When Eve and I got together to go shopping, we went to a clothes shop. “You know, my newfound powers are intoxicating. Three guys hit on me at school since the weekend, including this really cute Football player.” she said.
“Hmmm… ” I said.
“Are you ladies alright?” the shop’s clerk (Tim, a young and handsome man) approached us.
“Hey Tim!” I said, “I don’t believe you know my friend Eve here.”
“Eve Siegel!” she said and extended her hand.
“Tim O’Brian.” he said and they shook hands. “OK, I’ll be there if you need me…”
Eve followed him with her gaze for a few seconds, and then smiled and went back to looking at the clothes.
“Will you stop that?” I whispered to her.
“Stop what?” she said.
“You’re totally into him.”
“So I’m lusting him a little bit, so what? ‘But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her, hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.’”
“Well, girlfriend, committing adultery in your heart is perfectly harmless and quite rewarding. And I’m not really raping anyone. I’m tenderly making love to them.”
“Listen,” I snapped at her, “Taylor is my best friend, and I swear that if you…”
“I’m crazy about Taylor.” she interrupted me.
“What?” I said.
She changed her pose. “I’m crazy about Taylor. Always have been. I promise I wouldn’t do anything to hurt him.”
“You always have been crazy about Taylor? Why didn’t you tell him that?”
“Come on, have you looked at me then? I wasn’t his type. He always dated these well-groomed girls, who had some sense not to rebel like I did. Hell, he also dated this incredibly dumb cheerleader once.”
“Stacie wasn’t dumb!”
“I was being sarcastic! My point is that he was way out of my league.”
“Oh!” I said and tried to hug her.
“No hug!” she said. “In any case, I’ll do my best to make things work between Taylor and I. And even if they don’t, we’ll remain good friends. The kind of friends who go to movies together, or socialise at LUG meetings, fix dates for each other, etc.”
“Good, I’m glad to hear that. Now where were we?”
“Picking clothes.” she said, and after a while added: “You know, we should drop by Radio Shack and get some dolls of Tux and Beastie the BSD Daemon. I totally dig these guys. Oh! And a nice Looney Toons poster. I’d hate to pump money into the MPAA’s lawsuit machine, but I really like Marvin the Martian.”
“Who are you, and what have you done to Erisa?”
“Hey, the makeover was your idea, Jennifer. What have you done to Erisa?” and we both laughed.
Author | Shlomi Fish |
Work | “The Human Hacking Field Guide” |
Published | 2014-07-27 |