What's up, fuckers?
Hey guys, it's Friday here on dailygrace and you know what that means?
Sex advice, sex advice, sexy advice
OK, now I've decided that one Friday of every month
is going to be dedicated to advice
on love, sex, relationships
and the etc. that falls in that umbrella of
weather cat things (?)
and we're going call this "Daily Gradvice".
I went on my Tumblr and I asked you guys what kind of advice
did you need about love and sex and relationships
and you all gave me some interesting questions
so - let's get into them.
what's the best way to approach a girl or a guy?
Great question.
From the front.
How do I tell a guy I made out with several times, that I would be a terrible girlfriend and don't think we should go out... help!
OK, interesting question.
First, you need to tell him that you're using him to play mouth paintball.
And then you just have to say "I really don't want to change my Facebook status."
How do you get someone to notice you as more than just a friend?
OK, good question. If you're a guy - you want to tell them something along the lines of
"I don't want to keep my dick in my pants around you
I want to keep it in your metaphorical lady pants.
Dockers. I want to dock her.
If you're a girl, you need to say "Listen, I want you to sail your dick ship into my lady port."
How can a man tell when a woman is flirting with him? I only ask because I seem to be completely oblivious to these things.
OK, great question.
There's usually three signs that a girl is flirting with you:
One, she laughs unnecessarily and stupidly at your "jokes"
Something along the lines of this: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Two, she makes unnecessary body contact with you.
Oh my god, what a cool watch!
Oh my gosh, your hair is... what products do you use?
Your face.
She's not blind - she's flirting.
Three, she'll probably think everything that you do is really cool when it's not cool.
Sorry.
Oh my God, that's so cool.Cool. Oh, so cool. It's like really cool.
You're so cool - I'm not that cool.
What? Cool! Oh, your face is so cool.
What! Oh my God! Ha, ha, ha.
Something like that.
What are some pick up lines that 60% of the time, work every time?
OK, now, very good question, and I'm going to give you
one of the most important pieces of advice I can possibly give a guy trying to date women.
Women are crazy and we want what we can't have.
So what you have to do is: flirt, flirt, flirt
till they're into it and then pretend you're not into them anymore.
Hhhh... oh my God, cause here's what we're thinking in our head. Ready? Get ready.
This guy is really cute, I'm really excited meeting him, oh my gosh, I think I like him
but you know what - there's other guys here, so...
What?! He's not paying attention, why isn't he paying attention?
What's wrong with me? There's must be something wrong with me.
He's looking at other girls, he's looking at other girls.
Those other girls look at him.
No, *** other girls. I want him.
I love him. I'm in love with him. I want him forever.
I wanna babysit him. I love what's-his-name and I want him.
I want him... No!!!
That's what we're thinking, Okay?
Yeah, I'd like to know how to plan an orgy.
Great question. I suggest using E-vite, it's a nice way to
personalize an invitation and send them out to a group of people.
How to tell your parent(s) you're pregnant?
OK, great question, what you need to do is
sit your parents down and tell them flat out that you murdered someone - by accident.
and then when they get hysterical, you say:
"Psych! Parents! I, actually - I created someone."
They're gonna be a lot happier.
Alright everyone, that's it for the first episode of Daily Gradvice.
Please follow me on Tumblr so you'll know
when I'm about to do a Daily Gradvice video.
And you'll be able to submit your questions.
Because... can't have answers unless there's questions,so...
Bye!
How do you tell if someone is a girl?
Great question. You need to ask them: "Do you like the Bravo Channel?"
And that'll narrow it down.
No, wait! That won't.