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Two Types of Romantic Love

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Neo-Tech Advantage #65

Two types of romantic-love relationships exist:

Type A
Working Jointly Toward Major Experiences and Goals

One partner works through the other more creative or active partner in climbing to increasing levels of accomplishment. Both partners share the rewards according to the values that each contribute. The more productive, creative, efficient, one partner becomes, the greater are the benefits and growth opportunities for the other partner. In turn, that partner then grows to become increasingly valuable to the other partner. Each partner benefits greatly from such a combined working/growing relationship. And such a relationship is mutually advantageous even when major differences in productivity, creativity, or energy exist between partners. (A difference in productivity does not imply a difference in personal character.) In such a joint-working relationship, even wide differences in productivity and creativity do not threaten the relationship, so long as growing values are being exchanged between the partners.

A joint-working relationship has the outstanding advantage not only of the partners sharing much larger portions of their lives, but of the partners living their lives more intensely together. ...They are living integrally together before, during, and after work, everyday. They move on their goals, careers, essences, integrated thinking, and happiness together. They can each be more effective, efficient, and happier working together than working separately. They can become major, irreplaceable, growing values to each other.

Type B
Working Separately Toward Major Experiences and Goals

Each partner can pursue independent routes toward separate careers or goals. And each can benefit from such a relationship by the cross-sharing of experiences, emotions, and rewards of their separate experiences and accomplishments. The separate-working relationship need be neither threatening nor competitive for either partner, but rather can be a continuous source of pleasures and enrichment not available to either partner alone.

Both A and B type relationships offer unlimited opportunities for personal growth and happiness. In such value-producing relationships, each partner knows either implicitly or explicitly that intimacy, pleasures, and happiness in a relationship arise from sharing personal growth, not from possessing or owning one another.

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