Orientation Day
PrevNode LinkNextOrientation Day - Becoming a team
Node LinkNext[ Text on the screen: Sunnydale High School Orientation Day ; Sunnydale ; California
First few chords of Miley Cyrus’ “Party In The U.S.A”. Rebecca “Becky” Shepherd is shown walking in the high school lobby listening to the song playing from her smartphone that is tucked on her belt. She is wearing a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic shirt, and has a name tag that reads "Rebecca Shepherd (Slayer)". ]
Cliff: Yo, Brony girl, stop!
Becky: Hey, sorry for not paying attention [she pauses the music]. What’s up?
Cliff: Chankey here [points at Chankey] and I are looking for a slayer to complete our team. You don’t seem exactly like slayer-material, but since all the other slayers we talked with were taken, I guess we should settle on you.
[ Becky smiles. ]
Becky: Sure, I’d love to be team with you. Let’s register.
[ She uses her smartphone to register. ]
Becky: OK, done.
Chankey: [in an English accent] Smashing!
Becky: Chankey, is it? Are you British?
Chankey: Yes, Ms. Shepherd.
Becky: “Becky” please.
Chankey: Yes, well, I am of Indian descent and carry an Indian name. I have photographic memory, and did extremely well in my studies. I was supposed to start studying in Harrow School (the notorious public school, or what you Americans will call a “private school”) because I had many friends there, but then became aware of some demonic activity in Greater London, and was indoctrinated as a watcher-wannabe here.
Chankey: I don’t have any friends here.
Becky: [Grabbing his hand.] I’m sure you’ll make some.
Chankey: Yes. Most of my friends who have been kept out of the demonic underworld loop thought I was crazy for going to "Sunnydale High School" rather than to Harrow, which is the second most prestigious school in Britain.
Cliff: Heh, well, my friends accept the fact that I'm getting weirder, but more amusing in the process. I wish I could completely stop speaking in riddles, but I cannot copy my mind into the outside world, and there are stupid trolls on online forums and subforums.
Chankey: Heh, my thoughts exactly.
Chankey: Anyway, Becky, what about you? What’s your story?
Becky: Well, I grew up and lived in Charlotte, North Carolina (great town!). My mother’s Jewish and I’m kind of a spoiled Jewish American Princess.
Cliff: Heh, like Princess Vespa in Spaceballs?
Becky: Oh, I love this film, and I love the way she undergoes a Catharsis.
Becky: Anyway, school was pretty easy for me, and I already finished high school Math and expected to start studying Mathematics in a local university next year, when a friend of mine and I ran into a vampire while walking in downtown Charlotte. He was downright scary, but I tried to be as calm as possible and ran with my friend into a large diner, where I explained everything. Luckily for us there were a male slayer and his female watcher there - a couple.
Becky: They took care of the vampire, and after that when we got talking, they told me that they thought I had a great potential to become a slayer, and I ended up here.
Chankey: Smashing!
Cliff: OK, OK, God works in mysterious ways - making a brony girl / Miley Cyrus aficionado into a slayer [cut to Becky, she is smiling and saying “heh”] and making me, who has practised Martial Arts for years, and is incredibly athletic (“Buff-y-ed”, heh!) into a freaking warlock.
Cliff: Anyway, my name is Cliff Farrel, I’m from coastal Florida, and I got introduced to casting spells by a few local sorcerers and witches. I was good at it, and they told me I should enrol here and I did. So now I’m getting to be bossed around by Miss “I’m a J.A.P. and I’m proud of it” Brony Girl here.
Becky: Listen, for your information, I did some martial arts over in Israel, when I visited it this summer, and I was told I was pretty good at it, but more importantly - there’s more to being a good slayer than senselessly kicking vampires’ ass.
Giles’ Speech
PrevNode LinkNext[ Giles is testing the microphone. ]
Giles: Mary had a little lamb, little lamb… OK, nice.
Giles: All 10th grade students pay attention here. This is Prof. Rupert Giles and I’m the principal of Sunnydale High School, which as you know specialises in training slayers, watchers and warlocks-slash-witches to help battle the world infestation of demons.
Giles: Let’s start with a brief history of this school:
Giles: Buffy Anne Summers and her mother moved to Sunnydale at 1997 and she quickly found herself fighting Demons again when being in the 10th grade. Buffy gathered a small group of friends, who helped her fighting demons called the Scooby Gang.
Giles: During the Scooby Gang’s senior year, a young (about the Scooby Gang’s members' ages) and insurgent slayer called Faith Lehane comes to Sunnydale, having been an orphan most of her life, and growing on the streets. At first, it seems that she has gone to “the dark side of the force” to quote Buffy, but she ends up preventing the mayor’s ascension in the last minute and saving the day.
Giles: Faith felt sorry for having had sex with Mr. Alexander “Xander” Harris as part of her "double agent" facade for saving Sunnydale, so she offers him to spend some days hanging out together as friends. Not only do they fall in love, but Xander is able to defeat her in martial arts fights.
Giles: With the encouragement of Buffy and Faith, he becomes more confident, and eventually makes history by becoming the world’s first known male slayer, paving the road to future male slayers.
Giles: The extended Scooby gang start studying in the local university in hope of becoming qualified teachers.
Giles: Meanwhile, Buffy and her long term friend and loved one, Angel are able to convince the Gypsies who restored his soul to use an even more powerful spell to convert him back into a human. Angel becomes a slayer as well, and he and Buffy get married and have children.
Giles: In a similar fashion, Willow Rosenberg, now Dr. Willow Rosenberg, Ph.D, is able to cure her boyfriend, Daniel “Oz” Osbourne, out of his werewolfness, he becomes a fellow warlock as well, and the two marry and have some children. Dr. Rosenberg and Dr. Osbourne are both among the most powerful known wizards in the world today, so you should stay on their good side.
Giles: Not that they abuse their magic. At least not often.
Giles: I myself have married Buffy’s mother, who isn’t a qualified demon fighter, but nevertheless extremely helpful and instrumental to the Scooby Gang.
Giles: In the meanwhile, Principal Snyder retired, passed the baton to me, and decided to run for mayor of Sunnydale. He ended up losing the election at first with a large margin, but didn’t give up and instead offered the newly elected mayor to help him as much as he could. Snyder proved to be extremely helpful and insightful, and in the second term, the previous Mayor didn’t run again, and instead supported Mr. Snyder as a candidate, who won it by a large margin. He is still Sunnydale’s mayor, and a good friend and supporter of the Scooby gang’s new role as educators and protectors of Sunnydale, and the world at large.
Giles: What all this shows, is like this fine lady [showing Princess Celestia on the screen and some laughter and enthusiastic claps from the audience] would say: the real magic is in friendship.
Giles: Fast forward to the present, Sunnydale High School has become the Mecca for training slayers, warlocks and witches, and watchers. We now have a lot of competition (and some very good one I might add), and it’s hard to stay on top, but we know better than to ever rest on our laurels. We accept students from all over the world, and it’s a big melting pot of cultures, ideas, and knowledge.
Giles: The so-called “Web 2.0” revolution did not skip the world of slaying, and there are now many blogs, wikis, microblogs, forums, chatrooms, and other online Internet resources about all that. While it’s really exciting, note, however that you should be extremely careful: one small mispronunciation on a spell can kill you or curse you for a long time, which would be much harder, if not damn right impossible, to revert. Always research your sources, and make sure that you are safe.
Giles: There’s a lot of pseudo-Mystical junk masquerading in today’s world, so don’t expect the worlds of Harry Potter, the Discworld, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, or even My Little Pony to be 100% accurate. As interesting, enlightening, and insightful they are, they must be taken with a huge grain of salt.
Giles: Thanks to the growing number of demon-fighters, the demon world has been kept largely at bay for years. However, we try to get ready for a big demonic calamity, if and when it will happen. Like the Scouts always say: “Be Prepared”.
[ Giles drinks some water from his glass. ]
Giles: You have been split into teams of three, which consist of a slayer, a watcher, and a warlock or witch. You should know what your responsibilities are.
Giles: You can pick up the necessary classes from three different times in your curriculum. We have midterm and final tests but no homework. [Cheers from the crowd] Once you finish your classes for the day, you are free to do as you please.
Giles: We are also not a vocational school and teach you the proper scholastic subjects. We are also always open to hear our students’ criticism or question.
Giles: I should also note that while we hope you learn a lot from us, then to paraphrase on what Rabbi Hanina said in the Talmud, we will learn much more from you.
Giles: Finally note that although you have a lot of responsibility, slaying is fun and rewarding, so make sure you enjoy it. Your Twelfth-grade mentors will come to guide you shortly.
[ Claps and cheers from the audience. ]
The 12th grade mentors.
PrevNode Link[ The 12th grade mentors - Roger (Slayer), Abigail (Witch), and Ronnie (Watcher) arrive. ]
Roger: what's up, losers? We’ll be your mentors for your first year here in Sunnydale High. I’m Roger and I’m a slayer.
Abigail: I’m Abigail and I’m a witch.
Ronnie: Ronnie, watcher.
Becky: Nice to meet the three of you, I’m Becky, Slayer wannabe.
[ They all shake hands. ]