Peter Keating: Sorry you got kicked out of school, Howard.
Howard Roark: Don't be sorry for me, sucka!!! Don't nobody never be sorry for me!!!
(Clacks teeth menacingly.)
Peter: I work for the greatest architect in the world! Sorry you're working for some washed-up shmoe. Say, can you do this work for me?
Howard: You betcha! But what I really ought to do is pull out your heart and eat it!!! AH-HAAAA-HAAAA-HAAA- HAAAAAAAAAA...
Peter:That building you designed for me made me rich and famous! I know you're broke, Howard. Can I help you out?
Howard: Not me, buddy. I'm going to work in a quarry upstate. And you're lucky I don't take your spine with me as a souveneir! AH-HAAAA-HAAAA-HAAA- HAAAAAAAAAA...
Dominique Francon: Hello. To prove how far above the masses we are, would you like to break into my house tonight and rape me?
Howard: Would I? Hotcha!!! (Clacks teeth, intending to be jaunty, but comes across as menacing.)
Dominique: I love you so much I must destroy you!!! I think I'll marry Peter Keating.
Howard: Wouldn't have it any other way, baby!
The Masses: Oh, Ellsworth Toohey, you're magnificent!
Ellsworth Toohey: If only they knew how much I
despised them all, and how I long for every bit of their individuality
to be eradicated. I must destroy that Howard Roark!!!
Gail Wynand: Now that I've met Howard Roark, I don't think I'll kill myself, and I'll put all the resources of my vast publishing empire to work championing him! Let's get married, Dominique!!!
Dominique: Okay.
Peter: Now I'm old and sad, Howard. Will you design this building for me?
Howard: Oh, why not?
Howard: Man, do I hate this building!!! Why do I keep doing buildings for that guy?
Howard: Blah, blah, blah, blah, ninety thousand pages of blah...blah, blah, blah...
Toohey: Howard Roark won, but at least I sued you and kept my job!!!
Wynand: Nuh-uh! I've realized that I'll never be like Howard Roark, so I'm closing the paper and liquidating my vast financial empire.
Dominique: Yay! Now we can get married!!!
Howard: Why couldn't we before?
The above parody was created by Robert Lee.
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