Becky In The Library
PrevNode LinkNextThe Librarian
Node LinkNext[ Becky enters the new library of Sunnydale High School. It’s large. The song “Everytime We Touch” by Cascada is playing in the background and people are making other light noises. Becky approaches the librarian, Ms. Chu, who has Oriental looks. ]
Becky: Hi, I would have expected a library to be more quiet than that.
Ms. Chu: Yes, but we realised that such sterility is not good for creativity or for one’s self-esteem. This song actually was a good catalyst for rethinking our strategy.
Ms. Chu: Anyway, my name is Diane Chu, and I’m the librarian here. I’m also a qualified watcher.
Becky: Nice to meet you: I am Becky Shepherd.
Ms. Chu: Nice to meet you. [They shake hands] I think your two team mates are over there.
Becky: Why, thank you! I’m going to join them.
Chit Chat
PrevNode LinkNextBecky: Hi Chankey, Cliff.
Chankey: Hello, Becky. You were right, I have made many friends.
[ Samantha, who is a good looking white girl, approaches Chankey. ]
Samantha: Oh, Chankey, there you are! I had a great time tonight. [She kisses him on the cheek.] We’ll schedule another date using instant messaging, K? See you!
[ She leaves. ]
Becky: Ooh... watch it, Mr. Watcher!
[ Cliff hits him with his fist. ]
Chankey: Heh, tell me about it. What is it about women and Indian men?
Cliff: What is it about women and all exotic men? Or non-exotic ones! Girls here hit on me like crazy, and I’ve had lots of dates.
Becky: Men do that too, by the way. Like… in Israel, lots of men asked my female friends and I — where some of them were kinda big, not athletic looking and not very beautiful — on dates, or hit on us in the typical Israeli “smooth” way.
Becky: That’s not all, but I talked with some female Jewish divorcees, and they told me that many religious married Jewish asked them if they are interested to have an affair with them.
Cliff: What? Such an affair? How is this…
Becky: Kosher? It is for married men based on the Jewish Law. Not for women though.
Cliff: Heh, double standards.
Becky: Well, that’s Judaism for you.
Becky: Anyway, Orthodox religious Jews are attracted to ethnic Jewesses (like me) like flies are attracted to a piece of meat, because we don’t have to observe for them to have Jewish children. I had many awesome dates with Yeshivah pupils.
Cliff: That’s great, Brony girl.
Chankey: Cliff, her name is “Becky”.
Becky: That’s quite alright. I like being called “Brony girl”. It makes me feel special.
Becky: So, Cliff [she flicks her hair], what did you do this summer?
Cliff: Oh, I spent this time in southern California, doing martial arts, witchcraft and hanging around with friends and celebrities.
Becky: Celebrities? Really?!! Which ones?
Cliff: You name it - I met Chuck Norris for example and fought against him.
Becky: You met Chuck Norris? That’s so great! How’s he like? And who won?
Cliff: Oh, he’s great! Keeps saying various aphorisms that I can never tell if they are from the Bible or not, but, ye know, he’s just being himself.
Cliff: And he takes losing (like with me - I won two rounds out of three) amazingly well. Says that he can learn more from a lost fight than from a fight he’s won.
Becky: Awesome!
Becky: Anyway, you probably know that Summer Glau pawns Chuck. She doesn’t have to hurt you if she doesn’t want to, while Norris kills everyone in sight. It also takes her a minute to write a rebuttal for a bad blog comment like in xkcd: “Venting”, and she would sign it as him.
[ Chankey bursts out laughing. Cliff and Becky join him. ]
Cliff: Well, I actually met her a few times, including in a fight tournament where she lost one of the first few rounds. She’s a good fighter, but not that good. Then she saw me fighting, and asked me if we can fight.
Becky: Summer Glau asked you to fight her? Get out! I’m not worthy… I’m not worthy… I’m not worthy… [Reference: Wayne's World]
Becky: Cliff, you’re a freaking wizard!
Cliff: I’m a freaking witch! Anyway, I won all three rounds and she told me it was a good fight.
With Buffy
PrevNode LinkBecky: Of course, everyone knows that Buffy is better than Chuck [Buffy Facts]. He’s been secretly fighting against her, and so far has lost all of those battles.
Cliff: Yeah, and her gaze can turn Medusa into stone!
Chankey: Buffy Summers is not afraid of demons. Demons are afraid of her, and for a very good reason.
Buffy’s voice: Buffy Summers is always there when people are spreading untrue hyperboles about her.
Cliff: Oh, hello Ms. Summers.
[ Buffy approaches them from a different aisle in the library. ]
Buffy: Hello, kids.
Cliff: By the way, what is your post-marriage name?
Buffy: It’s “Summers”. Angel and I are both called that. He didn’t find his original family name usable in this day and age, so he adopted mine. His original name was very aristocratic, and he is actually a direct male descendent of Charlemagne.
Becky: Ooh… so you are now Milady de Summers? Awesome!
Buffy: Heh, well, it is Faith that has an unnatural obsession with Milady de Winter — not me.
Buffy: In any case, for your information, I fought against Chuck Norris several times and lost all the battles. In fact, that was part of the catalyst that made us realise that slayers were only humans and that men can be equally as capable slayers as women. You will hopefully get a chance to meet and even fight against Mr. Norris sometime throughout the school year.
Becky: I see. So, Ms. Summers, what are you doing here in the library?
Buffy: I’m looking for a book I misplaced.
Becky: About slaying?
Buffy: No, about cooking. A cookbook from the late 60s with a nice spinach, Broccoli and cheese casserole.
Becky: [Types a few things on the keyboard.] Ms. Summers, I was able to find a recipe for a casserole like that from that era.
Buffy: Let me see. [Looks] Wow! Looks great. Becky, you've got a lot of potential as a slayer.
Becky: Why, thank you!
Cliff: Bleh! [He puts his head in his hands.]