less than the best is a felony.

AuthorVanilla Ice
Work“Ice Ice Baby” Song

Learning How to Drum at Age 65


When I was 18, I had been drumming for about 10 years. (They say that if you want to be a good drummer, you better have started by your teenage years, or you'll never make it.)

I got a call from my neighbor. He was about 65 years old.

"Jason," he said, "I made a promise to myself when I turned 60 that I was going to do 3 things. Lose 60 pounds. Stop smoking. And learn to play a musical instrument. So far, I've done 2 of those things."

"Which two?" I asked.

"I hear you're a pretty good drummer. Would you like to teach me how to drum?"

(I didn't know what to say. You can't learn drums when you're SIXTY-FIVE! What do I tell him? Well, maybe it'd be best to let him try it, then he can move on to guitar or piano or something if he doesn't like it.)

I've never seen anyone that age take a hobby as seriously as this guy took drumming. A year later, he was pretty proficient, and I cried a little when, after I left for college, I saw a video of him playing live on stage at a concert back home.

I learned way more from him than he did from me. I figure now that I should have been the one paying him for the lesson.

You ain't dead until you decide you're dead.

AuthorJason Riggs
WorkReply to “What do you think about starting new activities at the age of 36 like music or exercising?” on Quora.com

Linus Torvalds: Indirections


Trust me: every problem in computer science may be solved by an indirection, but those indirections are expensive. Pointer chasing is just about the most expensive thing you can do on modern CPUs.

AuthorLinus Torvalds
WorkPost to the Linux Kernel Mailing List

Backcompat is holding us back!


“Let’s free ourselves from the shackles and do something bold!”

I always cringe when I hear this battle cry. Isn’t that sentiment exactly what set the trajectory for the Perl 6 effort? Maybe it’s just been so long that people have forgotten.

But that is precisely how Perl 6 became such an amazingly long trek: once you remove the constraint of staying compatible, everything is suddenly, potentially, up for reconsideration. Then when you start changing things, you discover that changes in one part of the language also affect several other, remote parts of the language. So it starts with the simple desire to fix a handful of obvious problems in obvious ways… and spirals out as you make changes, and further still as you make changes in response to your changes, ever further and further.

At that point, it is exceedingly likely that the project will fizzle out before it ever comes to any fruition. But even if you have the perseverance, you face an uphill battle: unless your project has the community’s implicit blessing as the successor (as Perl 6 does, due to Larry’s presence), it is likely to simply slip into oblivion… the way Kurila did.

So yes: backcompat is holding us back… the same way that gravity is. It keeps us from floating away untethered.

Note that I’m not saying it doesn’t really hold us back. I’d love to travel to space easily, too! I still await Perl 6, as well.

But what I think, every time someone proposes to throw off the shackles of backcompat and go for it, is that we already have one Perl 6 – we don’t need another.

AuthorAristotle (the Perl enthusiast)
Work“Backcompat is holding us back!”

“You gotta go out there…”


The Wise Janitor: You gotta go out there, believe in the ball, and throw yourself.

AuthorVarious Writers
WorkNot Another Teen Movie



Reportedly, SANE (= “Scannar Access Now Easy”) was called that way in part so one can say “TWAIN is not SANE!”.

AuthorVia an Israeli FOSS Enthusiast.

Open Source Software


Open source software: each person contributes a brick, but ultimately each person receives a house in return.

AuthorBrendan Scott (Attributed)

“I didn’t stop pretending…”


I didn’t stop pretending when I became an adult, it’s just that when I was a kid I was pretending that I fit into the rules and structures of this world. And now that I’m an adult, I pretend that those rules and structures exist.

AuthorZe Frank

New Diet


Hi! I’m Tony Horne, creator of P90X, and I got a brand new program for overweight pop-stars to go from bass to treble in just 90 seconds. It’s called Treble 90X.

AuthorBart Baker
WorkMeghan Trainor - “All About That Bass” PARODY

Your Momma Might Have Told You…


Well, your momma might have told you “Don’t worry about your size” but in this cut-throat industry… well, your momma doesn’t know shit.

AuthorBart Baker
WorkMeghan Trainor - “All About That Bass” PARODY

The kind of movie where…


It's the kind of movie where you would expect The Rock to slide on skateboard, along moving chopper rotors, to pick up a girl that is dodging a lion on a flag pole at the 200th floor of a building that is currently collapsing.

WorkChat on Freenode’s ##programming

Two Things I Hate


There's only two things I hate in this world: people who are intolerant of other people's cultures, and the Dutch.

AuthorMike Myers, and Michael McCullers
WorkAustin Powers in Goldmember

The Greatest threat to Authors and Creative Artists


The greatest threat to authors and creative artists is not piracy — it’s obscurity.

AuthorTim O’Reilly
Work“Piracy is progressive taxation.”

“Tech needs less…”


Tech needs less wizards, ninjas, and rockstars, and way more sociologists.

AuthorNoah Slater

PSD is not my favourite file format.


At this point, I'd like to take a moment to speak to you about the Adobe PSD format. PSD is not a good format. PSD is not even a bad format. Calling it such would be an insult to other bad formats, such as PCX or JPEG. No, PSD is an abysmal format. Having worked on this code for several weeks now, my hate for PSD has grown to a raging fire that burns with the fierce passion of a million suns.

If there are two different ways of doing something, PSD will do both, in different places. It will then make up three more ways no sane human would think of, and do those too. PSD makes inconsistency an art form. Why, for instance, did it suddenly decide that *these* particular chunks should be aligned to four bytes, and that this alignement should *not* be included in the size? Other chunks in other places are either unaligned, or aligned with the alignment included in the size. Here, though, it is not included. Either one of these three behaviours would be fine. A sane format would pick one. PSD, of course, uses all three, and more.

Trying to get data out of a PSD file is like trying to find something in the attic of your eccentric old uncle who died in a freak freshwater shark attack on his 58th birthday. That last detail may not be important for the purposes of the simile, but at this point I am spending a lot of time imagining amusing fates for the people responsible for this Rube Goldberg of a file format.

Earlier, I tried to get a hold of the latest specs for the PSD file format. To do this, I had to apply to them for permission to apply to them to have them consider sending me this sacred tome. This would have involved faxing them a copy of some document or other, probably signed in blood. I can only imagine that they make this process so difficult because they are intensely ashamed of having created this abomination. I was naturally not gullible enough to go through with this procedure, but if I had done so, I would have printed out every single page of the spec, and set them all on fire. Were it within my power, I would gather every single copy of those specs, and launch them on a spaceship directly into the sun.

PSD is not my favourite file format.

AuthorGreg Onufer
WorkXee’s source code

“Stop reinventing wheels…”


Stop reinventing wheels, start building space rockets.

WorkMotto of CPAN

The key to making programs fast


The key to making programs fast is to make them do practically nothing.

AuthorMike Haetel (the original author of GNU grep)
Work“Why GNU grep is fast”

Excerpt from the Windows Vista Licence


“You may not work around any technical limitations in the software”

— Windows Vista licence

WorkWindows Vista EULA

The Attack-Reporting Computer


There was a country which bordered two enemy countries - one to the north and one to the south. So they set up a computer to report if one of the enemy countries was attacking it and placed an army officer in charge of it.

One day the computer raises the alarm and says “Attack! Attack! We are attacked!”. So the officer asks it: “From the north or from the south?” and the computer replies: “Yes.”.

The officer asks it again ”Are we getting attacked from the north or from the south?”. And the computer replies : “Yes.”.

The officer gets angry and asks: “‘Yes’, what?”. The computer thinks for a moment and replies: “Yes, SIR!!”.


Don’t use a big word


Don’t use a big word when a singularly unloquacious and diminutive linguistic expression will satisfactorily accomplish the contemporary necessity.

AuthorUltimate Giggles
WorkFacebook Post

It’s better to have loved


It’s better to have loved and lost than to never have lost at all.

AuthorSamuel Butler (Unsourced)

What My Latest Project Has


My latest personal project has a manual page, unit and integration tests, Debian packaging, a CI project, and a home page. I can install it and run it. It doesn’t yet do anything useful.

AuthorLars Wirzenius
WorkNew project? Start with the scaffolding

The cool thing about Vim


The cool thing about Vim is — you find something interesting with every typo.

WorkFreenode’s #perl conversation

chromatic about testing DSLs


I've never used Cucumber in anger, but I thought it was for creating testcases that could be understood by non-technical clients, so you can concretely discuss features. If you're writing a compiler then all your clients will be programmers, so there's no need for such a thing.

Our clients are the parents, guardians, and teachers of children between the ages of eight and twelve inclusive.

The intent of Cucumber is to make readable testcases, just as the intent of COBOL and AppleScript and visual component programming is to enable non-programmers to create software without having to learn how to program.

WorkComment on “What Testing DSLs Get Wrong”

Bill Raymond about Optimisation


I achieved my fast times by multitudes of 1% reductions.

AuthorBill Raymond
WorkPost to the Freecell Solver mailing list