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Finding Partners and Bypassing Shyness

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Neo-Tech Advantage #68

Finding the right partner with whom to experience psychuous pleasures and romantic love is one of life's most important responsibilities. Opportunities to discover a potential, life-long romantic partner exist everywhere. But unplanned approaches diminish one's chances of securing the best possible romantic-love partner. [Re: Table 35, Neo-Tech Reference Encyclopedia]

Every lonely person should remember that meeting a suitable partner to build abiding love and happiness needs only one connection, one meeting, one social function, one planned effort...and any time could be that one time. Until a person finds that right romantic partner, he or she should never stop searching for that person with whom to share and build values, love, and happiness. To give up searching would be to give up on life itself. And finding that one person makes all efforts worthwhile.

When one bemoans the unhappiness or falseness of guests at a social gathering, that person is often projecting his or her own feelings of unhappiness or falseness onto people who may not be that way at all. But, by looking past one's own mystical complaints, a person can usually generate self-benefiting values from most social circumstances, even if the people encountered hold values and life styles different from one's own.

Still, a person must be selective to protect one's time. One must not let valuable, irreplaceable segments of life be consumed by those who waste time, retard personal growth, or work against one's best interests. But when unavoidably cast into a situation with undesirable people, a person alert with Neo-Tech knowledge can usually salvage valuable new insights. Whenever possible, however, a person should promptly exit from situations that waste time.

Bypassing Shyness

Feelings of social incompetence are generally unfounded. Such feelings are often caused by falsely negative views about one's self or mystical views about others. When a person becomes aware of and scraps those false views, the feelings of social incompetence diminish and often vanish.

An effective way to bypass shyness, nervousness, and feelings of social incompetence is by intense listening with full-focus awareness on the speaker. Not only does such attention elicit friendly reactions from the speaker to the listener, but intense listening increases the listener's ability to communicate and articulate. Intense listening is also a valuable tool to evaluate potential partners for romantic love.

Possibilities for contacting potential, romantic-love partners increase proportionately with the number of approaches made toward potential partners. Many opportunities for discovering romantic-love partners are lost by people who fear what others may think of them for trying to "pick up" people to whom they are attracted. Even more opportunities are lost through inaction caused by fear of rejection.

In finding the best romantic-love partner, a person must be free and forward in approaching potential partners. That includes all approaches from a self-introduction to a media ad or a bold pickup by either the man or the woman. Through fear of rejection, many people lose valuable opportunities to discover romantic partners within whom the supreme values of psychuous pleasures and romantic love reside. That fear of contacting others dissipates on realizing the nature of rejections: Most rejections stem simply from unavailability. And many other rejections arise from inadequacies within the person doing the rejecting. Such rejections are not personal rebuffs, but actually serve as valuable sorting processes that allow the quick elimination of unpromising prospects with a minimum loss of time.

Relying on Natural Beauty

Those who rely on natural beauty or physical attractiveness to control love situations are generally unsuitable for romantic love. For usually they ignore the efforts and disciplines needed to develop capacities to receive or deliver romantic love and psychuous pleasures [Re: Concept 90, Neo-Tech Reference Encyclopedia]. Those who respond to one's initial, natural approach often make the best prospects for romantic partners. For that reason, a person must freely express his or her unique, natural self from the start in order for the selection process to work effectively in uncovering the best potential romantic-love partners.

Many people erroneously think that seeking potential romantic partners at social functions designed for that purpose (e.g., singles dances, clubs, introduction services, Parents Without Partners) is somehow degrading. But the opposite is the fact. People who value themselves and their happiness will resist mystically acting on such false feelings. Instead, they will place a high priority on those activities that will improve their chances of discovering the best-possible, life-long, romantic-love partner.

The value of romantic love is far too important for leaving to random chance. Instead, a person must put the discovering of a life-long partner under one's own direct control. One must exert organized, rational efforts to find the love partner with whom the greatest values can be exchanged. That direct-action approach contrasts with the mystical approach of those who count on random chance, a white knight, or someone else to deliver the values of love and happiness to them. ...To gain and keep a value as great as romantic love requires constant discipline, hard integrated thinking, and consistent high-energy effort.

Why Everyone Is Not Handsome

Most animals evolve to near their perfect physical appearance. But conscious beings do not because those without natural beauty can choose to work harder to develop their character and competence to higher levels. Thus, some people with less natural beauty work harder to develop superior characters. They do that to compete better in attracting mates for psychuous pleasures and reproduction. By contrast, many of those endowed with natural beauty lack the same competitive pressures to work harder to develop character and competence.

Thus, because certain people without natural beauty make themselves more competitive, they remain well represented throughout the evolutionary stream. In fact, they tend to rise above the naturally beautiful people in power, intellectual attractiveness, and sexual desirability. Those dynamics are why (1) naturally beautiful people can be found among the less evolved and (2) unhandsome people can be found among the highest levels of evolvement. Thus, unlike other animals, nature's drive for physical perfection is not a controlling evolutionary force in man. Indeed, man-controlled intelligent actions can outcompete nature-controlled, physical appearances not only for reproduction and survival, but for prosperity, happiness, and romantic love.

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