Subject: How to survive information overload?

From: Omer Zak <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 28 Jan 2002 21:08:55 +0200 (IST)

Grep the stuff, which you have to read, for the phrases enclosed below
(preferably using agrep - approximate grep).  According to the number of
hits, handle the documents as follows: 

0 hits - read carefully.  It is worth your time!
up to 1 exact match or 3 approximate matches - skim, and read if it still 
                                               looks interesting.
More than 1 exact match and/or more than 3 approximate matches - discard.

                                             --- Omer
There is no IGLU Cabal.  The remains of the former IGLU Cabal will
(perhaps) be found after digging and excavating the site of operations and
removing the bullshit which accumulated there during the last 22,453
years.
WARNING TO SPAMMERS:  see at http://www.zak.co.il/spamwarning.html

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Tue, 22 May 2001 08:34:50 -0400 (EDT)
From: Steve Stevenson <[email-masked]>
To: [email-masked]
Subject: Some humor to lighten your day

The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you
understand the mysterious language of validation and verification. These
special phrases are also applicable to anyone reading a simulation
reports or conference papers.

"IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN"...I didn't look up the original reference.

"A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT"...These data are practically
meaningless.

"WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THE
QUESTIONS"...An unsuccessful experiment but I still hope to get it
published.

"THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY"...The other
results didn't make any sense.

"TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN"...This is the prettiest graph.

"THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT"...I might get around
to this sometime, if pushed/funded.

"IN MY EXPERIENCE"...Once.

"IN CASE AFTER CASE"...Twice.

"IN A SERIES OF CASES"...Thrice.

"IT IS BELIEVED THAT"...I think.

"IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT"...A couple of others think so, too.

"CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE"...Wrong.

"ACCORDING TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS"...Rumor has it.

"A STATISTICALLY-ORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE
FINDINGS"...A wild guess.

"A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA"...Three pages of notes were
obliterated when I knocked over a glass iced tea.

"IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A
COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENON OCCURS"...I don't
understand it.

"AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES"...They don't understand it
either.

"THANKS ARE DUE TO JOE BLOTZ FOR ASSISTANCE WITH THE EXPERIMENT AND
TO CINDY ADAMS FOR VALUABLE DISCUSSIONS"...Mr. Blotz did the work
and Ms. Adams explained to me what it meant.

"A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY"...A totally
useless topic selected by my management.

"IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER INVESTIGATION IN
THIS FIELD"...I quit.

Received from Andy Chap's The Funnies, via GCFL, slightly modified at ivandv

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