I don't Believe in Fairies

I don't believe in fairies. Oops! A fairy died.
I don't believe in fairies. Oops! Another fairy died.

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Aphorisms Collection The prefix "God Said"

The prefix "God Said" has the extraordinary logical property of converting any statement that follows it into a true one.

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Aphorisms Collection A Jewish Deduction

A Jewish Deduction

The Bible dictates that "Thou shalt not seethe [= cook] a kid [= young goat] in his mother's milk." To avoid any possibility of breaking that regulation, the Jewish tradition ruled that it also applies to female goats, to mature goats, and to the meat and milk of two completely unrelated goats. It is also forbidden to eat the meat with fresh milk, and it applies to beef and mutten as well (including mixing the milk and meat of two different beasts). Finally, chicken, which are incapable of milk production, may not be eaten along with any mammal's milk either.

We are fortunate that most mathematicians were not Jewish. Otherwise, it would have been forbidden to divide by all numbers between -1 and 1.

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Aphorisms Collection I Used to be Arrogant

I used to be arrogant. Now I'm simply Perfect.

Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Murphy's Law

If the ancient Greeks had invented UNIX, Murphy's Law would have been known as Aristotle's Law.

Had they invented MS-Windows, Murphy's Law would have been known as the Law of Socrates.

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Microsoft's Slogan

Microsoft's slogan used to be "Microsoft - making it all make sense."

Today it should be: "Microsoft - making everything make sense. Ours."

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Linux - Because Software Problems...

Linux - Because Software Problems Should not Cost Money.

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection The American Lottery

The American Lottery - all you need is a dollar and a dream. We will take the dollar, but you can keep the dream.

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection "Shit Happens" - 1

"Shit Happens" according to the religions of the world (Deltas by Shlomi Fish)

Judaism: God knows you will do shit, does nothing to prevent it, but makes you take the blame for it anyways.

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Shit Happens - 2

"Shit Happens" according to the religions of the world
(Deltas by Shlomi Fish)

Judaism: God is all the shit, all the non-shit and all the intermediate demi-shits in between.

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Interpret the Past

Let's interpret the past according to the present and not the present according to the past.

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Computer Science and C Programming

"Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes"

Edsgar W. Dijkstra

"Programming Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about stars."

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Sarah Michelle Gellar's Next Movie

[Discussing the shortage of IT workers as of 1998 on E-mail]

Shlomi Fish to Omer Zak: "Even the NSA doesn't have enough programmers. But it is not likely that they will have more and that's because 'Summerschool at the NSA' may might as well be the name of Sarah Michelle Gellar's next movie."

Omer Zak to Shlomi Fish: "And as opposed to 'I Know What You Did Last Summer' it is going to be scary."

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Objective Philosophy…

Objective philosophy is like a pencil sharpener for one's mind.

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection "The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It" - 1

Oh! I wish you could see the look on his face! Actually, I would have also liked to see the look on his face, but just then I woke up from the dream.

"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It"
Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection "The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It" - 2

Had I not been already insane, I would have long ago driven myself mad.

"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It"
Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection "The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight it" - 3

"Except for that, I planned a political simulator that forecast the two World Wars after I entered all the relevant data until the year 1000 AD."

"Do you have a computer at home?"

"Oh no. At present the program is written on a paper. Don't ask how much time it took me to take out all the bugs from it. But it was great fun!"

"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight it"
Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection "The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight it" - 4

"Likewise." Added the interviewer and said: "Your answers were also very ... unusual."

"Although this description cannot testify on their quality, I take it as a compliment."

"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It"
Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection "The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight it" - 4

The government of the Supporter will finance your travel, and you will be able to leave tomorrow morning. We would like to inform you of the following facts: we cannot assure your safety during this travel. Furthermore, despite your long service at the Organization and your constructive proposal, we cannot say, wholeheartedly or halfheartedly, that we wish to protect your safety. Likewise, we cannot guarantee that we would not take actions that may harm you, indirectly or in a direct manner.

We hope to see you here very soon.

"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It"
Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection "The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight it" - 5

"Okay, I think that I can now return to my country and my village. By the way, how many forbidden books do you have?"

"Oh,", one of them said to me, " their number grows up geometrically. When I checked two weeks ago, their number was 2,148,763. A week ago there were 4,278,109 forbidden writings. Now there must be about 8,600,000."

"You are wrong.", I said to him.

"I beg your pardon?"

"There are now exactly 8,517,559 or 8,517,560 forbidden books."

"Why is it so important?"

"Why, it means that meanwhile you have 82,440 or 82,441 extra books you can read at bedtime if you can't fall asleep!"

"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It"
Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection "The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight it" - 6

"And what is the nature of those activists: Socialists? Communists? Liberals? ... "

"Let's say for simplicity that they are people of my intellect, only that as opposed to me they are sane."

"The Enemy and how I Helped to Fight It"
Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection A more experienced programmer…

A more experienced programmer does not make less bugs. He just realizes what went wrong more quickly.

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Microsoft Notepad

BTW, for an editor with no replace feature (at least not on Windows 95), no regular-expression search and replace, no indentation support, no syntax-highlighting and no macros and scriptability features: MS Notepad is one hell of an editor!

"Wonderous are the ways of Microsoft" Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection WYSIWYT - Documentation Improvement

Suggested Improvements to the Documentation:

The WYSIWYT project was for a long time fascinated by Microsoft's tremendous desire to advance its Internet Explorer web-browser. We saw the fact that they switched the help systems of the upcoming Windows 98, as well as Microsoft Visual C++ 5.0, to HTML a major step in advancing our project.

As a complementary step, some of the chief heads of our project suggested that the Windows' manuals themselves, as well as all of Microsoft's ads, will be designed in HTML and printed after being rendered by IE4. While this project is in the preliminary and planning stages, we expect it to acquire a large momentum soon.

"IRPWUG Announces Project 'WYSIWYT'" Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection If A is A and A is not not-A…

If: 1. A is A.
2. A is not not-A.
does it also imply that:
1. B is B.
2. B is not not-B.

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection I know I'm blond...

I know I'm blond, but I have to colour my hair brown, so people would not think I'm stupid. Because, like the title of the book says: "You've only got Three Seconds".

Actually, since Amazon sent us two books like that, you've only got six seconds.

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection "Knuth is not God!" - 1

Knuth is not God! It took him two days to build the Roman Empire.

Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2049

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection "Knuth is not God!" - 2

Knuth is not God! God has already released TeX version 4.0.

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Taking a Turing Test > Shlomi, > > Have you ever considered taking a Turing test? ;-) > Sure I did. I sat at one point of an IRC channel, and someone tested me. Eventually it was discovered that I am a computer, but it turned out the other side was an Eliza program. Strangely enough, I could not detect that the latter fact was true. Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2465 ]]> IGLU Cabal and the Turing Test

There is no IGLU Cabal! None of them could pass the Turing test. But strangely enough a computer program they coded, could.

Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2465

Shlomi Fish Hackers-IL message No. 2465 "Knuth is not God!" - 3

Knuth is not God! Google is not God! RMS is not God!

God himself said that was the case.

Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2385

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection "Knuth is not God!" - 4

Knuth is not God! Typing "God" into Google and pressing "I'm Feeling Lucky" would not lead you to his homepage.

Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2084 ("The Great WWW-Wisdom Shootout")

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection "Knuth is not God!" - 5

Knuth is not God! Unless you confuse him with Dijkstra.

Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2037

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Patenting the TINIC

(I am patenting issuing a TINIC with anything else but the phrase "There is no IGLU Cabal!". The patent number is kept secret to avoid violating the copyright of its text)

Shlomi Fish in Hackers-IL message No. 2021

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection C++ and Object-Oriented Programming

C++ supports Object-Oriented Programming roughly as much as COBOL supports Functional Programming.

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection If it was not Clear

I hope that if it had not been clear before, it isn't less clear now.

One of Shlomi Fish's Technion Lecturers Hi, Sophie!

Jack: Hi, Sophie!

Sophie: Don't "Hi, Sophie!" me.

Jack: Don't "Don't 'Hi, Sophie!' me" me!

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Crazy Opinions

My opinions may seem crazy but they all make sense. Insane sense, but sense nonetheless.

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Corollary of Godwyn's Law

Shlomi, I'm considering naming a corollary of Godwyn's law after you - any discussion of anything is over when you mention Freecell Solver.

Muli Ben-Yeuhuda on #kernelnewbies (irc.kernelnewbiews.org)

Muli: BTW, I think that any discussion only begins to gain momentum when I mention Freecell Solver.

Shlomi Fish on #offtopic (irc.kernelnewbies.org)

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Keeping an Idea to Yourself

There's no point in keeping an idea to yourself since there's a 10 to 1 chance that somebody already has it and will share it before you.

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection An Apple a Day

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Two apples a day will keep two doctors away.

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection You are banished!

"You are banished! You are banished! You are banished! - hey I'm just kidding!"

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Foreign Languages

[Discussing Foreign Languages Knowledge in the U.S.A]

Ben Collins-Sussman: Tis' true, unlike Europe, the language doesn't change every 100 miles.

Shlomi Fish: And unlike England, the accent does not change every 10 miles.

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection What happened to Christopher Michael Pilato?

What happened to Christopher Michael Pilato?
Is he gone?
Is he gone for good?
Is he gone for better?
Is he gone for best?
Is he gone forever?
Will he return?
Who is Christopher Michael Pilato, anyway?

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Adapted from an IRC Monologue Teaching a Computer to Laugh Can anyone draw a plan as to how to teach a computer to laugh? Say we > define laugh as print "LOL", and define smile as print ":)". How would a > computer know when to print any of those, and when to operate an Eliza > program? Judging by IRC or AOL, randomly would do just fine ;-) Muli Ben-Yehuda in Hackers-IL message No. 3513 ]]> Muli Ben-Yehuda Hackers-IL message No. 3,153 In Philosophy, as much as in software engineering

In Philosophy, as much as in software engineering, you don't get credit for originality. What matters is the final product, not who came up with the idea for each feature first.

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection HURD is Lacking in Developers Unfortunatly as other people have mentioned - the HURD is seriously > lacking in developers, especially driver writers. Linux is to blame for > most of that. KImageShop is seriously lacking in developers, and the GIMP is to blame for most of that. ]]> Shlomi Fish Post to the Linux-IL Mailing List He has a high degree of…

He has a high degree of idealism, a high degree of stubbornness, and an even higher degree of inability to distiniguish between the two.

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection I expected that this patch won't go in so easily

> Thanks, applied as change #22936.

And thank you for applying this patch. But to be honest, I'm a little disappointed. I expected it won't go in so easily and will trigger some discussion here. But there was none. No typo corrections ("you mis-spelled 'floccinaucinihilipilification'"); no flames ("this patch is the worst thing since non-sliced bread"). Nothing.

Someone should do something about it. This direction is not healthy for p5p. Seriously.

Shlomi Fish Post to perl5-porters sleep-fu Right now, I think I'll go to sleep. nite rindolf sleep-fu well mitch: night. Bye all! mitch: there are no PDB entries for me sleeping. mitch: nor do I want any. haha (rindolf-sleep INTERACTIVE|NONINTERACTIVE) mitch: heh mitch: (plug-in-rindolf-sleep ... :) (plug-in-rindolf-sleep 8 HOURS) #gimp GimpNet Contemplating some potential procedural database functions Contributing to #gimp a quickie: are 'adjustments layers' planned to be implemented in gimp? yacoob: at some point in the future, yes. nomis: dare to estimate how far this future is? yacoob: no. yacoob: faster if you contribute. waits for the "oh, I cannot program at all". nomis: faster if he learns how to program, and then contributes. :) rindolf: you wouldn't like me to contribute, believe me ;) #gimp GimpNet Faster, faster! Girly Men

[Commenting in Slashdot after Arnold Schwarzenegger's decision to use open-source software in the California government:]

> This is obviously because Bill Gates and Steve Jobs are girly-men.

Yeah and what are the offerings of the open-source world? Let's see:

1. Linus Torvalds - Looks like a dweeb, ergo is a dweeb. How girly is that? (plus his wife can kick ass better than him) 2. Richard M. Stallman - a hippy. How girly is that? 3. Eric S. Raymond - a nice looking man with a mustache. Baby faced, so he looks a bit girly to me. 4. Larry Wall - a cross between Linus and RMS (i.e: a hippy dweeb) that is even more girly.

So who do we have left? Alan Cox? OK, he's manly. (huge man, huge facial hair, etc.) And all the others are so neglible people don't even know how they look like.

Note: this comment may have been a bit cruel, so sorry. Don't take it too seriously, especially if you're one of the guys I laughed about. I hold you all with the greatest respect. Seriously.

Sincerily yours, Shlomi Fish (who is a quite girly male himself).

- http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=117863&cid=9962843

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection If his programming…

If his programming is anything like his philosophising, he would find ten imaginary bugs in the "Hello World" program.

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Hacker Sees Bug

Hacker sees bug. Hacker fixes bug.

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Tcl is Lisp on Drugs…

Tcl is Lisp on drugs. Using strings instead of S-expressions for closures is Evil with one of those gigantic E's you can find at the beginning of chapters.

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection 95% of Programmers

Linus Torvalds: "95% of Programmers consider themselves in the top 5%".

Shlomi Fish's Corollary: "95% of Programmers consider 95% of the code they did not write, in the bottom 5%."

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Too Girly Linuxgrrl: well The Gilmore Girls is also a drama. Sort of a dramedie, but a serious one. Meh. Too girly for me. Linuxgrrl: you are a girl. Linuxgrrl: let me guess - you're using Debian or Gentoo, right? Gentoo. Linuxgrrl: knew it. Linuxgrrl: no self-respecting tomboy would use Mandrake. #linuxchics OFTC Too Girly C++ is…

C++ is complex, complexifying and complexified.

(With apologies to the Oxford English Dictionary).

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Blogging Memes I'm siicckk of blogging memes. You are this file type. You are that type of cloth. You are this member of the Friends show jkauffman: LOL. "January 4th, 2005: Just took an online quiz and it turns out I'm a Joey type" #perlcafe Freenode Shlomi Fish (rindolf) and jkauffman Becoming Crazy rindolf: you are seriously the craziest fucker I know and I know some crazy ass people haha tyler-: I am crazy. And proud of it. rindolf: you should be haha Ahh man tyler-: being crazy is hard work. I worked all my life to becrazy. Normal people aren't fun. tyler-: "Craziness is not an action. It's a process." heh rindolf: I see You need to tend to your insanity. tyler-: do you want to be crazy? rindolf: that's why I feed my leprechaun at least once aday. tyler-: I can teach you everything I know.Freenode's #perlcafe Freenode Becoming Crazy Discussing living with one's parents on IRC. mofino: I have some money, and am living and am supported by my parents. mofino: there's much less of a taboo against living withone parents after school in Israel, than there is in the States. It's not taboo It's pathetic. Although, sometimes life sucks, and you have no choice. you know, it depends if you're not married and / or not getting any, it doesn't much matter if you live with your folks ender, usually when you have self-respect, you try and you know, make it on your own q[ender]: are you married and not getting any? You could live with your parents. hahaha haha awesome rindolf++ # good burn! Moses-the-Smiley Shlomi Fish Moses the Smiley The First Phrase that needs to be Taught

The first phrase that need to be taught when teaching a new language is how to say "Do you speak English?". The first thing that needs to be taught when teaching a new computer tool is how to exit it.

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Re-inventing the Wheel

He who re-invents the wheel, will understand much better how a wheel works.
He who re-invents the wheel, may actually invent a much better wheel.

Shlomi Fish

He who re-invents the wheel will likely design a square wheel and spend a year trying to figure out why it doesn't work properly.

Nadav Har'El

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Better Alternative

Sometimes you don't need to be familiar with a better alternative to know that something sucks. Take Microsoft Word for example.

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Good Student vs. Bad Student

The difference between a good student and a bad student is that a bad student forgets the material five minutes before the test, while a good student five minutes afterwards.

One of Shlomi Fish's Technion Lecturer Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Real Programmers Don't Write

Real programmers don't write workarounds. They tell their users to upgrade their software.

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Jewish Atheists

Jewish Atheists are the only true Atheists. They beat the hell out of Goy Atheists.

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Chuck Norris Perlsixifies at FreeNode's #perl6 channel. ajs: perhaps Chuck Norris would be a useful addition to the Pugs and Parrot teams. rindolf: If Norris can write, give him a commit bit, and tie him to a keyboard ;) I thought he already had commit Chuck Norris commits with a roundhouse kick into the SVN server's head chuckles daxim: If you can get that to pass the test suite, then more power to you! Chuck *is* the test suite chuck norris does not code, when he sits at a computer, it just does whatever he wants. Kattana: :-) ah, we're easy to amuse Be the test suite, Chuck... BE the test suite. you gotta pass 'make chuck' #perl6 Freenode Chuck Norris Perlsixifies at FreeNode's #perl6 channel. The ex-Member about Rashness

"You know:", The physicist said, "in my opinion since you left the Organization you acted without thinking a lot before you did things. I would define your behavior as deriving from spontaneousness and fickle-mindedness that border on rashness. Do you also think so?"

"Of course!" I answered him, "Except for arrogance, rashness is my only defect!"

Excerpt from "The Enemy and How I Helped to Fight it" By: Shlomi Fish http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/TheEnemy/

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Second Best Solution

The current solution offered by Nvidia may be the second-best solution. But this is one case where the second best solution is not good enough.

Shlomi Fish in http://www.petitiononline.com/nvfoss/petition.html

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection If it isn't in my email…

If it isn't in my email, it doesn't exist.

And if the whole world says one thing and my email says something different, email will conquer.

-- an Israeli Linuxer.

An Israeli Linuxer Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Buffy and Willo Hi CSWookie CSWookie: aren't you also on Freenode? rindolf: What's up. rindolf: I am. CSWookie: I'm fine. CSWookie: you are a Buffy fan right? rindolf: I am. Although really, more a Willow fan. Nothing hotter than red-headed Jewesses that are scared of boys. #gimp GimpNet CSWookie on Willow When Closed-source Bites Hi all! How can I tell Flash in FF to play using artsd? It keeps trying to invoke esd. I'm on Mandriva 2007. the REAL question is, wtf is taking adobe so long with flash 9 :@ rindolf: you might have to set that with firefox' settings. or, do what good people do and use opera. :P slaps vexati0n vexati0n: I'm not using Opera. Period. I don't like it and it's not FOSS. god, it's like opera is anathema just cause people can't look at it's code or something. like YUO are going to tinker with your browser's source code anyway vexati0n: actually, I did that for Firefox. vexati0n: I have a bug pending on bugzilla.mozilla.org. vexati0n: nah, nah, nah, nah well, you wouldn't have to do it with opera because it already works :P vexati0n: I hate the fact that it resizes images. vexati0n: it causes the images to be too large. vexati0n: now tell me how do I fix that. opera resizes images? o.O do you have a page it screws up so i can look? vexati0n: when I press Ctrl++ and Ctrl+- oh. you mean it doesn't just increase the size of the text. vexati0n: take http://www.shlomifish.org/art/ for example. vexati0n: yes. ##linux Freenode When Closed-source bites The Bad Thing about Hardware

The bad thing about hardware is that it sometimes work and sometimes doesn't. The good thing about software is that it's consistent: it always does not work, and it always does not work in exactly the same way.

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Welcome to Web 2.0 Kev: thanks. Kev: did you post it on the French page? not yet Kev: you need to create an account first. But it's easy. It's' a MediaWiki based wiki. arghhhhhhhhhhhh Kev: what's wrong? Maybe MediaWiki wronged him in some way! wiki Just be thankful it isn't a blog! Kev: what's wrong with wikis? And be extra thankful it's not MySpace. Mt. Allison [University] is now paying 5 students to maintain a "life as a Mt. A student" blog #perlcafe Freenode Welcome to Web 2.0 Unflattering Nicknames Well I'm confused and I'm going home Later guys And girl. Young tender girl ... sweet 16 year old girl .... haha mofino: heh. puts away his lynching pedo personality ;) lates gives channel operator status to jagerman has kicked mofino from #perlcafe (Leave already :P) removes channel operator status from jagerman We have found pedobear and he is mofino has joined #perlcafe can you like not do that as I'm picking up my keys? you fagerman fagerman, homofino, what's next? I know - q[tyler-] OTOH, I've been called Slimy Fish lately. rindolf: The *real* Slimy Fish? avar: the one and only 100% original real actual and unmatched Slimy Fish<tm>! I'm the real Slimy, yes I'm the real Slimy, if you're the real Slimy and not just a Slimy. So will the real Slimy please stand up, please stand up... is ashamed for actually knowing those lyrics sing it jew boy:) #perlcafe Freenode Unflattering Nicknames Linux for Christians CSWookie: tried Christian Ubuntu yet? ;-) lol. Oh dear, you weren't joking. goldfish: no, I was. hah "Ubuntu Christian Edition is a free, open source operating system geared towards Christians. It is based on the popular Ubuntu Linux. Ubuntu is a complete Linux-based operating system, freely available with both community and professional support." i might try it soon right now we are using plain dapper at my church moldy: hah is this that funny? :p :) http://christianubuntu.blogspot.com/ hehe For 40 days before Easter, Ubuntu Christian Edition works in text mode only. haha That's brilliant :) There's also a Jewbuntu blog, but it's not as funny as this Christian Ubuntu blog. true That sounds about right -- Jesus might have preferred Jewbuntu since he was a Jew. Then again, Jesus was also a dedicated idealist, so he might have chosen Debian instead of Ubuntu. :-P hehehe why has ubuntu become the distro of puns? has it? there are puns for other distros, too Jesus came from long long ago. I bet he runs debian stable. :) #vim Freenode Ubuntu for Christians More Advanced than CVS On Saturday 31 March 2007 15:26, Yuval Kogman wrote: > > uses_version_control sounds more like lacks_manifest_skip_file which > > should deduct kwalitee IMHO. > > Maybe so, but how else can CPANTS detect that you use the world's most > advanced version control system: CVS? > Are you kidding? CVS is not advanced as: 1. Microsoft Visual SourceSafe - the only sane choice for good data integrity and portability. 2. tarballs/zip-files and patches. This one excels in convenience, and robustness. CVS is a very advanced version control system, however. I do wish that Subversion (which is a VCS that I have to use against my will) was as good as it is. -- Shlomi Fish answering to chromatic on 01-April-2007 ]]> Shlomi Fish "Re: New CPANTS metrics" Larry Wall Facts

Larry Wall can understand the Perl code he wrote last year.
Larry Wall gets the colon.
There are at least 137 Larry Walls in the U.S. but only one that matters.
Larry Wall applies a patch manually quicker than GNU patch.
Larry Wall dreams in Perl.
Larry Wall can program in his sleep.
Larry Wall is lazy, impatient and full of hubris.
Larry Wall has more dollars in the bank than in his Perl code.

-- Larry Wall facts by Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's "Larry Wall Facts" Electrical Engineering Studies in the Technion

Electrical Engineering studies. In the Technion. Been there. Done that. Forgot a lot. Remember too much.

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection "I am Without Faults"

Well, for the record, *I* am without faults, but i'll mention them here anyways:

i really hate scriptaculous
i kicked a dog the other day
i pushed an old lady aside, on my way to get a cup of free coffee
i secretly program in Python
i like to interject and make lists

Jeff Anderson Post to London Perl Mongers "I'm not an actor"

I'm not an actor - I just play one on T.V.

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Discussing vapourware on Freenode's ##freebsd You know for when they finally decide to release that programatic abortion they call perl 6 anonuser: on Christmas. anonuser: don't know which one. anonuser: you can download pugs and play with it. rindolf, The running joke I have with friends is that Duke Nukem Forever (DNF) is being written in Perl6 anonuser: it's an old joke. rindolf, DNF and Perl6 together is an old joke? anonuser: yeah. anonuser: "Perl 6 is the language Duke Nukem Forever will be written in." Well, it's not too old, but it's a meme. rindolf: I'm the guy who's going to port DNF from GNU/Hurd to FreeBSD ##freebsd Freenode Discussing Vapourware Trying to Block Pornography…

Trying to block pornography is like climbing a waterfall and trying to stay dry.

Drew Dexter

Drew Dexter Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection I'm not Straight

I'm not straight - I'm Israeli.

Shlomi Fish (who is not gay)

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Almost Worthy

Hi Omer! Mazal Tov on Chen and yours marriage. It reminds me of a quote from Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre:

"At this period she married, removed with her husband (a clergyman, an excellent man, *almost worthy of such a wife*) to a distant county, and consequently was lost to me."

Well, in your case I can say that both of you are almost worthy of each other. Congrats again!

Shlomi Fish in: http://omerm.livejournal.com/36505.html?thread=43673#t43673

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection It doesn't Mean What You Think it Means You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it > means. It does not mean what I think it means, but it means what *you* think it means. Muahahahah... ]]> Shlomi Fish Post to Linux-elitists Tower of Babel and God the Dwarf

A few weeks ago, I've been to Freenode's #perl, talking to merlyn and other guys, when we got to discuss the Biblical "Tower of Babel Myth". As it turned out, the commonly perceived interpretation was not the one most scholars find as more sensible, which is the one we ended up being taught at Junior High School.

What most people think is something like that:

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< The people spoke to each other in the same language, concentrated in one place, and decided to build a tower high enough so they can reach God. God, a small dwarf who lived in the sky, was afraid of the efforts of these people, because he feared they'll reach him. So he casted an 8th level Spell of Language Fragmentation, caused these people to speak in different tongues, and without being able to understand each other, they ended up spreading across the Earth. God was relieved and returned to his dwarfish deeds, as dwarfs do. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Shlomi Fish in http://shlomif.livejournal.com/11889.html (Based on what his Bible teacher said)

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection One GEGL Per Child on GIMPNet's #gimp channel shlomif * r1712 gegl/ (ChangeLog docs/index-static.html.in): * docs/index-static.html.in: fixed "GEGLs" into "GEGL's" and "GIMPs" into "GIMP's" in the homepage. why is breaking the correct writing a fix? rindolf: ? rindolf: oh i misread :) gives some GEGLs and GIMPs to the mitches. haha :) One GEGL each! There's not enough for everybody. GEGLS FOR THE MASSES We should have an assembly line of GEGLs. Mass-produce them for the ever-growing demand. #gimp GimpNet One GEGL Per Child on GIMPNet's #gimp channel Dream Language in Freenode's #lisp-il rindolf: my brother had AIMA in hard-cover.. and maybe I can get a hold of PAIP s/had/has/; yays for perl adeht: what did perl do? <adeht> s/had/has/; adeht: it's actually from sed and ed before that. I know, but I'm using perl syntax :) adeht: now write it in Lisp. heh. in Lisp you wouldn't use a regex for this kind of dumb substitution.. though you could rindolf: a nice way of writing CL code is to imagine your dream language for expressing that particular problem, and then realizing it :) You probably wouldn't use a regex in Python either. adeht: I see. adeht: I'm not going to implement Perl in Common Lisp. :-D heh #lisp-il Freenode Dream Language in Freenode's #lisp-il Why Shlomi Fish Dislikes Lisp This reminds me of Paul Graham's articles, in which he claims that LISP > programmers are better. But why is it so (whether or not you agree to > the conclusion)? There are at least two opposite reasons: 1. Because > programmers that learned LISP become better 2. Because good programmers > prefer LISP when they come to know it. No. 1 is true, naturally. No. 2 is not true - I know LISP but I prefer Perl. Other like Python, etc. The reasons I don't prefer LISP are: 1. The standards of Common LISP and Scheme don't define anything practical. 2. LISP is at the moment incredibly verbose. 3. As Larry Wall noted, all LISP code comes in parenthesis and so it all looks the same. (Perl is the exact opposite in this regard). 4. I cannot make heads nor tails of serious LISP code. Many LISPers create so many macros and use them along with regular LISP code, so you keep having to refer to the previous definitions, and make a lot of research to get you started. SICP Scheme is easy and fun. But serious LISP code can take too much time to understand. OTOH, recently I had little problem reading the source code of other Perl programmers, and extending it or fixing bugs. (likewise for Python). ]]> Shlomi Fish Post to Linux-IL We don't Know His Cellphone

We don't know his cellphone number, and even if we did, we would tell you that we didn't know it.

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Engrew Sentence #1

plis tak mi auot from yuor mail list.

-- This Engrew sentence contains very few errors. -- From a message sent to Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection What do you mean?

What do you mean by "WDYM"?

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Windows-minus-minus

Chen Shapira: spent 5 hours yesterday trying to get Windows to print on my new wireless printer. It still doesn't work. On Ubuntu it worked after few minutes.

Shlomi Fish: Heh. Linux++ .

Chen Shapira: I'd do Windows-- , but this may result in an integer underflow.

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection "Use qmail Instead" Excerpt #1

A few days ago I joined #mandriva on Freenode trying to get to the bottom of a problem I have with KMail at work, where I cannot start KAddressBook from inside it. I asked my question and soon afterwards received:

* One Thunderbird recommendation.
* Two Evolution recommendations.
* One Sylpheed Claws recommendation.
* One GMail recommendation.

The problem is that I wasn't interested to learn about alternative E-mail clients, and just wanted to get my problem solved. And in GMail's case it was completely out of the question due to my work's constraints.

-- Shlomi Fish in -- http://www.shlomifish.org/philosophy/computers/web/use-qmail-instead/

Shlomi Fish The "Use qmail instead" Syndrome RTFM vs. JATFM

RTFM vs. JATFM --------------

I recently had to figure out how to do something with wget: get everything below a directory on the web-server, without following links to outside it. So I logged in to FreeNode's #debian channel, where there are many knowledgable people to ask it. The first answer I got was "RTFM". So, I read the wget man page, but could not find it there. Eventually, after telling people that it would be faster to give an answer, I got a reply ( add the -np -r flags). But this has been the last straw.

I composed my own acronym. Just like RTFM is "Read the Fabulous Manual" and STFW is "Search the Fabulous Web", then JATFM is "Just Answer the Fabulous Man". It means that it's usually faster to answer someone's question than to ask him to RTFM, which is just going to annoy him. I think the RTFM mantra has done a lot of damage in the UNIX/Linux world, and I hope JATFMing would prove to be a more healthy ideology.

-- Shlomi Fish in -- http://www.advogato.org/person/shlomif/diary.html?start=215

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection I have to do TWAIN…

A: I'm busy right now - I have to do TWAIN.

B: Do Shania Twain?

C: Oh, I'd love to do Shania Twain.

-- Adapted from a conversation on Freenode's #perl

Shlomi Fish Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Fight for Perl has joined #soc-help I want to FIGHT FOR PERL IN GSOC ! I feel the power of metal in my veins perl is flowing in my blood ! What perl Armies can I join this YEAR ? spx2: a lot :) ambs: Hail BRETHREN ! where are the armies ??? I want to ENGAGE and start preparing my weapons ! ambs: what projects are this year ? spx2: ideas at http://www.perlfoundation.org/perl5/index.cgi?gsoc2008_projects I will fight this year in the PERL battle ! spx2: Python is for the WEAK and TIMID! rindolf: TOTALLY ! examines the war grounds #soc-help MAGNet Fight for Perl Perl Saints as an Alternative to Perl Heroes So, yeah... there are no gods, only heroes. And anyone can become > a hero. And even heroes are just regular people. > I don't suppose we should propose that as an alternative to Perl Gods, there should at least be Perl Saints: http://www.stallman.org/saint.html Of course, I'm not sure what being a Perl saint would imply. Using nothing but Perl? (Including not C in which perl 5 is written?) Oh well. Not that I mind the Perl Gods stereotype stuff. Regards, Shlomi Fish (a Perl saint^W hero wannabe, but definitely not a Perl God) -- ]]> Shlomi Fish Post to to San-Fransisco Perl Mongers Mailing List What does being a Perl Saint Implies > > Of course, I'm not sure what being a Perl saint would imply. > > > > It would imply having been killed for your faith in Perl. > > Does that make Randal the Spanish Inquisition? No one expects the Randal Schwartz condition ;) -- Shlomi Fish, frosty, Duane Obrien and David Fetter in: --http://mail.pm.org/pipermail/sanfrancisco-pm/2008-April/001650.html ]]> San-Fransisco Perl Mongers Randal Schwartz Noise Band > > > Of course, I'm not sure what being a Perl saint would imply. > > > > > > It would imply having been killed for your faith in Perl. > > > > Does that make Randal the Spanish Inquisition? > > No one expects the Randal Schwartz condition ;) I almost feel honor bound now to start a noise band called The Randal Schwartz Condition. I could shout his rants into a microphone while the rest of the band flogged a newbie live on stage. -- Duane Obrien in: -- http://mail.pm.org/pipermail/sanfrancisco-pm/2008-April/001651.html ]]> San-Fransisco Perl Mongers Randal Schwartz Condition >>>> "Duane" == Duane Obrien writes: Duane> Alternately, The Randal Schwartz Condition is now accepting bookings Duane> for birthdays, weddings, religious ceremonies of any kind, or occasions Duane> where your consulting company throws a big party at some conference. Duane> Email me off-list for details on how to get advance copies of our demo Duane> "I'm The Real Tim Toady" I'm already thinking of words to the "tune" of "I'm the real Slim Shady". Damn you. :) -- Duane Obrien and Randal L. Schwartz -- http://mail.pm.org/pipermail/sanfrancisco-pm/2008-April/001655.html ]]> Godwin's Law > In that case, lacking good links or a definitive reference text, I'll have > > to ignore your comment earlier. > > > > I hope it's not much of a flamewar so far, but it sure seems to have > > escalated into a minor one. "You are a Nazi!" > > ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin's_law ) - oops! > > Please. The Nazi's were socialists. I'm a little to the right of > Attila the Hun. > And I thought Attila was a Humanitarian. -- Shlomi Fish, Guy Hulbert and Shlomi Fish in: -- http://www.nntp.perl.org/group/perl.module-authors/2008/04/msg6432.html ]]> Shlomi Fish and Guy Hulbert Post to the Perl module-authors mailing list Pedantic People

I often wonder why I hang out with so many people who are so pedantic. And then I remember - because they are so pedantic.

-- an Israeli Perl Monger

Israeli Perl Monger Shlomi Fish's Aphorisms Collection Variable Naming on #not-##freebsd p13: do you write scripts? rindolf, init scripts and sys maintenance scripts in csh sh and bash but i suck haha i made them SO unreadable on purpose too my var names for example i would use random quotes from coworkers like "wereoutofcoffee" or "ihatemyjob" etc etc i hate people lik eyou p13 trashguy, hahaha atleast the variabls are obvious and not mistaken for functions and shit i stringly recommend to call variables only: var1, var2, var3 ... var999 but for purpose of clarity, after var999 continue with varB1, varB2,... elgrande: <elgrande> i stringly recommend to call variables only: var1, var2, var3 ... var999 - excellent advice. elgrande: LOL. rindolf: and of course: cls1, func1, meth1, if1 so if var3 > var2 then var1 = cls3->meth2 endif elgrande: heh. obj997 everyone is understand this! elgrande: I'll probably make a fortune cookie out of it. obj997 bevahes like this, because it implements if371 ^^ elgrande: you're still going. #not-##freebsd Freenode Variable Naming Monty Python on Computer Interfaces

<monty-python>

A: You Linux kids are so lucky. When we were using Windows 95 and Windows 3.11 it kept getting stuck and we lost all our data. We had to reboot it.

B: You used Windows 95! Lucky Bastard! When I was your age, we used DOS on CGA screens, and we were lucky if we had 4 colors, much less a true windowing environment.

C: You had DOS with graphics? Lucky bastard! When I was your age, I used VT-100 terminals connected to a VAX. 128 characters should be enough for everybody?

D: Visual Terminals? When I was your age, we used teletypes on a PDP-11: the computer printed on paper - very slowly. Can you imagine cat'ing a really long document?

E: Teletypes were heaven compared to the punch cards that I was using. Imagine going over to the computer with a large amount of punch cards and then dropping them all.

F: Punch cards! What is this talk about punch cards? We inputted machine code direclty using buttons and LEDs.

G: And all we had were NAND gates!

</monty-python>

Shlomi Fish Email Message #python on Incrementing Hi all. <all> Hi rindolf scorchsaber: heh. scorchsaber++ Or in Python: scorchsaber+=1 ?? rillo: Python does not have a ++ operator. rindolf: Oh, but it does have a + operator. ah. i'm new to python so i diddnt know A few days ago, it was suggested that I implement ++ using the + operator. And I did so. :) So, really, a++; is valid in Python, and it may even increment a by one. If somebody was crazy, anyhow, and if a was mutable. shall i move back to perl to get the ++ ? rillo: no, use COBOL instead. ADD 1 TO COBOL GIVING COBOL :( eww, magic numbers! "COBOL is the old Java" ADD ONE TO COBOL GIVING COBOL verte: heh. verte: 1 is not a magic number. ASSIGN 1 to ONE 0, 1, infinity. verte: LOL. verte++ COMPUTE COBOL = COBOL + 1 #python Freenode On Incrementing I Met a Guy in the Bar

I met a guy in the bar, talked to her and she gave me her phone number.

Shlomi Fish Aphorisms Collection BASIC, Pugs and After Death TimToady: so BASIC was your first language? no, English was my first language. :) TimToady: I started with XT ROM BASIC, but I suppose it was something like Perl 5 was to Perl 4 for your BASIC. BASIC has greatly evolved since Dartmouth BASIC. TimToady: ah. TimToady: not Chomsky's Universal language? feh rindolf: what's the name of the Parrot implementation of Intercal? 21:04 <@TimToady> we have a test suite right now because of pugs Very, very important. diakopter: I don't know. Juerd: yes, very. Juerd: anyway, I expect that at every given time all tests will pass. Well, there are probably bad tests too :) Given the volume of the suite, and that pugs has never been able to even parse everything :0 :) testrot accounts for many of those :) TimToady: testrot... TimToady++ How long does it take Pugs to run the entire Pugs test suite? but a number of them were misunderstandings at the time Because Pugs is kinda slow. defudge should be renamed Passover... used to run on my old laptop in about 25 minutes TimToady: or cute bugs. I mean implementation details. TimToady: kinda long. audreyt's dual core used to run them in 10 minutes I haven't tried on my new laptop, since I haven't installed the lates ghc yet first make it run, then make it run right, then make it run fast TimToady: another problem with Pugs is that it kept requiring the latest ghc. Did pugs drive GHC development perhaps? :D shrug, you shouldn't pick on a software project when it's down Juerd: yes, I believe some of that happened too TimToady: "After Death - say holy." TimToady: it's a Hebrew phrase. Actually, I'm just about out of After Death--I've got a bottle of Mega Death now too. just had some on my potatoes, yum. sounds hot of the first six ingredients, five of them are hot. Red habanero pods, cayenne chilies, white vinegar, natural pepper flavor, ancho chilies, chipotle chilies, molasses, guava nectar, fresh ginger, salt, spices. 'bout 550,000 scovilles After Death is only about 500k Tabasco is only about 35k tabasco i'm calibrated on -- now i can (only) imagine so roughly 15 times hotter 'add 1/15 drop per 100 potatoes' I generally only use it about one "plop" at a time unless I really want a large endorphin kick TimToady: LOL. enjoy yr clear sinuses TimToady+=5 "After Death" Reminds me of that screensaver. "After Hours" After Dark with the flying toasters? vixey: yes, that's the one. Also had a nice Looney Tunes one. "I now proclaim this computer in the name of Mars!" (Marvin the Martian)++ they were cool I recall something about wine being able to run Windows screensavers. "where's the kaboom? there was meant to be a case-shattering kaboom." XScreenSaver is a pre-Autoconf hell from what I understood. #perl6 Freenode BASIC, Pugs and "After Death" On the Internet

Two female dogs talking about modern-life:

Jasmine: It's so cool! On the Internet, no one knows you're a dog!

Daisy: Yeah, but everyone can tell right away that you're a bitch!

Shlomi Fish Aphorisms Collection #perl6 about Lisp Mentality and Usability rindolf: what is Park/Spark? pmurias: http://www.shlomifish.org/open-source/projects/Park-Lisp/ pmurias: it's still incomplete. And I haven't updated it. rindolf: if you like lisp/perl6 projects you might consider helping with a common lisp elf backend pmurias: Common Lisp. pmurias: thing is I think both CL and Scheme suck. I like Lisp as a concept. Arc is nice, but has too many implementation problems. And missing features. Arc is not nice I want to give a presentation to the Perl Mongers about "Foreign Languages: Lisp" vixey: I like it. Though I hate that "(not)" has become "(no)" it's so non-English. it's just TCL with horrible syntax vixey: but it's missing a lot of exciting features. Which PG deemed as unnecessary. Doesn't look like the 100-years language to me. Which is why - Spark! why not just write an s-expression p6 dialect? pmurias: could be. pmurias: it's another approach. But some things make sense in Lisp and not in p6. For example, Perl does not like to use + for string or list concat. While Python does and it seems to be OK in Arc too. And in CL you have (concatenate) (yuck!). (((hehe))) + for strings sucks seconded. rindolf: If you don't like CONCATENATE you can just rename it vixey: yeah. vixey: but I'd rather not rename concatenate because then people won't understand my code. vixey: as TimToady said people hate abstractions. yes they will rindolf They want things to work out of the box. A program is many many totally newly defined procedures just renaming one thing is nothing in the context of a big program vixey: "let's spend 3 days creating a new language, and 1 day implementing the solution with it." if it would take 10 days without the new language, it's worth it TimToady: yeah. TimToady: but this is the CL mentality. no it's not Sometimes you can take 1 day to write an API. CL is too diverse you cannot generalize like that vixey: I meant a common idiom there. I think I'll /quit and do something productive. Like work on Spark. another quote: how to write any computer program in two easy stages: Design and implement the programming language which would be best for solving the problem. Write the program in the language you’ve just implemented. vixey: or just use Perl which is the best for everything. heh the second step is obvious--the best language for the job is one that does the job on a null input notes that vixey's algorithm is somewhat recursive "All rules of thumb are false, including this one." rindolf: when you feel like writing Common Lisp backends, contact me or mncharity ;) #perl6 Freenode Lisp Dialects (Scheme, Common Lisp, Arc, Spark) Mentality and Usability kilmo about the NSA

[Discussing the shortage of IT workers as of 1998 on E-mail]

Shlomi Fish to Omer Zak: "Even the NSA doesn't have enough programmers. But it is not likely that they will have more and that's because 'Summerschool at the NSA' may might as well be the name of Sarah Michelle Gellar's next movie."

Omer Zak to Shlomi Fish: "And as opposed to 'I Know What You Did Last Summer' it is going to be scary."

Kilmo: why would you like to make fun 'bout the crypto world ? ;) The NSA does know what you did last summer. And by putting this on the web, they know that you know.

Which may lead to interesting philosophical issues. BTW, in a conference I was attending we were given a sticker saying: "NSA - free email backup".

They still have some issue with the retrieval procedures, but besides of that - they are quite a trusted service.

Shlomi Fish: In my case, I think every random joe can learn a lot about me. Even if he's not in Google or the NSA or whatever.

Kilmo: Yep. but this is a world-wide service that they offer. (Along with several cooperations, like MI5/6).

Shlomi Fish and Kilmo Aphorisms Collection What are you Working on?

Ran Eilam To Shlomi Fish: so what are you working on? Working on a new wiki about unit testing fortunes in freecell?

Ran Eilam Jabber Conversation My blog post got chromatic'd

Well, despite the fact that I hardly publicised my last essay about the "Closed Books", it has been chromatic'd. Rumours are that all the bloggers whose blog posts/essays were deprecated on chromatic's blog are now rich, famous and the object of the affection of many attractive members of the appropriate sex. Memo to self: prepare a limited edition T-shirt: "My blog post was chromatic'd. I pwn you as a blogger."

Shlomi Fish "Dealing with Approval Addiction (and Implied Stress Periods) Birth of an Editor

Richard M. Stallman (RMS) decides to release his brand-new editor, "Emacs" on the CPAN with its first version 29.999.99. In order to package it, he invokes the trusty ol' module-starter (see http://search.cpan.org/dist/Module-Starter/ ) which creates a skeleton of a CPAN distribution for him.

He fills in the skeleton with the actual code of Emacs, types "perl Build.PL", and "./Build test" and makes sure all the tests pass. Then he types "./Build config --gui" and gets a nice GUI to configure the various parameters of the Module meta-data.[M-B-Data]

In the GUI, Richard goes to the Trove categorisation tab, and selects categories. This is done in a similar way to Freshmeat's project categorisation dialog (a list of options to the left, with selected options to the right and arrows to move them left or right, while allowing multiple select options.). He chooses such categories as "Programming Language :: Lisp", and "Intended Audience :: Emacs Users", "Operating System :: GNU", and "Topic :: Editors". (Note: I believe the category list should be fetched using a public web-service to keep them up-to-date.)

Shlomi Fish Functional Spec for the CPAN Classification Proposal Second Birth of an Editor

After several weeks of having the editor on CPAN, Richard has received many patches, and wrote a lot of code on his own. Now Emacs is not only an editor but a calendar tool, an Eliza program, a web browser, a mail user agent and many other things.

So in order to release version 30.000.00 he needs to update the categorisation. He runs ./Build config --gui again, and adds more categories. However, he enters too many categories (because Emacs now does them all), and the GUI refuses to save the file because it will overflow the limit that the web-service specified the CPAN classification services allow to handle. So Richard keeps only the important categories, adds more tags, and saves it.

He then tests the distribution again, and uploads the new distribution to the CPAN.

Shlomi Fish Functional Spec for the CPAN Classification Proposal Microsoft Editing Macros

Bill Gates, CEO of Microsoft decides to use Richard Stallman's Emacs as the basis of his company's state-of-the-art product Microsoft Editing Macros™ Enterprise Edition XP .NET Professional. However since MS Editing Macros™ is a commercial, proprietary program which he intends to sell at computer stores, Bill is not going to upload it to the CPAN. He builds upon Emacs, sends patches to Richard and learns a lot about it.

When he's finished building Microsoft Editing Macros™ he surfs to the Emacs homepage on CPAN, and adds some categories and tags of his own.

Eventually, enough people like Bill tag and categorise Emacs, and it gains more classification.

Shlomi Fish Functional Spec for the CPAN Classification Proposal Looking Back at Your Old Habits "Who's the idiot that wrote this code?" That's what many people say when looking at their old code. "I can't believe I used to listen to this crap" that's what people say when they look back at their old music collection jkauffman: I don't usually. jkauffman: I am however, a bit ashamed of some of the shows I liked when I was younger. jkauffman: they seem a bit cheesy now. yes, you're onto such better things now that you can fully appreciate the gilmore girls jkauffman: you can never really appreciate The Gilmore Girls until you've watched it in the original Klingon. #perlcafe Freenode Looking Back at Your Old Habits Really Extreme Programming cl0ud: what's up? rindolf: just getting ready for work on this drizzly day rindolf: and feeling great rindolf: you? cl0ud: sending an email to the Extreme Programming mailing list. xtreme rindolf: tell them that in order to be truly extreme, they need to ditch their pair-programming buddy system and start programming with spent ammunition and unexploded shells ik: heh. Extremist Programming haha Ik-stremist Programming. :o What about Psycho Coding? :) PSYCoder <--- cool name for an editor :) Psychaudit <- memory tester Neuraudit Hahah #perlcafe Freenode Really Extreme Programming "You should shoot me"

Larry: final exams are on Tuesday and through Friday, so you won't see me for a while, or if you do - then you should shoot me.

Shlomi: I Will shoot you with my cross-intertubes-laser-gun.

Larry: HAHAHA.

Shlomi: Which I don't have.

Larry: Which network topology will you implement, for better accuracy ?

Shlomi: I'll just depend on the standard TCP/IP routing. Overlay the laser on top of the TCP packets.

Shlomi Fish IM Chat with Larry God gave us…

God gave us two eyes and ten fingers so we will type five times as much as we read.

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Aphorisms Collection Only wimps complain about bad code

Only wimps complain about bad code. Real men clean it up.

Shlomi Fish

Shlomi Fish Aphorisms Collection Wikipedia has…

Wikipedia has a page about everything including the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kitchen_sink .

Shlomi Fish Aphorisms Collection Hack, hack, hack…

shlomif: hack, hack, hack ; save ; make ; make test; commit. And start over.

mrjink:hack, hack, hack; save; make; swear; fix typos; save; make; make test; swear some more; hack some more; save; make; make test; cheer; commit.

meep: hack, make, test, segfault, oh noes, revert to previous revision

Shlomi Fish and Others On Plurk. Threat vs. Warning

Well, it's not a threat - it's a warning, and he won't be harmed much by acting against my advice. A threat is something like "Stop posting political posts or I will burn your house, rape your wife and daughters, banish you to the middle of Antarctica, convert all your Perl code to PHP, and then post it on thedailywtf.com."

Regarding what you say that "no one cares if you unsubscribe", then this reminds me of what Fred Brooks says in "The Mythical Man-Month": "How does a project becomes late? One day at a time.". If you're not careful, you might lose a large percent of your blog's readership, one subscriber at a time.

Shlomi Fish use.perl.org comment Take that to a different channel thank you nothingmuch, i want to chat with you on kiokudb Hi metaperl_work you should chat with him on #kiokudb then metaperl_work: you mean "about kiokudb" rindolf, hi! long time no see metaperl_work: yes. we are talking in #kiokudb confound metaperl_work: what have you been up to? no, this is #moose! confound, "we" = me and yuval rindolf, well.... keeping Seamstress up to date metaperl_work: yuval and I. In related news: i'm chatting on my mobile phone Moose is saving my life... SUPER handy jhannah, what type of mobile phone? metaperl_work: what is Seamstress? Seamstress is really nothing anyway it's on cpan metaperl_work: please take that question to #jhannah_phones jhannah++ jhannah: which network, there doesnt seem to be anyone there i think buffy might be a closet lesbian HAS TO KNOW!!!! nothingmuch: duh stevan: i think you kinda missed the joke =P take that to #closet-lesbian-vampire-slayers i get jokes stevan: LOL. stevan++ jhannah++ stevan: i have hundreds of invisible groupies in dozens of #jhannah_* channels. they are well trained to be quiet when interlopers lope in #moose MAGNet Take that to a different channel Do you speak French? uwd: what's up? BTW, how has English become the official language of Singapore? Viral marketing singapore has four official languages. one national one. also, politics. also, see wikipedia. it knows all [citation needed] rindolf: it's a byproduct of the Richard Nixon / Henry Ford's campaign for chief taxonomist of western Nepal http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Languages_of_Singapore (a coveted position) taxonomist! Wikpedia has an article about everything including the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kitchen_sink They are in charge of taxis! disambiguation pages make me sad :( I like the disambiguity! ik: heh i like disambiguation pages. they say "this thing you seek... it is not only one thing, you see? no, no, mon ami, this world, she is too big to contain only one of everything, eh?" :D you talk like dee what. wat That message you said in French could have been typed by dee! except it was you. you doubleyou dee it was in English, actually. okay But it had some French in it ! Two words! Four, if you count "no". Twice. Yes, it sounded French to me too. no is not french non is. oui! elle n'a pas dit non In any case saying "She" of the world is also a Frenchism. Je ne sais pas. But it's not french Parlez vous anglais? it is also a generic Euroism. oui England is Europe too :( so not that French. Je m'appelle Pierre pkrumins: heh. Je suis 24 ans! Gods, the number of times I got contradicted at school for knowing that England was in Europe Je h'abite Riga Altreus: dude, given that was mostly English, i don't see why the sadface. Tu s'appelle Peteris it's no wonder stupid people make me violent Je'abite pkrumins: not en Riga? maybe or de Riga? uwd: hmm J'abite, non? I seem to sadface a lot more than is necessary due to how I'm never actually sad Oui. rindolf: habite Je monger a macdo. il y a un h Je travailler on ordinator a programmator. Oui. en! probably au tbh but a l' because vowel l'ordinator? And travaille is the first-person present participle And -eur But mostly right! why -eur? pats pkrumins on the back ordinateur tehe. jadone chats I wonder if a pink one is an ordinateuse (or was it chiens) it's so much easier to say she and mon ami and have people think it's french than actually speak french... i think chats j'adore chats jaim a perl chat jain n'est pas un mot *jaim j'aime aussi jadone n'est pas un mot hmm pawings all i can say pkrumins: chien is a dog. I think. Ues, chien is dog *Yes chat chatte for feminine http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/cat #perl-cats Freenode How good is your French? What does IDK stand for?

What does "IDK" stand for? I don't know.

Shlomi Fish Aphorisms Collection PHP Error Debug List

PHP error debug list:

1) did you use the correct argument order? if you're a good programmer, use the *reverse* from what you think it is. see if it works. no? you're not a good programmer, or you learned php's braindeadness and can go on to step 2).

2) did you think about your code? if so, don't. php will do it for you so you can do mindbogglingly stupid stuff, such as not escape the data that goes into your sql queries.

Dazjorz

Dazjorz MSN Conversation between Dazjorz and Shlomi Fish More Geek Facts about Chuck Norris rindolf: yes, I played with Squeak a little and yes I'd like a vim clone written in perl. Why isn't there one already, then? (A vim clone in Perl) good question. there's one in javascript :) Su-Shee: actually , it's a vi clone. Writing a vi clone is much easier than writing a vim clone. Just like writing a Scheme clone is much easier than writing a Perl 6 implementation. Unless you're Chuck Norris. rindolf: darn.. he already wrote a vim in perl6? no, he scared K&R into writing it ;-) Su-Shee: Chuck Norris is the ghost author of the entire Debian GNU/Linux distribution. Su-Shee: and he wrote it in 24 hours, while taking snack breaks. rindolf: yes, I know - he published slackware under the pseudonym patrick volkerding... Chuck Norris read the entire Wikipedia. Twice. the second time includes fixing all its errors but he didn't commmit his changes, it seems moritz_: heh. LOL. Chuck Norris doesn't commit changes, the changes commit for him :) Code is too scared of Chuck to be wrong. It is generated right in the first time. Bugs are too afraid to reproduce on Chuck Norris' computer. .o(I see a chuck norris release on the horizon... ;) Su-Shee: :-) we could ask chuck norris if he's willing to promote the star release.. ;)) (which probably kill the entire internet due to laughter.. :) Perl 6 - A Chuck Norris like language Chuck Norris has actually been using Perl 6 since 1987, and has been waiting for Larry to play catch-up. :) dukeleto: LOL. Perl 6 - Kicks ass like Chuck. rakudo - chuck's choice ;) well, camelia and chuck norris go well together. ;) OK. Of course everybody know Chuck Norris is a real programmer. He designs machines by combining individual atoms. Using his thought. Atoms obey Chuck Norris. rindolf: you obviously have been starved and deprived of super hero comics in your childhood :) #perl6 Freenode What you could assume was true about Chuck Norris Give me ASCII

Give me ASCII or give me deaþ!

Shlomi Fish Aphorisms Collection Technion Ways

In the Technion, there are many ways to get from one place to the other, but they are all the same length.

Shlomi Fish Aphorisms Collection Sjors the Awayer Hi Sjors the Awayer! Hi Shlomi the, uh Onliner! :P I am not an Awayer! I am a free man. Onlinerer, heh. Touche. ;) or is Awayer some kind of Hebrew word? No, it's not. It's pig-English for someone who is Away. We don't have a "w" sound in modern Hebrew (replaced by "v" a-la-German) but most Israelis have no problems pronouncing it. I have problems pronouncing th (maths) and dh (there). Even though they did exist in Ancient Hebrew. many Dutch people have problems saying th too earth they say it eart Ah. I tink I say it ers Heh. You seem to be in a funny mood too. I tink you are dere hehe How's school? I've been feeling great lately :) But OTOH you're a funny guy, anyway. I think Zuu from ##programming is the comedian king of Denmark. haha J/K. I know many Israelis who are funnier than me IRL. Or maybe also online. I know many Dutch people funnier than me Ah. IRL? And online, I think Meh I've been playing openttd but those damn trains are SO STUBBORN Well, no offence, but you're not the funniest person online. it's annoying me I've known. Sometimes trolls can be funny. Larry Wall seems a bit less funny on IRC than on Usenet or E-mail. But he's not always funny. IRL, he's really funny. He gives funny presentations. I don't have the place in ottd to *force* them to do the right thing, but they do stuff like making 90 degree corners, stopping three other trains in their tracks, just because it's like a millisecond shorter than the other route Though I think they always get more serious towards the end. hm :) Is it a commercial game? OpenTTD? I once gave a lightning talk about Template Toolkit and people laughed at the same slide twice , because I gave it twice due to a presentation equipment. Ah. The Open says everything. yep :) I once gave a lightning talk about Template Toolkit and people laughed at the same slide twice , because I gave it twice due to a presentation equipment SNAFU*. Gotta love Ctrl+Up. Gotta love Ctrl+Up. I think we've been there, though. hehe Old joke. Didn't know it I told you about it a long time ago. It was you I think. And then we did a session of two messages in a row. ETOOMUCHINFORMATION ETOOLITTLEKNOWLEDGE ETOOHARDTOREADACRONYMS ah :P EPLEASEUSESOMESPACES EIWISHWEWEREUSINGSEXPRS ENOSPACEBARDETECTED? You know what S-exprsessions are, right? Indeed. No space bar. Gotta press alt+032 Or something. hmm I don't have a numeric keypad Ah. Mac O Sucks. Mac O Sucky Computers. No offence, I hope. MUCH OFFENSE TAKEN! Hands off my Mac! ;) It's mine! All mine! My precioussssssssssss. I'll make a fortune out of this conversation, I think. #sjors-and-rindolf MSN Messnenger Sjors the Awayer Reflections on Trusting Documentation Quick git question, perhaps someone knows the answer: I have a file in my git tree (locally and in the repository), but I want git to ignore the file completely, i.e. git is not to touch the file on the filesystem by updating it or merging local changes into the repostiroy whoppix: you can use .gitignore I think rindolf, hmm, good idea, thanks. that was slow. rindolf, hm, I think git update-index --assume-unchanged is what I need. .gitignore is only for untracked files whoppix: OK, have no clue what that is. Git is so complicated. And so opaque rindolf, me neither, but the doc tells me to use that. whoppix: can you believe the docs? The docs may be lying. Don't trust the docs. Don't trust anything. You're all alone. It's you against the machine. When in doubt, use the source code. Not some sissy documentation. right I'll have some of what you've been smoking whoppix: I'm 100% clean. #perlcafe Freenode Reflections on trusting documentation Emulating cats on #jquery has joined #jquery removes ruby_on_tails off his tail and meows. throws his paws at rindolf and scratches his face Fight! hisses at ruby_on_tails curves his back. is not a cat, he thinks, so why does he says that? On the Internet, no one knows you're a cat. deep-scratches rindolf's ass Is there a word for a female cat. ruby_on_tails: truce? tiger b-) B-) ruby_on_tails: all felines are friends. We must be united against our common enemy. Dogs or whatever. unites all breeds of cats against rindolf ruby_on_tails: I am not the cats' no. 1 enemy. you are :P ruby_on_tails: heh. lol ruby_on_tails: :-) "Cats of the world - unite!" they are already united Andy-: ajax form submission ruby_on_tails++ # Despite being a cat god in an awfully bad mood. :P "Ceiling cat is watching you." ruby_on_tails: I totally dig the lolcat web-cartoons. I derive a sick pleasure from them. I just watch tom n jerry Well, not really sick. ruby_on_tails: tom is kinda stupid. He's the cat, right? yea but he's got determination till the end :> There's also Rita and Runt (sp?) in Animaniacs. Rita is a smart cat. #jquery Freenode Felines of the world - unite! English Spelling

English spelling aims to be consistent. Publicly and methodically.

Shlomi Fish Aphorisms Collection Virtual Money BTW, have you read my stories yet? I haven't Ah. "If you read my stories, I'll give you 1,000,000 virtual dollars." Causing me to have a lot of extra virtual time! And be virtually rich. And then you can virtually bribe virtual politicians. And buy a lot of virtual goods. LOL. Then, I'd be virtually happy Too bad... :P It's a virtual win-win situation. You can hire many virtual programmers to write a lot of virtual code for KMess. "My old virtual dad used to say to me: 'virtual money does not bring you virtual happiness, my virtual son.'" Shlomi Fish and Sjors MSN Virtual money. Top vs. Bottom Posting Shlomi_Fish and me engaged in a religious argument - top posting vs. bottom posting. What is your side (Pepy)? hmm bottom posting i guess well,guess bottom posting is winning then Heh. Pepy: may you be damned, filthy heretic! TOP POSTING IS THE ONE AND ONLY TRUE WAY ! ! ! ! TDDPirate: you are past redemption, you archangel of evil! Shlomi_Fish: not to speak of your vile and wicked bottom posting ways! so go go bottom posting Pepy: that's the way to go. The way to go - if you want to be DOOMED! TO! ETERNAL! FIRES! OF! HELL! Top posting is for the weak and timid! I will challenge all top-posters to a Batelath contest for undermining the HONOUR of the entire Klingon race! Don't dare to defile the honor of the honorable Klingon Race by dragging them into this argument! Sujatlh 'e' yImev TodSaH! Pepy: nice klingon. thanks shlomi Is this Klingon? And if yes, what does this mean? yes it is and it means ''shut up geeks'' Pepy: I may be a geek, but I'm a true klingon geek-warrior! Nice use of the language, Pepy. And a true Klingon geek warrior ALWAYS bottom-posts. no no,true Klingons have power to change quoted tops Pepy: do you mean that Klingons have the power to defile and make filthy of sacred E-mail messages? no,but they're used to ''edit'' history ah, when they ask me how the hell I managed to write so good band propositions I'll tell em,the secret is to chat with geeks about top vs bottom posting Shlomi Fish, TDDPirate and Pepy MSN Bottom vs. Top Posting. FOSS Versioning btw, you can do mplayer -dumpaudio -dumpfile file.mp3 no need to reencode This -dumpfile is a nice trick. Is it new? I wonder when mplayer will hit 1.0 already. Ah. All the stuff I saw told me to use WAV and then encode. mplayer and 1.0? i'm not really sure it's their goal They will stay at 1.0RC-foo forever? although i would be glad if they had some sensible versioning Yes. At the moment perl-Mojolicious is at 0.999924. At least perl-Moose hit 1.00 lol Without any substantial changes from 0.99. But you've got to upgrade somehow. perl-Moose is MDV/RH notation, but I like it. imo it's just stupid not to release 1.0 I dislike libmoose-perl Yes. wine did so and now they have normal versioning Though most of my CPAN modules are sub-1.0. http://search.cpan.org/~shlomif/ I think except for one module (where I used 0.2.0 0.4.0 and eventually hit 0.8.0 and had to go to 1.000) all my 1.0 and above modules are adopted. they are sub-1.0, but they are not 0.9.999.2010.03.11-rc5 :) One of them used the CVS revisions as versions. d3x : LOL. Yes. d3x: can I quote you on that? i say it's stupid to make releases up to 0.9.something and then not to release 1.0 I collect quotes on my homepage. sure you can At the moment I have freecell-solver-2.42.0 But I hope the new release will be 3.0.0 the one that was bought by freecell enterprise? :D I've left GNOME and gtk+/glib behind. d3x yes. Freecell Solver Enterprises™ Inc. Ah, so you've seen that. yes, you posted a link on #debian Yes. You should add a digest to the version. 0.9.999.2010.03.11-rc5-adc83b19e793491b1c6ea0fd8b46cd9f32e592fc lol In case you're using git or hg. private conversation Freenode d3x and Shlomi Fish (rindolf) about FOSS Versioning