[ Emma Watson is sitting on a chair, in the field north of Ramat Aviv Gimel, Shlomi Fish’s home neighbourhood. ]
Emma Watson: good morning, good people. Today, three players and I are going to try playing a striptease version of the tabletop role-playing game Dungeons & Dragons (or “D&D” for short). The various editions of D&D are popular derivatives of the role-playing game of Greater Fantasia
[ A few seconds later, 2 helicopters and some Jeeps arrive, and lobster muppets, speaking in a mock-Spanish accent (like in “Muppet Show. Swedish Chef - Lobsters (episode 209)”), and carrying pistols and machine guns get out. ]
Lobster Mossad agent: Buenos días, amigos! The Mossad de-accessorising units provide a source of income for the Mossad, by de-accessorising over-accessorised celebrities, and auctioning the accessories on eBay.
[ Cut.
Caption on the screen: “10 minutes later”. ]
Shlomi Fish: so you've de-accessorised Emma and the two other players. But what about de-accessorising me?
Lobster Mossad agent: Eso no es bueno, hombre! There is a proliferation of vendors of your accessories kit on eBay who sell them for cheap.
Shlomi Fish: ah, yes. They often give me profit dividends.
Lobster Mossad agent: yes, even the NSA is not Internet-savvy enough to handle that.
[ Cut to a pair of Lobster agents who are dressed and accessorised similar to Shlomi Fish (= captioned T-shirt, with a hash tag, baseball cap, watch, glasses), and are chuckling. ]
[ Summoning “Super Clothes Munching Monster”, the superhero identity of “Clothes Munching Monster”, Sesame Street’s Cookie Monster’s relative. ]
Shlomi Fish: Thank you Super Clothes Munching Monster for de-clothing Emma, Mr. T, and Tiffany here (and keeping their clothing status PG-13 - compatible).
Shlomi Fish: would you be interested in eating my clothes too?
Super Clothes Munching Monster: No, me is stuffed.
Shlomi Fish: really? I thought you had an infinite appetite.
Super Clothes Munching Monster: No. Me has a big appetite, but not infinite one.
Shlomi Fish: that’s good, I think. Just for the record: I designed the shirt which I am wearing myself, and printed it at a local print shop. So it cost a bit, and required spending time and attention.
Super Clothes Munching Monster: Sounds like rare delicacy.
Shlomi Fish: so what are you planning to do now?
Super Clothes Munching Monster: me think me will go window shopping for food as me walks southward from here.
Shlomi Fish: I presume your idea of food is what us humans consider clothing?
Clothes Munching Monster: yes.
Shlomi Fish: then the two Ahimeir shopping centres have many clothes shops, and so does the Ramat Aviv Mall, in Einstein Street
Jojo: ועל כך אמרו חכמינו חז"ל לברכה: “אם יש לכם קשרים, אינכם צריכים פרוטקציה.”. [ = “And our sages, Chazal, said of that: ‘if you have contacts, you do not need protection’” ]
Jojo: ערב צח, ערב זך, ותודה שצפיתם בחלסטרה של ז'וז'ו. ותחשבו על זה![ = “have a pleasant evening, and thanks for watching ‘Jojo’s Tick-off’. And think about all that!” ]
[ The room turns dark for a few seconds, and then Jojo is seen wearing only a vest, with a large picture of Tigress (from Kung Fu Panda).
Jojo glances at the view of the camera on his smartphone. He gets angry. ]
Jojo: מה זה החרטה הזה?! [ = “What the hell is this shit?!” ]
[ Cut to the 4 strip-D&D players in the field north of Ramat Aviv Gimel. ]
Shlomi Fish: you know… I think I don’t like striptease games, even if I am good at them. For one, I usually dislike seeing women with private parts visible. This is even if I think they look great with proper attire or scantily clad (= in bikini, lingerie, etc.). To say nothing of seeing naked men. [References: Shlomi Fish’s FAQ: “What do you think about porn?”]
Shlomi Fish: I've thought that I was highly unusual because of that, but turned out it was fairly common in the Selinaverse / Shlomiverse (despite mutated hell media). Moreover, while 3rd-base and 4th-base are a thing in many universes (for various reasons) that are fictional as far as we are concerned, true prophet Selinaverse-ean avoid them, almost completely. Moreover, human/etc. children were often spontaneously born to two parents who hadn't even physically kissed, much less were married at the time.
Shlomi Fish: anyway, despite being dressed and accessorised lightly, I also am getting hot and sweaty here, given the weather. So I suggest we try to test playing D&D using that [ insert name of application ] software application and service, in a nearby and air-conditioned shopping mall. Given you 3 are in your underwear, I suggest you teleport to your apartments, bathe and change. I will walk to mine, bathe, and change too.
Shlomi Fish: we'll meet at the mall 2 hours from now ( roughly at the Asia/Tel Aviv noon ), and I (or Emma or whoever) can buy us lunch and snacks and stuff.
Shlomi Fish: we will play Dungeons and Dragons, with a natural fallback on the role-playing game of Greater Fantasia with the discretion of the gamemaster (Emma in our case). And we will start, continue, and finish, playing it with proper attire, even if somewhat light and casual.
Shlomi Fish: sounds good?
Emma Watson, Mr. T, Tiffany Alvord: yes… let's do it.
[ Emma, Mr. T, Tiffany, and Shlomi are sitting in an Israeli mall (with proper, but light, attire) holding their smartphones, while playing Dungeons & Dragons . ]
