Padmé’s Frustrations With her Love Life
PrevNode LinkNextPadmé: Oh, Worf, Gowron, your wives messaged me saying that although they are emotionally still mad at you, they have rationally forgiven you and say they love you and are glad no one got hurt.
Worf: Thank you all! We are almost worthy of them.
Gowron: Speaking of significant others: what can you tell us about yours?
Padmé: well, his name is Anakin Skywalker. People rant about him all over the social media: "why is he white?"; "why isn't he Jewish?"; "why isn't he a Naboo citizen?"; "why is he a Terran?". At least nobody suggests that I date a girl, or a kangaroo or Jar Jar Binks or complains about the fact that he is about my age, or whatever.
Padmé: The worst part about him is that after we both got our Computer Science B.Sc's, he decided to go to jedi school, and he's been stuck there for over 2 years now, and he's become so busy that he started taking our relationship for granted.
Gowron: Jedi-training programs can reportedly be completed in under a year [Qui-Gon nods], and it is a crime to take a relationship with a beautiful warrior such as yourself for granted! You have your needs, for one…
Padmé: Oh, I have my needs all-right! Only my physical needs are not a problem…
[ The ponies say "Ooh!" and then start chuckling. ]
Padmé: Knock it off, you three!
[ The ponies laugh, take out smartphones, and use them to tweet. ]
Padmé: Anyway, the problem is my spiritual needs: talking, going on dates, geeking out together.
Padmé: As it stands, he has become incredibly terse even in our online messaging conversations.
Worf: Your majesty, would you like to make that part off-the-record?
Padmé: off-the-record? Fuck that! I want the whole world and their sister-in-law to know that while I ostensibly have a boyfriend, and I still love him, he is not giving me sufficient attention.
Gowron: [cheers for Padmé] your Majesty, sounds like you need to honestly confront him, and give him an ultimatum.
Padmé: Perhaps…