[ There are three young men dressed as Klingons who fight with Bat’leth in the park. Selina is passing by and shakes her head in disapproval. The three notice Selina, and quickly run to her. ]
Warrior #1: HAIL THE SLAYER, WE ARE BUT YOUR HUMBLE SLAVES!
Selina: [Shocked] And who might you be?
Warrior #1: WE ARE THE THREE - THREE VAMPIRE BROTHER WARRIORS, WHO HAVE BEEN FIGHTING SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME.
Selina: And yet you are Klingons…
Warrior #2: WE CAN ASSUME ANY FORM.
Warrior #1: YES, WE CAN FIGHT USING ANY WEAPON, AND WE ARE MASTERS OF THEM ALL.
Selina: So you can fight with something that’s not a Bat’leth?
Warrior #1: OF COURSE, FOR EXAMPLE, WE COULD FIGHT USING THE HUGE SWORD!
Warrior #2 and Warrior #3: YEAH, THE HUGE SWORD!
The Three: [in unison] HUGE SWORD!
[ Warrior #1 snaps his fingers, and some of these ridiculously large swords from World of Warcraft appear on the ground. ]
Selina: Wow, can you fight using them?
The Three: [non-dramatically] Eh, eh, we cannot lift them.
Selina: Guess not. [Puts her palm on her eyes.] Maybe try something smaller and not as heavy.
Warrior #2: YES, SMALLER.
Warrior #3: AND NOT AS HEAVY.
Warrior #1: YOU’RE NOT THINKING ABOUT THE SMALLEST… YET DEADLIEST WEAPON FOR A MIGHTY VAMPIRE WARRIOR… THE WOODEN TOOTHPICK!
[ The three cry “yeah”. Warrior #1 snaps his fingers and the huge swords are replaced by small wooden toothpicks. ]
Selina: Toothpicks? Have you blokes been watching too much Sesame Street?
Warrior #1: WHY, OF COURSE! EVERY MIGHTY KLINGON WARRIOR HAS WATCHED SESAME STREET.
Selina: Mighty Klingon vampire warriors who have watched Sesame Street… this decade royally sucks!!
Selina: Fine, I don’t care that you’re going to slay yourselves using toothpicks, despite claiming to be the greatest fighters in history - you brought it on yourselves. Just do it here on the trail where no one will care about the dust from your bodies.
[ She guides the three to the trail, where they make some battle cries and then hurl the toothpicks with great speed at each other’s hearts. ]
Warrior #1: WHAT A DAY TO FIGHT USING TOOTHPICKS!
[ They look at each other ]
The Three: [In unison] Oh, oh.
The Three: WE HAVE BEEN SLAIN BY BUFFY MAGEIA, THE SLAYER. [There is a bright greenish-yellowish triangle extending from their bodies and extends outwards, and then they perish and evaporate into dust.]
[ Selina watches this and is frightened. ]
Selina: Whoa! Oh well, served them right.
[ She walks away. Her mobile phone rings. ]
Selina: [On the phone] Hello?
Selina: Oh, hi, Jess!
Selina: In a park…
Selina: Well, it was a good day for some Klingons I met to die.
Jessica on the phone: Sel, you’re getting strange lately, but you are becoming more amusing in the process.
Selina: Tell me about it! By the way, apparently, we will never be able to truly appreciate Sesame Street until we watch it in the original Klingon.
Jessica on the phone: [Laughing] I guess I’ll never understand.
[ Selina exits the frame ]
[ The guide is standing on a trail in the park waiting. Selina approaches him ]
The Guide: CONGRATULATIONS MAGEIA! THE THREE HAVE BEEN SLAIN BY YOU!
Selina: Yes, I know. It was not too hard, but I was surprised there are Klingon vampires.
The Guide: YOU SHOULD NOT BE SO NAIVE IN THE FUTURE. VAMPIRISM HAS BEEN A SCOURGE ALL ACROSS THE UNIVERSE.
The Guide: BUT SOON YOU MUST FACE AN EVEN MORE CHALLENGING ADVERSARY - AN INFAMOUS DEMON OF MUCH POWER.
Selina: Really? How is he called?
The Guide: HE MUST NOT BE NAMED, FOR HE CAN TELL WHENEVER HIS NAME IS BEING UTTERED.
Selina: Got it. I shall do my best to slay him. I don't suppose his name is Voldemort, right?
[ Cut to The Guide, he is unamused and angry looking. ]
Selina: Oh well, guess I won't need a wand for this one.
Selina: Bye, Mr. Guide. [She walks away.]
The Guide: FAREWELL, MAGEIA! AND REMEMBER THAT SLAYING IS NO LAUGHING MATTER.