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“Cookie Monster - The Slayer” - Ongoing Text [possible satire]

Me wanna be “Rosh Gadol” about it.

Abstract

A parody of my Selina Mandrake - The Slayer, which is itself a parody of Buffy the Vampire Slayer; starring Cookie Monster and Emma Watson. Shelved for now given I am wilfully ignorant of baking and cooking in general.

Cookie Monster - The Slayer

About this screenplay

[ Shlomi Fish on Twitter: "I had an idea for a 'Cookie Monster - the slayer' spoof on my own Selina Mandrake , which is in turn marketed as a #Buffy parody. " ]

[ This text is Copyright by Shlomi Fish, 2021 and is made available under the Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial Share-Alike 4.0 Unported Licence (CC-by-nc-sa) (or - at your option - any later version). ]

Main Scene

Emma Watson’s New Gig

[ Black screen. Initial Credits. ]

Cookie Monster: You know, Emma, me so happy taking this baking course with you.

Emma Watson: So do I, Cookie Monster. One good thing about living in the Selinaverse is that we can speed up the cooking/baking/etc. times, and also duplicate the foods we baked.

Cookie Monster: Me is wondering, though: can we do something for extra credit? Me wanna be "rosh gadol" about it.

Emma Watson: How about a side quest, then? Shlomi Fish and I want you to star as The Cookie Slayer, with me playing The Guide this time.

Digesting the Codex

[ Emma Watson puts a copy of the Codex on the table. ]

Emma Watson: This is The Codex - it is like the bible of slaying.

[ Cookie Monster eats the copy. ]

Emma Watson: You ate my copy of The Codex?

Cookie Monster: yeah! Me needs to eat book to digest it.

Emma Watson: Well, I hope you don't eat my mobile which also contains a copy.

Cookie Monster: me no eat smartphones of me friends.

Cookie Monster: However, me does eat tabula rasa smartphones.

Emma Watson: I guess everyone has their own poison…

Cookie Monster: me has an immunity for poisons.

Emma Watson: I can believe it, judging by all the objects you eat.

Dedications

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