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Romantic Love and the DTC Technique

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Neo-Tech Advantage #62

Some people try to get involved too quickly in deep romantic relationships. The possible penalties of pressing for deep involvement too quickly include losing a potential romantic-love partner or unnecessarily wasting an irreplaceable portion of one's life by locking into a time-wasting destructive relationship.

Many initial approaches to romantic love are possible: Some start hot and flaming, others start cool and conservatively. But the way a romantic relationship starts is usually unimportant because romantic love evolves through the exchange of mutually beneficial values. Therefore, any initial, honest approach is good and normally does not determine the outcome. ...What determines the success of a relationship is the creation and growth of mutually beneficial values.

By applying Neo-Tech/Psychuous Concepts, a person increases his or her Life-Lifting Capacity.[ 34 ] With that capacity, a person can lift a potential, romantic-love partner to new experiences and levels at which romantic love can move forward through mutual growth. By increasing one's own Life-Lifting Capacity, that person increases his or her skills for developing romantic relationships capable of generating psychuous pleasures and abiding happiness.

Paradoxically, only those partners who are free and independent can make honest, long-range commitments to build abiding romantic relationships. Partners involved in romantic relationships can and should avoid authority-backed commitments to the future. The only commitment between romantic-love partners necessary for success is a commitment to honesty and growth.

If a relationship grows out of honest free-choice, the values accumulate naturally. The relationship then increasingly forms a self-chosen permanence. If growth continues, the relationship can gain unbreakable strength and permanence. If growth stops, the relationship can benevolently end with most of the accumulated values retained by each partner. As a result, each partner will have expanded his and her capacity for future relationships. In addition, the benevolent termination of a value-oriented relationship can (if the partners so choose) remain open to possible changes that would allow resumption of growth and the relationship.

Since no one does or can know everything, everyone will at times make errors in his or her personal life. A person is particularly susceptible to errors in the initial stages of a relationship because of limited knowledge and experience about the new situation. Certain errors, if unrecognized or left uncorrected, can unnecessarily end a potentially good romantic-love relationship. With explicit knowledge of the Neo-Tech/Psychuous concepts, the possibilities of such errors are sharply reduced. And when errors do occur, they are usually quickly corrected by applying the Neo-Tech/Psychuous concepts.

The need for compromise in a love relationship is a value-diminishing, guilt-generating myth promoted by altruists, egalitarians, theologians, and other neocheaters. With the Neo-Tech/Psychuous concepts as a guide, conflicts between partners can be resolved without either partner's best interests being compromised, diminished, or sacrificed.

Romantic love never occurs automatically or by chance. Life values are earned through hard, honest efforts. That means constant, conscious efforts orchestrated in full accord with reality. As with all important values, romantic love and psychuous pleasures demand thought, effort, and time to develop. The positive values generated are proportional to the rational thought and honest effort invested. ...Romantic love, as any important personal value, is attained through the DTC technique: Discipline, Thought, and then Control. [Re: Concept 94, Neo-Tech Reference Encyclopedia]

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[ 34 ] Life-Lifting Capacity does not mean changing or rem olding another individual to suit one's own desires. Life-Lifting Capacity means providing an environment that helps other people discover and fulfill their own unrealized capacities and potential.

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