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Romantic-Love Standards

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Neo-Tech Advantage #63

Actions based on standards of other people or "authorities" stifle self-discovery and block the personal and intellectual growth necessary for romantic love and psychuous pleasures. Within romantic love, no action or behavior needs the approval or sanction of anyone beyond the partners themselves. Couples can and should experience any and all nondestructive sexual and nonsexual experiences they mutually desire.

As one develops intellectual and emotional character, that person's standards for romantic love rise. But rising standards cause a decline in the percentage of potential partners that could satisfy a romantic relationship. Partly offsetting that percentage decline, however, is personal growth, which increases the opportunities to contact higher-quality, potential partners.

Romantic love cannot survive a continually widening disparity of personal growth and character development between partners. For that widening disparity will eventually undermine any romantic-love relationship. A widening disparity between partners eventually generates reactions of inadequacy, jealousy, possessiveness, even envy in the less developed partner -- and resentment, dissatisfaction, or disinterest in the more developed partner. Romantic-love relationships, however, can grow and flourish even if wide differences exist in creative or other abilities between partners. The key is growth: Disparity itself is not important if it does not widen -- if both partners are creating and sharing growth. [Re: Concept 95, Neo-Tech Reference Encyclopedia] Also, romantic-love relationships can flourish even with great differences in personalities. ...Growing values and attraction in romantic love arise from character growth and development, not from personality traits. These as all values evolve from DTC -- Discipline, Thought, and then Control.

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