Queen Padmé Tales: Planting Trees - Ongoing Text [satire]
Why can’t we have them all?
Abstract
Objective
This ambitious series of screenplays breaks a long-time taboo against writing Star Wars and Star Trek crossovers, but also aims to make the case for commercial yet free/open (Creative Commons / etc.) fan fiction / crossovers / real person fiction (see e.g: Our mission statement) and screenplays written in easier to write formats than the draconian, finicky, and boring, Hollywood-blessed format.
Abstract
While the birth parents of Queen Padmé Amidala of the Naboo of the Selinaverse (Tiffany Alvord , b. 1992) were killed in a starship crash when she was 1 years old, she was adopted by her aunt, the Duchess Elizabeth Amidala (Natalie Portman), and her aunt's husband, Darth Vader, who volunteered to act as King in effect until Padmé's coming of age. As a result, Padmé had a happy childhood until she turned 18 at 2010 and was ready to become the bona fide monarch of Naboo.
Padmé already learned enough about managing a planet country by volunteering to help Vader, and he encouraged her to do so. On the surface, she is happy:
She is the richest person in Naboo and one of the richest women in the galaxy.
She has enough free time to contribute on Internet content and code sharing sites.
She has many supporting friends, including her boyfriend, Anakin Skywalker (Jake Coco), a promising jedi-wannabe, who is about her age, and with aspirations for joining the mysterious but revered jedi order of Siths, of which only Vader and Emperor Palpatine are the known extant members.
In practice, though, there is the Sword of Damocles:
Critics on online publications and social media who are unhappy with every choice she makes.
A poorly executed takeover attempt by a “real life” celebrity (Emma Watson) thought to be flawless.
Her boyfriend being so busy with his studies that he becomes awfully laconic even in his emails.
Her spirit friends, who are animated characters from My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic and other fantastical universes, who appear at the seemingly least desirable moments, and whom everyone can see, hear, photograph, and record, but whom many people believe are some kind of trick.
And her biggest pet peeve: her positive bank balance which keeps getting larger, despite her many attempts to reduce it.
Queen Padmé and Real-Life Friends Celebs Plant Trees in Planet Spaceball
Node LinkAbout this screenplay
Node LinkNextObjective
Node LinkNext[ An illustrated screenplay crossing Star Wars Ep. I, the original Star Wars trilogy, the Selinaverse (itself crossing Star Trek TNG/DS9, Buffy, Judaism, Israel, Objectivism, etc.) the real world online/offline life in 2010s/2020s, Spaceballs, and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.
This screenplay is not written in the Hollywood blessed format because good hackers (= resourceful and rule bending heroes) which include the talented actors and actresses in this film can withstand reading a raw and non-CSS-styled XHTML5 file. That - and hackers like me do not have the time to massage a screenplay into Hollywood's whimsical format only to be rejected, rinse and repeat. ]
Licence
PrevNode LinkNext[ Emblem:
This text is Copyright by Shlomi Fish , 2020 and is made available under the Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 Unported Licence (CC-by) (or at your option - any later version). ]
Dedication
PrevNode Link[ The Dedication:
This story is dedicated to the memory of Samantha Smith ( 1972-1985 ), who bravely, naïvely, and "crazily" cemented the end of the Cold War as set forth by Sesame Street and The Muppet Show and materialised Isaiah's over 2,000 years old joke/story/exaggeration/entertainment/exaltation (while being female for extra comedy/"seriousness" effect). ]
Helping Planet Spaceball
PrevNode LinkNext[ Black screen.
Logo:
Initial Credits. ]
[ Queen Padmé Amidala of the Naboo (Star Wars Ep. 1, played by Tiffany Alvord) sits in her office next to a desktop PC running GNU/Linux. She sets up a video conference with President Skroob (sitting) and Dark Helmet (standing). ]
[ The three including Padmé do the Spaceballs hand gesture and laugh. ]
[ Padmé laughs. Reference. ]
The Tree Planters Sergeant
PrevNode LinkThe Demotivating Speech
Node LinkNext[ "Sarge" is a Spanish-speaking and English-speaking man and speaks in a (possibly fake) Spanish accent. He is the leader/organiser of the Tree Planters celeb troops. ]