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“Terminator: Liberation” - An Illustrated Screenplay for a Terminator parody starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Emma Watson - Ongoing Text [possible satire]
“Hasta la vista, baby tank girl!”
Abstract
It might seem preposterous to believe Emma Watson is the new Arnold Schwarzenegger just because they were both Hollywood's best paid actors and you would be right. Emma Watson is not the new Arnold Schwarzenegger.
But Arnold Schwarzenegger will forever be remembered as the old EMMA FUCKIN' WATSON!
A self-referential and illustrated parody of the Terminator franchise, with Emma Watson as herself and her cosplayer, Hannah, as the evil terminator, and with Arnold Schwarzenegger as himself and a cosplayer of his, Aharon, as the good terminator. Takes place in Tel Aviv during Passover and Olamot Con.
Terminator: Liberation - A Self-Referential Terminator Parody
Node LinkAbout this screenplay
Node LinkNext[ A Terminator parody that takes place in Tel Aviv, Israel in Passover התשפ״א (5781), 2021 AD (around the time that Olamot Con takes place). ]
[ This text is Copyright by Shlomi Fish, 2019 and is made available under the Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial Share-Alike 4.0 Unported Licence (CC-by-nc-sa) (or at your option - any later version). ]
Emma Watson Finishes storytelling “The Lion King”
PrevNode LinkNext[ Black screen. Initial Credits.
Caption on the screen: "Emma Watson as herself". ]
[ Emma Watson is sitting on the floor in Rabin Square holding her smartphone in one hand and with four children seated in front of her listening, and some bystanders listening or recording her with their phones.
She is wearing a T-shirt with this caption and has an Olamot Con attendee name tag: ]
[ Applause. ]
Getting icecream
PrevNode LinkNext[ The kids and Emma enter Vaniglia at Ibn Gabirol st. There are two vendors - Ronen, a male in his 20s to the right, and Efrat, an 18 years old female. ]
[ They go to order. Emma heads towards Efrat. ]
[ Cut to Efrat. ]
[ One of the children takes the phone and records. ]
[ They all laugh. The child stops recording and returns the phone. ]
[ Cut. ]
Emulating Arnold Schwarzenegger as Hamlet
PrevNode LinkNext[ Caption on the screen: "Arnold Schwarzenegger as himself". ]
[ Two children emulating the Hamlet parody scene : a boy playing Schwarzenegger and a girl doing the special audible effects and the narration. ]
[ Applause from the audience, the girl and the boy bow.
Arnold Schwarzenegger approaches wearing a shirt with a caption
"Gotta be a badass to play one in the movies.
Arnold @Schwarzenegger at your service!"
]
[ Photos taken of Arnold together with the two children performers. ]
The evil terminator Hannah
PrevNode LinkNext[ Hannah, the Emma-like Terminator, appears out of a portal in an old Tel Aviv apartment building with clothes on, carrying an AK-47. She is wearing a T-shirt with the caption: "Gonna terminate @EmmaWatson and @Schwarzenegger. I'm Hannah, BTW."
She marches out.
Cut.
Hannah arrives at Olamot Con. Some attendees recognise her and she is busy tending to the crowd (talking, posing, etc.). ]
The good terminator Aharon
PrevNode LinkNext[ Aharon appears out of a portal in a side corridor of the school in which Olamot Con takes place, carrying a shotgun. He is wearing a T-shirt with the caption: "@EmmaWatson and @Schwarzenegger shall not be terminated! I am Aharon, the good Arnold-like terminator, BTW."
He marches out. ]
Emma returning the children
PrevNode LinkNext[ Emma brings the children to one of the mothers. ]
[ They walk away. ]
Emma and Arnold meet Aharon
PrevNode LinkNext[ Emma approaches Arnold. ]
[ They walk. ]
Fighting the evil terminator
PrevNode LinkNextWhere is Hannah
Node LinkNext[ They see Hannah through the window talking, interviewing, and posing for her photos with fans. ]
Initiating Game
PrevNode LinkNext[ Message on the screen:
Hannah the Evil Emma Watson-Like Terminator.
vs.
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Emma Watson
Aharon the Good Arnold-like Terminator
--------------
Challenge Accepted! ]
Level 1: Hannah using a machine gun
PrevNode LinkNext[ Hannah storms towards the good guys' trio, who are hiding behind a bunker, while spray shooting. ]
[ An upper electromagnet attracts Hannah's AK-47 to the ceiling and she tries in vein to release it. ]
[ Rainbow Dash sets up a cyclone which twirls Hannah out of the machine gun's reach. ]
[ The AK-47 is shot out of one of the hall's upper windows. ]
Level 2: Hannah using a tank
PrevNode LinkNext[ Hannah is driving a tank with the newfangled anti- RPG receptors. ]
[ A flood of wooden logs lands on or around the tank devastating the anti-RPG weapons and shaking the tank. ]
[ Hannah falls from the Tank, only to be hit on the head with more logs, and faint. ]
[ Hannah, wakes up, looks around, becomes angry, and boards the tank.
The tank stands still, but starts shooting from left to right, causing explosions on the wall behind the bunker which emit a lot of misty dust. ]
[ Cut to some mist over the bunker. Fluttershy emerges from the mist, mounts an RPG-7, aims, and fires. Many clones of her surrounding the tank do the same. The RPG missiles travel forward in the air, hit and destroy Hannah's tank. ]
[ Inspired by Terminator vs Jesus HD The Greatest Action Story Ever Told Mad T.V. 1996 ("Hasta la vista, baby Jesus!") , by Tank Girl, and by Emma Watson and Hannah being short and petite. ]
[ They shake hands / hooves / tails. ]
Level 3: Hannah using martial arts
PrevNode LinkNext[ Hannah is shown doing show-off martial arts moves (Not unlike this Chun-Li cosplay.) possibly mock-ones. ]
[ Aharon writes a script:
perl -E 'while (1) {
my $text= "Give up" . (" giving up" x ($i++)) . "!";
my $cmd=qq%echo '\''(SayText "$text")'\'' | festival%;
system($cmd);
print $text . "\n";
}'After pressing "Enter", the message is being sounded. ]
[ Cut to Hannah's monitoring display view.
It displays increasingly longer lines at an increasing speed, followed by a stacktrace. ]
[ Cut to the battle room. ]
[ Message on the screen: Battle won! Hannah has lost.
Game menu with two options "Play Again" and "Exit Game".
"Exit Game" is selected. ]
Meeting Hannah for Tea
PrevNode Link[ Cut to the Olamot Con's realer life view of the school yard. ]
[ The crowd laughs and disbands. Idan, a young man, remains. ]
[ Emma, Arnold, and Aharon, approach Hannah and Idan, and start shaking hands, and heading over to the café / restaurant. ]
Bedtime story
PrevNode LinkNext[ Cut to Discord (MLP) telling a bedtime story for the Cutie Mark Crusaders (= Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo). ]
[ Caption on the screen:
For this year in the established Tel Aviv.
לשנה הזו בתל-אביב הבנויה. ]
(Addendum) A parody of the Last Action Hero’s “Hamlet Parody scene” starring Cher Horowitz from Clueless
PrevNode LinkNext[ Parody of the Hamlet parody scene starring Cher Horowitz from "Clueless". ]
[ On a video chat using her desktop computer: ]
[ Cut. ]
Dedications
PrevNode Link[ A wise man once said that “It's the way of the world to praise dead saints and persecute living ones”. Well, I’ve decided to not give in, and praise a few living great men, who are likely messiahs or "hacker monarchs".
I hereby praise the former Pope Benedict XVI, who resigned back in 2013 (see this mini-essay I wrote shortly after that for the reasons), the Japanese Emperor Emeritus Akihito, the head of the Linux kernel project Linus Torvalds, the former president of the Free Software Foundation, Richard M. Stallman (RMS), and Guido van Rossum, who is a software developer who created the Python programming language.
They all became hacker kings due to either birth, or by choice, and they all "slew" themselves (metaphorically) and retired (similar to Solon's tactic); at least temporarily.
I also dedicate it to Queen Elizabeth II, who is a good woman, a great woman, and likely may admit to being a hacker monarch by now. While "the media" may paint her as senile, I suspect she is not. However, she may opt to follow suit and become queen regnant Emerita (and still remain a wonderful and effective hacker monarch/messiah), due to old age.
Note that I do not intend to demote the alternatives to the projects they headed, or claim that I fully approve of all their actions and opinions. I am a secular Jewish resident and citizen of Israel, and while I like and use Python, I use many other programming languages (whether Turing-complete or not), which I also usually like. I also do not always agree with Stallman's opinions and I recently tried porting some of my FOSS projects to FreeBSD. But we can all learn from each other.
Also note that I do not wish them (or anyone else) to physically die, soon or ever. I just want people to acknowledge their worth, and appreciate them, including when they are still alive. ]
[ That put aside, the names of the two terminators, which were chosen as Hebrew names which were cognate with "Arnold" and "Emma", coincide with those of my late grandfather-on-my-father's side, Aharon Fish, whom I knew and loved up to my twenties, and his younger sister, Channah Fish, who lived up to 103 and passed away a few years ago (as of 2021). They were both Warsaw-born Jews and the only known surviving siblings from their family after WWII.
I dedicate this screenplay to their memory as well. ]
