Who is the Messiah?
PrevNode Link[ The music changes to “Kill Dash Nine” by Monzy. ]
SGlau: OK, Sarah, assuming I am going to vanquish the NSA (and I assume you don’t mean physically, because that would be suicide and futile)… why?
SMG: Orders from above.
SGlau: Above? Like the president?
SMG: Higher.
SGlau: [pause]… God?
SMG: Lower.
SGlau: Between the President and God, I don’t suppose you mean the Pope?
SMG: Oh no… You realise I’m Jewish.
SGlau: That I do… Are you going to tell me the Messiah told you that?
SMG: You got it — the Messiah.
SGlau: Heh, who is the Messiah?
SMG: To keep a long story short - I am the Messiah.
SGlau: Sounds crazy, but I’m a very non-normative girl myself.
SMG: Do you want to hear the longer story?
SGlau: I guess, unless you want me to get rid of the NSA now, by orders from the Messiah, who is none other than Sarah Michelle Gellar.
SMG: We’ve got a lot of time for that. OK: it was 1997-1998ish, Buffy started airing and became a cult series. So, one day a group of yeshivah pupils from a local Chabad yeshivah arrived to the studios saying they have some numerological insights from the Jewish bible, about what will happen in Sunnydale next.
[ SGlau bursts out laughing. ]
SGlau: [calms down] Oh my God, that’s the craziest thing I have ever heard.
SMG: Anyway, we played along, and listened to what they had to say, and actually got a few good ideas from that. Moreover, in one of the recesses, one of the yeshivah pupils asked me out, and I accepted.
SMG: So we went on a date.
SGlau: So you mean like the 1997ish Sarah Michelle Gellar, and a yeshivah pupil… On a date?!
SMG: Yes! And I actually had some weirder dates as a happy spinster.
SMG: Anyhow, surprisingly, it was a very nice date, I had a great time, and I learned quite a bit.
SGlau: Heh.
SMG: And one thing he told me was that every Jew (as he said) should believe they are the Messiah, which is something I treasured since.
SGlau: So I presume I’m also the Messiah?
SMG: You got it. We are the most powerful people on Earth, and we should aim to bring the latter days.
SGlau: Lovely.
[ She thinks for a moment. ]
SGlau: Tell you what? OK, let’s kick the ass out of those NSA losers, being the Messiahs and all. I’m game.
SMG: Woo hoo!
[ The order arrives. ]
SGlau: Thank you, ma’am.
SMG: Thanks.
Waitress: You’re welcome. Enjoy your order.
Waitress: Enjoy your conspiring. I'll be over there if you need anything.
SMG: [Smiling] many thanks. We will.
SGlau: yes, thank you.
[ The waitress goes away. ]
SGlau: So what’s the plan? Gotta be prepared.
SMG: Here’s what I was thinking, but a lot of it is gonna be play by ear.
SGlau: [Grabs a cookie] I’m listening!
[ Fade to black. Cut ]