Giles’ Speech
PrevNode LinkNext[ Giles is testing the microphone. ]
Giles: Mary had a little lamb, little lamb… OK, nice.
Giles: All 10th grade students pay attention here. This is Prof. Rupert Giles and I’m the principal of Sunnydale High School, which as you know specialises in training slayers, watchers and warlocks-slash-witches to help battle the world infestation of demons.
Giles: Let’s start with a brief history of this school:
Giles: Buffy Anne Summers and her mother moved to Sunnydale at 1997 and she quickly found herself fighting Demons again when being in the 10th grade. Buffy gathered a small group of friends, who helped her fighting demons called the Scooby Gang.
Giles: During the Scooby Gang’s senior year, a young (about the Scooby Gang’s members' ages) and insurgent slayer called Faith Lehane comes to Sunnydale, having been an orphan most of her life, and growing on the streets. At first, it seems that she has gone to “the dark side of the force” to quote Buffy, but she ends up preventing the mayor’s ascension in the last minute and saving the day.
Giles: Faith felt sorry for having had sex with Mr. Alexander “Xander” Harris as part of her "double agent" facade for saving Sunnydale, so she offers him to spend some days hanging out together as friends. Not only do they fall in love, but Xander is able to defeat her in martial arts fights.
Giles: With the encouragement of Buffy and Faith, he becomes more confident, and eventually makes history by becoming the world’s first known male slayer, paving the road to future male slayers.
Giles: The extended Scooby gang start studying in the local university in hope of becoming qualified teachers.
Giles: Meanwhile, Buffy and her long term friend and loved one, Angel are able to convince the Gypsies who restored his soul to use an even more powerful spell to convert him back into a human. Angel becomes a slayer as well, and he and Buffy get married and have children.
Giles: In a similar fashion, Willow Rosenberg, now Dr. Willow Rosenberg, Ph.D, is able to cure her boyfriend, Daniel “Oz” Osbourne, out of his werewolfness, he becomes a fellow warlock as well, and the two marry and have some children. Dr. Rosenberg and Dr. Osbourne are both among the most powerful known wizards in the world today, so you should stay on their good side.
Giles: Not that they abuse their magic. At least not often.
Giles: I myself have married Buffy’s mother, who isn’t a qualified demon fighter, but nevertheless extremely helpful and instrumental to the Scooby Gang.
Giles: In the meanwhile, Principal Snyder retired, passed the baton to me, and decided to run for mayor of Sunnydale. He ended up losing the election at first with a large margin, but didn’t give up and instead offered the newly elected mayor to help him as much as he could. Snyder proved to be extremely helpful and insightful, and in the second term, the previous Mayor didn’t run again, and instead supported Mr. Snyder as a candidate, who won it by a large margin. He is still Sunnydale’s mayor, and a good friend and supporter of the Scooby gang’s new role as educators and protectors of Sunnydale, and the world at large.
Giles: What all this shows, is like this fine lady [showing Princess Celestia on the screen and some laughter and enthusiastic claps from the audience] would say: the real magic is in friendship.
Giles: Fast forward to the present, Sunnydale High School has become the Mecca for training slayers, warlocks and witches, and watchers. We now have a lot of competition (and some very good one I might add), and it’s hard to stay on top, but we know better than to ever rest on our laurels. We accept students from all over the world, and it’s a big melting pot of cultures, ideas, and knowledge.
Giles: The so-called “Web 2.0” revolution did not skip the world of slaying, and there are now many blogs, wikis, microblogs, forums, chatrooms, and other online Internet resources about all that. While it’s really exciting, note, however that you should be extremely careful: one small mispronunciation on a spell can kill you or curse you for a long time, which would be much harder, if not damn right impossible, to revert. Always research your sources, and make sure that you are safe.
Giles: There’s a lot of pseudo-Mystical junk masquerading in today’s world, so don’t expect the worlds of Harry Potter, the Discworld, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, or even My Little Pony to be 100% accurate. As interesting, enlightening, and insightful they are, they must be taken with a huge grain of salt.
Giles: Thanks to the growing number of demon-fighters, the demon world has been kept largely at bay for years. However, we try to get ready for a big demonic calamity, if and when it will happen. Like the Scouts always say: “Be Prepared”.
[ Giles drinks some water from his glass. ]
Giles: You have been split into teams of three, which consist of a slayer, a watcher, and a warlock or witch. You should know what your responsibilities are.
Giles: You can pick up the necessary classes from three different times in your curriculum. We have midterm and final tests but no homework. [Cheers from the crowd] Once you finish your classes for the day, you are free to do as you please.
Giles: We are also not a vocational school and teach you the proper scholastic subjects. We are also always open to hear our students’ criticism or question.
Giles: I should also note that while we hope you learn a lot from us, then to paraphrase on what Rabbi Hanina said in the Talmud, we will learn much more from you.
Giles: Finally note that although you have a lot of responsibility, slaying is fun and rewarding, so make sure you enjoy it. Your Twelfth-grade mentors will come to guide you shortly.
[ Claps and cheers from the audience. ]